Unexpected Destinies Chapter 40
Title: Unexpected Destinies
Rating: R
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 3,344
Summary: The morning after the attack.
PAST
Consciousness returned to Dean slowly as it did so often lately. As a result, he didn't immediately worry or realize that something wasn't right. When he did, it was to notice that the haze around his mind wasn't due to slowly receding sleep, but rather as a result of a drug. The realization caused panic to flare deep in his gut and he immediately started to struggle against it, trying desperately to recall what had happened.
"Shh, it's okay, Dean, shh," Castiel's voice suddenly penetrated the haze as fingers carted softly through his hair.
Dean was surprised at how quickly he reacted, the terror vanishing almost immediately. He still fought to wake up as it was obvious that something had gone wrong, but his lover's presence clearly indicated that any danger had passed. Then two fingers touched his forehead and the haze cleared, allowing him to open his eyes. When he did so, it was to look right into Castiel's as the angel was leaning over him, observing him with a slight frown on his face.
"What happened?" Dean inquired, still not able to remember much.
A careful check of his body led him to the discovery that while he wasn't hurt- an unlikely possibility given his lover's penchant for healing any and all injuries he had, no matter how small-, he ached pleasantly in a very familiar way. He'd had sex recently, vigorous sex and, based on where he didn't ache, he'd topped. Although it wasn't his first time not remembering having had sex, it was his first with Castiel and he didn't like that. At all. It wasn't just about having a good time with his angel and he didn't like the thought that he might have done something or taken something that would have affected his memory.
He blinked at the thought. Dean had been serious when he'd told Castiel that he'd drink less and, so far, had not only managed to keep his promise, but planned to keep doing so. So what the hell else could have made him lose time like that? Especially since he'd done something so good as having sex? If he'd woken up without the pleasant muscle aches, he'd have thought it was the result of a hunt gone bad, but he just couldn't see his angel allowing him to distract him with sex if that was the case. Most especially if he'd been drugged or poisoned somehow.
"You don't remember," Castiel stated.
The mixed look of relief and concern on his angel's face worried Dean even more. What could possibly be good about him not remembering what had happened? Surely it couldn't have been that bad.
"Cas, what happened?"
Castiel looked unhappy, as if he'd rather not tell him, but Dean could already detect resignation on his face as well. It made his heart clench and a wave of what he now recognized as love to wash over him at how well his lover knew him. If it had been Sam or Bobby in Castiel's place, he knew he'd have to beg or cajole to get the full story out of them regardless of the fact that it had happened to him and he had a right to know about it. They had no right to make those kinds of decisions for him. His angel, though, knew him well enough not to do so even if perhaps he wanted to. The desire to protect him didn't go unnoticed and it warmed him on a level he didn't really want to look too closely at, new revelation or not.
The thought froze him in his mental tracks and Dean's eyes opened wide and the breath caught in his throat as he thought back over his internal musings. New revelation. Wave of love. What the hell? His breathing sped up all of a sudden as bits and pieces of the previous evening came rushing back to him. The bar where he'd gone to hustle pool. The stunning chick who hadn't taken no for an answer. His fleeing to the bathroom. The thrall. The burning need, want, lust that had risen within him and seemed to consume him whole. The absolutely desperate urge to fuck someone, anyone. This last filled him with cold, horror and dread, nearly choking him as he remembered having her on top of him, undoing his belt, followed swiftly by the memory of having someone riding him.
The memories at the end were all blurry though, no more than half remembered images and fragments, so a lot of it was unclear and hazy to the point that he didn't actually know who he'd fucked and that caused panic to flare in his gut once more.
"Oh, God!" Dean said, completely forgetting not to blaspheme before his angel. "Cas, tell me I didn't- shit, fuck. Just..."
"Dean-"
"Please tell me I didn't cheat on you!"
Castiel's face became fierce and a hand shot out to grab his chin so that Dean couldn't turn his head away. Couldn't do anything but meet his lover's eye and crap, but he hated it sometimes that his angel knew him so well.
"You were in thrall and poisoned with her venom, Dean," Castiel started. "It would not have been cheating if you had lain with her. It would have been rape."
Even though his eyes were wide at the absolute conviction, fierceness and underlying rage in Castiel's voice, Dean didn't miss the keywords in his speech. Would have been. It was amazing and damn near unbelievable, the sheer relief those words managed to produce within him and he deflated back onto the bed. Now that his panic had bled away, he realized that not only were they both naked, but they were laying on top of the sheets, a sure sign that they'd fallen into bed quite frantic.
