THREAD

[broken_clock]

Who: Fifth Doctor, Second Master, Lucy Saxon
What: Drama
When: Shortly after this
Where: The grounds, perhaps the village
Rating: PG-13?

Comments

[sinister_charm]

He's not running. He's walking, he's walking the pace of a man incensed, enraged, hellbent on destruction and chaos. He's a man wronged, and someone is going to have to pay for it.

It doesn't matter to him who it is, or how he'll do it. Someone has to pay for all of this.

He should have known better than to trust in something foolish like 'affection' or 'love' or anything of the sort. He was being played all along, he meant absolutely nothing. Nothing at all.

Perhaps that was what enraged him even more, even if he had no proof that he was right.

[broken_clock]

The Doctor stares at his back for a moment; he feels broken, as much as the first day he came, and probably looks it.

He walks slowly, pausing at Lucy's side, kneeling down to smile softly and touch her shoulder.

"I'm sorry." To both of them, of course, and he swiftly pulls away, ignoring the ache of his chest, his muscles, the pounding in his head.

When he reaches the Master he raises his hands, tries to brush them against his forehead; it's his last resort, all he has.

[dreams_in_red]

Lucy doesn't return the brief smile the Doctor gives her. She just looks back at him searchingly, eyes flicking back and forth as she takes him in, following him as he stands.

She starts as he steps towards the Master, and cries out Don't! in her mind. But she knows he isn't paying attention to her, and more than likely won't hear. For all she knows, the time he's spent with the Master recently, instead of her, has dulled that link between them.

So she tries to stagger back to her feet with another violent cough, still reeling from the Master's blow, and reach out a vain, pleading hand that the Doctor won't see.

[sinister_charm]

He's about a half a microsecond too late when he realizes what the Doctor's doing - and Contact is established against his will. It's almost like it was back when he was first revived, everything carefully put into some semblance of order smashed and shattered.

It wasn't as if it was on a very stable foundation to begin with anyway... but through all of it, there's a very distinct voice. One that is maddened and enraged.

GET OUT.

[broken_clock]

His brow furrows slightly, just before the touch; but he doesn't look back, simply presses into the Master's mind.

He expected it, but it hurts, but he manages to hold on, push on, he's gotten so good at that, he ought to have.

Do you remember the last time we did this, Koschei?

The name beats, sending pulses of feeling and memory, fierce with sincerity, and from his fingertips drift every emotion he feels now - anguish, guilt, fear, love, he doesn't hold anything back.

[dreams_in_red]

Lucy expected the Master to send the Doctor reeling, just as he did her, and when he doesn't she's surprised. Surprised, and wary.

She watches in her enforced silence and can't help but think of the first time she met the Doctor in person, when he established their link the very same way he's touching the Master now, and that ugly little voice pouts that is theirs. It ought to be theirs. He brought her back from the memory of Utopia. He saved her from that crushing loneliness. Shouldn't that be her role for him? Hers, instead of the Master's?

The hand not touching her face balls into a fist, and Lucy feels a little sick, and thinks fleetingly of dashing the Doctor's hands away from the Master's forehead.

[sinister_charm]

He tries to ignore it, tries to shove the Doctor away - but the man knows him disasterously well, he's been in his head so many times that... That its as if his carefully laid barriers are nothing.

It makes him feel sick. He remembers exactly the last time it happened: it made him sick then, too. But now its not just those feelings, but others, and perhaps if he weren't caught up in rage he could process them better.

Instead, its overwhelming.

Get out, Doctor. Just- get out. Being 'happy' is apparently something I can never have. Just get out, and GO. I knew I'd ruin it all anyway.

[broken_clock]

I promised that I wouldn't let you, Koschei.

His emotions become stronger, raw and swelling, larger than them both, he can't contain them anymore, for once he doesn't try, doesn't care who else sees them.

I meant every word.

Images, snapshots, ((pulsing)) with the dread of losing them, the joyous awe within them, the emptiness they would leave.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never told you and I'm sorry it came to this but you must know...you...

