Re-Write Wednesday: Don't Tell me Why

[out_totheblack]

This is a great article from Janice Hardy's blog.  Showing not telling is one of my biggest problems; it invariably sneaks up on me followed closely by tricksy passive voice.

I talk about character goals and motivation a lot, because they're the backbone of any story. But sometimes, they can be a red flag that you're telling and not showing. Little

Comments

[bondo_ba]

I agree about the telling. There's a tendency for modern writers to tie themselves in knots to avoid telling. It doesn't help to give me six paragraphs of showing when one sentence of telling will do the trick!

[out_totheblack]

You got that right!

[peadarog]

Yup. Some of these examples are a bit pointless as far as I'm concerned. But some are good ways to avoid redundancy.

[glynisj]

Wow! I learned from this one. Thank you! Bunches!

[out_totheblack]

You aught to pop over to her blog and tell her. I'm sure she'd appreciate it.

[bogwitch64]

These are great things to look for when writing. They can ALL be eliminated with stronger writing. The trick is figuring out if an efficient tell serves the story better--which brings me to your 'WAS' question.

This is the one that can slide more often than any of the others cited in the quoted post. To, when, as, in--these are always sloppy writing and should be turned differently. When it comes to those 'sense' words: see, sound, realize, sometimes they need to stay. My general rule is if I can effectively get rid of them, I do. If it becomes too complicated to get around it, I leave it in. The same goes for was. There is most always a stronger way to write what you're trying to get across. Was can creep in more often, and invisibly, as long as it's not being done ad nauseum.

[out_totheblack]

Makes me want to go home and re-read everything; BUT, I'm going to go home and WRITE.

So, there. Ha ha.

[bogwitch64]

That is EXACTLY what you should do. Cleaning up the other stuff is final draft edit and should never darken the doors of any other. :)

Happy Writing!

[out_totheblack]

She has a great blog.

[tracy_d74]

Great stuff!