"How much do you remember?"
"Just bits and pieces," Dean replied. "Everything's pretty clear up to getting back to the room, but then it starts to get patchy."
"She had you in thrall at least long enough to douse you with her venom."
"Yeah, I know, I didn't realize what she was until far too late. Thought she was just a human, someone who didn't want to take no for an answer."
"She approached you before the attack?"
Castiel's word choice wasn't lost on Dean, but he chose to let it go, not wanting to argue about it now. "Yeah, at the bar where I was hustling," somehow it was important to add in that latter detail as he didn't want his lover to think he'd been out drinking, not after what he'd promised. "Thought she was just another chick. Stupid, fucking, rookie mistake!"
"Enough, Dean," Castiel commanded firmly. "She was a copniry succubus and they are experts at blending in. Without a trail of victims, you had no way of knowing what she was."
"I'm a hunter, damnit, I should be able to tell a creature from a human!"
"Dean-"
"She knew what I was!" The words were out of his mouth as soon as the memory came to him. "Fuck, I wish I could remember it all." Not only did he hate not knowing what had happened to him, but he knew something important had transpired. Something that had put the word 'love' into his head. "What happened to her anyway? Did you drop by just in time to rescue me?"
"No, you saved yourself, really."
"Huh? I know that I can't remember all of it, Cas, but I know I was in no condition to do anything."
"You shouldn't have been," Castiel corrected. "Not with the amount of venom in your system and the pheromones in the air. Yet despite that, you managed to stay coherent enough to realize how to summon help and then to do so."
The words stirred another vague memory, but it wasn't enough for him. He wanted more, he needed more. "Michael? I called Michael?"
"Yes."
"He killed her?"
"Yes, and then he summoned me when you wouldn't let him help you. That was something else you shouldn't have been able to do, differentiate between people and show a preference, but you did."
The words allowed Dean to relax enough to actually close his eyes and he tried desperately to remember more of what had happened. The memories, though, refused to come and it frustrated him to no end. He must have made a face as there was a sigh above him before fingers brushed his forehead. Something seemed to click in his mind and everything came rushing back to him, but it wasn't like his Hell flashbacks that had at times seemed to be a literal reliving of the events. Though he now recalled everything that had happened to him last night, it all had some distance to it so it didn't overwhelm him as it otherwise might have.
Grateful beyond words, Dean surged up to kiss his lover, trying to convey his thanks to Castiel in the only way that he could. What started out fevered and borderline frantic as he sought to show his lover the depth of his feelings slowly mellowed and became far slower, but also far more tender. The change reminded him of his realization and he struggled to focus on it even as his angel's nearness and nakedness threatened to rob him of all rational thought. Despite that, it fit so well that he couldn't believe how he'd missed it all before; how he'd managed to delude himself into thinking it was anything less than what it truly was.
When Castiel pulled back so that he could breathe, Dean struggled to do so, all of his attention focused so completely on his lover. Wonder and awe filled him as he never thought he'd ever be able to really love someone the way his father had his mother or the way Sam had clearly loved Jess. But there was also fear, it pulsed hard and fast beneath all of the other emotions, but no less strong because of that. He'd seen the way his father and brother had ended up because of their love and that had been when Mom and Jess had been snatched from them. How much worse would it be for him when Castiel left voluntarily to go back to Heaven?
"I'm sorry," Castiel said suddenly, voice gone grave.
Dean blinked in confusion, frowning as he tried to figure out what had just happened and where the mood had gone. "what?"
Although they both could stop instantly if the need arose- their close encounter down in Mississippi when Castiel had surprised him outside a bar for one only for them to nearly be interrupted by a group leaving the bar- neither of them had ever turned off so fast before for no apparent reason. Dean didn't like this change of events in the slightest and felt a deep pang of hurt at it.
"If I had realized how poorly you understood my feelings for you, I would have remedied the situation far sooner."
And what? Dean was totally lost now, completely unable to follow what his lover was trying to say. "Uh, Cas? What do you mean? I know you like me."