He's trembling, mind and body, and his words falter.

[dreams_in_red]

Lucy is still watching them because nothing is continuing to happen, and then she feels something like a tug at her mind: sorry sorry sorry and then a crushing weight of fear and loneliness and... love.

It almost staggers her back to the ground, but then it is gone as quickly as it came.

She wonders if she somehow just felt something of the Doctor--it felt like him--and she sees he's shaking. She wants to touch him, but she's afraid of breaking something, and she feels so very lonely all of a sudden.

I won't have anything more taken from me, Lucy decides suddenly, hating that loneliness she feels, so she reaches out and puts her fingertips on the Doctor's coat anyway.

[sinister_charm]

I can't do this.

He feels a need to lash out, strike again, strike mentally and show off how he feels. How he feels hurt, betrayed, but he's never been good at sharing those things, and he does nothing.

Not anymore. I do- I do care, but I refuse to-

There's a long quiet for him.

I refuse to be subjected to this. I was engaging in delusion thinking I could have you.

[broken_clock]

The shakes are becoming violent now, but he tries to ignore them, tries to focus; his eyes burn and he doesn't understand why -

- a jerk of his head and he's staring at Lucy, surprised, desperate, his vision blurred.

I'm sorry... Speaking to both of them, the words aching in his head. Slowly, slowly he turns back, closing his eyes. He barely has control over his own thoughts anymore.

The next words, the next thought, echoes an entirely different voice, younger and deeper.

Koschei...

[dreams_in_red]

Lucy wonders if the Master is hurting the Doctor, somehow. She can't hear him like she could hear Harry, but she can hear the Doctor now, again, and he sounds so wrong. This isn't the Doctor she's become used to, has even come to love a little if she's being honest with herself, and that scares her. She wants--needs--a steady, comforting presence here in Paradisa and she chose the Doctor for that. She can't abide seeing him like this.

She tries to bring him back to her in the moments he's looking at her, but he doesn't really see her, and she loses her chance. Doctor! she cries, and grabs his shoulders, Come back! He's hurting you! Don't leave me here alone!

[sinister_charm]

No. No. Theta. Theta, no.

He didn't want to hear that voice. Not that one. That one stung too hard, cut too deeply. He didn't want to hear a voice from so very long ago, when he was still innocent - to a fashion.

Enough. I can't. No, just- Go. Go, I can't do this, please. Its ruined already.

Perhaps its even worse that he's lost attention to his surroundings. He's just caught up in his head.

[broken_clock]

He hears her, distantly, and though his hands are frozen, his gaze fixed, he can respond, the words deep and fervent.

I do not leave my companions.

Unbidden, echoes of old friends fill his mind, some happy, some lost, some dead, most he'll probably never see again regardless. Silent explosions and blood staining his hands and best friends running away, farther than he can reach, just the freshest wounds, never closing, forever festering, turning his thoughts dark and red

His voice breaks when he speaks to the Master once more, both with his voice and his turbulent mind.

"I can't lose you as well...not again..."

[dreams_in_red]

His words and those echoes are still washing over her when the Doctor speaks out loud and Lucy starts in surprise. He sounds like a lost little boy and it wants to break what heart she has (she supposes that horrid tenth regeneration would say she has none).

She takes in what he says, and reluctantly lets go of the Doctor's shoulders. She stares at the Master for a hard moment, then squares herself--good God her face hurts--puts a hand to the Master's temple alongside the Doctor's, and shouts as loudly as she can:

Will you stop acting like a bratty child! Can't you see what you're doing?

[sinister_charm]

He rages at the sudden intrusion and second voice - Lucy. It is so incredibly easy to hear the disgust, the vehemency.

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I AM DOING! YOU, OBVIOUSLY, DO NOT!

Then, almost spitefully, his thoughts slip into another language entirely, something ancient, old, elaborate. If his thoughts are going to be invaded, he'll think them in his proper language.

Really, DOCTOR? What do you plan on doing then to keep me?! I have no reason to stay. I can't. Just get out.