One of my younger brothers had three roommates in his freshman year in college. NONE of the three had ever done their own laundry. Ever. They literally did not know how to operate washing machines. That... that hurts me. How do kids even get to college without picking up any basic life skills like that?
by having no chores at home and no job. I really don't think the parents are doing them any favors.
I'm clearly the other end of the spectrum though, since I insist that my 3 year old help clear the table and help empty the dishwasher. *She* insists on helping me fold laundry and clean.
See, that's great, and ultimately the best long term strategy for anyone who doesn't want their kids to live with them until they're 30. Someday when she leaves home, she'll actually be able to take care of herself and not HAVE to come running back to you because she can't figure out how to turn the dishwasher on.
I am not entirely joking when I say I had a kid so that someday I'll have someone to do dishes for me.
Would be nice if more people understood that they're supposed to be raising children TO adults, eh? I feel like I would be failing her if I didn't give her every possible tool for taking care of herself. It's perfectly possible to have a pleasant childhood and still prepare for adulthood.
I know perfectly well that my child-rearing methods could be considered borderline neglect these days. Did you know I let my 10 month old play in the sandbox BY HIMSELF while I walk around the yard cleaning up dog poop?! Sometimes I'm as much as 30 feet away from him! Of course, I look at him every 15 seconds or so to see if he's managed to choke on an acorn. Other than that, how much trouble can he really get into that I can't save him from with a 30 foot sprint? A tree might fall on him? An asteroid? He might accidentally dig a pit big enough to fall into and break his neck?
Will be interesting to see if I manage to still walk this walk once they're older and doing stuff outside of my control, or at least outside of my sight.
I don't think it's that parents think the kids are too stupid. More like they think they are doing their kids a favor by taking care of them instead of teaching them to care for themselves. Perhaps some of it is perfectionism on the part of the parent. It really is easier to just do it yourself than to either teach/make them do it right or redo it after they've screwed it up.
I'm a bit torn on this topic. Looking back at older generations, the norm was to stay home till you got married. Oftentimes even after you got married you stayed at home with your parents and they helped raise the grandkids. Sometimes you'd end up with 4 generations of the family living in the same house. My grandparents had 7 kids so they would have help on the farm
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One of my younger brothers had three roommates in his freshman year in college. NONE of the three had ever done their own laundry. Ever. They literally did not know how to operate washing machines. That... that hurts me. How do kids even get to college without picking up any basic life skills like that?
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I'm clearly the other end of the spectrum though, since I insist that my 3 year old help clear the table and help empty the dishwasher. *She* insists on helping me fold laundry and clean.
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I am not entirely joking when I say I had a kid so that someday I'll have someone to do dishes for me.
Reply
I know perfectly well that my child-rearing methods could be considered borderline neglect these days. Did you know I let my 10 month old play in the sandbox BY HIMSELF while I walk around the yard cleaning up dog poop?! Sometimes I'm as much as 30 feet away from him! Of course, I look at him every 15 seconds or so to see if he's managed to choke on an acorn. Other than that, how much trouble can he really get into that I can't save him from with a 30 foot sprint? A tree might fall on him? An asteroid? He might accidentally dig a pit big enough to fall into and break his neck?
Will be interesting to see if I manage to still walk this walk once they're older and doing stuff outside of my control, or at least outside of my sight.
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I was married at 20 and we bought our first house at 23.
"Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy." - Heinlein.
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