Apparently that was the wrong thing to say as Castiel's face tightened and Dean tried desperately to figure out how he'd fucked it up now. He'd never been good with words and that was why he hated chick flick moments with such a vengeance; he inevitably said the wrong thing and pissed someone off without intending to do so at all. Sam in particular had always seemed frustrated and annoyed with him at those times.
"Why can you never see yourself for what you truly are?" Castiel questioned in frustration.
"Uh... is this about the succubus? Because I know I fucked up there."
"No, Dean, you didn't. The fault was mine."
"Yours? How the hell do you figure that?" Dean demanded, anger flickering to life within him. "I'm the one that was weak enough to give her the opening she needed."
"And I am the reason why that opening existed. If I had only made sure that you knew how I felt about you, she would not have been able to rob you of your reason."
"Cas?"
Dean didn't like the uncertainty even he could detect in his own voice, but he couldn't help it. Castiel clearly disagreed with his assessment of the angel's feelings for him and that caused fear to rise within him. Had he been wrong to think that his lover cared for him? Surely he hadn't gotten that wrong. He couldn't imagine that he had, not after everything that had transpired between them, but what else could his angel mean?
"Dean, I love you."
Those four words were enough to completely freeze Dean in his tracks, leaving him to stare at Castiel in shock and disbelief. "I- you- what?!"
Anger briefly flickered in Castiel's eyes, but it was gone again almost just as quickly and Dean had no brain cells free to even think about trying to process that. All of them were still stuck on his lover's declaration, completely unable to process it. It was as if his entire ability to think had just shut down completely and gone offline for an indeterminate amount of time.
"I don't merely like or care for you, Dean, I love you," Castiel said slowly and carefully, pronouncing each word separately as if afraid that he would miss them.
Despite that, Dean was still no more able to process or comprehend them then he was earlier. He felt like he was in shock, the meaning of the words far too big and significant for him to take them in. What it would mean... They changed everything in a way that he wasn't yet able to deal with and thus his mind rejected them. Refuted them as impossible even in light of the fact that he couldn't think of a single instance in which his lover had lied to him about something like this. Time ticked by as he struggled to find a way to react and restart his mind and-
"I love you," Dean stated before he even realized he was going to speak.
Castiel's face softened and a hand came up to touch his face. "I know."
He knew? How the hell could his lover know that when he himself hadn't known? Dean felt himself adrift in a wash of emotions and truths he wasn't sure how to deal with or take in and it was a wonder that he didn't begin to panic or feel the need to start spouting off hurtful and defensive words as he tried to raise one of his fallen shields. He found it next to impossible to conjure up those emotions, though, his mind and body far too used to the safety and security Castiel offered for them to kick in now when another threat was so clearly lacking.
The silence was just starting to stretch out too far when the sudden, unexpected flutter of wings had Dean's eyes darting towards the sound, senses instantly going on full alert. The only angel he completely trusted was already in the room with him and thus the sound was cause for caution at the very least. Michael's sudden appearance in the room had him relaxing just before he recalled his and Castiel's naked state and self-consciousness kicked in. His face flushed and he tried to role away so he could scramble about for some clothing when his lover's hands stopped him.
"Dean, it's okay, he cannot see you," Castiel declared.
"What do you mean he can't see me? He's right there!"
"I have extended my wing to cover you."
The words caught Dean so off-guard that he could only stare at his lover, mouth hanging open, for a few seconds. "You- what?"
"I am covering you with my wing, he cannot see anything other than your head."
Dean's eyes darted back towards Michael, desperately seeking some hint of what his angel was saying, but finding absolutely none. There wasn't even so much as a shadow to be seen and it filled him with a sudden aching sense of loss though, logically, he knew that he hadn't lost anything. It was a sharp reminder that Castiel was neither human nor able to share his true form with him and it both saddened and hurt him in a way he hadn't imagined was possible. It also caused a sudden fierce longing to really see and know his lover as he truly was instead of filtered via a human vessel, though he knew it wasn't possible. Out of nowhere he wondered if he could convince Castiel to show him his true form and for his angel to then heal the resulting damage afterwards, but he sincerely doubted he'd be able to talk his lover into doing that even if he begged for it.
The moment seemed to pass when he suddenly found himself clothed once more and Castiel shifted on the bed, turning his attention towards his brother. Despite that, Dean carefully filed the knowledge and his reactions to it away for further contemplation when he had the time. Right after he thought of the other stuff first.
"The venom is gone, I see," Michael stated, face curiously closed off for him.
