AWDT Ficlet: Drowning
Title: Drowning
Author: original_lie
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: [D] Don't even think about reading it if your not of age
Word Count: 4000 and some change
Warning: A whole technicolour rainbow of emotions. (Angst, fluff, PWP, course language, ?)
Summary: Love isn’t easy, neither was their relationship, but they wouldn’t have it any other way.
A/N: Written for jamie2109 & nocturnali's AWDT prompt "... a failure to communicate.". Looked over and beta'd by my beautiful decadentdream because I'm so insecure and needed it.
Drowning
They had fought many times. Many had ended in similar cold, desolate, silent standoffs. But there was something different about this one, something unnerving.
♥♥♥♥♥
Half completed words, moans of pleasure, grunts of exertion and the slight slapping of skin were the only sounds that echoed eerily throughout the loft-like apartment. Though, it wasn’t long until the slow movements in the bed sped up momentarily before both occupants cried their release and stilled. The only sound now was harsh breathing and the sound of sheets rustling.
Tenderly, Draco intertwined his and Harry’s hands above Harry’s head before leaning in for a languid kiss; savouring the moment with abandon. Allowing Harry to pull away, Draco buried his head in Harry’s neck; kissing, sucking, nipping and lapping at the hollow and surrounding area.
“Draco,” Harry mumbled, incoherently. His hands moving in slow circles on Draco’s bare shoulders.
This was what they both relished. Moments where time stilled for them and them alone. Moments where they could take their time and bask in each other. This was heaven personified.
♥♥♥♥♥
“I fucking hate you, Draco Malfoy!” Harry screamed, turning on his heels to stare at the one he had, on more than one occasion, called love.
Draco ignored the tears steaming down Harry’s face and surveyed him with a look of pure disdain. His silvery brow arching imperiously while he schooled his features to employ the infamous Malfoy Mask.
“Well that makes two of us, Potter.” Draco spat back after a moment or two.
It wasn’t more then five seconds later that the bathroom door slammed, the sound reverberating around the garret, and through Draco.
Their fights had come thick and fast recently. One after the other, barely with a day of rest. Draco slowly eased himself down into one of the plush chairs, grimacing when he heard Harry throwing up from behind the door.
It was far too easy these days to pretend he didn’t care. Far too easy to employ those lessons his father had taught him when he was younger. Too easy to forget everything that Harry had taught him over the years.
♥♥♥♥♥
Harry curled his body around Draco’s, leaning into the strong, lithe body he had come so accustomed to. With a smile playing on his lips, he gently picked up Draco’s left hand. His fingertips dancing with Draco’s before he coyly interlaced their fingers, continuing the dance by quickly withdrawing them and pushing their palms together.
It didn’t matter that today had been horrible, right now he had all he needed. A quiet place to call home, and the man who he loved. That was enough.
♥♥♥♥♥
Harry sobbed over the porcelain bowl, his head resting tentatively on his arm. It hurt so much. Draco’s words hurt so much. Again, he heaved what little was in his system into the water below him. Ignoring the searing pain of the bile that was burning the back of his throat. Nothing hurt more than what had just happened.
Collapsing below the toilet, Harry curled into a small ball. His knees up to his chest, his hands locked between his thighs. Tears fell thick from behind closed eyes while Harry rocked himself ever-so-slightly.
While his sobs receded and he shook involuntarily, Harry listened to the sounds, or lack thereof, in the other room. The loft was as silent as a tomb, because that was what it had become in recent weeks.
♥♥♥♥♥
“Hey, Harry?” Draco said softly. Unsure whether or not the man in his arms was sleeping or not.
“Hmm?”
Draco smiled a small smile, his index finger continuing to trace patterns on Harry’s stomach while he watched, deciding how best to speak. Harry was beautiful, bathed in the moonlight filtering through the window behind the bed. His pink lips were parted, just, his eyes closed, thick, dark lashes fluttering gently. All in all, he was a picture of innocence and beauty, sprawled on dark purple Egyptian cotton sheets.
“Are you happy?” Draco asked quietly; willing his voice to remain steady.
Those beautiful dark lashes fluttered open to reveal bright, verdant eyes. An impish smile playing on Harry’s luscious lips.
“More than you know.” Harry murmured, turning in Draco’s arms and reaching over to brush a few strands of shimmering blond hair off of Draco’s face. His hand lingering at Draco’s chin for a moment longer. “Are you?”
“Yes.” Draco whispered, leaning over enough to press his lips to Harry’s forehead. His fingers trailing until they were tangled in long dark locks. “Very much so, Harry.”
♥♥♥♥♥
Draco stood outside the bathroom door, his knuckles raised and poised to rap on the wooden frame of the door. Inside he could hear Harry sniffling and despite his earlier anger he wanted to go in there and hold Harry close. Whisper sweet nothings in his ear and assure him, with or without words, that he would always love him, that he would always be there for him.
Sighing heavily, Draco raked his fingers through his hair, then leant on the doorframe, his head coming to rest on the warm wood. Tentatively, he raised his hand to the middle of the door. As if by touching the door, he could somehow touch his lover.
