Summer
Title: Summer
Series: Love hurts
Written by: Parishs
Rating: pg
Summary: Luke goes to Dallas to tell Reid the truth.
Prompt: Fun Fic Friday prompt of Summer (07-4-2014)
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Previous chapter
Thank god the hotel had a room for me that night, Reg had booked me a flight but didn’t think about anything else. Or maybe he thought that I would jump into Reid’s bed.
The young guy at the reception was well trained, he didn’t give me the room number I asked for.
“Can you call dr. Oliver please, and ask him to come downstairs? I really have to talk to him”, I tried.
“Mister Snyder, it’s too late to bother our guests, you have to wait till tomorrow, then my colleagues will be helping you anyway they can”, the clerk said softy. Then he got a call and walked away.
I couldn’t help myself, I turned the computer monitor towards me and saw a guest list. Reid had room 3567. O shit.
It took me a while to figure out in what wing his room was, but finally I stood in front of his door. My heart was pounding in my ears, but I was more determined than ever. I knocked on his door and waited.
The guy that opened the door looked at me with sleepy eyes. His body was toned, tall, and his blond hair was messy.
“I’m sorry, did I wake you?”, I asked, wishing the ground under my feet would open and make me disappear. Why didn’t I give Reid what he asked? More time? Who was this guy, standing in front of me in his boxers? What was he doing in Reid’s room?
The well rehearsed things I wanted to say to Reid echoed in my head. I was willing to try with him, I wanted to push my own issues aside to find out if we had a click. But he didn’t wait, he went back to his old life and was here with a guy.
The man looked puzzled at me. “Who are you an why are you bothering us so late?”, he asked.
I swallowed. “I am Luke Snyder and I wanted to talk to Reid, I didn’t know he had company”, I said softly. “We know each other from Oakdale, we are working together on a new hospital wing”.
“And you have feelings for him, obviously”, the man said.
Why was this his business? All I wanted was to leave.
“I am Mark, come in”, he said and took a step back, giving me room to enter.
What the fuck was going on here? Did he really think that I wanted to witness them together? Why did Reid go back to his ex, the guy that had hurt him?
“Eh, no thanks”, I said and turned around, grabbing my bag. The implication of what I just saw didn’t hit me just yet, but I knew this was the end of my relationship with Reid. He went back to his ex when he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t talk to me, he just left me after I had touched him.
Confused I walked down the hallway to the elevator, not able to think straight. Could I book a flight back tonight? Why did he do this to me? Why did I start something when I wasn’t ready? What had happened between us? Why did this hurt so much?
I was startled when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Mark was dressed in a robe now. “Luke, can you please come to our room, we have to talk, I want to explain why I am here”.
I wanted to punch him in the face, but I could control myself. “There’s no need Mark, I have a picture of what has happened. Reid came here all confused and called you, you guys talked and one thing led to another. I get that”.
He forced me to look at him. “You have him confused, that’s right. He doesn’t know what’s going on inside of him, his feelings have never been this intense. And when you touched him…he has told me you know, how much your touch affects him. I have never seen him so honest. So emotional. For the first time I have seen him crying. But please, sit down, can I get you something?”.
I looked around in the huge room. Reid was sound asleep. Mark pushed me in the direction of another room and offered me a chair. I sat down.
“Why are you here?”, I asked softly, trying not to sound too annoyed.
He smiled at me. “You want to know if we had sex. The answer is no. Reid was in no condition, and he was clear about it. We just talked, I have never heard him talk so much, he couldn’t stop the words coming from his mouth.
He came here to talk to me about our relationship, he said he didn’t ‘t want to make the same mistakes with you. He wanted to know why he started drinking, what had happened in our time together that he felt the need to drown his emotions.
It was good that we finally were honest and open, we should have done that last summer. I realized tonight how sensitive he is, I saw him as a drunk, especially the last months we were together. Now I see how I have pressured him into someone he wasn’t. He told me how much he can be himself with you, and how you challenge him to be honest. He really likes you Luke”.
It was too much, what he was telling me, but I heard the last sentence loud and clear. “I like him too Mark”, I said softly. “But we are both so insecure that we don’t know what to do. Can you tell me something about the relationship you had with Reid?”.
“What do you want to know?”, he asked.
“What I am really curious about is why Reid is so broken. He is cautious and holding back, and I know I have to ask him myself, but now we are here, maybe you can shine your light on things”.
“Yeah you are right Luke, he needs to tell his side of the story, but I can tell you how I felt when I was with him. We met at a party and I liked him, I asked him home with me and he said yes. And after that we stayed together. Because we liked each other, and we didn’t have anyone else.
