Part 04 - Chapter 11 - Commitments (NC17)
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Chapter 11 - Commitments(NC17)
I slide from the bed on wobbly legs and am amazed by the incredible intensity of loving this man. I have known him for centuries and yet being able to hold him, touch him, make love to him like this is so incredibly different and sadly I now understand why what I was able to offer him after the war in terms of comfort was far too little.
The sheer comfort of holding him in my arms and being held in his is so different than the mental lovemaking we have shared in the past. We are so tired too - I have never really appreciated before the way the intense chemical reactions take a physical toll. I look down and realize too how messy this whole process is, but there is something about being bathed in our combined scent, in spite of the mess, that makes it worth it and makes me feel very loved indeed.
I pause, leaning against the nearby wall as I move the hot tub room to connect to this bedroom and the bedroom he and Rose had been sharing. I know it has been bothering him being in the bedroom he used in his fourth regeneration but I wasn’t ready to share our room with him yet and I didn’t want him to start thinking of it as just his room again. I know I was being selfish and a bit childish about not giving in to his desire earlier but as he so correctly guessed I was, and if I am honest, still am somewhat mad at him for leaving us behind like he did. I know he, as a rule, really dislikes his old bedrooms, as they tend to remind him of his own mortality and as he rarely has similar tastes regarding décor so he prefers to make a clean break when he changes rather than try to make the old things fit.
The warmth of his arm sliding around me brings me back to the present and I look up, realizing how long I have been standing here.
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I watch as Rose crosses the room and I can feel how tired she is from here. I know how tired I feel and I haven’t had to adjust to a whole new body like she has. I still marvel at what happened today with my hand though and realize it makes a lot more sense in the perspective of what I have now learned. In spite of our similar outward appearances there are a lot of internal differences between Humans and Gallifreyans. Binary vascular, and respiratory by-pass systems extensive ability to regulate our own bodies functioning and quite a few other systems that operate in a more complex manner not the least of which is our central nervous system and brains. I am actually surprised she is managing as well as she is considering all the mental rewiring that had to have happened to produce the obvious mental connections between Verity’s TARDIS body and hers. It doesn’t surprise me, as I think about it how sensitive her body is with all the changes, why she has so strongly reacted to physical stimulation. I know even in my own changes, my body is hypersensitive to so many things right after regeneration. I will need to be extra gentle with her. She may be fine, but it is still best to be careful, brains can be very delicate things. No question hers has had quite the shock, even without factoring in the huge increase in information she is getting from her new senses.
I reach out and pull her into my side so she can lean on me and gently I guide her through the bathroom to the sunken hot tub pool that is now on the other side of the shower door. We walk over to the steps and I don't release my hold on her but instead guide her down the steps. The temperature is perfect and I smile as I realize Verity must have adjusted it to the lower heat that I prefer rather than what I have had her setting the temperature to in the tubs which Rose and I normally share and at which Rose had felt more comfortable.
"Figured it might be more comfortable this way now. Why did you never tell me it was hotter than you liked?" Her quiet words surprise me as I hadn't thought it though, realizing that going forward I won’t have to be broadcasting for her to be able to pick up my thoughts any more than I have had to make a special effort for Verity. The fact that the default in my life is once again connected not separate partly terrifies me even as another part is comforted by no longer being alone in my head. Swallowing, I go to reply but not really having any answer I just shrug instead.
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I am so tired but the sight of the hot tub really does look inviting. This small grotto I know is one of his favorites looks much like secluded small mountain lake. Only the steps leading down into the water really give away the fact that it’s not what it appears. The plants that surround the pool love the warmth and moisture generated by the hot tub and a number of the plants put out pleasant soothing scents. One of the connected spaces is a small, forested area of a few acres that contains a variety of semi-tame wildlife that will often come to drink here. We keep no predators so the animals can be quite bold at times. Something that never seems to quit delighting him and thus me is when they approach him without hesitation. He has never given any of them reason to fear him it is just the nature of wild animals, particularly herbivores everywhere, to be wary of possible predators. Theta has always been a study in contrasts but never more so than in this regeneration, something that more than once has been a point of frustration for both Rose and I. The gruff face he puts out for the world in sharp contrast to his gentleness and appreciation of the plants and animals here is just one example of many.
I delight in the tender way he guides us into the pool, I know he has figured out in spite of our attempts to hide it that we are really far more tired than we had thought. As we enter I catch his appreciation of the temperature change and realize he had never let on that the greater heat bothered him as he always insisted the hot tubs they shared be set to be more comfortable to Rose.
