Shut Your Eyes - Chapter One
Title: Shut Your Eyes
Authors: goten0040 and garnetice
Chapter: 1
Rating: M
Ship(s): Kendall/James, Carlos/Stephanie, maybe more.
Summary: Future!Fic. Kendall returns to L.A. six years after Big Time Rush disbanded. James has been missing for years. Imagine how things change when James reappears in his life. And he needs help.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
I felt my chest tighten as the stick connected with my face, my helmet jerking upwards, my neck aching as it snapped back, sweat suddenly flying off my chin and nose, mixing with very red drops of blood from the slice across my cheek.
My hockey stick clattered against the ice. I remembered hearing it before I followed it to the ground.
The real beauty of hockey has always been its animalistic, violent nature - at least, that was what I had come to convince myself over the years. I always found it fascinating how brutal I became on the ice - how everyone became on the ice. All I could hear was the clatter of hockey sticks, the swish of skates, and my breath - my breath snaking between my lips.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Players were always particularly harsh with me on the ice. It wasn’t every day that a former boyband leader was whooping them. Anyone who had done choreographed dance moves and sung about girls wasn’t exactly considered a threat, and thus led to their untimely doom. Of course, when a guy who had done choreographed dance moves and sung about girls kicked another, tougher guy’s ass - people tended to get offended.
“Faggot,” was hissed in my direction as my eyelids fluttered open. The referees were dragging him away.
“Kendall! Man, are you okay?” I was hazily being helped to my feet. They were sitting me on the bench and yanking the helmet off my head, my cropped hair sticking to my forehead in a mix of sweat and blood. “Fuck. Get the medic over here. This is bad. Try to stay with me Knight, alright?”
I nodded, though I wasn’t completely sure what I was nodding for.
I was 28 when I was forced to take a leave of absence from the Minnesota Wild due to a head injury.
Things sure had changed, that was for sure.
Of course, being a boyband wasn’t going to last forever. I think we all knew that. Three years was a damn good run for a group that thrived on the teenage girl set. Because, hey, teenage girls had the attention span of, like, what, a squirrel? Maybe? Either way they were pretty much dumb as fuck and not the kind of fans I was looking for. It was fairly simple what we would do after Big Time Rush disbanded.
Whatever the fuck we wanted.
So Logan went off to medical school, I went back home to start playing hockey professionally, and Carlos stayed behind with James. James started a solo career, and Carlos… well, Carlos really didn’t know what he wanted, just that he wanted to be with James, who was really the only person that completely, totally got him. Of course, Carlos had eventually settled on acting - which he was actually pretty good at - and life went on with our fabulous foursome… well… separated.
I guess I’d be lying if I didn’t think it was really weird at first. Weird and lonely. We tried to stay in touch, and for the most part, we did. But after about six years, everyone had gotten caught up in life and we relied on emails, texts, and the random phone call to catch up. For three of us anyway.
The last I had heard of James had been three years before. It was a text from Carlos. James is gone. No one knows where he went. All his stuff has disappeared.
.
My cell phone rang. One of those stupid, obnoxious rings that came with the phone because I’d been too lazy to change it when I bought it. Of course, I seriously regretted my decision when that awful noise pierced through my ears. When I saw the caller ID, however, I couldn’t help but smile slightly as I brought it up to my ear.
“Well, if it isn’t the Loginator. How’re you?” I responded cheerfully, slamming the door to my car and making my way up the driveway to my humble home.
“Aren’t we a little old for you to be calling me Loginator?”
“Age ain’t nothin’ but a number, Logie…. Damn. Has it really been six years since we last saw each other?”
“Those numbers are pretty jarring, aren’t they?”
“Yeah, I guess they are a little bit.”
It really had been six years since I had seen my friends face-to-face. We had talked on the phone of course, and I had seen Carlos on television, but our schedules never really permitted our seeing each other. It was jarring indeed. Age was a number, but my number was creeping up on 29 and that was pretty fucked up. I found myself wondering if I was really fulfilled after all. I’d been playing hockey for six years, and that was pretty much it. I mean, yes, there had been a few people on the side here and there, a few one night stands, some wild parties, but nothing… meaningful. Not since Big Time Rush disbanded.
“Well, listen. I know I haven’t called in awhile, but I just recently got some vacation and I was thinking of heading up to L.A. to see Carlos. You want to go?”
“Um…” I felt like Logan had read my mind - which wouldn’t be all that shocking because he still had this sort of mental link to me even after such a long time apart.
“I know its short notice, but maybe the team can let you go from a few practices? Just for a few days? It’ll be an old fashioned reunion!”