"Yes," Castiel confirmed.
And what? Dean shook his head a little, hoping to force aside all of the thoughts and realizations that were overwhelming him in order to focus on what was happening now. "Huh?"
"The succubus' venom was still in your system when I left before," Michael explained.
"Oh, you get rid of it, Cas?" Dean asked.
"We were unable to remove it in the manner you mean," Castiel replied. "You were too far gone under its influence to recognize that we intended to help and therefore you would probably have resisted, resulting in you being damaged and hurt."
"So how'd you get rid of it?" Before either angel could answer, Dean's eyes widened as he suddenly got it. "Oh, wait, you mean...?"
"Yes, Dean."
"Ah, I see."
Unable to help himself, Dean's eyes darted to Michael, expecting to find either fury and disgust- or both- on his face, but he couldn't detect traces of either emotion. Instead the archangel's expression was blank and nonjudgmental, a fact which really surprised him.
"Was there something you needed, Brother?" Castiel asked.
"No, I merely realized that you did not know how to make an exception to the sigils cloaking Dean from our sight and thought it best to rectify the situation as quickly as possible."
"An exception?" Dean questioned, right hand automatically coming up to touch his chest.
"Yes. It is possible to adjust the sigils so that specific angels are still able to find you."
"How?" Castiel demanded, rising to his feet.
"It would be easier to show you. If Dean does not object."
"To letting Cas know where I am?" Dean said. "No, of course not."
He tilted his head consideringly, only realizing after he'd done it how Castiel-like of a thing it was to do (as if he didn't have enough things to think about later!). Michael had already stepped closer and placed a hand on his chest before Dean came to a decision.
"Add yourself in there as well."
Dean met his lover's eyes as he said it, wondering if he'd find disapproval, but Castiel merely nodded in agreement. Michael had proven himself as far as he was concerned and he was glad his angel agreed. Sure, the guy was still a bastard most of the time and infuriated him more often then not, but he'd definitely come through for him when he'd needed him the most and he figured it was the least he could do in return.
The emotion that flashed through Michael's eyes was gone too quickly for Dean to decipher and the archangel was speaking before he could think to question it. "Raphael?"
"No," Dean replied immediately.
"Very well."
Chapter 41
Rating: R
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 3,344
Summary: The morning after the attack.
PAST
Consciousness returned to Dean slowly as it did so often lately. As a result, he didn't immediately worry or realize that something wasn't right. When he did, it was to notice that the haze around his mind wasn't due to slowly receding sleep, but rather as a result of a drug. The realization caused panic to flare deep in his gut and he immediately started to struggle against it, trying desperately to recall what had happened.
"Shh, it's okay, Dean, shh," Castiel's voice suddenly penetrated the haze as fingers carted softly through his hair.
Dean was surprised at how quickly he reacted, the terror vanishing almost immediately. He still fought to wake up as it was obvious that something had gone wrong, but his lover's presence clearly indicated that any danger had passed. Then two fingers touched his forehead and the haze cleared, allowing him to open his eyes. When he did so, it was to look right into Castiel's as the angel was leaning over him, observing him with a slight frown on his face.
"What happened?" Dean inquired, still not able to remember much.
A careful check of his body led him to the discovery that while he wasn't hurt- an unlikely possibility given his lover's penchant for healing any and all injuries he had, no matter how small-, he ached pleasantly in a very familiar way. He'd had sex recently, vigorous sex and, based on where he didn't ache, he'd topped. Although it wasn't his first time not remembering having had sex, it was his first with Castiel and he didn't like that. At all. It wasn't just about having a good time with his angel and he didn't like the thought that he might have done something or taken something that would have affected his memory.
He blinked at the thought. Dean had been serious when he'd told Castiel that he'd drink less and, so far, had not only managed to keep his promise, but planned to keep doing so. So what the hell else could have made him lose time like that? Especially since he'd done something so good as having sex? If he'd woken up without the pleasant muscle aches, he'd have thought it was the result of a hunt gone bad, but he just couldn't see his angel allowing him to distract him with sex if that was the case. Most especially if he'd been drugged or poisoned somehow.
"You don't remember," Castiel stated.
The mixed look of relief and concern on his angel's face worried Dean even more. What could possibly be good about him not remembering what had happened? Surely it couldn't have been that bad.
"Cas, what happened?"
