Comments | oxoniensis: Porn Battle VII (The Seven Deadly Sins)

oxoniensis

Porn Battle VII (The Seven Deadly Sins) - entry post 2

Jan 29, 2009 23:43

We're just four days into the Battle, and I don't think one post will big enough for all the pornlets, so I'm opening a second one. All new pornlets to go here, please.

( copy of the battle rules )

challenge: porn battle, challenge

Leave a comment

Back to all threads

Pieces, broken and reforged, Veronica Mars, Logan/Veronica, break black_eyedgirl January 31 2009, 03:26:00 UTC

Every time, he expects to find her different. When she shimmies her hips loose of the denim skirt, and peels the t-shirt over her head, he’s surprised to see the same slight curves, the same dips and freckles. Every time, he expects to see less of her.

Because he has seen her like that. A Veronica-shaped shell, covering every part of her she won’t let him see. The essential she, undiminished but unquestionably not there with him.

She sits atop him, and it does nothing to dispel the illusion of lightness. She’s a blur, this girl - a slide from Roni who was soft and easy-swayed, to Veronica who does not bend but might break.

He wants to hold her cracks together, though it tears at his hands, until he imagines he’s trailing his blood over her small breasts, and down to her navel. Into the hollows behind her knees. Until he imagines shattering her. She would be fine, the Veronica-spirit, laughter and barbs, floating into some other place. (She might be happy there.) He is the one who would be left with only sharp pieces, dragging ( ... )

Re: Pieces, broken and reforged, Veronica Mars, Logan/Veronica, break shoshannagold January 31 2009, 04:16:24 UTC

Oh, this is lovely. You capture the relationship between them so well, all of those jagged edges that brought them together as much as they drove them apart.

Re: Pieces, broken and reforged, Veronica Mars, Logan/Veronica, break black_eyedgirl February 3 2009, 00:07:38 UTC

:) I just saw S3 for the first time, so I really wanted to write them. Glad they felt okay!

Re: Pieces, broken and reforged, Veronica Mars, Logan/Veronica, break greenapricot January 31 2009, 20:14:23 UTC

Wow. This is gorgeous.

Re: Pieces, broken and reforged, Veronica Mars, Logan/Veronica, break black_eyedgirl February 3 2009, 00:08:04 UTC

Thank you!

Re: Pieces, broken and reforged, Veronica Mars, Logan/Veronica, break vanessagalore February 1 2009, 03:55:15 UTC

This was quite well done. I really liked the idea of her 'finding him sharp to the touch', and the general use of physical cracks and breaking in the piece.

Re: Pieces, broken and reforged, Veronica Mars, Logan/Veronica, break black_eyedgirl February 3 2009, 00:08:38 UTC

Thank you, I enjoyed playing with the imagery :)

Re: Pieces, broken and reforged, Veronica Mars, Logan/Veronica, break bluegreensmoke February 1 2009, 16:31:06 UTC

Really enjoyed this!

Re: Pieces, broken and reforged, Veronica Mars, Logan/Veronica, break black_eyedgirl February 3 2009, 00:20:36 UTC

Thank you!

Re: Pieces, broken and reforged, Veronica Mars, Logan/Veronica, break ciaan February 2 2009, 04:02:29 UTC

That was wonderful. It kinda made me tear up and filled me with love.

Re: Pieces, broken and reforged, Veronica Mars, Logan/Veronica, break black_eyedgirl February 3 2009, 00:22:06 UTC

Aww, thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed!

Re: Pieces, broken and reforged, Veronica Mars, Logan/Veronica, break afrocurl February 2 2009, 16:18:47 UTC

Ive missed seeing these two in a place where it's all about being broken and found, but this works so well to get at their myriad issues.

Re: Pieces, broken and reforged, Veronica Mars, Logan/Veronica, break black_eyedgirl February 3 2009, 00:22:48 UTC

:) I've just watched S3, so they're kind of in my head being angsty at the moment. I'm glad you liked, thank you!

Re: Pieces, broken and reforged, Veronica Mars, Logan/Veronica, break mesoterica February 11 2009, 00:09:51 UTC

Jesus, this is amazing. Especially this: He has never been sure whether to feel guilty for loving her more now, knowing what fire remade the parts. and how it got under my skin in just the best possible way. Seriously, fantastic work.

Re: Pieces, broken and reforged, Veronica Mars, Logan/Veronica, break black_eyedgirl February 17 2009, 20:52:22 UTC

:) Thank you - it was my first go at VM writing, so I'm glad it worked okay!

Re: Pieces, broken and reforged, Veronica Mars, Logan/Veronica, break manicmarauder88 March 2 2009, 06:47:59 UTC

It’s just not enough. Less than everything, so not enough for him.

I love everything about this line. It's just so, so perfect.

Fantastic.

Back to all threads