Team Brendon: All is Fair in Love and War

[danimpa]

Title: Something Different That Interrupts
Team: Brendon
Prompt: Alls Fair In Love And War
Rating: PG
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon, some Brendon/Audrey
Summary: Its the start of the Junior year, and Brendon's got his life plans set. Right? Wrong.
Warnings: Swearing
Word count: 4,039
Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of people, bands, copyrighted brands or

Comments

[justsomehippie]

this story was interesting and i really liked the premise for it, but i think it ended up being just 'okay.' i think if you had drawn it out a little bit, embelished it here, added more character interaction there, it would have been a much more believable story. but as it is, it just kind of came off as... fake.

i think that the writing was pretty good, but at the length it is, it just sort of came across as rushed and kind of badly written. :[

[dottyasrabbits]

So I think the storyline was good. It started off okay, but you lost it somewhere in the middle.

It felt rushed, and a bit elementary.

I feel like if it was longer and there was more emphasis on what Brendon was going through, then it would have been a bit more believable.

Also, the formatting made it so hard to read.

[xbeax]

Formatting was hard to read through, and it was too short. I think you needed to elaborate more?