The Official ODC Post: Kpop/Cpop Edition
I've only been building this in my head for the past five years. Why it took me this long to flesh it out, I'll never know. This post is mostly for me as some kind of happy place I can go to when Kpop choreography fails me completely. Which kind of makes me want to make a sort of reverse-ODC post, that is to say, a boner killing choreo list that makes me very sad to be a fan of dancers in general. Let's just do the good stuff first, Liz.
RIGHT. SO.
ODC, for those of you just joining us, stands for Orgasm Dance Crown, which is pretty much just the personal award I give to the fragment of any piece of choreography that scores the highest on the Pants Destruction Meter. For the sake of this post, I'm going to include routines that are full of perfect, and ones that have a few good moments, just because I can. They're in no particular order, just put in as I remember them.
Again, mostly for me, but you are more than welcome to totally agree with me and enjoy it. I plan to come back and add things later on, of course, because this can't be everything. D:
ss501 | deja vu
Coming from a group that usually did nothing for me dance-wise, I almost choked on my own throat and died over this. As far as total group routines go, this has exactly everything right you should be doing. I'm giving the official crown to any time HJL is the focus because hot shit that boy can move when he feels like it. Didn't go with a live for this one, because all the lives for this cut out the good parts. Camera men. Pff. Side note: I once counted the glass smash noises in this song. I don't recall the number, but it was pretty high.
jang woohyuk | one way
Would have included one that had Mr. Jackson for an intro, but every performance he did that started with that, he didn't actually rap live, and I'm into making my man look good. But it's still good and creepy, so: with Mr. Jackson intro. Had to upload both of those myself. Because nobody loves him. And it's sad. I DIGRESS. What I love about this routine (and all of his for that matter), is that it just has a completely different feel than those of, well, every other one on this list. It's always tighter, with bigger tricks, and this man loves to surround himself with talent, so you know everyone up there doesn't do anything but dance. ODC goes to his dance break, because how the fuck does one even manage to top that much dancing with even more, better dancing? Okay, I'm giving up a second crown. Second crown goes to every time his dancers surround him like a dancing mob. I just like it.
dbsg | rising sun
This was probably the last song they did that I liked. Because it was basically perfect. I'm using this particular performance because of that break where Yunho pretty much loses his shit and decides he doesn't care that people will think he's left his brain backstage somewhere. Always good for a laugh. ODC goes to the jump at the beginning. For obvious reasons.
beast | soom
+ dance practice. It took me a long time to warm up to this choreo because, while it is very nice, very well put together and very appropriate, three things that I am fond of, there was, like with so many other routines, that one part that was throwing me off and making me question it. But if I pretend like that part doesn't happen, like the song and choreo are totally cut from the entire experience, this shit is gorgeous beyond gorgeous. And I give the crown to the whole damn thing.
mblaq | y
Almost all of their promotions can be put in this spot. (Cry is almost as good, too Added to the list as of 5.26.11). The way these guys work their group choreo is as close to perfect as it gets in Kpop boybands. It's always appropriate, and I'll take appropriate over tricky any day of the week. I already went into the how and why of this when the MV came out, but the ODC in this one is at 01:03. Never thought I'd give G.O an ODC, but he can have it on this one.
se7en | digital bounce
Any other day, I'd give up on any choreography involving TOP. I love the man, but a dancer he isn't. Good news is, he does like three steps in this and then just stands there looking pretty. ODC goes to Robocop, because when was the last time you saw anything like that?
taeyang | i'll be there
I don't like him as a solo artist and there are exactly two songs of his that I like, but there have been very few times in my life that I've wanted to rub myself on my computer screen more than in the moment I laid eyes on this routine. It just looks like something I would come up with. And, again, major points for appropriateness. Chrome says that's a word, so I'm rolling with it. ODC, as stated in a previous entry, goes to the 02:57 mark and on. Even though he's not actually moving. The artistry makes up for it.
jtl | without your love
Woohyuk is a champion of dance. The world knows this. But it takes something extra special to throw together a routine that covers the wide range of dance ability in JTL. Plus, I constantly have to give it up to Newest dancers. They're like a well-trained dancing mob and Woohyuk is their king. ODC goes to the 3:18 shoulder shimmy. It makes my world good.
bi | sad tango
Another MV instead of a live, because all of the lives were very very poor quality. Stomping and costume props, yo. Ah, the bliss that is an excellent routine executed by a true dancing professional. The entire thing gets the ODC, though I am partial to the beginning.
