CANDOR's first lines, through the years

[pambachorz]

Today my editor is supposed to be dropping revisions in the mail for me to get cranking on. So I thought it was a good time to do something fun--here are some of the first lines that CANDOR has had since its birth (as you can see, I monkeyed with the first few chapters a LOT... too, too much in fact):

Thunk-thump. Push. Thunk-thump. Glide. (very

Comments

[sarahmaclean]

this is SO COOL! It makes me want to read CANDOR so much more (and I already wanted to pretty badly!)

The first line of THE SEASON has been the same since the very beginning. It was the first line I committed on paper. BUT...the first line of my current book has been shape shifting. So we'll see where it comes out!

[pambachorz]

Thanks! I can't wait to see that first line of THE SEASON... I'm in arcswap line, I believe...

[anywherebeyond]

Same with Sarah- my first line for Shadowed Summer was the first one I wrote, and it remains the same as it goes to publication:

Nothing ever happened in Ondine, not even the summer Elijah Landry disappeared.

However, the Jane Doe first line has changed a lot, since originally it was a light book in verse, and it is now a dark book in prose. :D

[pambachorz]

Great first line, I wouldn't want to monkey with it either!

[fabulousfrock]

My original first line for Magic Under Glass was the rather wordy:

Scarlet and green are the colors of my homeland; the colors out the window of the little house where I spent my first birthday and my fifteenth, and every birthday in-between.

Then, for awhile it was:

If I had been home, it would have been my wedding day.

Briefly, as I took it in a new direction, it was:

“Suck in your breath!”

Finally (for now?):

The audience didn’t understand a word we sang.

It was fun to read yours. Amazing how a book can evolve!

[pambachorz]

These are fun! I am quite intrigued. Singing instead of a wedding day, hmmmmm....

[pambachorz]

Wow, talk about a big difference between the 1st and last ones! I love the new first line because my mother always said it to me after I got car sick! LOL. That and "have a tic tac", so now I can't stand the flavor of spearmint.

Love your new baby's first line too. It's so visual.

Congratulations

[anonymous]

Hi. It's Lee. Remember me? Read your Candor story before it gained wider recognition (as it should).

I just sold a YA that will be out in fall '09. I'm at sealy38.livejournal.com

Re: Congratulations

[pambachorz]

Hey Lee great to hear from you! Thanks for the congrats AND congrats right back at you! It's so weird that you, LK and I all have YAs coming out in Fall '09. I think I actually read the first few chapters of your story when I was in the Garrett and I LOVED it.

Re:opening lines

[sealy38]

Sorry I think I hijacked your thread by accident, but here is a reply that puts it back in line.

The first lines of that book you did read part of were:There are a couple of places to start my story. Both of them lead to the same end.
If I start when the monster first arrived, that will be a little scary. If I start when my mother left, that will be kind of scary too, but maybe that makes the most sense. None of the rest would have happened if she’d stayed.

Now: Something's wrong. It's not a heart-grabbing noise like when somebody jiggles the door to see if it's locked. Not a bitter smell like the electrical short we had last month when all the breakers popped. It's something in the air, something like a ghost making its way through the room. It can't be Monster, not after last night.

I love how stories evolve.

Re: opening lines

[pambachorz]

I like the original line a lot but the new one grabs me even more!