couples_therapy | 43.5 (from Week 28)
"There can't be any feelings between the likes of you and the likes of me."
- My Fair Lady
[Follows THIS and THIS]
The rain was lashing down outside, making the already miserable day seem so much heavier. Andrew sat on the sill off his bedroom window and looked out at the rain pelting against the glass with a soft drumming sound. His knees were drawn up as he hugged his arms around them and rested his head against the window. He rarely called in sick, but he had that shift. No effort was even made to get out of his pyjamas and he spent the passing hours moping around his apartment. The whole horrible incident with Ali had been just the start. Now, following his brief and abrupt conversation with his cousin, Andrew was missing his Dad.
He buried his face against his knees as tears threatened. What had he been thinking kissing Alicia? He hadn’t stopped to think about it and he should have. He should have realised a relationship would be the last thing she wanted to think about. Getting close to anyone was probably the last thing she wanted to think about after losing so many people she loved in such a short amount of time. She was trying to deal with just giving birth and learning how to be a mother all on her own. He was nothing but a fucking bastard for interfering with any of that. She was right. They should never have met. He should never have gone to see her after bringing her in to hospital. He had been nothing but a total fool and he deserved every bit of hurt that was pulsing through him right now. The rejection he could take; he was so used to it. But he liked her and he had not only made things worse for her, he ruined what might have been a really nice friendship eventually. The worst of it all was how she looked at him. Like he had just hit or something. He never wanted to hurt her. He just wanted to help.
Things had gone down the shitter so quickly that he was left feeling like he had been flung off the highest peak of a rollercoaster. It wasn’t a nice feeling at all. He didn’t want to think about the fact that there was a chance he had been starting to have feelings for her. It was stupid to think like that, but he knew he wouldn’t have kissed her otherwise. He tried to tell him he was just caught up in the situation and yearning to help her, but it wasn’t even that. He felt like a fool for letting himself get involved. She had a lot of friends, even if she had lost those closest to her. No one was going to let her be completely alone. Maybe he had been trying to clutch to some sort of distraction, too? He knew the deep, painful ache of grief and thought helping her with hers could help him forget his own. It was almost a year to the day since his dad was killed in a car accident. He had been trying not to think about it, but now it had clawed it’s way up in his heart and was threatening to squeeze him until he couldn’t breathe.
He gave into the hurt and tears seeped into the soft cotton of his pyjamas pants, dampening the knees. The crying was silent, though, his face still buried away from the rest of the world. It was like if he looked up and back out the window, he would be forced to deal with this shit all over again and he just wasn’t ready to. He didn’t want to think about Ali and her baby daughter. He didn’t want to think about his Dad and how he had somehow gotten through twelve months without him. He didn’t want to let the guilt eat him up again, both over his father and now for being an idiot and letting his caring for Ali get under his skin. He had projected unwanted feelings in her direction and now he had to forget he had even met her. He had to forget all about her.
So why couldn’t he stop thinking about her?
Ali Sullivan [agentsullivan] and Luke Jackson [notskywalker] referenced with permission
Word Count | 697
- My Fair Lady
[Follows THIS and THIS]
The rain was lashing down outside, making the already miserable day seem so much heavier. Andrew sat on the sill off his bedroom window and looked out at the rain pelting against the glass with a soft drumming sound. His knees were drawn up as he hugged his arms around them and rested his head against the window. He rarely called in sick, but he had that shift. No effort was even made to get out of his pyjamas and he spent the passing hours moping around his apartment. The whole horrible incident with Ali had been just the start. Now, following his brief and abrupt conversation with his cousin, Andrew was missing his Dad.
He buried his face against his knees as tears threatened. What had he been thinking kissing Alicia? He hadn’t stopped to think about it and he should have. He should have realised a relationship would be the last thing she wanted to think about. Getting close to anyone was probably the last thing she wanted to think about after losing so many people she loved in such a short amount of time. She was trying to deal with just giving birth and learning how to be a mother all on her own. He was nothing but a fucking bastard for interfering with any of that. She was right. They should never have met. He should never have gone to see her after bringing her in to hospital. He had been nothing but a total fool and he deserved every bit of hurt that was pulsing through him right now. The rejection he could take; he was so used to it. But he liked her and he had not only made things worse for her, he ruined what might have been a really nice friendship eventually. The worst of it all was how she looked at him. Like he had just hit or something. He never wanted to hurt her. He just wanted to help.
Things had gone down the shitter so quickly that he was left feeling like he had been flung off the highest peak of a rollercoaster. It wasn’t a nice feeling at all. He didn’t want to think about the fact that there was a chance he had been starting to have feelings for her. It was stupid to think like that, but he knew he wouldn’t have kissed her otherwise. He tried to tell him he was just caught up in the situation and yearning to help her, but it wasn’t even that. He felt like a fool for letting himself get involved. She had a lot of friends, even if she had lost those closest to her. No one was going to let her be completely alone. Maybe he had been trying to clutch to some sort of distraction, too? He knew the deep, painful ache of grief and thought helping her with hers could help him forget his own. It was almost a year to the day since his dad was killed in a car accident. He had been trying not to think about it, but now it had clawed it’s way up in his heart and was threatening to squeeze him until he couldn’t breathe.
He gave into the hurt and tears seeped into the soft cotton of his pyjamas pants, dampening the knees. The crying was silent, though, his face still buried away from the rest of the world. It was like if he looked up and back out the window, he would be forced to deal with this shit all over again and he just wasn’t ready to. He didn’t want to think about Ali and her baby daughter. He didn’t want to think about his Dad and how he had somehow gotten through twelve months without him. He didn’t want to let the guilt eat him up again, both over his father and now for being an idiot and letting his caring for Ali get under his skin. He had projected unwanted feelings in her direction and now he had to forget he had even met her. He had to forget all about her.
So why couldn’t he stop thinking about her?
Ali Sullivan [agentsullivan] and Luke Jackson [notskywalker] referenced with permission
Word Count | 697