miss a | breathe
Usually, I wouldn't even think of adding female choreography to a list like this, because I've always (and always will, no doubt) found the choreography for girl groups to lack the same amount of skill and energy as male groups. With this one, however, I just find it so different and strange to not include it. It helps that every time I hear this song, I have my brother's voice in my head yelling, SOMEONE HELP HER. SHE CAN'T BREATHE. One comment on these stage outfits, though. Those tit pockets that Suzy has going on? Hella distracting. ODC? Torso bobble.
battle | step by step
It is impossible to find lives of this, let alone high quality ones, so you'll have to excuse this travesty. Fancams saved the day this time. Guilty pleasure time. I am already well aware of how much this doesn't fit in here and, trust me, I grappled with the decision of whether or not to include it for a very long time, and considering I've been working on this post for days and it was the first one I thought of when I started, that's a long god damn time to debate something. Anyway. It doesn't have the kind of appeal as the others on this list, but it's just one of those routines that I fell in love with from day one. Also, I think of it every time I see or hear anything to do with this garbage that they're trying to pass off as choreography, and I kind of just want to sit 2pm's choreographer down and make him watch this on loop and scream, THIS IS HOW YOU MAKE A STEP-BASED ROUTINE, every time it ends, just to start it again until he gets the point. (PS: While searching for that video, the "featured video" it gave me in the links was BEAST's Soom. So I took a break to watch that and cleanse myself of this 2pm megadump). And because this is my guilty pleasure choice, I'm giving a crown to the entire damn thing. Because it's my damn crown and I can. Also because I can: another rehearsal, one semi-decent but edited perf, kind of awkward dance practice. I actually wrote more for this one than on Woohyuk's. Just saying.
super junior | don't don
So then I was thinking, wait a minute, why isn't there any Super Junior in here? And then I was thinking, wait a minute, why are there only totally shit quality lives of this song on youtube? And then I was like OH MAN KIBUM AND HENRY. So then I couldn't not include it here somewhere. ODC goes to Henry, again, for obvious reasons. I'll let Hyukjae and Donghae share it with him for their additions to his part. Additionally, the Kangin-based portion at 03:17 is like the king of destroying my pants, so that gets a crown, too. I must also add, this performance, while including very little of the original choreography, deserves some mentioning. Just because it's too cool to be real. Plus there's Henry. Henry makes everything in this world beautiful, no lie.
show luo | only you
Decided to change the theme of this entire post by including C-pop because of this one. It felt so barren and empty without a little Show to liven up the place. I love this song, I love this video, and I love this choreography more than both of those combined. Show is an extreme!Dreamboat and it's terribly obvious in this. I went with the MV on this one because the one dance studio video out there isn't him, but it still shows the choreo in all it's glory so: bam. I'm also kind of in love with his lady dancers. ODC goes to the part at the ass-end of the chorus (in the studio video, since it never actually shows in the MV) where they have a sequential round that I may or may not be totally in love with. Stress on the 'may'. Because I am. The whole chorus is gold, though, because it looks like they're legit playing DDR.
infinite | before the dawn
+ dance practice. I'll be totally honest. I don't like them I fucking love them. Nothing about them is appealing to me Everything they do is clearly heaven-sent. I really wanted to include this in the original posting, but I also really, really didn't want to, either. But this routine is a choreogasm waiting to happen. Almost as much as I love appropriateness, I adore synchronicity, and this group has it falling out of it's ears. There are three parts I want to give the crown to, so I'll just give it to the whole routine. But, for the record, I am very fond of the entire chorus portion.
jonathan wong | 你是哪種人
Again with the MV instead of anything else because, while there is a perfectly good dance practice video floating around, the feel of the choreography fits better with the MV. The routine is strange and it takes some getting used to if it's not your thing, I know, but Heartbeat is the same, and I love that, too. I think, with this one, it's being able to determine the artistic from the aesthetic, and I don't want to sound like I'm full of myself, but I'm not talking out of my ass with this one. A lot of Asian music fans are young and are into it because of how good everything looks, and I get that, which is why this is so beautiful. It's different and amazing and that's it. Crown: 02:30 in the MV, 02:34 in the practice, that whole section there. Again, I have some reservations about choosing a piece of the choreography where the focus is standing still, but the runner-up in this one had him standing still, too. So there it is.
