The pitfall of missing context.

[p_m_cryan]

Our grins are rueful rictuses.

"At least it's a friendly hostility

Comments

[kittenboo]

I have to ask because it is confusing me, is there a mistake in the last line or am I just not getting it?

As to the piece, I've been with my partner 20 years, I totally get what you're saying :)

[p_m_cryan]

I've been musing over this, and it's a valuable bit of concrit. That last line was actually originally the second line of the piece in the first draft, and was written before the "rueful rictuses" opening.

I don't know that it's actually a mistake, as it were, because it's important that I set the mood that our lives are not easy right now. But now that some time has gone by since I wrote it, I can see that the line doesn't quite belong with the rest of it.

Too late to edit it out, now that the poll's up. Oh well, if it costs me the vote, Life goes on.

Thank you, kittenboo. it's always good to make me think.

[kittenboo]

I'm sorry I don't think I got my idea across at all. I did not mean the sentence should not be there, the sentence and the point of it works well, and belongs in the piece wherever you put it. What I meant was the wording of the sentence, it just feels so awkward to me to say "trying to not to shatter".

That's all I was referring to. I actually do like your piece, and the point you are trying to make.

[p_m_cryan]

It's still a valid and valuable bit of concrit. No worries.

[shay_writes]

Nicely done!

[p_m_cryan]

Thsnk you!

[i_will_not_say]

This was well done!

[p_m_cryan]

Thank you!

[alycewilson]

I got the Stalingrad quote but not the other two.

When you say "partner" here, do you mean a romantic partner or business partner? I only ask because you talk very little about your private life, so I didn't know where you stood, relationship-wise.

[p_m_cryan]

Yes, I figured many know enough Python that they'd get the Stalingrad reference. I wondered in my first draft whether to explain all the references, but I was afraid it would make the piece too long, and I've learned to be short and punchy in early rounds of Idol.

I saw you picked up from my intro entry that my partner=both romantic and business. I do tend to keep very personal stuff close to the vest online.

[alycewilson]

Of course, it doesn't help that 90 percent of the time I'm reading things online these days, KFP is bouncing on or near me and chattering a million miles a minute. I'm sure I miss a lot!

[bleodswean]

I relate to this in every possible way. Yes. And great idea for responding to the topic. Nice.

[p_m_cryan]

I'm glad you liked it!