I feel his slight start as Rose asks him why. At the discomfort that I pick up at the thought that we red his mind we reach out and caress the side of his cheek. “It’s just me, were not going to hurt you Theta.” Even as I speak the words though. I know that it is going to take us some time for all of us to get used to this. I feel Rose’s panic that he doesn’t want us and try not to join her in that, not the easiest task when you share a mind with someone. Instead I try to lose us in the act of touching him. We have moved chest deep in the water and I lean into his solid frame loving the feel of his slick skin and hugging myself up tight up to him I gently lick at the edge of his left clavicle. I think of the differences between Humans and Gallifreyans as I listen to his hearts begin to race in reaction to the stimulation of that dense cluster of nerves. Never had Rose suspected how sensitive he was there, yet one of the many pieces of information he had hidden. He has tried to protect himself from those that would exploit such information to hurt him even as he had, unsuccessfully, in the same way tried to protect his hearts from falling in love with Rose by not telling her many things about himself.
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I draw her in, caressing her, marveling at what has brought us here. As I feel her lips on my neck I shiver in pleasure. In response, I caress her hair and move down to pull her tighter as she presses close softly kissing her hair as I do so. Her skin is so soft and all wet and slippery it just adds to the sensations as I glide my hands down her body and gently cup the firm yet still so soft cheeks of her bum. As I slowly explore her curves, her hands aren’t still either,
I tense for a moment as her fingers seek out the clusters of nerves along the bottom of my shoulder blades teasing them with gentle strokes until I feel her slide deeper into my mind as her touch opens the enhanced mental connection those nerves were designed to facilitate between our people during sex. I feel Rose's surprise as she does, as well as Verity's delight at successfully making a connection in this manner. Closing my eyes, I focus on the sensations, warm and wet and Rose, no, not just Rose but my Verity too. It’s so hard for me to believe that they would want this, but there is no denying the proof I hold in my arms and mind.
I gasp as I feel a charge of pleasure run from her spread fingertip straight down to my groin causing me to buck forward into her and feel her slight amusement as it causes the water between us to splash. I look down and am surprised to see her smiling up at me and hear her soft thought. ‘You’re thinking too much, Theta. Now what are we going to do about that? Hmmm?’ As she says this I remember an occasion shortly after we first became lovers when she had said some very naughty things in order to ensure I was paying attention then proceeded to act on them. As I remember this I see her mischievous expression and I know she remembers the time as well as she slides up my body to whisper in my ear. “Would you like me to do that again?”
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He gently pushes us back so he can look us in the eyes saying. "You know how I feel about that," and I feel a shot of lust shoot to my core from him at the thought. "But I want to make love to you."
At his final statement I shiver and my whole body gets goose bumps at his words, spoken not in human words or voice, but melodically, tenderly, and in an almost dead language, our language now.
I respond in the only way I can in the same language, but I do not speak the words aloud not trusting my mouth and voice to be able to say these words correctly so I say it mind to mind. 'I love you Theta,' and in this Verity and I are in complete agreement and we feel his understanding that the words are from both of us in spite of being in a language I didn't previously know prior to our merging.
As I do I know that the time is right for him to fully understand the depth of our feelings so I reach out and place a palm over each of his hearts. Speaking words of which I know he will immediately know the meaning and request behind. This time I do speak aloud as it was, at one time, necessary to be legally binding. I know that even if he does not choose to return our words and act on their explicit request they will be no less true. Locking gazes with him I state, "I, Rose Verity Marion TARDIS Taylor, for all time pledge to you the beating of my hearts and the devotion of my love. For all time we are yours."
For a long moment I can feel his hearts race beneath my palms as he struggles with surprise and intense emotions. I feel the strength of the feelings welling up within him and it forces him to take a deep breath before he can respond, and respond he does as he comes to a decision. Far more fluidly than I, using all of his voice in ways I never have heard him use in Rose’s presence.
