(no subject)
So them stooges be whinin' there ain't no laws in this place.
Well, yenno what, kids? I'ma be a dear and puttin' out, free o' charge. Ain't no one saying Uncle Paulie slacks on the job, kay?
OFFICIAL GUIDE OF CITY LAWS
1. No UFHOs [Unidentified Flying Whores] on the market. Same for unidentified gender. What the hell, guy goes out for business, he ain't up for a date with PETA.
2. Never mix cheap scotch with yer Vermut. You do that? BAM. Five years in the slammer. Fuckin' waste o' good liquor.
3. No wearing your dead mother's clothing or vital organs to the first date. You wanna give a guy some space b'fore he meets the family.
4. No bitchin' to Paulie. Paulie, like good wine, perfects with time and leisure. Also like a good wine, he needs the occasional sippin', so if you're in that particular industry, why don'tcha gimme a call, and we can arrange for - anyways.
5. No broccoli with your turnips. That shit's just wrong. In fact, no broccoli on the premise, period. What the hell's wrong with transfats and cholesterol, anyway?!
6. No wearin' a cooler coat than Paulie's. You do that, I slap me a bitch. Oh, and prison fo' life. YOU GOT THAT, WARDEN? MY COAT > EVERYONE ELSE.
7. S'prised you folks can count this far.
So whaddya stooges think o' my Constitution?