47 -- Birds

[so_catless]

[her journal rests open, waiting for her. She'd thought about filtering to anyone who had spoken to her during her strange loss and apologizing; she'd considered talking to Mat about winning her in the auction. ...But, she finally decides that she would rather just hope that everyone has forgotten about all of that, and doesn't say anything. That

Comments

[saikyou_saiaku]

[y halo, have someone looking up from her own journal to address Sakaki directly] I think partridges are to be eaten, actually.

Anyway...there's plenty of birds in here as it is.

1/2

[saikyou_saiaku]

[this is...nice. No, "nice" doesn't begin to cover just what she's experiencing right now. When Sakaki bends over, her posture visibly relaxes, as if in assent...

until it dawns on her, after what feels like minutes but was probably much less time in reality,

just

what

they

are

doing]

2/2

[saikyou_saiaku]

[FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF]

[so_catless]

[she is lost until the spell suddenly breaks, finally spilling her brain back into her head. There is a long hesitation--which only makes the embarrassment worse--as she processes the fact that this is real. This really happened. They really just...

...she recoils then, flying back from Shizuru as if she was a snake or something!]

[saikyou_saiaku]

[thanks so much, girl, make her relive the most traumatic moment of her (previous) life, this is simply wonderful

don't mind if she continues gaping in stunned silence, because contemplating the meaning of her existence is -the- thing to do right now...were she still possessing the cognitive functions for such a feat]

[so_catless]

[yeah, gaping in silence seems to be the thing to do right now, because forming words seems to be the very last thing she's capable of managing right now.]

[saikyou_saiaku]

[the appeal of dying is rising slowly yet steadily in her mind. Where's a convenient hole to swallow one up when it's most needed?]

[so_catless]

[she'd love one of those right about now, taking a step or two backward]

I-- I'm sorry...

[saikyou_saiaku]

[that snaps her back faster than anything -- while her voice is startlingly steady, there's a rare, brittle edge to it which hints at her fragile emotional state right now]

No, I should be the one to apologize...I initiated it, after all.

[so_catless]

[she hears that strange tension, and it makes her feel worse]

It... must have been the Castle...

[not that the thought really seems to be helping]

[saikyou_saiaku]

[while she agrees with that assessment, knowing it's the only explanation for her earlier behaviour, such an idea doesn't cheer her up any, either]

Even if it was, I still was out of line.

[so_catless]

It...It's okay.

[ugh, she feels like she should apologize again. Some kind of never-ending loop of apology and weirdness]

[saikyou_saiaku]

[there is a quiet, bitter little thought whispering at the back of her mind -- "you don't deserve this" -- she knows it definitely isn't okay]

I'm sorry... [and just like that time, there are no other words she can think of to say in such a situation]