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I am stunned as she speaks the simple words of a permanent marriage commitment and I can feel the truth and desire as clear as can be from both of them as she speaks them. The multiple connections between or minds make their desire clearly resound in my mind. My first reaction being that she doesn’t know what she is saying, which is immediately dismissed. Verity knows and Rose wouldn’t even know the words to ask if it were not for their merging. It is so incredibly hard to believe that she, they want this with me, as broken and damaged as they both know I am it seems impossible, but her every action in the last seventy-two hours has spoken very clearly of how fully they know their own minds in this matter. What they were willing to give up to be with me and I know I would have to be a fool to turn my back on such a gift so freely and lovingly given. Even as I think this through I am amazed by them and know there is nothing in this universe I want more than to spend the rest of my lives getting to know this incredible set of ladies who have bound themselves together into one being for my sake.
With this understanding, I finally consciously accept that which my hearts have known for a long time - she already owns both my body and mind. Fighting my own continuing disbelief I look deep into her eyes for some indication this is not really their desire, any kind of hesitation or nervousness; and find none.
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He leans forward, looking deeply into our eyes, and I know he is asking if this is really what we want. At my nod, he places his palms on my back directly behind each of my racing hearts and speaking in a rich melodious voice that I am sure would make angels weep from it's beauty as he replies, "I, Theta Sigma of the House of Lungburrow, pledge all my lives to you. I give to you all I am for eternity and declare, the universe as my witness, to be, here forth, your champion, lover, and friend for all of time.”
With the word forever on our lips we seal our bond with a kiss and I hold on to him for dear life, as I know what will come next. Even as I think of it I feel the tendrils of his being reaching out, every spot where our bodies are in contact begins to hum with energy, a steady powerful vibration that sets the water surrounding us to shimmying.
I place my head on his shoulder and slide my hands around to mirror the placement of his on my back and gripping him a bit tighter I begin to pant as the energy he is unleashing surrounds me pressing in on me and possessing me. Even as I do we are pressing our own energy out in possession of him. We are permeating each of his cells marking him as our own even as his does the same to us. Our bodies are shimmering, enveloped in Arton energy. I can't speak, can't even breathe, as the energy continues to build we are no longer separate, he is with us. Images begin to flash through our mind faster then I can properly assimilate; images of the towers and spires of our lost home world and dozens of others we have traveled to, images of Rose's childhood at the estates on earth, the disappointments and far more fleeting joys of his time at the academy, the warmth of growing in TARDIS nurseries and joy of my first flight, the incredible joy of our first bonding and our travels with Susan, Jackie's tender care of her only child and the sadness of not having a dad mix with Theta's memories of his own father. Our minds are shoved together irresistibly. Where before we were bound together as Bad Wolf by the Vortex now we are again fully Bad Wolf, one being, but we are also the Oncoming Storm as our life energies flow freely, mingling between us, healing our individual brokenness and binding us together. As the energy reaches our core we begin to twist and buck in each other’s arms the blazing liquid pleasure moving from organ to organ, bringing on the most intense pleasure we have ever experienced as our minds link together with his in an unbreakable bond. Just when it reaches the point where I feel I can't last another moment with out bursting into the flames of regeneration from the intensity of it, our energy separates and rushes back to it source within us. It happens so quickly I know if he weren’t holding me I would collapse and I can feel his body shaking even as mine is but still he is more stable than I am, though not by a lot. For long minutes we stand in the pool plastered together feeling the passing of each moment with intense clarity, the movement of the universe and the flow of the Vortex. Knowing now there is no place in this universe where we will be unable to sense each other’s life force on a cellular level.
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The exhaustion hits as the bonding completes and I feel Wolf’s knees buckle and I hold her just a bit tighter till she can get her legs under her again. For long minutes all either of us is up to is to just stand holding each other the bright blaze of the new bond is sharp and intense in our mindscape, far stronger and more permanent than any other connection we have ever or will ever make. I know we need to move as both of us are far too tired to remain in this warm water and I finally have some hope now of not falling down in the process. Guiding us over to the shallower side of the hot tub pool we sit for a few moments snuggled into each other, and I brush the damp hair from her tired, glazed eyes. Gently I rinse away the final traces of why we had come into the tub in the first place and pick her up. She begins to protest, but after a moment of consideration instead curls further into my chest as I carry her up the stairs leading out of the water heading for our bedroom. Unsure why I delight so in seeing one of the rabbit like animals that live in this area sitting and watching us. As I pause Rose looks up and smiles as she too spots our furry little friend. Much as I would enjoy some other time getting some treats for him, today that is not on the agenda, and I continue forward to our bedroom door which promises warm clean bedding in which I can snuggle and get much needed sleep with my new bride.
Chapter 11b - Getting to Know You (NC17)
Moving Forward Story Index 1