Softly, he knocked against the door. Holding his breath while he waited, hoping, vainly, that everything would be okay.
♥♥♥♥♥
“Gods… fucking hell… mmm… right there.” Harry cried, his hips rising just so to allow Draco better access.
Flushed and sweating, Draco lifted his head, grinning up at Harry who was whimpering at the loss of Draco’s ministrations.
“Do you have any idea how fucking hot you sound?” Draco asked, an impressed smirk ghosting the corners of his lips.
“Draco,” Harry whined. “Why’d you have to stop, I was so close.”
Draco waved his hand dismissively, slithering up Harry’s body to lick and suck at the juncture of Harry’s neck and shoulder.
“Fuck.” Harry moaned. “Draco, I need you inside me. Now!”
Draco pulled back, sniffing indignantly before grinning widely and crawling back down to Harry’s groin.
“Lift up.” Draco commanded, aligning a pillow beneath Harry’s hips, before settling down on his own stomach, swiping his tongue along the crack of Harry’s arse, before circling the anus.
Harry groaned, his hands clenching in the sheets.
♥♥♥♥♥
Harry stared at Draco, the door open just a crack. Both men stood there in an uneasy standoff. The air between them thick with fear and resentment. Harry’s eyes were red and puffy; his face blotchy. Draco’s stomach swam uneasily as he took in the face before him.
“What? You want me out right now?” Harry asked, his voice harsh and hard.
Draco merely shook his head, lowering his eyes lest they show any emotion right now. Harry growled, deep in the back of his throat, pushing Draco out of the way before opening the door fully.
“What else is new. Draco Malfoy has no fucking idea what he wants. Is that right?” Harry sneered.
Again, Draco shook his head, his eyes still downcast, his head and body following the direction of Harry’s voice. Rolling his eyes, Harry made his way to the bedroom area, reaching into the robe, he pulled out his old duffle bag, opening it before reefing his clothes off of the hangers and stuffing them into the bag.
“Going somewhere?” Draco asked quietly, finally looking up to watch Harry as he emptied the contents of a drawer into the bag.
“I thought that was fucking obvious.” Harry spat.
♥♥♥♥♥
Draco arched into Harry’s touch. It was soft, cautious; loving. Eyes closed, he tried to remember the last time they’d been this slow, this gentle. Too long. Harry was making short work of his neck, his tongue sliding down the smooth white skin to the edge of the Oxford shirt Draco was wearing. Timidly, Harry’s eyes fluttered up to look at Draco, lust having almost vanished the vivid green that was usually so prominent. Claiming Draco’s lips in an almost painfully slow kiss, Harry’s shaking hands made light work of the buttons, and tenderly, his Quidditch worn hands trailed along Draco’s shoulders, the stiff material sliding from broad shoulders with a practiced ease.
There was no need to hurry, there rarely was these days; neither was going anywhere. Both were relishing the so oft neglected yearning of taking things slowly.
♥♥♥♥♥
“I don’t want you to go, Harry.” Draco all but whispered, his eyes finding the floor once again.
Harry turned, incredulousness taking over him. Shaking his head, he let out a low, hysterical laugh.
“The fuck you don’t,” He hissed. “Or have you forgotten what the fuck you said?”
“Where in all that did I say I wanted you to go?” Draco demanded, his voice quivering, his gaze firmly landing on Harry as he stood there, not five feet from him.
“You didn’t in so many words. But, unfortunately, I know you too well, Malfoy. With everything you said and did you told me. You didn’t have to scream it at me. Your eyes said it all. You don’t need me. You don’t even want me. I don’t know if you ever did…” Harry trailed off, his grasp on the duffle slackening as his face fell once more.
“I never said, nor implied that. You saw what it was you wanted.”
Harry scoffed, flinging the bag over his shoulder. “But you haven’t said that I was wrong.”
♥♥♥♥♥
Draco’s hand ran the length of Harry’s side, Harry giggling like a school-girl at the light touch. Both men smiled sincere smiles that lit up the room before Draco ducked his head, his tongue running the grooves of Harry’s six pack. Lovingly, he rubbed his nose in Harry’s bellybutton, pressing a light kiss to the opening before swirling his tongue around it. Harry ceased giggling at that point and moaned deep in his throat. A moan that went straight to Draco’s groin. Closing his eyes, he continued to kiss and lave at the flexing muscles.
“Draco…”
Grinning against Harry’s flesh, Draco wriggled down, the tip of his tongue following the curling trail of hair from Harry’s navel. Nuzzling into Harry’s groin, he deeply inhaled the heady musky scent that was so succinctly Harry.
“Gods, Harry. I love you.” He whispered before nipping at the tender skin.
♥♥♥♥♥
“Then what we have here, Potter, is a failure to communicate. How can you think that I don’t want or need you for fucks sake?” Draco asked, the anger from earlier stirring in his belly. “Everything that I have done in the last four years has been for you- because I need you, because I want you. Fucking hell, you infuriate the hell out of me, but you can only get under my skin and push all my buttons because I fucking love you. So go on, go, leave me if you will, but don’t you dare throw it back and say it’s because I don’t want you here. I would never, ever say that.”
