FIC: Iridescence, 5/10 - Unpacked (Nikki, OMC, PG-13) (Color: Brown)
Title: Iridescence, 5/10 - Unpacked
Word Count: 634.
Characters: Nikki, OMC.
Rating: PG-13.
Warnings: Drug use.
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Some stuff always remains unpacked; it’s just so tedious to her to dig into them.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Numb3rs.
Betas: The fantastic twins_m0m and the great lillyg.
Previous chapters: Find them here.
Color: Brown.
Previous chapter
Next chapter
Iridescence Series
Unpacked
It’s been too long since Nikki’s thought about family. It’s like the memories are fading away, even if she calls her parents every once in a while. That kind of life - safe, unlimited - is gone.
But she still loves this shirt so much. It is perfect, it would match his eyes so well. If they could see each other again, of course.
As Nikki stares at this particular closed box, she thinks of how much she’s done for herself, for her survival. She’s moved closer to the FBI headquarters, she’s abandoned the last traces of her past.
Some stuff always remains unpacked; it’s just so tedious to her to dig into them. Because when she does, the same story comes back, and it’s never easy for her to let it go. So she sits down on the floor, leaning her back against the wall, and lets one of her hands caress her hair as she pushes the images away.
She was in the middle of a living hell. She loved him deeply, she would do everything for him. Everything except keeping up with his hunger for living out fantasies that only hurt his body and his soul.
Yet there had to be a way to help him, to guide him out of his addiction. A friendly hand is what he needed, and maybe love would be answer. Maybe he’d see the light when he saw how much he meant to others.
The family had done as much as they could. But finally, when they couldn’t fight it anymore, Nikki was the last one to enter the battlefield. She just couldn’t leave him.
But one day, after she decided to buy him his birthday gift - the beautiful brown shirt he always talked about - she had found herself speechless at the bathroom door. She’d come home to put a smile on his face, to let him have his party, even if it would be an intimate one, with only one guest.
His damaged image welcomed her beside the sink. He was rolling his eyes, the shock making his body tremble. A used syringe lay on the floor.
Calling 911 and getting to the hospital with him inside an ambulance didn’t mean a solution. Not even the recovering process, not even the long talks did.
Addicts didn’t just refuse drugs, no matter if they understood that they were killing themselves. Once the substance got to their bodies, their system demanded it to function, to feel joy.
He wasn’t happy around anything or anyone anymore. He needed the dope to even give away the tiniest smile.
After watching him, fighting him, understanding him, trying to help him stop, Nikki realized that nothing would work. She went through the same stages endless times - home, drugs, ambulance, hospital, home… drugs.
And eventually, she couldn’t take it anymore. But Nikki would never be able to forget the night her brother got that close to death.
Even today, when she remembers his old smiles, his old freshness, and compares them to his darkest periods, she wonders what could have happened if she would have tried harder. The kind of life he’d chosen was dragging her down. But she can’t let go of him, not even of his shirt.
A tear falls down her cheek. She knows that he’s gone and he’ll never come back, but something keeps the things that remind her of him, of her possible mistakes. That brown shirt is in there, but she’ll never open it again. She can’t unleash the pain because she doesn’t know what the consequences could be.
In a way, through the years, she’s found the guilt that maybe she should feel. Because regret always means punishment to her.
But that’s okay.
Because that’s how she copes - by remembering and respecting what she’s lost.
Word Count: 634.
Characters: Nikki, OMC.
Rating: PG-13.
Warnings: Drug use.
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Some stuff always remains unpacked; it’s just so tedious to her to dig into them.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Numb3rs.
Betas: The fantastic twins_m0m and the great lillyg.
Previous chapters: Find them here.
Color: Brown.
Previous chapter
Next chapter
Iridescence Series
Unpacked
It’s been too long since Nikki’s thought about family. It’s like the memories are fading away, even if she calls her parents every once in a while. That kind of life - safe, unlimited - is gone.
But she still loves this shirt so much. It is perfect, it would match his eyes so well. If they could see each other again, of course.
As Nikki stares at this particular closed box, she thinks of how much she’s done for herself, for her survival. She’s moved closer to the FBI headquarters, she’s abandoned the last traces of her past.
Some stuff always remains unpacked; it’s just so tedious to her to dig into them. Because when she does, the same story comes back, and it’s never easy for her to let it go. So she sits down on the floor, leaning her back against the wall, and lets one of her hands caress her hair as she pushes the images away.
She was in the middle of a living hell. She loved him deeply, she would do everything for him. Everything except keeping up with his hunger for living out fantasies that only hurt his body and his soul.
Yet there had to be a way to help him, to guide him out of his addiction. A friendly hand is what he needed, and maybe love would be answer. Maybe he’d see the light when he saw how much he meant to others.
The family had done as much as they could. But finally, when they couldn’t fight it anymore, Nikki was the last one to enter the battlefield. She just couldn’t leave him.
But one day, after she decided to buy him his birthday gift - the beautiful brown shirt he always talked about - she had found herself speechless at the bathroom door. She’d come home to put a smile on his face, to let him have his party, even if it would be an intimate one, with only one guest.
His damaged image welcomed her beside the sink. He was rolling his eyes, the shock making his body tremble. A used syringe lay on the floor.
Calling 911 and getting to the hospital with him inside an ambulance didn’t mean a solution. Not even the recovering process, not even the long talks did.
Addicts didn’t just refuse drugs, no matter if they understood that they were killing themselves. Once the substance got to their bodies, their system demanded it to function, to feel joy.
He wasn’t happy around anything or anyone anymore. He needed the dope to even give away the tiniest smile.
After watching him, fighting him, understanding him, trying to help him stop, Nikki realized that nothing would work. She went through the same stages endless times - home, drugs, ambulance, hospital, home… drugs.
And eventually, she couldn’t take it anymore. But Nikki would never be able to forget the night her brother got that close to death.
Even today, when she remembers his old smiles, his old freshness, and compares them to his darkest periods, she wonders what could have happened if she would have tried harder. The kind of life he’d chosen was dragging her down. But she can’t let go of him, not even of his shirt.
A tear falls down her cheek. She knows that he’s gone and he’ll never come back, but something keeps the things that remind her of him, of her possible mistakes. That brown shirt is in there, but she’ll never open it again. She can’t unleash the pain because she doesn’t know what the consequences could be.
In a way, through the years, she’s found the guilt that maybe she should feel. Because regret always means punishment to her.
But that’s okay.
Because that’s how she copes - by remembering and respecting what she’s lost.