[It had been ten years since Kenshin had been in the middle of battle on this scar. Skirmishes with sword bearing police and local yakuza didn't quite hold a candle to what he'd been thrown into over the last week.]
[One saving grace was that the castle saw fit to keep his vow in place. If it hadn't... Well, fortunately he didn't think he would have been able to kill any of his then-enemies anyway, but just the thought that the place could have easily twisted his mind that way...]
[He would have preferred to continue avoiding the general populace as he had mostly been doing since arrival--but there was a certain... need to return to the scene--or scenes--as it were, further proof that it had actually happened.]
[He was unsure whether he was surprised to see the priest, but surprise or not, there he was, just a stone's throw away in the street.]
...
Abel...
[Ugh... he should... probably just let you be, but there's a part of him that says he should at least say something[ooc; o/ going with no honorific as per... Kenshin never
( ... )
[the priest-- no, just... a man, today-- lifts his head at the sound of his name, distracted from whatever had him preoccupied by the address.
to see Kenshin... it wasn't exactly what he had been expecting. should he? he didn't know the man well before all of this mess, but...
he can still remember what he'd done to his wife, and with clarity.
his footsteps stall - and it probably isn't possible for a man to look so small at such a height. ;( there is instant recognition and guilt in his eyes; regret. he truly hadn't wished for this to happen... at all, to her of all people.]
[For now... Kenshin had no idea who had actually hurt Tomoe. It wasn't something he sought to know while he was in the middle of the loss (because she was safe... that was all that mattered) and now... Well now, he wasn't about to blame the people who had been caught up in it even if he did know. He would always find the fault in himself for not being there to stop it, regardless. Though... you should probably keep that tidbit to yourself, Abel... >_>;]
[Kenshin just watches the man's reaction. He, of course, has no idea that the loss centered around Abel himself, and so he thinks he's only looking at possibly the worst victim of this mess, being the ringleader. He can't help but feel grateful of the side he wound up on...]
[The phrase 'are you alright' was so trivial and almost empty in a case like this... so he only moved forward silently, trying to find something that didn't sound like empty pointless words.]
[ah, Kenshin... it's almost painfully obvious how oblivious the other man is in this moment, and his chest tugs voraciously for it.
he lifts a hand to his face, rubbing at blue eyes before shaking his head.]
...Have you... seen Tomoe? [he can't imagine that he didn't go to check on her, once all of this was over -- not knowing he'd been there beforehand, during the loss at all... was Tomoe protecting him? leaving Kenshin in the dark? he doesn't know.]
[*sob* (truth be told he'd probably be acting about the same even if he did know, dude. Kenshin's... special that way >_>;)]
[His jaw tenses at the mention of his wife and he nods.]
Yes. She is alright...
[ooc; reaction log hasn't gotten past him beating on her door yet so I'm trying to be very... vague... lol... (and I doubt she'll tell him it was Abel and he isn't going to ask so... \o.O/ here's hoping I guessed right!)]
This one is rather sure you had little choice in the matter, Abel.
[Blaming the castle, here... e__e even if he's still blaming himself for letting the castle mess with his head... lawl double standard]
[Ok. Movement. Some movement is needed here. He's going to start slowly walking again--don't make him shove or drag you, that just won't look right for a little midget samurai pushing a white-haired giant around.]
he catches Kenshin's drift after a dumb second staring at him as if contemplating if he was simply leaving without a farewell (derp...); the priest falls into step beside him.]
...No. You're right.
It doesn't change what happened, regardless. Those sins were very much my own, and... I'm sorry, for what happened to Tomoe.
[Well... that's why he was walking slow! (and why are all you westerners so tall anyway? =__= as if he doesn't feel like a beansprout around other Japanese people already...)]
[He nods again.]
It's a mark of strength to be able to face something like this directly, this one commends you for that. [He isn't sure that he would be faring so well, frankly. Actually, there's a good chance he would need to be committed...]
[He gives Abel a sidelong look when he mentions Tomoe again... and he just frowns a bit himself, looking forward again.]
This one should have been with her. It is as much his fault as anyone's. He should have stopped it from happening in the first place.
[You know... other than that... whole... loss thing... And the whole... leaving her be thing... D| he was just kind of set up for failure there... BUT ITS STILL HIS FAULT or at least he'll be blaming himself for it. Since... that's... his thing where Tomoe is concerned.]
He did. This one was not particularly forward about his position. It is rather disturbing the way... his memories were altered and yet still paralleled with his past. He is only glad that he was kept in the same mindset as he is today instead of from the war...