Castiel looked unhappy, as if he'd rather not tell him, but Dean could already detect resignation on his face as well. It made his heart clench and a wave of what he now recognized as love to wash over him at how well his lover knew him. If it had been Sam or Bobby in Castiel's place, he knew he'd have to beg or cajole to get the full story out of them regardless of the fact that it had happened to him and he had a right to know about it. They had no right to make those kinds of decisions for him. His angel, though, knew him well enough not to do so even if perhaps he wanted to. The desire to protect him didn't go unnoticed and it warmed him on a level he didn't really want to look too closely at, new revelation or not.
The thought froze him in his mental tracks and Dean's eyes opened wide and the breath caught in his throat as he thought back over his internal musings. New revelation. Wave of love. What the hell? His breathing sped up all of a sudden as bits and pieces of the previous evening came rushing back to him. The bar where he'd gone to hustle pool. The stunning chick who hadn't taken no for an answer. His fleeing to the bathroom. The thrall. The burning need, want, lust that had risen within him and seemed to consume him whole. The absolutely desperate urge to fuck someone, anyone. This last filled him with cold, horror and dread, nearly choking him as he remembered having her on top of him, undoing his belt, followed swiftly by the memory of having someone riding him.
The memories at the end were all blurry though, no more than half remembered images and fragments, so a lot of it was unclear and hazy to the point that he didn't actually know who he'd fucked and that caused panic to flare in his gut once more.
"Oh, God!" Dean said, completely forgetting not to blaspheme before his angel. "Cas, tell me I didn't- shit, fuck. Just..."
"Dean-"
"Please tell me I didn't cheat on you!"
Castiel's face became fierce and a hand shot out to grab his chin so that Dean couldn't turn his head away. Couldn't do anything but meet his lover's eye and crap, but he hated it sometimes that his angel knew him so well.
"You were in thrall and poisoned with her venom, Dean," Castiel started. "It would not have been cheating if you had lain with her. It would have been rape."
Even though his eyes were wide at the absolute conviction, fierceness and underlying rage in Castiel's voice, Dean didn't miss the keywords in his speech. Would have been. It was amazing and damn near unbelievable, the sheer relief those words managed to produce within him and he deflated back onto the bed. Now that his panic had bled away, he realized that not only were they both naked, but they were laying on top of the sheets, a sure sign that they'd fallen into bed quite frantic.
"How much do you remember?"
"Just bits and pieces," Dean replied. "Everything's pretty clear up to getting back to the room, but then it starts to get patchy."
"She had you in thrall at least long enough to douse you with her venom."
"Yeah, I know, I didn't realize what she was until far too late. Thought she was just a human, someone who didn't want to take no for an answer."
"She approached you before the attack?"
Castiel's word choice wasn't lost on Dean, but he chose to let it go, not wanting to argue about it now. "Yeah, at the bar where I was hustling," somehow it was important to add in that latter detail as he didn't want his lover to think he'd been out drinking, not after what he'd promised. "Thought she was just another chick. Stupid, fucking, rookie mistake!"
"Enough, Dean," Castiel commanded firmly. "She was a copniry succubus and they are experts at blending in. Without a trail of victims, you had no way of knowing what she was."
"I'm a hunter, damnit, I should be able to tell a creature from a human!"
"Dean-"
"She knew what I was!" The words were out of his mouth as soon as the memory came to him. "Fuck, I wish I could remember it all." Not only did he hate not knowing what had happened to him, but he knew something important had transpired. Something that had put the word 'love' into his head. "What happened to her anyway? Did you drop by just in time to rescue me?"
"No, you saved yourself, really."
"Huh? I know that I can't remember all of it, Cas, but I know I was in no condition to do anything."
"You shouldn't have been," Castiel corrected. "Not with the amount of venom in your system and the pheromones in the air. Yet despite that, you managed to stay coherent enough to realize how to summon help and then to do so."
The words stirred another vague memory, but it wasn't enough for him. He wanted more, he needed more. "Michael? I called Michael?"
"Yes."
"He killed her?"
"Yes, and then he summoned me when you wouldn't let him help you. That was something else you shouldn't have been able to do, differentiate between people and show a preference, but you did."
