A Very Disney DBSK (oneshot crackyness)
Title: A Very Disney DBSK
Rating: PG
Form: Oneshot
Words: 1, 242
Pairings: incidental Jaeho
Genre: CRACK
Summary: Yoochun absolutely forbids you to start singing.
A stray comment to pet_shop about Disney!Jaeho, and this is what happens. ^^; Sorry. SO random.
“Uh, Yoochun, I think I have a problem.” Jaejoong wandered into the living room slightly dazed, and sat down heavily opposite Yoochun, who was busy stuffing his face with cereal. Yoochun barely gave him a glace over his laden spoon.
“We’ve known that for years, Joongie.” He mumbled round a mouthful glibly. He frowned slightly thought when Jae didn’t really react, or even chastise him for speaking with his mouth full.
“Uhm, no. Not that kind of problem.” Jaejoong said absently, and looked down at the floor beside him. “When I woke up this morning, there were flowers in my bed.” He went on. Yoochun made a face.
“Yunho being disgustingly sweet again?” He asked. Jae looked up at him and shook his head.
“No… the flowers were in my bed. Literally. As in, sprouting out from the mattress.” His brow was furrowed in confusion, while Yoochun put down his glass carefully.
“Huh?” was the intelligent reply. Jaejoong nodded slowly.
“Yeah. And look.” He turned his head towards the hallway, and Yoochun followed his gaze. There were flowers all over the floor, in a path that lead straight down the hall and directly to Jaejoong’s seat. Yoochun’s jaw dropped.
“What the fuck?” He spluttered. Jaejoong pouted.
“I don’t know. They keep following me!” He said, almost petulantly. It was weird and disconcerting. If he stood still for a long time, a little garden sprung up around him. He looked down under the table and sure enough, springy little white and purple pansies crowded around his feet. Yoochun, eyes wide, scraped back his own chair and looked down too, making a choking noise.
“And then, when I went to the window, there were these bluebirds… they were chirping away at me, and then they tried to fly inside or something and smashed head first into the glass.” Jaejoong said glumly. “I think one of them might have died. I didn’t even know there were bluebirds in Seoul.” Yoochun just gave him an opened mouthed look of incredulity.
“I- ” he began dumbly, not even sure what to say. What did one say when one’s best friends was spontaneously flowering? He stared in awe at Jaejoong for a moment, really looking at him, and realized Jaejoong’s skin was fairly… glowing. He looked paler then normal, but not in a sickly sort of way. His lips and cheeks were rosy, and his eyes were large and sparkly. He looked so innocent, like a - no, wait, what the hell? Jae’s eyes were large and sparkly?! What the fuck was he thinking?!
There was something seriously demented going on here. Just as he was about to say so, Junsu waltzed into the room. Literally. Jaejoong and Yoochun stared at him.
“Good morrow hyungs!” He said sunnily as he spun in a circle and fairly fluttered to the fridge. They stared at him some more, frightened. Especially since he seemed to be leaking gold glitter. It tinkled along behind him in a trail, leaving another little pathway beside Jaejoong’s flowers.
“What the hell is going on?” Yoochun hissed harshly to Jaejoong across the table, who shook his head violently.
“I don’t know! Junsu… it’s early! And the… the glitter…!” Jaejoong whimpered. Junsu was at best grumpy in the mornings, Yoochun and he the terrible two to get into gear and out of the house on time. To see him so chirpy was weird and scary in itself, added to the strange prancing (Junsu never pranced! Well, only on specially occasions.) and the glitter… well!
Before either could comment to Junsu however, there was stomping in the hall, and Changmin appeared, pulled to his full height and looking particularly thunderous. Despite his long hair being frizzed out atrociously like he’d been electric shocked. Yoochun choked again.
“Changmin! What -” Jaejoong asked, alarmed at his expression (and the hair. Such hair was usually never achieved without liberal application of around two bottles of hairspray and maybe an hour’s worth of dancing and a wind machine.)
“What the hell is going on?” Changmin rumbled, completely unamused. “My hair will not go down, and there’s a fawn in the shower.”
“A what?” Jaejoong asked blankly.
“A fawn, hyung. A baby deer.”
“Where did you get a baby deer from in Seoul?” Junsu asked curiously, returning with a tub of yogurt and a cloud of gliter.
“I didn’t ‘get’ it. It was just THERE.” Changmin gritted out. All three jumped back in alarm as his hair started crackling with blue bolts of electricity.
“Okay, no, seriously, what the hell is going on around here?” Yoochun exploded, jumping up from his seat. “You’re all acting really fucking peculiar!” He accused, staring around at all of them.
“Don’t swear Chunnie.” Junsu chastised.
“Why the fuck not?! Changmin is creating electricity with his hair, you’re leaking glitter, Jaejoong is sprouting flowers and going all glowy!” He yelled, totally panicked.