Of course, he didn’t know I had been given a leave of absence from the team.
“Oh, um… I don’t know man. I’ll need to check my schedule. When are you headed out?”
It wouldn’t be exactly simple to meet up. We were all on opposite sides of the country. Logan had taken up doctoring in Florida and was currently flirting it up the rest of his time with a gorgeous red-head with long dark eyelashes and a flare for danger. Her name was Jeanine or Jenny or… something. I didn’t really know. Any red-head’s I’d made out with had been strictly of the male variety. Logan didn’t know that either.
“Probably in the next couple of days. Think you can get out there? I think Carlos would be so excited.”
“How is he anyway?”
“Oh, you know. Going through the motions. I got an email from him the other day. Did you hear that his wife’s pregnant?”
Carlos had gotten married a year before - to none other than Stephanie King from the Palm Woods. I couldn’t believe that they’d met up again, but she had been directing a horror film in which he auditioned. He didn’t get the part, but he sure as hell got the director.
“Really? Damn, where does the time go?”
“I know. It’s crazy.”
I didn’t know why I was so hesitant to meet up again. Maybe it was facing something I felt guilty for walking away from. Maybe I didn’t want to get caught up in the whirlwind that was the Hollywood scene again.
Maybe I didn’t want to meet up with the others only to know there was still a missing piece to the puzzle. James.
“Come on, Kendall. I think it would be really good for us to get away for a little bit. Maybe… get into some trouble?” Logan hated getting in trouble. I could tell he was using it to convince me.
It worked. I smirked rather fondly at the thought. “Maybe a little trouble could do us good. Tell you what,
I’ll get online and look up plane tickets and see what I can come up with. I’ll be in touch.”
“Alright!”
“I’ll talk to you later, Logie. Love you.”
“Love you too. Later man.”
The phone clicked and I found myself standing on my stoop, shivering, not even realizing that I’d probably been standing at my front door for a good ten minutes at least. It was late October, the beginning of hockey season, and in Minnesota, that meant it was more like Fucking-Cold -Tober, as my coach so fondly had put it during an early session a while back. I couldn’t believe that one game in and I was already disbanded from the group. My fingertips grazed the white scar across the top of my left cheekbone, and I frowned. Guy got what he wanted, that was for sure.
I unlocked the door and made my way inside, and the house felt… oddly empty.
I supposed it was just something I would have to deal with.
.
Authors: goten0040 and garnetice
Chapter: 1
Rating: M
Ship(s): Kendall/James, Carlos/Stephanie, maybe more.
Summary: Future!Fic. Kendall returns to L.A. six years after Big Time Rush disbanded. James has been missing for years. Imagine how things change when James reappears in his life. And he needs help.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
I felt my chest tighten as the stick connected with my face, my helmet jerking upwards, my neck aching as it snapped back, sweat suddenly flying off my chin and nose, mixing with very red drops of blood from the slice across my cheek.
My hockey stick clattered against the ice. I remembered hearing it before I followed it to the ground.
The real beauty of hockey has always been its animalistic, violent nature - at least, that was what I had come to convince myself over the years. I always found it fascinating how brutal I became on the ice - how everyone became on the ice. All I could hear was the clatter of hockey sticks, the swish of skates, and my breath - my breath snaking between my lips.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Players were always particularly harsh with me on the ice. It wasn’t every day that a former boyband leader was whooping them. Anyone who had done choreographed dance moves and sung about girls wasn’t exactly considered a threat, and thus led to their untimely doom. Of course, when a guy who had done choreographed dance moves and sung about girls kicked another, tougher guy’s ass - people tended to get offended.
“Faggot,” was hissed in my direction as my eyelids fluttered open. The referees were dragging him away.
“Kendall! Man, are you okay?” I was hazily being helped to my feet. They were sitting me on the bench and yanking the helmet off my head, my cropped hair sticking to my forehead in a mix of sweat and blood. “Fuck. Get the medic over here. This is bad. Try to stay with me Knight, alright?”
I nodded, though I wasn’t completely sure what I was nodding for.
I was 28 when I was forced to take a leave of absence from the Minnesota Wild due to a head injury.
Things sure had changed, that was for sure.
Of course, being a boyband wasn’t going to last forever. I think we all knew that. Three years was a damn good run for a group that thrived on the teenage girl set. Because, hey, teenage girls had the attention span of, like, what, a squirrel? Maybe? Either way they were pretty much dumb as fuck and not the kind of fans I was looking for. It was fairly simple what we would do after Big Time Rush disbanded.
Whatever the fuck we wanted.
