(Untitled)

[paracelsus_ftw]

I'M JUDGING WHAT?!

You guys outta yer fucking minds? How the hell do I fit a wig 'round this body? Who in God's name will bang my --

AUDITIONS FOR COURT HAMMER HOLDER : OPEN

Requirement.

[ooc: in which the weasel got selected to judge the Greed case. Mind the link! Work-safe, but perhaps unethical.]

Comments

[lyra_of_dust]

Umm... Why's she only dressed in her undergaments? Although I could bang the gavel, if you'd like.

[paracelsus_ftw]

...come back in ten breast augmentations.

[lyra_of_dust]

... That's a bit crude, you know. And you could always get a smaller gavel.

[paracelsus_ftw]

Oh, shut it.

[by_tea]

Ohhhhh... Lenny wanted to try out.

[paracelsus_ftw]

Ain't that drunk no more.

[by_tea]

Eyes are smaller, though~!

[paracelsus_ftw]

Not that small either.

[browning_baby]

.... and just where would she be holding the hammer?

[paracelsus_ftw]

Hehe. Heh. Hehhehehe.

[browning_baby]

.... you're not a weasel. You're a pig.

[paracelsus_ftw]

Ma'am, I ain't responsible for your wild imagination there.

[drjan_itor]

I'll be the judge. I'm no bikini model, but I'm qualified.

[paracelsus_ftw]

Um.

You can't judge, stooge, you're the... um. What's the politically correct for fucking-dumbass-who-wastes-valuable-air?

[drjan_itor]

You know nothing. I was a judicial official of the State back in '89.

[paracelsus_ftw]

And I'm the Queen o' England, because we all know what she was bangin' once hubby-dear croaked.

[toonurturing]

Are mine big enough?

[paracelsus_ftw]

You'd drop my wee hammer.

[toonurturing]

I'm not that clumsy.