In-groups, out-groups and cliques

[oursin]

Thinking further about the emotions stirred up by the 'twenty anonymised statements, which may or may not apply to particular individuals reading them'* meme, one strand in my discomfort is that feeling that there's some kind of 'in-group' which is getting all the subtle allusions and jokes, and that anyone who isn't part of that is going to look

Comments

[nessreader]

I think "clique" implies more than a set of mutual friends; it implies power of some sort over outsiders. (If only the power to ridicule them.) From the inside, it does feel like oldfashioned socialising, it only looks sinister when you're all yearning and outsiderish.

I do hate posting on message boards because of that sense of entering someone else's local pub, you put a comment and all the regulars continue their discussion as if you didn't exist. That can feel chilling.

[oursin]

People who think other people are in cliques tend to attribute more power to them than they actually have to affect either the outsider person or the world/the specific circle around them in general.
Entering new spaces (real or virtual) is always a risky-feeling thing.

[wonderlandkat]

I think lj is very very cliquy, but I'm not sure if those statements are (I always thought of them as a good way to get passive aggresion out among an ingroup)

[oursin]

I'm not sure if lj is cliquey, or whether this is simply one way of describing the process whereby people tend to mingle only with people of similar interests. Looking at random journal or recent posts always makes me aware that there are lots of people out there completely unlike the lj circles I move in.

[wonderlandkat]

There really are. I know one group, that I'm sortof on the perphery of, who are really really high-school style cliquish- the fights, the ostrizization, everything. I can assume that part of livejournal isn't like that, but I would also bet they aren't the only ones.

[besideserato]

OMG, I am so out of the loop: what are these 'twenty anonymised statements?

I agree with wonderkat that LJ is cliquish. Some of my f-list was discussing the LJ as a giant high school phenomenon and I think it is very much applicable. Especially because so many of us do sit around discussing who's in and who's out and why. LOL!

[oursin]

There are certainly some high school aspects to parts of lj (rating communities make me cringe), but I don't think it has to be like that for everyone (even if we do all get restimulated old school-days angst if anyone defriends us!).

[besideserato]

OMG, I am totally high school with this thing, you don't even know. ROTFL! There are the cool people, the not so cool people you invite to the flist anyway, and then the toke people who come to flist for variety... and you judge people on what they've done with their templates and their avatars, you try to comment to all your friends, you gossip on AIM about what you've read and see if people anyone left you out of a beyond sort of filter... you get silly crushes and talk to everyone on their flist because you are too scared to send him or her an AIM (even though you've added them to your list and know they're online)... it's insane! But that is why I love it. I loved high school. Not a lot of people get off being silly like that. I can see why it's not cool sometimes. That meme gets mean. Mean is NOT = to silly.

[ex_greythist387]

I agree tentatively with the end that says that cliques are made (reinforced, at least?) by those who feel outside. I comment fairly freely on journals, but I think much harder about whether to click "Post Comment" if the person doesn't already know I lurk, for example.

(Esp. of late, when I feel I've little of use to add. :P )

[ironed_orchid]

I guess when someone with a f'list of 100+ makes a list of 20, then thoughts about inclusion and exclusion are quite likely to spring to mind. And also the extra worry of realizing that while the person making the list may be in my current 'top twenty' that I may not be in their's.

[owlfish]

To me, it seems more appropriate to make a list just as long as one's f'list when enticed into such memes.