At least that was how I saw it. Last night he told me how much he had loved me, and honestly, I didn’t know. I told him that I loved him, but quite frankly, for me it was just a nice time. I thought that Reid was pushing me, suffocating me in a way, and it made me cranky. I started to go out with friends again, because Reid worked more and more hours at the hospital. And while he was trying to keep me close, all I did was party and cheat.
My soul wasn’t in it anymore, but I didn’t know how to end it. I liked him very much and I didn’t want to hurt him, so we stayed together. I noticed of course that he drank more and more, and I was concerned, but it was also easy for me, he didn’t want me so much when he was drunk, so I….it’s hard to look back at that period of time…..I watched it happen.
I didn’t know that he drank so much that he couldn’t work anymore, I swear, otherwise I would have helped him, you have to believe me, I liked him and cared about him”.
“But why didn’t you know that he loved you so much? You talked, right? What went wrong on that level?”.
“We didn’t talk much Luke, we worked our asses off and when we were free we went to the gym. You have no idea how many hours a doctor makes, he was away many nights, weekends, sometimes I didn’t see him in weeks.
And that was okay by me, but looking back, Reid couldn’t cope with me, he loved me but he didn’t know what I wanted from him. If only he had talked to me back then instead of grabbing the bottle, then I could have told him that I wasn’t as much in love with him as he was with me. If I had really seen him, I would have gone to an AA meeting with him. But in a way he was a burden to me”.
“O my god”, I whispered, thinking about the man I liked so much. He must have felt it, how Mark had tried to avoid him. Maybe Noah was like Mark, maybe he had seen me as a burden too.
“And last night, when you talked, how did he take it, that you weren’t really in love with him?”, I asked.
“He told me how much I had hurt him. Reid isn’t a quitter, he didn’t want to let me go, he tried everything he could think of to make us work. He thought that he had failed. In a way it was a relief that it wasn’t his fault, he could never have fixed this.
But he was angry that I hadn’t been honest to him. “If only…”, he repeated time and time again. I felt so lousy, but I can’t turn back time. I have been honest and now he has to learn to accept that.
The thing that scares him the most is that he has feelings for you…..maybe I shouldn’t tell you this”.
I grabbed his hands and looked at him. “Please tell me Mark”, I said. “I need to know, talk to me”.
Mark caressed my hands and smiled at me. “You really like him don’t you?”.
next chapter
Series: Love hurts
Written by: Parishs
Rating: pg
Summary: Luke goes to Dallas to tell Reid the truth.
Prompt: Fun Fic Friday prompt of Summer (07-4-2014)
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Previous chapter
Thank god the hotel had a room for me that night, Reg had booked me a flight but didn’t think about anything else. Or maybe he thought that I would jump into Reid’s bed.
The young guy at the reception was well trained, he didn’t give me the room number I asked for.
“Can you call dr. Oliver please, and ask him to come downstairs? I really have to talk to him”, I tried.
“Mister Snyder, it’s too late to bother our guests, you have to wait till tomorrow, then my colleagues will be helping you anyway they can”, the clerk said softy. Then he got a call and walked away.
I couldn’t help myself, I turned the computer monitor towards me and saw a guest list. Reid had room 3567. O shit.
It took me a while to figure out in what wing his room was, but finally I stood in front of his door. My heart was pounding in my ears, but I was more determined than ever. I knocked on his door and waited.
The guy that opened the door looked at me with sleepy eyes. His body was toned, tall, and his blond hair was messy.
“I’m sorry, did I wake you?”, I asked, wishing the ground under my feet would open and make me disappear. Why didn’t I give Reid what he asked? More time? Who was this guy, standing in front of me in his boxers? What was he doing in Reid’s room?
The well rehearsed things I wanted to say to Reid echoed in my head. I was willing to try with him, I wanted to push my own issues aside to find out if we had a click. But he didn’t wait, he went back to his old life and was here with a guy.
The man looked puzzled at me. “Who are you an why are you bothering us so late?”, he asked.
I swallowed. “I am Luke Snyder and I wanted to talk to Reid, I didn’t know he had company”, I said softly. “We know each other from Oakdale, we are working together on a new hospital wing”.
“And you have feelings for him, obviously”, the man said.
Why was this his business? All I wanted was to leave.
“I am Mark, come in”, he said and took a step back, giving me room to enter.
What the fuck was going on here? Did he really think that I wanted to witness them together? Why did Reid go back to his ex, the guy that had hurt him?
“Eh, no thanks”, I said and turned around, grabbing my bag. The implication of what I just saw didn’t hit me just yet, but I knew this was the end of my relationship with Reid. He went back to his ex when he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t talk to me, he just left me after I had touched him.