The words allowed Dean to relax enough to actually close his eyes and he tried desperately to remember more of what had happened. The memories, though, refused to come and it frustrated him to no end. He must have made a face as there was a sigh above him before fingers brushed his forehead. Something seemed to click in his mind and everything came rushing back to him, but it wasn't like his Hell flashbacks that had at times seemed to be a literal reliving of the events. Though he now recalled everything that had happened to him last night, it all had some distance to it so it didn't overwhelm him as it otherwise might have.
Grateful beyond words, Dean surged up to kiss his lover, trying to convey his thanks to Castiel in the only way that he could. What started out fevered and borderline frantic as he sought to show his lover the depth of his feelings slowly mellowed and became far slower, but also far more tender. The change reminded him of his realization and he struggled to focus on it even as his angel's nearness and nakedness threatened to rob him of all rational thought. Despite that, it fit so well that he couldn't believe how he'd missed it all before; how he'd managed to delude himself into thinking it was anything less than what it truly was.
When Castiel pulled back so that he could breathe, Dean struggled to do so, all of his attention focused so completely on his lover. Wonder and awe filled him as he never thought he'd ever be able to really love someone the way his father had his mother or the way Sam had clearly loved Jess. But there was also fear, it pulsed hard and fast beneath all of the other emotions, but no less strong because of that. He'd seen the way his father and brother had ended up because of their love and that had been when Mom and Jess had been snatched from them. How much worse would it be for him when Castiel left voluntarily to go back to Heaven?
"I'm sorry," Castiel said suddenly, voice gone grave.
Dean blinked in confusion, frowning as he tried to figure out what had just happened and where the mood had gone. "what?"
Although they both could stop instantly if the need arose- their close encounter down in Mississippi when Castiel had surprised him outside a bar for one only for them to nearly be interrupted by a group leaving the bar- neither of them had ever turned off so fast before for no apparent reason. Dean didn't like this change of events in the slightest and felt a deep pang of hurt at it.
"If I had realized how poorly you understood my feelings for you, I would have remedied the situation far sooner."
And what? Dean was totally lost now, completely unable to follow what his lover was trying to say. "Uh, Cas? What do you mean? I know you like me."
Apparently that was the wrong thing to say as Castiel's face tightened and Dean tried desperately to figure out how he'd fucked it up now. He'd never been good with words and that was why he hated chick flick moments with such a vengeance; he inevitably said the wrong thing and pissed someone off without intending to do so at all. Sam in particular had always seemed frustrated and annoyed with him at those times.
"Why can you never see yourself for what you truly are?" Castiel questioned in frustration.
"Uh... is this about the succubus? Because I know I fucked up there."
"No, Dean, you didn't. The fault was mine."
"Yours? How the hell do you figure that?" Dean demanded, anger flickering to life within him. "I'm the one that was weak enough to give her the opening she needed."
"And I am the reason why that opening existed. If I had only made sure that you knew how I felt about you, she would not have been able to rob you of your reason."
"Cas?"
Dean didn't like the uncertainty even he could detect in his own voice, but he couldn't help it. Castiel clearly disagreed with his assessment of the angel's feelings for him and that caused fear to rise within him. Had he been wrong to think that his lover cared for him? Surely he hadn't gotten that wrong. He couldn't imagine that he had, not after everything that had transpired between them, but what else could his angel mean?
"Dean, I love you."
Those four words were enough to completely freeze Dean in his tracks, leaving him to stare at Castiel in shock and disbelief. "I- you- what?!"
Anger briefly flickered in Castiel's eyes, but it was gone again almost just as quickly and Dean had no brain cells free to even think about trying to process that. All of them were still stuck on his lover's declaration, completely unable to process it. It was as if his entire ability to think had just shut down completely and gone offline for an indeterminate amount of time.
"I don't merely like or care for you, Dean, I love you," Castiel said slowly and carefully, pronouncing each word separately as if afraid that he would miss them.
Despite that, Dean was still no more able to process or comprehend them then he was earlier. He felt like he was in shock, the meaning of the words far too big and significant for him to take them in. What it would mean... They changed everything in a way that he wasn't yet able to deal with and thus his mind rejected them. Refuted them as impossible even in light of the fact that he couldn't think of a single instance in which his lover had lied to him about something like this. Time ticked by as he struggled to find a way to react and restart his mind and-
"I love you," Dean stated before he even realized he was going to speak.
Castiel's face softened and a hand came up to touch his face. "I know."
