Fun with fraternization*
*I am the king of tasteful subject lines. KING OF THEM. Also, the term "fraternization" cracks me up because it's so inappropriate for what it's often used to denote - why did I use it again? Oh, right, because it's ironic.It's showtime! After all I've been through with this fic, I can finally say that I am pleased. I've been working on it on-and- ( Read more... )
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Heh, there would've been no fun in writing exposition for this fic without making it some sort of intimate scene-setter. >B) HAHAHA YES, but honestly I like to mention it in fics from time to time, when it doesn't break the flow. I mostly thought it worked here because I was going for realistic anyway; also to challenge the assumption I sometimes see in fandom that being realistic is inherently unsexy. I don't see the unsexy in minimizing the resultant mess, LULZ. And yeah, Zero deserves at least one moment of not being precise... >B)FUN FACT, THE PLONKER THING WAS THE BIT I WROTE FIRST. The tea/coffee and trolly factual tl;dr at times BB isn't interested in hearing it were obligatory canon injokes (oh Zero and his ( ... )
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Okay, where to start? You had me from the first paragraph, really; the gramaphone, the compulsive tidiness and the almost dreamlike sequence that follows. I love BB's character, he's got this endearing almost-awkwardness that marks him out as being younger, which contrasts beautifully with his stoicism later on. Meanwhile, Zero seems to remain the same throughout. Masterful contrast <3
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I'm glad the exposition-y part was that catchy - I'm not a fan of exposition for its own sake, so I tried to use it to establish the preliminaries. (Zero's compulsive neatness, apart from making sense in canon re: The System, was also influenced by one time Che and I looked up the Chinese zodiac for MGS characters and Zero's fit eerily well. The emphasis on organization was in there too.) I like that you described the Zero-POV sequence as almost "dreamlike", since I wanted to show how infatuated he actually is with BB under it all (and given that his behaviour is so reserved all the time, the best way to get it across clearly was to tackle it from his perspective).
As for BB's awkwardness, it certainly amuses me to play up the age difference a bit - not to overshadow the rest of their dynamic, but just to show it's there. And I see BB as a lot less adjusted to human interaction that isn't about fighting than Zero is. Not to say he's totally socially inept, but he just doesn't have a chance in hell of ( ... )
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I like that you address the age difference. It makes sense that BB would act differently around someone so obviously his senior, both in terms of age and professionally. BB isn't socially inept, but he's hardly your standard extrovert, and by contrast Zero seems like the master conversationalist.
That zodiac thing is uncanny, by the way XD
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Agreed. And also, just look at their jobs: Zero's always in some position of leadership and/or diplomacy (I imagine the last time he would've done dirty work was during WWII; then it's likely he was more in charge and hey, the scar wouldn't make blending in exactly easy). On the other hand, BB only seems to have done unpleasant covert ops by this point (when he wasn't training with The Boss or getting test-nuked). So I'd be very surprised if he were as well equipped for talking and being universally confident as Zero. Which just goes back to the part where they're on unequal ground despite being so close, isn't that ironic...
That was my reaction to it too. XD
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I really loved this <3 Being a music geek, I liked how the start and end link like exposition and recapitulation in sonata form which I suppose fits with the music referenced at the start and end. You already know I make weird connections sometimes haha.
Their pillow talk was adorable - you write their characters so well <3
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Thank you~ The connection with music you've made isn't out of left field at all; I totally use some music-style approaches in writing and the notion of flow/coming full circle is among them. In this fic, it was all on purpose, so actually I'm glad you noticed!
And thanks again - they're incredibly fun to write. <3
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I agree that the sex is dreamlike (ngl, I got bogged down in it on my first couple of reads) - it's intimate, they're negotiating their differences, and it does come across as very patient. The music is a sweet touch and I like that you brought it back again at the end - it allows the whole fic to meander around while keeping its mood and remaining cohesive. That mood really does run all through it; the negotiating over names is part of it, I think; it's uncertain, BUT IT CARES.
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Haha, I hope it wasn't derailing too much because that italicized sequence originally wasn't even meant to be there; it was the result of Zero wanting some spotlight on his precious feelings and I couldn't figure out a way to do it without singling out the whole passage (given that I was already writing in third person limited for BB) while not even attempting to hide that he's in over his head. Mindfuck porn > regular porn. XD (Also he's being kind of a hypocrite to Jack since he's clearly thinking of himself as Zero at this point. Whoops.)
Anyway, I'm glad the rest of it worked for you, especially my little "keeping it together" strategy with the music/coming full circle, and the mood. And yes, I wanted to show that they care, even though they should probably be negotiating A HELL OF A LOT MORE. XD
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