I wish that I could see you again, I know that I can't
Ben's dead.
That's all in April's mind. She wants to drink. She wants, for the first time in ages, to be high, high as a paper kite, so she doesn't have to think. But she can't. And she can't bring herself to be broken on JD right now, because he's broken, and she feels so amazingly guilty that she can't be there for him, but it hurts too much.
It feels like part of her has been ripped out. Ben was family to her, in a way that no one else really has been. He was what she wished her siblings had been like. He was her comforter, her sounding board, her partner in crime.
And now he's gone. And he's not here. Hell, even if she was sure he'd be here later, which she's very much not, she'd be this torn up.
She's curled up in a big smooshy chair by the fire, wrapped in a blanket so that only the top half of her head and face is showing, and she's crying, softly.
She has no one to go to. And that makes it hurt even more.
That's all in April's mind. She wants to drink. She wants, for the first time in ages, to be high, high as a paper kite, so she doesn't have to think. But she can't. And she can't bring herself to be broken on JD right now, because he's broken, and she feels so amazingly guilty that she can't be there for him, but it hurts too much.
It feels like part of her has been ripped out. Ben was family to her, in a way that no one else really has been. He was what she wished her siblings had been like. He was her comforter, her sounding board, her partner in crime.
And now he's gone. And he's not here. Hell, even if she was sure he'd be here later, which she's very much not, she'd be this torn up.
She's curled up in a big smooshy chair by the fire, wrapped in a blanket so that only the top half of her head and face is showing, and she's crying, softly.
She has no one to go to. And that makes it hurt even more.