dustandroses - powerful artwork. The choice of images, the way they're put together, the balance of colour and black and white creates a very evocative picture of the complicated relationship amongst the characters.
cmk418 - Vern's voice comes across really strongly here. You show his observant mind putting together the scenario unfolding in front of him, one he wants/needs to put a stop to but is unsure how to go about it...until an idea springs forth. I like how even though the situation seems out of his control he never loses his focus regarding what he will and will not accept from Beecher. It has this obsessive/possessive quality to it. Great job!
marythefan (marylex) - I really like the lyrical quality to this fic, the rambling of Ryan's brain going over and over his situation, his expectations of those around him (and of himself), the round and round that remains constant. I like his inner struggle here as he tries to compartmentalize everything and the way certain things are repeated as if his mind is trying to make certain connections stick.
( ... )
I think the obsessive/possessive quality sums up Vern's relationship with Beecher very well. I'm glad you think I was able to capture Vern's voice well - I don't write him often, but I always enjoy it when it do. Thanks so much for the nice comments.
MarytheFan: I know I say this every time I comment on one of your fic, but damn, I love the way you write - the way your mind works. What a brilliant story. And I'm awestruck at how well you read my intent and the way you interpreted what I was thinking. It's like you read my fucking mind.
I tried writing this comment last night, but I'm glad LJ was being a bitch and wouldn't let me post, because it gave me a chance to read it again, and find even more things to talk about.
To start with, I love the repeated themes, the stream of consciousness feeling of the work. It really felt like the way I imagine Ryan's mind would run in a situation like this: stuck in the hole, detoxing and wounded from the beatings he'd suffered at the hands of the hacks.
The whole Wonders of the World idea, starting with the Viewfinder and the reels Ryan'd stolen, and how he only had the one left, but it was the one that counted:
a motherfucking force of nature sliding in between things with deep roots and built really fucking bigWow. I love that
( ... )
I love this drabble. I love how you focused on Vern, and the way he sees Beecher sliding away from him, and is determined to get him back. Not that Vern wants to keep him, but it's important to him that Beecher be the one being abandoned in the end. You've captured the workings of Vern's mind very well. Great job.
dustandroses: You know how much I love these two together and I gotta say how much I love this artwork. Every scence you picked, sizing, which to make more detailed, really works so well! Love just the color only on the image of Ryan and his arm around Toby. Simply beautiful! :)
cmk418: Vern's mind is a scarry place and how you wrote just a piece of it comes out powerfully. How much he loves to be in control and own Toby till he tires of him. Humiliations glore! He so loves playing poor Toby like a puppet. Great job! :)
marythefan: You have captured Ryan's voice and state of mind very well in this fiction! Love the notion of him repeating himself like hes trying to keep his mind away from Toby. He keeps his distance yet doesn't want to let go of Toby. There are too many lines in your story that I love, so im just gonna say that I enjoyed this fiction very much. Thank ya! :)
dustandroses - So raw and intense, the colors contrasting with the grays, the different versions of Ryan, looking at Toby. Then that one ominous picture of Vern, towering over everything. Awesome snapshot of that weird triangle between Vern, Toby, and Ryan.
cmk418 - Man, you scare me when you write Vern. You have such a handle on his voice. This one made me go aiiiiiii! Toby!
marythefan - I'm groping for words and I'm struggling to come up with a way of saying just how amazing this story is. My vocabulary is inadequate. The intensity is nearly unbearable to begin with, but you never let up, you just drive on through, full throttle. I didn't have a single moment to catch my breath - it was Ryan, raw and real and smart and fucked up. And Beecher through his eyes is some kind of Escher drawing, forever twisting around himself until SNAP! he become something else.
Comments 10
cmk418 - Vern's voice comes across really strongly here. You show his observant mind putting together the scenario unfolding in front of him, one he wants/needs to put a stop to but is unsure how to go about it...until an idea springs forth. I like how even though the situation seems out of his control he never loses his focus regarding what he will and will not accept from Beecher. It has this obsessive/possessive quality to it. Great job!
marythefan (marylex) - I really like the lyrical quality to this fic, the rambling of Ryan's brain going over and over his situation, his expectations of those around him (and of himself), the round and round that remains constant. I like his inner struggle here as he tries to compartmentalize everything and the way certain things are repeated as if his mind is trying to make certain connections stick. ( ... )
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I tried writing this comment last night, but I'm glad LJ was being a bitch and wouldn't let me post, because it gave me a chance to read it again, and find even more things to talk about.
To start with, I love the repeated themes, the stream of consciousness feeling of the work. It really felt like the way I imagine Ryan's mind would run in a situation like this: stuck in the hole, detoxing and wounded from the beatings he'd suffered at the hands of the hacks.
The whole Wonders of the World idea, starting with the Viewfinder and the reels Ryan'd stolen, and how he only had the one left, but it was the one that counted:
a motherfucking force of nature sliding in between things with deep roots and built really fucking bigWow. I love that ( ... )
Reply
I love this drabble. I love how you focused on Vern, and the way he sees Beecher sliding away from him, and is determined to get him back. Not that Vern wants to keep him, but it's important to him that Beecher be the one being abandoned in the end. You've captured the workings of Vern's mind very well. Great job.
Reply
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cmk418: Vern's mind is a scarry place and how you wrote just a piece of it comes out powerfully. How much he loves to be in control and own Toby till he tires of him. Humiliations glore! He so loves playing poor Toby like a puppet. Great job! :)
marythefan: You have captured Ryan's voice and state of mind very well in this fiction! Love the notion of him repeating himself like hes trying to keep his mind away from Toby. He keeps his distance yet doesn't want to let go of Toby. There are too many lines in your story that I love, so im just gonna say that I enjoyed this fiction very much. Thank ya! :)
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cmk418 - Man, you scare me when you write Vern. You have such a handle on his voice. This one made me go aiiiiiii! Toby!
marythefan - I'm groping for words and I'm struggling to come up with a way of saying just how amazing this story is. My vocabulary is inadequate. The intensity is nearly unbearable to begin with, but you never let up, you just drive on through, full throttle. I didn't have a single moment to catch my breath - it was Ryan, raw and real and smart and fucked up. And Beecher through his eyes is some kind of Escher drawing, forever twisting around himself until SNAP! he become something else.
This is an amazing piece of work.
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Thanks so much for reading!
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