I had enough energy last night to finish Chapter 34 and
post it, but not enough to tell the world that I had done so. So those of you who care have probably read it already, but I wanted to mention it here anyway, for completeness sake
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Comments 7
You accomplished many of your intentions here, I think. Your interpretation of canonical material is, as usual, spot on - both reminding your reader of what is in the game and offering fresh insight into the meaning of incidents. It is, to my mind, one of the finest chapters in the work. So there!!
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I was really worried that just writing up canon was going to be dull, for myself and for the reader, but actually I'm rather enjoying doing it. It's fun to imagine events from Auron's point of view.
Thank you for the review. I think half the reason I chose Auron as my subject is for the sheer pleasure of writing from the POV of a character who can say lines like the one you called out!
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I am writing about the coeurl, Nepetu, and am changing the pronoun form in the paragraph from the 'his' to 'its' in order to reflect a change in condition. Does that sound legitimate to you? In order to clarify, I am using 'his' in the first part of the paragraph and 'its' later in the same paragraph. G-d, I am so inarticulate today!
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If you're doing this for the reason I'm guessing, I think it will be a powerful statement. And will tie in perfectly with a similar choice I made in "The Cat".
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it's clear to the reader
I have had doubts about the intelligence of some readers after the reaction I got from one chap to "Once Upon A Time". LOL Oy vey!
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Don't I know it. :) Have I ever told you that this story was once intended to be much shorter? Liss would have been a framing device, at the beginning and the end, and the rest was to be a sketch of Auron's life focusing on his relationship with Arelle. Then I started writing his interactions with Kinoc and discovered how fascinating they were, and it all snowballed from there....
Ikon has commented elsewhere that the average attention span starts to flag after about four to five thousand words, and I think she's right about that. I would split any chapter that reached the 5k mark.
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