x-5 | the show is over
I'm reluctant to include something from a brand new group, because I tend to also include my knowledge of each member's dance skills when I write this shit, but I just couldn't let this one go. At first I thought that I might have just been really into their amazingly tight pants, so I was writing it off as some kind of pervy obsession, but then I really got to thinking (which is to say, talking to Steph randomly) and it really is about the choreography. And also the pants. But mostly the choreo. (Or maybe mostly the pants, idfk). My crown goes to Hyunjin/Zin's part of the chorus (the rapper, for those of us who didn't just look it up). Because I like it. I like to look at it. And him. It should be a crime to be him. He's only 17. Liz, this has to end.
f.cuz | midnight sun
I honestly can't say why I didn't include this sooner. I was going through their stuff, trying to catch Steph up on everything she's missed over the past four years or so, and I remembered that I loved the performances for this and after five or six of them, I decided it was time to revise the ODC list to include this. It's another artistic versus aesthetic, leaning on the aesthetic side (because, after all, it's still Kpop). Major points for appropriateness, of course, and for accommodating a lack of skill for some of them. ODC: 01:22 through 01:40. Because I like it. And that's all it takes.
jang woohyuk | time is [l]over
Officially breaking my rule of not including the same artist twice for this one. And because I broke that rule, it opened up the post to the next few, as well. It's perfect and I don't even care how pathetic I sound when I say it is my everything and I can now die happy. Woo Hyuk. Amazing. Perfect. And dancing, like he always should be. Crown goes to the whole damn thing because all of it, every second, deserves awards.
beast | fiction
Almost kicked Shock off this list just to put this one in, until Woo Hyuk came along and broke the rules. Major points again for appropriateness. Prepix broke my heart when I first saw it, but I needed to watch it fully before I could really judge and that stupid penguin step grows on me more and more each time I see it. ODC goes to both times they line up in a diagonal for the sequential rounds. So 00:54 to 00:59 and 01:58 to 02:03.
mblaq | cry
Can someone please tell me why almost every one of these lives are cut so damn short? I take that back, all of them are cut short. Whatever. Music show bitches can't appreciate gold choreography when Joon is slapping them in the damn face with it. I went with this one because Joon isn't wearing one of those eye murdering open-sleeve jackets. The entirety of the first chorus gets my crown. Because men on the floor is almost always a plus in my book.
TO BE CONTINUED/EDITED. PS: THIS IS ALL TRUFAX.
PLEASE EDIT YOUR BIBLES ACCORDINGLY.
last edit: 2.26.12
RIGHT. SO.
ODC, for those of you just joining us, stands for Orgasm Dance Crown, which is pretty much just the personal award I give to the fragment of any piece of choreography that scores the highest on the Pants Destruction Meter. For the sake of this post, I'm going to include routines that are full of perfect, and ones that have a few good moments, just because I can. They're in no particular order, just put in as I remember them.
Again, mostly for me, but you are more than welcome to totally agree with me and enjoy it. I plan to come back and add things later on, of course, because this can't be everything. D:
ss501 | deja vu
Click to viewComing from a group that usually did nothing for me dance-wise, I almost choked on my own throat and died over this. As far as total group routines go, this has exactly everything right you should be doing. I'm giving the official crown to any time HJL is the focus because hot shit that boy can move when he feels like it. Didn't go with a live for this one, because all the lives for this cut out the good parts. Camera men. Pff. Side note: I once counted the glass smash noises in this song. I don't recall the number, but it was pretty high.
jang woohyuk | one way
Would have included one that had Mr. Jackson for an intro, but every performance he did that started with that, he didn't actually rap live, and I'm into making my man look good. But it's still good and creepy, so: with Mr. Jackson intro. Had to upload both of those myself. Because nobody loves him. And it's sad. I DIGRESS. What I love about this routine (and all of his for that matter), is that it just has a completely different feel than those of, well, every other one on this list. It's always tighter, with bigger tricks, and this man loves to surround himself with talent, so you know everyone up there doesn't do anything but dance. ODC goes to his dance break, because how the fuck does one even manage to top that much dancing with even more, better dancing? Okay, I'm giving up a second crown. Second crown goes to every time his dancers surround him like a dancing mob. I just like it.
dbsg | rising sun
This was probably the last song they did that I liked. Because it was basically perfect. I'm using this particular performance because of that break where Yunho pretty much loses his shit and decides he doesn't care that people will think he's left his brain backstage somewhere. Always good for a laugh. ODC goes to the jump at the beginning. For obvious reasons.