“It’s okay Yoochun, calm down… we’ll figure this out.” Jaejoong said, standing as well and putting his hand on Yoochun’s arm. For some reason, Yoochun immediately felt a bit better, finding Jaejonog’s words oddly calming and more melodic then usual. He found himself nodding in agreement.
“NO! Wait! Don’t you guys see?!” He yelped, jumping back from Jaejoong, suddenly terrified of how perfectly bowed and full Jaejoong’s lips were. There was a loud thud from behind him, and he spun around to see a bird flying straight into the windows behind, bashing itself against the glass a second time. Another two circled behind it, tweening between each other and doing strange tricks.
“They’re doing it again.” Jaejoong observed, eyes furrowed into worry as his lower lip pouted out. “Oh, poor birdies! They’ll hurt themselves!” He exclaimed, clasping his hands together, and Yoochun looked at him with wide eyes. Jaejoong had not just said ‘birdies’.
“Damn twittering pests! I hope they smash their brains and fall down to the road.” Changmin muttered, and Yoochun’s wide-eyed look turned on him. Changmin was a little bit cutting usually, but not evil…! He quickly looked over at Junsu, but he was just standing there, eating his yogurt and scattering gold glitter all over the table.
Yoochun whimpered.
The front door banged open, signaling the return of Yunho from wherever he’d been. Yoochun sighed in relief. Surely their leader would put a stop to this nonsense!
“I’m back!” Yunho’s reassuring rumble echoed through the house, and all four of them turned to see him stride into the living room. Yoochun let out a pathetic sob as he laid eyes on Yunho, the dancer beaming widely at them all and brandishing a sword. He was also wearing a blue tunic-like outfit with silver edgings and a cape.
“Do you like it?” Yunho asked expectantly, doing a twirl. Jaejoong smiled shyly and stepped up to him (a bed of violets appearing under his feet), touching the fabric cape hesitantly.
“I think you look very handsome.” The pale singer said softly, his large eyes staring soulfully into Yunho’s. Yunho’s beam widened, becoming blinding as his teeth sparkled in a non-existent ray of sun.
Yoochun let out a terrified squeak and ran from the room, making a mad dash for the bedroom and totally burying himself under his covers.
Back in the living room, Yunho wrapped his arms around Jaejoong, and looked puzzledly down the hall to where Yoochun had fled.
“I guess he doesn’t like the new concept for the group then.” He commented wonderingly.
Rating: PG
Form: Oneshot
Words: 1, 242
Pairings: incidental Jaeho
Genre: CRACK
Summary: Yoochun absolutely forbids you to start singing.
A stray comment to pet_shop about Disney!Jaeho, and this is what happens. ^^; Sorry. SO random.
“Uh, Yoochun, I think I have a problem.” Jaejoong wandered into the living room slightly dazed, and sat down heavily opposite Yoochun, who was busy stuffing his face with cereal. Yoochun barely gave him a glace over his laden spoon.
“We’ve known that for years, Joongie.” He mumbled round a mouthful glibly. He frowned slightly thought when Jae didn’t really react, or even chastise him for speaking with his mouth full.
“Uhm, no. Not that kind of problem.” Jaejoong said absently, and looked down at the floor beside him. “When I woke up this morning, there were flowers in my bed.” He went on. Yoochun made a face.
“Yunho being disgustingly sweet again?” He asked. Jae looked up at him and shook his head.
“No… the flowers were in my bed. Literally. As in, sprouting out from the mattress.” His brow was furrowed in confusion, while Yoochun put down his glass carefully.
“Huh?” was the intelligent reply. Jaejoong nodded slowly.
“Yeah. And look.” He turned his head towards the hallway, and Yoochun followed his gaze. There were flowers all over the floor, in a path that lead straight down the hall and directly to Jaejoong’s seat. Yoochun’s jaw dropped.
“What the fuck?” He spluttered. Jaejoong pouted.
“I don’t know. They keep following me!” He said, almost petulantly. It was weird and disconcerting. If he stood still for a long time, a little garden sprung up around him. He looked down under the table and sure enough, springy little white and purple pansies crowded around his feet. Yoochun, eyes wide, scraped back his own chair and looked down too, making a choking noise.
“And then, when I went to the window, there were these bluebirds… they were chirping away at me, and then they tried to fly inside or something and smashed head first into the glass.” Jaejoong said glumly. “I think one of them might have died. I didn’t even know there were bluebirds in Seoul.” Yoochun just gave him an opened mouthed look of incredulity.
“I- ” he began dumbly, not even sure what to say. What did one say when one’s best friends was spontaneously flowering? He stared in awe at Jaejoong for a moment, really looking at him, and realized Jaejoong’s skin was fairly… glowing. He looked paler then normal, but not in a sickly sort of way. His lips and cheeks were rosy, and his eyes were large and sparkly. He looked so innocent, like a - no, wait, what the hell? Jae’s eyes were large and sparkly?! What the fuck was he thinking?!
