ταυ | [dictated ] A New Man

[demonologist]

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[demonologist]

The castle made me a chain smoker, Lorne. I think I'm still feeling the withdrawal jitters. Luckily it's only temporary.

At least you got to sit this one out.

Now, if I can just take care of the Illyria problem, perhaps I can finally catch a break from the madness that is this place.

[mysticalvender]

Wow, have you wished up one of those little patch things?

And boy, am I glad for that.

Aww come on, Wes. She's not hurting anyone here. You don't need to go all gung-ho on her.

[demonologist]

I'm tempted but trying to power through it if at all possible.

[There's a silence where Wes processes what Lorne is saying.]

If I'm all gung-ho on her it's because Illyria's an amazing being and doesn't deserve to be trapped here, the majority of her power stripped from her in such a cruel fashion. Imagine if your ability to sing and read people was taken from you.

[mysticalvender]

It's not giving up if you ask for help you know. [God you people and your powering through alone]

Which is why you should... [no, wait, what?] Be kind, rewind?

[demonologist]

I know that you're probably thinking that I'm out of my mind, and perhaps I am a little. But you'd be the first to tell me that love isn't often a rational thing.

[mysticalvender]

But but...wait. You're in love with Blue now?

[Long pause] Wes, I tell you this as a dear friend...I think you have a womanising problem.

[demonologist]

Why wouldn't I be? She's the most remarkable creature I've ever met. She inspires devotion. Quite frankly I'm surprised more of us haven't fallen for her.

[A stunned sort of pause.]

I don't have a womanising problem. Whatever gave you that idea?

[mysticalvender]

...You mean besides the fact she'd probably rip our heads off if we even tried?

Do you want me to list the ladies you've fawned over since you got here? Do you really? It's not pretty, Wes.

[demonologist]

Fawn?! I don't fawn, thank you very much. I'm not a gazelle.

[mysticalvender]

Okay, how about canoodle. Can I use canoodle?

[demonologist]

You give me far too much credit, Lorne. Some of those canoodlings were castle-induced. I even kissed Spike during Valentine's for heaven's sake.

[mysticalvender]

...

Okay. We really need a talk about what falls under the boundaries of TMI.

[demonologist]

My point was that I'm not actively pursuing a bevy of women, despite what you may think.

[mysticalvender]

But don't you think Illaryia is a liiiiitle out of your league?

[demonologist]

Of course she is. Which is why I count myself an extremely fortunate man.

[mysticalvender]

Oh honey, you really have gone cuckoo for coca puffs, haven't you?