beast | soom
+ dance practice. It took me a long time to warm up to this choreo because, while it is very nice, very well put together and very appropriate, three things that I am fond of, there was, like with so many other routines, that one part that was throwing me off and making me question it. But if I pretend like that part doesn't happen, like the song and choreo are totally cut from the entire experience, this shit is gorgeous beyond gorgeous. And I give the crown to the whole damn thing.
mblaq | y
Almost all of their promotions can be put in this spot. (Cry is almost as good, too Added to the list as of 5.26.11). The way these guys work their group choreo is as close to perfect as it gets in Kpop boybands. It's always appropriate, and I'll take appropriate over tricky any day of the week. I already went into the how and why of this when the MV came out, but the ODC in this one is at 01:03. Never thought I'd give G.O an ODC, but he can have it on this one.
se7en | digital bounce
Any other day, I'd give up on any choreography involving TOP. I love the man, but a dancer he isn't. Good news is, he does like three steps in this and then just stands there looking pretty. ODC goes to Robocop, because when was the last time you saw anything like that?
taeyang | i'll be there
I don't like him as a solo artist and there are exactly two songs of his that I like, but there have been very few times in my life that I've wanted to rub myself on my computer screen more than in the moment I laid eyes on this routine. It just looks like something I would come up with. And, again, major points for appropriateness. Chrome says that's a word, so I'm rolling with it. ODC, as stated in a previous entry, goes to the 02:57 mark and on. Even though he's not actually moving. The artistry makes up for it.
jtl | without your love
Woohyuk is a champion of dance. The world knows this. But it takes something extra special to throw together a routine that covers the wide range of dance ability in JTL. Plus, I constantly have to give it up to Newest dancers. They're like a well-trained dancing mob and Woohyuk is their king. ODC goes to the 3:18 shoulder shimmy. It makes my world good.
bi | sad tango
Another MV instead of a live, because all of the lives were very very poor quality. Stomping and costume props, yo. Ah, the bliss that is an excellent routine executed by a true dancing professional. The entire thing gets the ODC, though I am partial to the beginning.
miss a | breathe
Usually, I wouldn't even think of adding female choreography to a list like this, because I've always (and always will, no doubt) found the choreography for girl groups to lack the same amount of skill and energy as male groups. With this one, however, I just find it so different and strange to not include it. It helps that every time I hear this song, I have my brother's voice in my head yelling, SOMEONE HELP HER. SHE CAN'T BREATHE. One comment on these stage outfits, though. Those tit pockets that Suzy has going on? Hella distracting. ODC? Torso bobble.
battle | step by step
It is impossible to find lives of this, let alone high quality ones, so you'll have to excuse this travesty. Fancams saved the day this time. Guilty pleasure time. I am already well aware of how much this doesn't fit in here and, trust me, I grappled with the decision of whether or not to include it for a very long time, and considering I've been working on this post for days and it was the first one I thought of when I started, that's a long god damn time to debate something. Anyway. It doesn't have the kind of appeal as the others on this list, but it's just one of those routines that I fell in love with from day one. Also, I think of it every time I see or hear anything to do with this garbage that they're trying to pass off as choreography, and I kind of just want to sit 2pm's choreographer down and make him watch this on loop and scream, THIS IS HOW YOU MAKE A STEP-BASED ROUTINE, every time it ends, just to start it again until he gets the point. (PS: While searching for that video, the "featured video" it gave me in the links was BEAST's Soom. So I took a break to watch that and cleanse myself of this 2pm megadump). And because this is my guilty pleasure choice, I'm giving a crown to the entire damn thing. Because it's my damn crown and I can. Also because I can: another rehearsal, one semi-decent but edited perf, kind of awkward dance practice. I actually wrote more for this one than on Woohyuk's. Just saying.
super junior | don't don
So then I was thinking, wait a minute, why isn't there any Super Junior in here? And then I was thinking, wait a minute, why are there only totally shit quality lives of this song on youtube? And then I was like OH MAN KIBUM AND HENRY. So then I couldn't not include it here somewhere. ODC goes to Henry, again, for obvious reasons. I'll let Hyukjae and Donghae share it with him for their additions to his part. Additionally, the Kangin-based portion at 03:17 is like the king of destroying my pants, so that gets a crown, too. I must also add, this performance, while including very little of the original choreography, deserves some mentioning. Just because it's too cool to be real. Plus there's Henry. Henry makes everything in this world beautiful, no lie.