There was something seriously demented going on here. Just as he was about to say so, Junsu waltzed into the room. Literally. Jaejoong and Yoochun stared at him.
“Good morrow hyungs!” He said sunnily as he spun in a circle and fairly fluttered to the fridge. They stared at him some more, frightened. Especially since he seemed to be leaking gold glitter. It tinkled along behind him in a trail, leaving another little pathway beside Jaejoong’s flowers.
“What the hell is going on?” Yoochun hissed harshly to Jaejoong across the table, who shook his head violently.
“I don’t know! Junsu… it’s early! And the… the glitter…!” Jaejoong whimpered. Junsu was at best grumpy in the mornings, Yoochun and he the terrible two to get into gear and out of the house on time. To see him so chirpy was weird and scary in itself, added to the strange prancing (Junsu never pranced! Well, only on specially occasions.) and the glitter… well!
Before either could comment to Junsu however, there was stomping in the hall, and Changmin appeared, pulled to his full height and looking particularly thunderous. Despite his long hair being frizzed out atrociously like he’d been electric shocked. Yoochun choked again.
“Changmin! What -” Jaejoong asked, alarmed at his expression (and the hair. Such hair was usually never achieved without liberal application of around two bottles of hairspray and maybe an hour’s worth of dancing and a wind machine.)
“What the hell is going on?” Changmin rumbled, completely unamused. “My hair will not go down, and there’s a fawn in the shower.”
“A what?” Jaejoong asked blankly.
“A fawn, hyung. A baby deer.”
“Where did you get a baby deer from in Seoul?” Junsu asked curiously, returning with a tub of yogurt and a cloud of gliter.
“I didn’t ‘get’ it. It was just THERE.” Changmin gritted out. All three jumped back in alarm as his hair started crackling with blue bolts of electricity.
“Okay, no, seriously, what the hell is going on around here?” Yoochun exploded, jumping up from his seat. “You’re all acting really fucking peculiar!” He accused, staring around at all of them.
“Don’t swear Chunnie.” Junsu chastised.
“Why the fuck not?! Changmin is creating electricity with his hair, you’re leaking glitter, Jaejoong is sprouting flowers and going all glowy!” He yelled, totally panicked.
“It’s okay Yoochun, calm down… we’ll figure this out.” Jaejoong said, standing as well and putting his hand on Yoochun’s arm. For some reason, Yoochun immediately felt a bit better, finding Jaejonog’s words oddly calming and more melodic then usual. He found himself nodding in agreement.
“NO! Wait! Don’t you guys see?!” He yelped, jumping back from Jaejoong, suddenly terrified of how perfectly bowed and full Jaejoong’s lips were. There was a loud thud from behind him, and he spun around to see a bird flying straight into the windows behind, bashing itself against the glass a second time. Another two circled behind it, tweening between each other and doing strange tricks.
“They’re doing it again.” Jaejoong observed, eyes furrowed into worry as his lower lip pouted out. “Oh, poor birdies! They’ll hurt themselves!” He exclaimed, clasping his hands together, and Yoochun looked at him with wide eyes. Jaejoong had not just said ‘birdies’.
“Damn twittering pests! I hope they smash their brains and fall down to the road.” Changmin muttered, and Yoochun’s wide-eyed look turned on him. Changmin was a little bit cutting usually, but not evil…! He quickly looked over at Junsu, but he was just standing there, eating his yogurt and scattering gold glitter all over the table.
Yoochun whimpered.
The front door banged open, signaling the return of Yunho from wherever he’d been. Yoochun sighed in relief. Surely their leader would put a stop to this nonsense!
“I’m back!” Yunho’s reassuring rumble echoed through the house, and all four of them turned to see him stride into the living room. Yoochun let out a pathetic sob as he laid eyes on Yunho, the dancer beaming widely at them all and brandishing a sword. He was also wearing a blue tunic-like outfit with silver edgings and a cape.
“Do you like it?” Yunho asked expectantly, doing a twirl. Jaejoong smiled shyly and stepped up to him (a bed of violets appearing under his feet), touching the fabric cape hesitantly.
“I think you look very handsome.” The pale singer said softly, his large eyes staring soulfully into Yunho’s. Yunho’s beam widened, becoming blinding as his teeth sparkled in a non-existent ray of sun.
Yoochun let out a terrified squeak and ran from the room, making a mad dash for the bedroom and totally burying himself under his covers.
Back in the living room, Yunho wrapped his arms around Jaejoong, and looked puzzledly down the hall to where Yoochun had fled.
“I guess he doesn’t like the new concept for the group then.” He commented wonderingly.