Confused I walked down the hallway to the elevator, not able to think straight. Could I book a flight back tonight? Why did he do this to me? Why did I start something when I wasn’t ready? What had happened between us? Why did this hurt so much?
I was startled when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Mark was dressed in a robe now. “Luke, can you please come to our room, we have to talk, I want to explain why I am here”.
I wanted to punch him in the face, but I could control myself. “There’s no need Mark, I have a picture of what has happened. Reid came here all confused and called you, you guys talked and one thing led to another. I get that”.
He forced me to look at him. “You have him confused, that’s right. He doesn’t know what’s going on inside of him, his feelings have never been this intense. And when you touched him…he has told me you know, how much your touch affects him. I have never seen him so honest. So emotional. For the first time I have seen him crying. But please, sit down, can I get you something?”.
I looked around in the huge room. Reid was sound asleep. Mark pushed me in the direction of another room and offered me a chair. I sat down.
“Why are you here?”, I asked softly, trying not to sound too annoyed.
He smiled at me. “You want to know if we had sex. The answer is no. Reid was in no condition, and he was clear about it. We just talked, I have never heard him talk so much, he couldn’t stop the words coming from his mouth.
He came here to talk to me about our relationship, he said he didn’t ‘t want to make the same mistakes with you. He wanted to know why he started drinking, what had happened in our time together that he felt the need to drown his emotions.
It was good that we finally were honest and open, we should have done that last summer. I realized tonight how sensitive he is, I saw him as a drunk, especially the last months we were together. Now I see how I have pressured him into someone he wasn’t. He told me how much he can be himself with you, and how you challenge him to be honest. He really likes you Luke”.
It was too much, what he was telling me, but I heard the last sentence loud and clear. “I like him too Mark”, I said softly. “But we are both so insecure that we don’t know what to do. Can you tell me something about the relationship you had with Reid?”.
“What do you want to know?”, he asked.
“What I am really curious about is why Reid is so broken. He is cautious and holding back, and I know I have to ask him myself, but now we are here, maybe you can shine your light on things”.
“Yeah you are right Luke, he needs to tell his side of the story, but I can tell you how I felt when I was with him. We met at a party and I liked him, I asked him home with me and he said yes. And after that we stayed together. Because we liked each other, and we didn’t have anyone else.
At least that was how I saw it. Last night he told me how much he had loved me, and honestly, I didn’t know. I told him that I loved him, but quite frankly, for me it was just a nice time. I thought that Reid was pushing me, suffocating me in a way, and it made me cranky. I started to go out with friends again, because Reid worked more and more hours at the hospital. And while he was trying to keep me close, all I did was party and cheat.
My soul wasn’t in it anymore, but I didn’t know how to end it. I liked him very much and I didn’t want to hurt him, so we stayed together. I noticed of course that he drank more and more, and I was concerned, but it was also easy for me, he didn’t want me so much when he was drunk, so I….it’s hard to look back at that period of time…..I watched it happen.
I didn’t know that he drank so much that he couldn’t work anymore, I swear, otherwise I would have helped him, you have to believe me, I liked him and cared about him”.
“But why didn’t you know that he loved you so much? You talked, right? What went wrong on that level?”.
“We didn’t talk much Luke, we worked our asses off and when we were free we went to the gym. You have no idea how many hours a doctor makes, he was away many nights, weekends, sometimes I didn’t see him in weeks.
And that was okay by me, but looking back, Reid couldn’t cope with me, he loved me but he didn’t know what I wanted from him. If only he had talked to me back then instead of grabbing the bottle, then I could have told him that I wasn’t as much in love with him as he was with me. If I had really seen him, I would have gone to an AA meeting with him. But in a way he was a burden to me”.
“O my god”, I whispered, thinking about the man I liked so much. He must have felt it, how Mark had tried to avoid him. Maybe Noah was like Mark, maybe he had seen me as a burden too.
“And last night, when you talked, how did he take it, that you weren’t really in love with him?”, I asked.
“He told me how much I had hurt him. Reid isn’t a quitter, he didn’t want to let me go, he tried everything he could think of to make us work. He thought that he had failed. In a way it was a relief that it wasn’t his fault, he could never have fixed this.
But he was angry that I hadn’t been honest to him. “If only…”, he repeated time and time again. I felt so lousy, but I can’t turn back time. I have been honest and now he has to learn to accept that.
The thing that scares him the most is that he has feelings for you…..maybe I shouldn’t tell you this”.
I grabbed his hands and looked at him. “Please tell me Mark”, I said. “I need to know, talk to me”.
Mark caressed my hands and smiled at me. “You really like him don’t you?”.
next chapter