Love's grand adventure
20 minute musings. I'm pretty sure I totally failed my finance exam yesterday. ^^;
------------------
When he had been a little boy, he had listened to his sisters’ fairy tales and imagined love. He’d imagined the great adventure, and as he grew a little older, the passionate explosion of feelings that would sweep him away. He’d always thought it was something he would recognise the instant it appeared, that it would consume his life and that fireworks and bright lights would fill his world when they touched.
Eventually, he had understood what fairytales meant, and that in real life, things were different. There was no fairy godmother to make things happen the way you wished - the only way to achieve your dreams was to go after them.
But still. Somewhere in his heart, he still believed in the grand adventure of love.
Jaejoong loved what he thought was a great many people. He was lucky, in that he knew who was close to his heart and who he held dear. His parents, his biological mother, his sisters and of course his band brothers. He loved his parents, for taking him in, for loving him and supporting him. He loved his mother for carrying him and birthing him, and being part of his life now. He loved his sisters, for accepting him and for always caring. And he loved his brothers, for understanding. For being so much a part of him that he couldn’t see where he ended and they began.
When he was twenty though, he realised that there was a new type of love in his heart, one he hadn’t noticed as it grew from a grain of sand to a pale pearl. He was unsure why or how, but he treasured it deeply. He wrapped it in silk and hung it in his heart. In his quiet moments, he took out the pearl and smiled at the warmth it gave him, how it soothed his soul and calmed his thoughts. He smiled at the way it fitted so easily into him, and the way it shone brightly when Yunho’s hand touched his or how it shimmered when Yunho’s eyes met his.
He found that love was not the great adventure he had imagined. He found that love had slipped into his life unnoticed, subtly making things a little more whole, a little brighter, making things just a little more. It didn’t burn so much as glow. It didn’t overwhelm him so much as sit in his heart, whispering truths, and in his eyes, showing him colours.
There was no great passion, or fiery romantic gestures. There was a quirky smile thrown over the back of their youngest brother. There was the soft hand that steadied him when he might have fallen. There was the look of understanding when things got tough. There was the warmth of a hug when it was most needed. It was the soft brush of lips before bed and the safe, familiar embrace under the covers. There were all the spoken words of support and understanding, and all the unspoken ones that hung comfortably between them. There was everything that made living beautiful.
He was not a little boy anymore, and he knew love was not a grand adventure. For him, love was everyday life, made better. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.
------------------
When he had been a little boy, he had listened to his sisters’ fairy tales and imagined love. He’d imagined the great adventure, and as he grew a little older, the passionate explosion of feelings that would sweep him away. He’d always thought it was something he would recognise the instant it appeared, that it would consume his life and that fireworks and bright lights would fill his world when they touched.
Eventually, he had understood what fairytales meant, and that in real life, things were different. There was no fairy godmother to make things happen the way you wished - the only way to achieve your dreams was to go after them.
But still. Somewhere in his heart, he still believed in the grand adventure of love.
Jaejoong loved what he thought was a great many people. He was lucky, in that he knew who was close to his heart and who he held dear. His parents, his biological mother, his sisters and of course his band brothers. He loved his parents, for taking him in, for loving him and supporting him. He loved his mother for carrying him and birthing him, and being part of his life now. He loved his sisters, for accepting him and for always caring. And he loved his brothers, for understanding. For being so much a part of him that he couldn’t see where he ended and they began.
When he was twenty though, he realised that there was a new type of love in his heart, one he hadn’t noticed as it grew from a grain of sand to a pale pearl. He was unsure why or how, but he treasured it deeply. He wrapped it in silk and hung it in his heart. In his quiet moments, he took out the pearl and smiled at the warmth it gave him, how it soothed his soul and calmed his thoughts. He smiled at the way it fitted so easily into him, and the way it shone brightly when Yunho’s hand touched his or how it shimmered when Yunho’s eyes met his.
He found that love was not the great adventure he had imagined. He found that love had slipped into his life unnoticed, subtly making things a little more whole, a little brighter, making things just a little more. It didn’t burn so much as glow. It didn’t overwhelm him so much as sit in his heart, whispering truths, and in his eyes, showing him colours.
There was no great passion, or fiery romantic gestures. There was a quirky smile thrown over the back of their youngest brother. There was the soft hand that steadied him when he might have fallen. There was the look of understanding when things got tough. There was the warmth of a hug when it was most needed. It was the soft brush of lips before bed and the safe, familiar embrace under the covers. There were all the spoken words of support and understanding, and all the unspoken ones that hung comfortably between them. There was everything that made living beautiful.
He was not a little boy anymore, and he knew love was not a grand adventure. For him, love was everyday life, made better. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.