show luo | only you
Decided to change the theme of this entire post by including C-pop because of this one. It felt so barren and empty without a little Show to liven up the place. I love this song, I love this video, and I love this choreography more than both of those combined. Show is an extreme!Dreamboat and it's terribly obvious in this. I went with the MV on this one because the one dance studio video out there isn't him, but it still shows the choreo in all it's glory so: bam. I'm also kind of in love with his lady dancers. ODC goes to the part at the ass-end of the chorus (in the studio video, since it never actually shows in the MV) where they have a sequential round that I may or may not be totally in love with. Stress on the 'may'. Because I am. The whole chorus is gold, though, because it looks like they're legit playing DDR.
infinite | before the dawn
+ dance practice. I'll be totally honest. I don't like them I fucking love them. Nothing about them is appealing to me Everything they do is clearly heaven-sent. I really wanted to include this in the original posting, but I also really, really didn't want to, either. But this routine is a choreogasm waiting to happen. Almost as much as I love appropriateness, I adore synchronicity, and this group has it falling out of it's ears. There are three parts I want to give the crown to, so I'll just give it to the whole routine. But, for the record, I am very fond of the entire chorus portion.
jonathan wong | 你是哪種人
Again with the MV instead of anything else because, while there is a perfectly good dance practice video floating around, the feel of the choreography fits better with the MV. The routine is strange and it takes some getting used to if it's not your thing, I know, but Heartbeat is the same, and I love that, too. I think, with this one, it's being able to determine the artistic from the aesthetic, and I don't want to sound like I'm full of myself, but I'm not talking out of my ass with this one. A lot of Asian music fans are young and are into it because of how good everything looks, and I get that, which is why this is so beautiful. It's different and amazing and that's it. Crown: 02:30 in the MV, 02:34 in the practice, that whole section there. Again, I have some reservations about choosing a piece of the choreography where the focus is standing still, but the runner-up in this one had him standing still, too. So there it is.
x-5 | the show is over
I'm reluctant to include something from a brand new group, because I tend to also include my knowledge of each member's dance skills when I write this shit, but I just couldn't let this one go. At first I thought that I might have just been really into their amazingly tight pants, so I was writing it off as some kind of pervy obsession, but then I really got to thinking (which is to say, talking to Steph randomly) and it really is about the choreography. And also the pants. But mostly the choreo. (Or maybe mostly the pants, idfk). My crown goes to Hyunjin/Zin's part of the chorus (the rapper, for those of us who didn't just look it up). Because I like it. I like to look at it. And him. It should be a crime to be him. He's only 17. Liz, this has to end.
f.cuz | midnight sun
I honestly can't say why I didn't include this sooner. I was going through their stuff, trying to catch Steph up on everything she's missed over the past four years or so, and I remembered that I loved the performances for this and after five or six of them, I decided it was time to revise the ODC list to include this. It's another artistic versus aesthetic, leaning on the aesthetic side (because, after all, it's still Kpop). Major points for appropriateness, of course, and for accommodating a lack of skill for some of them. ODC: 01:22 through 01:40. Because I like it. And that's all it takes.
jang woohyuk | time is [l]over
Officially breaking my rule of not including the same artist twice for this one. And because I broke that rule, it opened up the post to the next few, as well. It's perfect and I don't even care how pathetic I sound when I say it is my everything and I can now die happy. Woo Hyuk. Amazing. Perfect. And dancing, like he always should be. Crown goes to the whole damn thing because all of it, every second, deserves awards.
beast | fiction
Almost kicked Shock off this list just to put this one in, until Woo Hyuk came along and broke the rules. Major points again for appropriateness. Prepix broke my heart when I first saw it, but I needed to watch it fully before I could really judge and that stupid penguin step grows on me more and more each time I see it. ODC goes to both times they line up in a diagonal for the sequential rounds. So 00:54 to 00:59 and 01:58 to 02:03.
mblaq | cry
Can someone please tell me why almost every one of these lives are cut so damn short? I take that back, all of them are cut short. Whatever. Music show bitches can't appreciate gold choreography when Joon is slapping them in the damn face with it. I went with this one because Joon isn't wearing one of those eye murdering open-sleeve jackets. The entirety of the first chorus gets my crown. Because men on the floor is almost always a plus in my book.
TO BE CONTINUED/EDITED. PS: THIS IS ALL TRUFAX.
PLEASE EDIT YOUR BIBLES ACCORDINGLY.
last edit: 2.26.12