So Logan went off to medical school, I went back home to start playing hockey professionally, and Carlos stayed behind with James. James started a solo career, and Carlos… well, Carlos really didn’t know what he wanted, just that he wanted to be with James, who was really the only person that completely, totally got him. Of course, Carlos had eventually settled on acting - which he was actually pretty good at - and life went on with our fabulous foursome… well… separated.
I guess I’d be lying if I didn’t think it was really weird at first. Weird and lonely. We tried to stay in touch, and for the most part, we did. But after about six years, everyone had gotten caught up in life and we relied on emails, texts, and the random phone call to catch up. For three of us anyway.
The last I had heard of James had been three years before. It was a text from Carlos. James is gone. No one knows where he went. All his stuff has disappeared.
.
My cell phone rang. One of those stupid, obnoxious rings that came with the phone because I’d been too lazy to change it when I bought it. Of course, I seriously regretted my decision when that awful noise pierced through my ears. When I saw the caller ID, however, I couldn’t help but smile slightly as I brought it up to my ear.
“Well, if it isn’t the Loginator. How’re you?” I responded cheerfully, slamming the door to my car and making my way up the driveway to my humble home.
“Aren’t we a little old for you to be calling me Loginator?”
“Age ain’t nothin’ but a number, Logie…. Damn. Has it really been six years since we last saw each other?”
“Those numbers are pretty jarring, aren’t they?”
“Yeah, I guess they are a little bit.”
It really had been six years since I had seen my friends face-to-face. We had talked on the phone of course, and I had seen Carlos on television, but our schedules never really permitted our seeing each other. It was jarring indeed. Age was a number, but my number was creeping up on 29 and that was pretty fucked up. I found myself wondering if I was really fulfilled after all. I’d been playing hockey for six years, and that was pretty much it. I mean, yes, there had been a few people on the side here and there, a few one night stands, some wild parties, but nothing… meaningful. Not since Big Time Rush disbanded.
“Well, listen. I know I haven’t called in awhile, but I just recently got some vacation and I was thinking of heading up to L.A. to see Carlos. You want to go?”
“Um…” I felt like Logan had read my mind - which wouldn’t be all that shocking because he still had this sort of mental link to me even after such a long time apart.
“I know its short notice, but maybe the team can let you go from a few practices? Just for a few days? It’ll be an old fashioned reunion!”
Of course, he didn’t know I had been given a leave of absence from the team.
“Oh, um… I don’t know man. I’ll need to check my schedule. When are you headed out?”
It wouldn’t be exactly simple to meet up. We were all on opposite sides of the country. Logan had taken up doctoring in Florida and was currently flirting it up the rest of his time with a gorgeous red-head with long dark eyelashes and a flare for danger. Her name was Jeanine or Jenny or… something. I didn’t really know. Any red-head’s I’d made out with had been strictly of the male variety. Logan didn’t know that either.
“Probably in the next couple of days. Think you can get out there? I think Carlos would be so excited.”
“How is he anyway?”
“Oh, you know. Going through the motions. I got an email from him the other day. Did you hear that his wife’s pregnant?”
Carlos had gotten married a year before - to none other than Stephanie King from the Palm Woods. I couldn’t believe that they’d met up again, but she had been directing a horror film in which he auditioned. He didn’t get the part, but he sure as hell got the director.
“Really? Damn, where does the time go?”
“I know. It’s crazy.”
I didn’t know why I was so hesitant to meet up again. Maybe it was facing something I felt guilty for walking away from. Maybe I didn’t want to get caught up in the whirlwind that was the Hollywood scene again.
Maybe I didn’t want to meet up with the others only to know there was still a missing piece to the puzzle. James.
“Come on, Kendall. I think it would be really good for us to get away for a little bit. Maybe… get into some trouble?” Logan hated getting in trouble. I could tell he was using it to convince me.
It worked. I smirked rather fondly at the thought. “Maybe a little trouble could do us good. Tell you what,
I’ll get online and look up plane tickets and see what I can come up with. I’ll be in touch.”
“Alright!”
“I’ll talk to you later, Logie. Love you.”
“Love you too. Later man.”
The phone clicked and I found myself standing on my stoop, shivering, not even realizing that I’d probably been standing at my front door for a good ten minutes at least. It was late October, the beginning of hockey season, and in Minnesota, that meant it was more like Fucking-Cold -Tober, as my coach so fondly had put it during an early session a while back. I couldn’t believe that one game in and I was already disbanded from the group. My fingertips grazed the white scar across the top of my left cheekbone, and I frowned. Guy got what he wanted, that was for sure.
I unlocked the door and made my way inside, and the house felt… oddly empty.
I supposed it was just something I would have to deal with.
.