Feeling A Little Lost, Helpless, Hopeless,Confused; And Kind Of Like A Bad Mom.

[paperbagqueen]

Now, logically I know I'm a good mom. I often get complements at how well behaved my children are, and how happy they seem.  When people come over to our house, they always comment on how organized everything is, and how calm things are.  We're not constantly rushing around ten minutes late in the mornings, and my husband and I make a concious

Comments

[stuffy34]

*huggles*

Everything we've read and been told says that the earlier autism is diagnosed and intervention is started the better the outcome usually is.

Very true. The earlier you can work with Darren and help him, the better the outcome will be.

I know that I didn't cause this. I didn't give my son autism, but I still feel guilty.

My dear, that is a normal reaction to have. Don't feel you are guilty because your son has autism.

Where do I go? Who do I talk to? What questions do I ask? How do I help him understand this?

There are plenty of resources out there to help parents with autistic children. If you have any community centres around you, I'm sure there are programs and workshops there to guide you and Matt in how to work with Darren.

I know it's frustrating now, but when all your hard work and efforts pay off, you will feel much better. Keep working with your son, and eventually he will respond :)

*huggles and snuggles* I'm here for you darlin' :)

[paperbagqueen]

Thanks hun! We've been doing the best we can, for the week we've known. I've got some resources, and book names and stuff, so tomorrow, we're gonna go to the bookstore and see what they have. It's just so frustrarting, ya know? The most frustrating part is that it's hard to get people to understand the concept of "mild autism" aka Aperger's Syndrome. Automatically I get the response of, "it's mild, so at least it's not so bad

[paperbagqueen]

You're one of those people that always makes me feel better, Brina! Just looking at your icon makes me feel better! *giggle

[jessmary]

You have gone through so much bad situations and yet you are a caring parent and a good person. Nobody is perfect, we all have our doubts our fears. Have faith, that's all we have in the end. IF you believe in God... pray, he will never leave you.

I will keep you and your family in your prayer and don't let anything keep you down. It's not easy but you have to believe there will be better days. :)

BTW thanks for adding me. *hugs*

[paperbagqueen]

Thanks hun! I do believe in God and I've been looking to him a lot lately for answers of what to do next, and how to handle things. It's even learning how to handle things like his tantrums. They're not "normal" toddler tantrums, so the typical way of handling them doesn't exactly work. I've been looking to God and praying for guidance in handling those.

I'm starting to think about how we're supposed to explain to Hannah (3.5) about her brother's disability. I guess tht's another hurdle that we'll cross when we get to the point where she needs/wants to know.

Thanks for the encouragement You're welcome! *hugs*

[a_boleyn1230]

Oh Erin, I'm so sorry to hear this! I simply can't imagine how you must feel. Have you tried searching the web for a forum for parents of autistic children? That could provide you with support and some answers.
You should not consider yourself a bad mom, or anything less than an outstanding mom, ever!
My younger brother is severly mentally handicapped (24, functions at the level of a 9 month old) and I can tell you, you can't control what other people say or how they react. Idiots are out there. All you can do is keep your head up and teach Darren to do the same. Please keep us updated!

[paperbagqueen]

Bobo! *tacklehug* I've had some time to do some searching and have found a couple places that I'm spending a bit of time at and getting to know people. It seems like everyone has the same thing in common; there are so many unknowns about this disorder, as far as diagnosis goes. No matter where you child is on the spectrum right now, there is always the risk of them either getting better or getting worse. That's scary for me. He's on the mild end now, and he can be frustrating enough some days, just dealing with the abilities he does have, as well as the ones that he doesn't. He wants to do things, and he knows what he wants to communicate to you, but he can't do it and that gets frustrating for him. It's hard for me to see him getting so frustrated when he can't make people understand him, or express himself; and knowing that there is only so much I can do at this point. Right now, I can only go off the knowledge I have, while I'm learning more. I really wish I alreadyknew more.

[a_boleyn1230]

I just remembered that my mother's friend has a grandson who was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. It's one of the milder forms, and they have those communication issues with him. But apparently, like a lot of children with autism, he loves animals and seems to bond with them instead of people. It's forming those connections that is hard for him. Your family is in my thoughts!!

[paperbagqueen]

Well, that explains why D is *so* attached to our dogs! lol That boy has always loved the dogs. He likes the cat too, but the dogs are his preferred animals.

[wimseynotes]

Hugs and love and support and a pm to follow.