[HA HA OH GOD WHY IS HE TALKING THIS MUCH??? *sob* probably because it's all still fresh and ugh--HE'LL JUST STOP THIS TOPIC NOW OK?]
...
He didn't entirely forget her... only the part that mattered: that she was here and alive... It was quite a shock to learn that someone with his wife's name was asking for him unprovoked across the journal...
[he'll be paling just a bit and... damn that scar just looks raw when he's on this topic, doesn't it? ><; God, he has this horrible feeling that the whole 'omg my dead wife is alive' shock is going to be the castle's personal favorite thing to reenact. ;o; god his knees... his knees can't take this man...]
[Kenshin must be looking a tad unsteady, because-- Abel is stretching a hand to lightly rest it at his shoulder for support. or perhaps it's simply sympathy. empathy...?]
...
[he doesn't even know what to say. he feels responsible for this ;( he doesn't know how to make it better, or even if he could at all, easing such a raw and visceral pain]
[He tenses just a bit from the touch, not quite expecting it, even if he saw it coming out of the corner of his eye.]
[He shifts a bit, moving to fold his arms into the sleeves of his kimono as he walked, almost physically pulling the rurouni facade into place, even if he would leave the deflective smiles for now.]
This one didn't expect to see you down here so soon... [or at all, frankly. He'll glance upwards sideways at him again.] Are you trying to make amends...?
It has... been this one's experience that little can appease the pain of those who have been directly wronged. Even if what transpired was the castles' doing, as you said, it doesn't change what happened. This one doesn't know how well the people of the town understand or accept what these sort of losses are capable of.
If they do not react well... he certainly cannot blame them because loss or not, they've been damaged by what happened--but at the same time he believes you should not blame yourself either. [He almost laughs at himself, talking in circles like this.] He supposes that his point... is to hold on to the fact that ultimately it was Cair Paradisa that caused this no matter what you find today...
[In other words: dude... while I admire the fact that you're down here doing this I don't think it's going to yield anything but emotional distress for you >__<;;;;]
this is a good man. that isn't to say Abel has missed the tells -- from simple things like his posture, to the inclusion of slips about 'war;' the loss of his wife; the scars he bears -- ones not simply physical. or maybe it's because he's lived so long around killers, he can smell one...
Kenshin isn't innocent. not quite the 'beaten dog,' either. he's somewhere... in between; closer to the former. isn't that where Abel lies? why he tried to get Tomoe to open up to her husband in the first place?
he feels guilty, talking like this -- dancing around subjects and taking advice from this man as if they're friends when he nearly killed his wife. when this loss was simply a... less violent mimicry of a part of his life. so he stops where he is.]
--I tried to kill her.
[it comes out with much less finesse than he'd been working up in his head, but it's... out.]
...I tried... to kill Tomoe. It was me.
I would have... succeeded, if someone hadn't come to save her. One... heartbeat more, and...
[One saving grace was that the castle saw fit to keep his vow in place. If it hadn't... Well, fortunately he didn't think he would have been able to kill any of his then-enemies anyway, but just the thought that the place could have easily twisted his mind that way...]
[He would have preferred to continue avoiding the general populace as he had mostly been doing since arrival--but there was a certain... need to return to the scene--or scenes--as it were, further proof that it had actually happened.]
[He was unsure whether he was surprised to see the priest, but surprise or not, there he was, just a stone's throw away in the street.]
...
Abel...
[Ugh... he should... probably just let you be, but there's a part of him that says he should at least say something[ooc; o/ going with no honorific as per... Kenshin never ( ... )
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to see Kenshin... it wasn't exactly what he had been expecting. should he? he didn't know the man well before all of this mess, but...
he can still remember what he'd done to his wife, and with clarity.
his footsteps stall - and it probably isn't possible for a man to look so small at such a height. ;( there is instant recognition and guilt in his eyes; regret. he truly hadn't wished for this to happen... at all, to her of all people.]
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[Kenshin just watches the man's reaction. He, of course, has no idea that the loss centered around Abel himself, and so he thinks he's only looking at possibly the worst victim of this mess, being the ringleader. He can't help but feel grateful of the side he wound up on...]
[The phrase 'are you alright' was so trivial and almost empty in a case like this... so he only moved forward silently, trying to find something that didn't sound like empty pointless words.]
...
This wasn't your fault.
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he lifts a hand to his face, rubbing at blue eyes before shaking his head.]
...Have you... seen Tomoe? [he can't imagine that he didn't go to check on her, once all of this was over -- not knowing he'd been there beforehand, during the loss at all... was Tomoe protecting him? leaving Kenshin in the dark? he doesn't know.]
