fill: untitled Toews/Kane (plus a pun about fishbowls and fisheye lenses) [1/2]
anonymous
June 8 2010, 19:33:09 UTC
...this is totally tomorrow, right. Um, I was originally going to fill this under Five Things format but it completely ran away with me. Rough and unedited like whoa.
::
They tumbled onto the mattress in a heap of tangled legs and grasping hands. Suit jackets, cufflinks, shirts and ties had been discarded on the floor; Patrick’s underwear was caught around his left ankle, Jonathan’s trousers were open and pushed halfway off his hips.
“How do you want it tonight?” Jonathan asked, his words muffled against Patrick’s skin.
“Naked, first of all.” Patrick sat back and made quick work of removing Jonathan’s pants and socks, then stretched out along his right side. “There, now move over a bit.”
Jonathan scooted back to the center of the bed, propping himself on his side with one arm and pulling Patrick flush against him with the other. “This okay?”
“Yeah,” Patrick muttered against Jonathan’s lips. “You don’t want to-”
“Nah, tired. Game tomorrow.”
“Oh, well, if you’re too tired for this I’ll just--oh.Jonathan grinned. “You like that
( ... )
fill: untitled Toews/Kane (plus a pun about fishbowls and fisheye lenses) [2/2]
anonymous
June 8 2010, 19:34:27 UTC
Patrick quickly cleaned himself off, then dropped washcloth off the side of the bed and rolled over to study his bedmate, who’d collapsed headlong into the pillows. “You’re going to have a pretty wicked bruise in the morning,” he mused, prodding at a darkening patch just under Jonathan’s ribs
( ... )
Re: fill: untitled Toews/Kane (plus a pun about fishbowls and fisheye lenses) [2/2]
anonymous
June 8 2010, 23:51:51 UTC
Oh! This is awesome, but it's SO not complete, right? Please? :D
Sometimes I want to beg for sequels because I am greedy and just want more of something I've already gotten a taste of, but this just reads like two parts of perfect set-up, and I feel like there is just a whole lot of amazing story here, just waiting for you to run away with it! Not that it isn't awesome all on its own, but it's such a perfect set-up for more!
Re: fill: untitled Toews/Kane (plus a pun about fishbowls and fisheye lenses) [2/2]
anonymous
June 9 2010, 00:02:06 UTC
Ah, sorry that it didn't feel complete. Like I said, I started this prompt as a Five Things fic (this actually being part 4) only to have it go way longer than I thought was appropriate for this meme. if you like I'll throw it all together when I post it to 2mins.
Re: fill: untitled Toews/Kane (plus a pun about fishbowls and fisheye lenses) [2/2]
anonymous
June 12 2010, 22:21:40 UTC
Sorry it took a while to get back to this comment. I wanted to let you know that it DID feel complete - I wasn't complaining at all! I just meant that it also felt like it could continue without feeling like the rest of the story was tacked-on.
Anyway, I hope you do continue, I just wanted to make sure that you didn't take my comment as criticism, it wasn't meant as such. (The opposite, actually!!!)
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::
They tumbled onto the mattress in a heap of tangled legs and grasping hands. Suit jackets, cufflinks, shirts and ties had been discarded on the floor; Patrick’s underwear was caught around his left ankle, Jonathan’s trousers were open and pushed halfway off his hips.
“How do you want it tonight?” Jonathan asked, his words muffled against Patrick’s skin.
“Naked, first of all.” Patrick sat back and made quick work of removing Jonathan’s pants and socks, then stretched out along his right side. “There, now move over a bit.”
Jonathan scooted back to the center of the bed, propping himself on his side with one arm and pulling Patrick flush against him with the other. “This okay?”
“Yeah,” Patrick muttered against Jonathan’s lips. “You don’t want to-”
“Nah, tired. Game tomorrow.”
“Oh, well, if you’re too tired for this I’ll just--oh.Jonathan grinned. “You like that ( ... )
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I loved the banter between the boys at the beginning, it was great. :)
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Sometimes I want to beg for sequels because I am greedy and just want more of something I've already gotten a taste of, but this just reads like two parts of perfect set-up, and I feel like there is just a whole lot of amazing story here, just waiting for you to run away with it! Not that it isn't awesome all on its own, but it's such a perfect set-up for more!
Reply
Reply
Anyway, I hope you do continue, I just wanted to make sure that you didn't take my comment as criticism, it wasn't meant as such. (The opposite, actually!!!)
Reply
this was awesome.
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