Weapon.
Pairing: Dick/Tim, Bruce/Dick
Date Written: November 29, 2005
Notes: Sequel to this.
Dick feels guilty. Not Scarlet Letter, whipping your own back guilty, but guilty enough that he can’t sleep at night for the weight of it. He knows he’s using Tim and that’s why he feels guilty, for the most part. But there’s also this nagging feeling that he’s actually recreating himself in Tim and Dick knows that’s not a good thing. Unrequited love, or more like obsession, isn’t healthy. Dick knows this and yet he feeds into Tim’s love, lust, obsession, whatever anyway. All because Tim is willing to play the part of Bruce in bed even if he doesn’t want any part of the Batman role outside of it. And Dick seriously wonders why he does it. Tim’s love for him can’t be all that strong, can it? Dick doesn’t want to think about it. Thinking about it makes his stomach tie up in knots. Thinking about it means feeling worse than he already does.
Despite his guilt and misgivings, Dick crawls into Tim’s bed at night anyway. He lets Tim touch him and kiss him and fuck him and he tries really hard to call out the right name this time, but doesn’t quite make it, and so he can’t meet Tim’s eyes afterward even if he can feel Tim’s eyes searching his face. Probably looking for signs of approval, which Dick isn’t sure that he should give anymore. Finally, Tim apparently gives up because he moves off Dick to lay beside him.
“Bruce made me wash the Batmobile today.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, you don’t think he, you know, knows, do you?”
Dick freezes in place. “No, he couldn’t.”
“You’re probably right. It was probably just a coincidence.”
Dick is paranoid already and this isn’t helping. What if Bruce had seen them? Wouldn’t he have said something by now?
“Yeah, probably,” Dick just says as he tries to shake it off.
Tim yawns. “Night, Dick.”
“Night, Tim.”
Dick turns his head to watch Tim close his eyes. He should probably leave, but instead he stays in place and watches Tim sleep. Tim looks about two years younger in his sleep and Dick feels even guiltier for dragging Tim into bed with him in the first place, forgetting completely that Tim made the first move anyway. Dick closes his eyes and wishes hard that he could take it all back. He feels like a kid for wishing it, instead of an adult who accepts the consequences of their actions. So he slides out of bed, whispering a soothing nothing when Tim shifts in his sleep and makes a sound of protest, and heads out of the room.
It’s a short walk down the hall to Bruce’s room. As always, the door is open, a holdover from the days when Dick would wake up from nightmares and crawl into bed with Bruce, who would always pick him up and carry him back to his own bed. Dick is certainly too old for that now, but that doesn’t stop him from doing it anyway. Bruce immediately comes awake and squints at Dick in the darkness.
“What are you doing?”
“I can’t sleep.”
Bruce makes a sound that’s almost a grunt, but not quite. “You should go back to bed.”
“Can’t I stay here?”
“Aren’t you a little old for that?”
“What harm could it do?”
Bruce makes that sound again and turns over so he’s facing away from Dick. By the tension in his shoulders, Dick can tell he isn’t falling asleep. Dick’s hand lifts to touch Bruce’s back, but he drops it halfway there. Admitting defeat, Dick slides out of Bruce’s bed and heads back to Tim’s room. Tim doesn’t wake up when Dick slides into bed beside him and Dick is grateful for that.
Date Written: November 29, 2005
Notes: Sequel to this.
Dick feels guilty. Not Scarlet Letter, whipping your own back guilty, but guilty enough that he can’t sleep at night for the weight of it. He knows he’s using Tim and that’s why he feels guilty, for the most part. But there’s also this nagging feeling that he’s actually recreating himself in Tim and Dick knows that’s not a good thing. Unrequited love, or more like obsession, isn’t healthy. Dick knows this and yet he feeds into Tim’s love, lust, obsession, whatever anyway. All because Tim is willing to play the part of Bruce in bed even if he doesn’t want any part of the Batman role outside of it. And Dick seriously wonders why he does it. Tim’s love for him can’t be all that strong, can it? Dick doesn’t want to think about it. Thinking about it makes his stomach tie up in knots. Thinking about it means feeling worse than he already does.
Despite his guilt and misgivings, Dick crawls into Tim’s bed at night anyway. He lets Tim touch him and kiss him and fuck him and he tries really hard to call out the right name this time, but doesn’t quite make it, and so he can’t meet Tim’s eyes afterward even if he can feel Tim’s eyes searching his face. Probably looking for signs of approval, which Dick isn’t sure that he should give anymore. Finally, Tim apparently gives up because he moves off Dick to lay beside him.
“Bruce made me wash the Batmobile today.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, you don’t think he, you know, knows, do you?”
Dick freezes in place. “No, he couldn’t.”
“You’re probably right. It was probably just a coincidence.”
Dick is paranoid already and this isn’t helping. What if Bruce had seen them? Wouldn’t he have said something by now?
“Yeah, probably,” Dick just says as he tries to shake it off.
Tim yawns. “Night, Dick.”
“Night, Tim.”
Dick turns his head to watch Tim close his eyes. He should probably leave, but instead he stays in place and watches Tim sleep. Tim looks about two years younger in his sleep and Dick feels even guiltier for dragging Tim into bed with him in the first place, forgetting completely that Tim made the first move anyway. Dick closes his eyes and wishes hard that he could take it all back. He feels like a kid for wishing it, instead of an adult who accepts the consequences of their actions. So he slides out of bed, whispering a soothing nothing when Tim shifts in his sleep and makes a sound of protest, and heads out of the room.
It’s a short walk down the hall to Bruce’s room. As always, the door is open, a holdover from the days when Dick would wake up from nightmares and crawl into bed with Bruce, who would always pick him up and carry him back to his own bed. Dick is certainly too old for that now, but that doesn’t stop him from doing it anyway. Bruce immediately comes awake and squints at Dick in the darkness.
“What are you doing?”
“I can’t sleep.”
Bruce makes a sound that’s almost a grunt, but not quite. “You should go back to bed.”
“Can’t I stay here?”
“Aren’t you a little old for that?”
“What harm could it do?”
Bruce makes that sound again and turns over so he’s facing away from Dick. By the tension in his shoulders, Dick can tell he isn’t falling asleep. Dick’s hand lifts to touch Bruce’s back, but he drops it halfway there. Admitting defeat, Dick slides out of Bruce’s bed and heads back to Tim’s room. Tim doesn’t wake up when Dick slides into bed beside him and Dick is grateful for that.