Late-Night Text Messages
This is my first How I Met Your Mother fic. Surprisingly, it is not my amazing BrOTP, but slightly Barney/Lily gen. Also, criticism is appreciated.
Title: Late-Night Text Messages
Rating: PG
Wordcount: approx. 1100
Pairings: some Barney/Lily and Barney/Robin
Genre: fluffy, angst
Summary: Barney said that he needed to talk, and Lily was there to help him. Tag for "Benefits".
Late-Night Text Messages
Come over. I have to talk to you.
Lily thought about the text as she knocked on Barney’s door. What had happened? Had he finally decided to let Robin know how he felt? It would certainly be more helpful than hijacking Feely the Share Bear. Ben’s mother had called her, and she’d had to tell the kids about the dangers of smoking.
The door opened, and Lily had to stifle a gasp.
Barney looked like crap. She could smell the alcohol on him from a foot away, and there were some very obvious stains on what she could only assume was an expensive shirt. But that was nothing compared to the look on his face.
“Oh, Barney,” she said. “What happened?”
“Oh, nothing,” he said. “It’s just that Robin’s never gonna like me. Ever.”
“I think you’d better sit down,” Lily said. Barney let her in, and she sat down on his couch. There was a bottle of empty scotch on the floor, and Lily couldn’t help but notice the way he stumbled over the step as he walked to join her, and all of a sudden she hated Robin.
“So. What happened?” Lily didn’t want to hear the answer.
“Well, I was going to tell Ted about Robin - he knows about Robin - and then she was there. Anyway, she and Ted broke up.”
“That’s good.”
“Yeah. I thought so, too. But then she was all like, ‘Ted’s getting feelings for me, and relationships with friends don’t work out’, and she’s never going to think of me as more than a friend.” Barney leaned over as if he were about to hurl. “She’ll never love me.”
“You should’ve told her! If she knew what she meant to you, I’m sure she’d change her mind about the friends thing.”
“But I did tell her!”
“You did?” Lily knew that happiness wasn’t an appropriate response when he looked so distraught, but she couldn’t ignore it. She was proud of him. Who would’ve thought that Barney - childish, womanizing, emotionally-repressed Barney - would ever tell a woman that he loved her? “So, does she not feel the same way?”
“She didn’t say. She thought I was talking about Ted.”
“She thinks you’re in love with Ted?”
“No! She thinks that Ted’s in love with her.” Barney squeezed his eyes shut. “Or something. I kind of went from happy that they weren’t having sex to sad because we’re never going to have sex again, so I might have missed a few details.”
“Oh.” Lily said. “Well, it sounds to me like Robin’s a little confused right now. Just because she and Ted didn’t work out, she thinks that friends can never date. But if you make it clear to her that you’re in love with her, I know she’ll give you a chance.”
“No, you don’t.” Barney said. “She doesn’t want to be with me, and if I talk to her about it, she’ll reject me. I feel like crap now, but if she knew how I felt and still didn’t want me... I can’t do it.”
Lily thought about making a vaguely encouraging comment, but instead she just rubbed Barney’s arm as he stared at the wall.
Barney shook his head. “This wasn’t supposed to happen again. Ever. Love sucked the first time, and it sucks now.”
Lily thought about Shannon, and Barney’s tape. Christ, no wonder he was so messed up over Robin.
“Listen,” Lily said. “You’re going to go to sleep now. You’ll feel better in the morning.” He shook his head. Lily stood up and pulled him to his feet. “Come on.”
She walked him over to his room. Barney stood there, looking around. He looked miserable and pathetic and Lily had to bite her lip to stop herself from telling him that Robin could go to hell. How could she be so oblivious? She must’ve seen his face. She should’ve been able to figure it out.
“Get ready for bed,” Lily said, using the same slow, even tone that she used with her students. “I’ll go get you a glass of water.”
When Lily came back, Barney was sitting on his bed, wearing nothing but his boxers. She handed him the glass of water, and he nodded. He pulled the covers up to his waist. Lily sat down on the edge of the bed, next to him.
“Thanks for coming over,” Barney said.
“No problem,” said Lily. “I mean, you went all the way to San Francisco for me.”
“I’d always wanted to visit San Francisco,” Barney said, like it was nothing. “Besides, everyone knows that you and Marshall were made for each other.” Another silence. “If I were you, I wouldn’t put up with me.”
“Don’t be stupid. Why wouldn’t I?”
Barney didn’t answer. Lily didn’t press the issue. Instead she just patted what she hoped was his leg.
“I’m gonna go. Marshall will be home soon.”
“OK,” Barney said. And the look he gave her then, so hopeless and lonely, made her lean over and give him a hug. At first he didn’t hug her back, but then she felt his arms around her. Neither of them said anything.
She gave him one last squeeze and loosened her grip. But then she was staring at him, and she didn’t quite know how to move. She felt Barney’s hands go to her face, and still Lily didn’t react. It was only when he was leaning in that Lily put her fingers against his lips.
“This isn’t a good idea.” She was very pointedly not making eye contact.
“What do you mean?” Barney asked, his breath tickling her fingers.
“If you kiss me now, it’ll all seem fine. But tomorrow you’ll hate yourself for it, and I’ll hate myself for it, because you love Robin and I love Marshall.” She sighed. “And frankly, I don’t think self-loathing is what you need right now.”
Barney nodded, very slightly. His hands dropped to his sides, and Lily lowered her own hand.
“Goodbye. See you tomorrow, OK?”
Barney nodded again, and Lily got up and left. She walked straight home.
* * *
It wasn’t until she was opening the door to her apartment that she noticed her phone buzzing in her purse. She pulled it out and saw a text from Barney. She gulped and read it.
You’re a good friend, Lily.
Lily smiled. And, with no hesitation, she turned off her phone and went inside.