He knew? How the hell could his lover know that when he himself hadn't known? Dean felt himself adrift in a wash of emotions and truths he wasn't sure how to deal with or take in and it was a wonder that he didn't begin to panic or feel the need to start spouting off hurtful and defensive words as he tried to raise one of his fallen shields. He found it next to impossible to conjure up those emotions, though, his mind and body far too used to the safety and security Castiel offered for them to kick in now when another threat was so clearly lacking.
The silence was just starting to stretch out too far when the sudden, unexpected flutter of wings had Dean's eyes darting towards the sound, senses instantly going on full alert. The only angel he completely trusted was already in the room with him and thus the sound was cause for caution at the very least. Michael's sudden appearance in the room had him relaxing just before he recalled his and Castiel's naked state and self-consciousness kicked in. His face flushed and he tried to role away so he could scramble about for some clothing when his lover's hands stopped him.
"Dean, it's okay, he cannot see you," Castiel declared.
"What do you mean he can't see me? He's right there!"
"I have extended my wing to cover you."
The words caught Dean so off-guard that he could only stare at his lover, mouth hanging open, for a few seconds. "You- what?"
"I am covering you with my wing, he cannot see anything other than your head."
Dean's eyes darted back towards Michael, desperately seeking some hint of what his angel was saying, but finding absolutely none. There wasn't even so much as a shadow to be seen and it filled him with a sudden aching sense of loss though, logically, he knew that he hadn't lost anything. It was a sharp reminder that Castiel was neither human nor able to share his true form with him and it both saddened and hurt him in a way he hadn't imagined was possible. It also caused a sudden fierce longing to really see and know his lover as he truly was instead of filtered via a human vessel, though he knew it wasn't possible. Out of nowhere he wondered if he could convince Castiel to show him his true form and for his angel to then heal the resulting damage afterwards, but he sincerely doubted he'd be able to talk his lover into doing that even if he begged for it.
The moment seemed to pass when he suddenly found himself clothed once more and Castiel shifted on the bed, turning his attention towards his brother. Despite that, Dean carefully filed the knowledge and his reactions to it away for further contemplation when he had the time. Right after he thought of the other stuff first.
"The venom is gone, I see," Michael stated, face curiously closed off for him.
"Yes," Castiel confirmed.
And what? Dean shook his head a little, hoping to force aside all of the thoughts and realizations that were overwhelming him in order to focus on what was happening now. "Huh?"
"The succubus' venom was still in your system when I left before," Michael explained.
"Oh, you get rid of it, Cas?" Dean asked.
"We were unable to remove it in the manner you mean," Castiel replied. "You were too far gone under its influence to recognize that we intended to help and therefore you would probably have resisted, resulting in you being damaged and hurt."
"So how'd you get rid of it?" Before either angel could answer, Dean's eyes widened as he suddenly got it. "Oh, wait, you mean...?"
"Yes, Dean."
"Ah, I see."
Unable to help himself, Dean's eyes darted to Michael, expecting to find either fury and disgust- or both- on his face, but he couldn't detect traces of either emotion. Instead the archangel's expression was blank and nonjudgmental, a fact which really surprised him.
"Was there something you needed, Brother?" Castiel asked.
"No, I merely realized that you did not know how to make an exception to the sigils cloaking Dean from our sight and thought it best to rectify the situation as quickly as possible."
"An exception?" Dean questioned, right hand automatically coming up to touch his chest.
"Yes. It is possible to adjust the sigils so that specific angels are still able to find you."
"How?" Castiel demanded, rising to his feet.
"It would be easier to show you. If Dean does not object."
"To letting Cas know where I am?" Dean said. "No, of course not."
He tilted his head consideringly, only realizing after he'd done it how Castiel-like of a thing it was to do (as if he didn't have enough things to think about later!). Michael had already stepped closer and placed a hand on his chest before Dean came to a decision.
"Add yourself in there as well."
Dean met his lover's eyes as he said it, wondering if he'd find disapproval, but Castiel merely nodded in agreement. Michael had proven himself as far as he was concerned and he was glad his angel agreed. Sure, the guy was still a bastard most of the time and infuriated him more often then not, but he'd definitely come through for him when he'd needed him the most and he figured it was the least he could do in return.
The emotion that flashed through Michael's eyes was gone too quickly for Dean to decipher and the archangel was speaking before he could think to question it. "Raphael?"
"No," Dean replied immediately.
"Very well."
Chapter 41