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[His jaw tenses at the mention of his wife and he nods.]
Yes. She is alright...
[ooc; reaction log hasn't gotten past him beating on her door yet so I'm trying to be very... vague... lol... (and I doubt she'll tell him it was Abel and he isn't going to ask so... \o.O/ here's hoping I guessed right!)]
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...I'm... sorry. This is...
[very much his fault, whether you know it or not ;(]
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This one is rather sure you had little choice in the matter, Abel.
[Blaming the castle, here... e__e even if he's still blaming himself for letting the castle mess with his head... lawl double standard]
[Ok. Movement. Some movement is needed here. He's going to start slowly walking again--don't make him shove or drag you, that just won't look right for a little midget samurai pushing a white-haired giant around.]
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he catches Kenshin's drift after a dumb second staring at him as if contemplating if he was simply leaving without a farewell (derp...); the priest falls into step beside him.]
...No. You're right.
It doesn't change what happened, regardless. Those sins were very much my own, and... I'm sorry, for what happened to Tomoe.
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[He nods again.]
It's a mark of strength to be able to face something like this directly, this one commends you for that. [He isn't sure that he would be faring so well, frankly. Actually, there's a good chance he would need to be committed...]
[He gives Abel a sidelong look when he mentions Tomoe again... and he just frowns a bit himself, looking forward again.]
This one should have been with her. It is as much his fault as anyone's. He should have stopped it from happening in the first place.
[You know... other than that... whole... loss thing... And the whole... leaving her be thing... D| he was just kind of set up for failure there... BUT ITS STILL HIS FAULT or at least he'll be blaming himself for it. Since... that's... his thing where Tomoe is concerned.]
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[he watches him side-long as they walk]
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[HA HA OH GOD WHY IS HE TALKING THIS MUCH??? *sob* probably because it's all still fresh and ugh--HE'LL JUST STOP THIS TOPIC NOW OK?]
...
He didn't entirely forget her... only the part that mattered: that she was here and alive... It was quite a shock to learn that someone with his wife's name was asking for him unprovoked across the journal...
[he'll be paling just a bit and... damn that scar just looks raw when he's on this topic, doesn't it? ><; God, he has this horrible feeling that the whole 'omg my dead wife is alive' shock is going to be the castle's personal favorite thing to reenact. ;o; god his knees... his knees can't take this man...]
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...
[he doesn't even know what to say. he feels responsible for this ;( he doesn't know how to make it better, or even if he could at all, easing such a raw and visceral pain]
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[He shifts a bit, moving to fold his arms into the sleeves of his kimono as he walked, almost physically pulling the rurouni facade into place, even if he would leave the deflective smiles for now.]
This one didn't expect to see you down here so soon... [or at all, frankly. He'll glance upwards sideways at him again.] Are you trying to make amends...?
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...Mm... all I can do is offer my apologies, try to help with the repairs, if they'll let me, but...
[a small shrug of his shoulders. he isn't holding out hope many will accept what he's offering.]
I have to do... something. [or he'll lose his damn mind. more.]
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...
It has... been this one's experience that little can appease the pain of those who have been directly wronged. Even if what transpired was the castles' doing, as you said, it doesn't change what happened. This one doesn't know how well the people of the town understand or accept what these sort of losses are capable of.
If they do not react well... he certainly cannot blame them because loss or not, they've been damaged by what happened--but at the same time he believes you should not blame yourself either. [He almost laughs at himself, talking in circles like this.] He supposes that his point... is to hold on to the fact that ultimately it was Cair Paradisa that caused this no matter what you find today...
[In other words: dude... while I admire the fact that you're down here doing this I don't think it's going to yield anything but emotional distress for you >__<;;;;]
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this is a good man. that isn't to say Abel has missed the tells -- from simple things like his posture, to the inclusion of slips about 'war;' the loss of his wife; the scars he bears -- ones not simply physical. or maybe it's because he's lived so long around killers, he can smell one...
Kenshin isn't innocent. not quite the 'beaten dog,' either. he's somewhere... in between; closer to the former. isn't that where Abel lies? why he tried to get Tomoe to open up to her husband in the first place?
he feels guilty, talking like this -- dancing around subjects and taking advice from this man as if they're friends when he nearly killed his wife. when this loss was simply a... less violent mimicry of a part of his life. so he stops where he is.]
--I tried to kill her.
[it comes out with much less finesse than he'd been working up in his head, but it's... out.]
...I tried... to kill Tomoe. It was me.
I would have... succeeded, if someone hadn't come to save her. One... heartbeat more, and...
[he'd have her ( ... )
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