Draco was shaking now. He couldn’t remember for the life of him what their earlier fight had been about it, but it wouldn’t have surprised him if it had all started because he wanted to read and Harry wanted to watch BSkyB or BBC or whatever it was he watched, on the television. That’s all they had fought about recently. Stupid insignificant little things that, in the grander scope of things, didn’t matter one way or another.
Turning, Draco lifted one hand to his mouth. If Harry was going to walk out that door, there was no way on Earth he was going to watch.
♥♥♥♥♥
“Draco?” Harry whispered in the half light.
Draco was intent on sleeping, his leg’s wrapped in Harry’s, one arm thrown possessively over his lover’s glistening torso. But Harry, Harry had other ideas it seemed.
“Yes, Harry?” he mumbled, ignoring the laugh from Harry when he rubbed his tired face into the soft pillow.
“I just wanted to know if you were sleeping.”
“Ugh, Harry! That’s just cruel.” Draco whimpered, curling on his side - away from Harry’s delicious warmth.
“Aw, now don’t be like that,” Harry purred, the bed moving and dipping again as Harry moved behind Draco, spooning him from behind. “You know you love me.”
Draco smiled a half smile, leaning back a little into Harry who tightened the embrace.
“Yeah, I know you do”
“What?”
“Goodnight, Harry.”
“Draco!”
“What?”
“I do love you, you know.”
“Well duh, otherwise I wouldn’t have said you do. Now go to sleep.”
“Goodnight, lover.” Harry purred, licking the back of Draco’s ear.
“Oh my Gods! Harry, you didn’t.” Draco laughed, gently pushing back against Harry. Harry laughed back, rolling Draco onto his back before plunging deep into his mouth. Silently, Draco thanked his lucky stars, not minding one bit that they weren’t going to sleep anytime soon.
♥♥♥♥♥
Harry looked at Draco with furrowed brows, he was sure that after all the fighting, after tonight’s fight, that Draco didn’t want him around anymore. That these fights were because they were both too scared to do the right thing and end it. But, maybe they weren’t. Harry groaned lightly, dropping the duffle at his feet and rubbed his face tiredly with both hands. Was it possible that maybe, just maybe all these fights had occurred because they had simply grown lazy with one another. Sure, the passion was still there, but it waned in the daylight hours. Rarely, did they just sit there holding each other while Draco read aloud. There were no more walks in the parks. No more dancing on the roof in the rain. They had grown content merely being in each other’s company that they neglected all those fun things that they had done in the beginning. The spontaneity had gone and been replaced with ritual. Neither of them had wanted that in the first place. They had wanted to taste and explore all that they had been denied in the beginning.
Fearfully, Harry crossed the floor. His hands slipping between Draco’s to hold him from behind. He didn’t want to loose Draco over something stupid. He didn’t want to lose Draco full stop.
♥♥♥♥♥
“Potter, what the hell are you doing?”
“Watching the news what does it look like?” Harry snapped, irritably.
“I wanted to read!”
Harry looked over at Draco, surveying him for a moment before rolling his eyes and turning back to the television.
“You can do that with the TV on, Dray-co.”
“Fuck you, Potter.”
Draco pushed himself off of the lounge, throwing the book at Harry which missed him by less than an inch. He was going to sulk in the bedroom if Harry was going to be a prat.
“What the hell are you doing?” Harry growled. “Trying to kill me with a fucking book?”
Draco laughed, low and dangerously, his stormy eyes snapping. “If I’d wanted to kill you, I could have done it before.”
Harry smirked maliciously in response. “No doubt you would have. One problem though, Malfoy - You’ve never had the guts to kill anything or anyone you know personally.”
Draco’s jaw was set, his lips forming a straight line. This was going to get them nowhere. Rehashing their earlier years during fights always brought pain.
“Maybe so, but at least I never let anyone kill those close to me.” Draco was treading dangerous water here. No good could come of this, but he was far from caring at this point. “You let the Dark Lord kill Cedric. You stood by and watched while Bellatrix murdered your dog- sorry, your Godfather. You didn’t do a thing when I tried to kill Dumbledore- OR when Snape actually did. And when your best friends were in danger, all you did was look away. Don’t fucking deny it Har-ry, I was fucking there. Huh? The only time you even came close to doing what you should have all those times was pull me out of the way before the Killing Curse could hit me. Fat fucking lot of good that did me.”
“Fuck you!” Harry screamed. He wasn’t sitting anymore, he was standing, wand in hand, glaring balefully at Draco before turning his back to him. “You’re no more than a God damn coward. You can’t even fight like a man, you have to bring up all this shit that I thought we were over. But I guess nothings ever over when it comes to you.”
Draco clacked his tongue as though he was going to reprimand Harry, but in truth, he wasn’t sure what to say now. How the hell had they gotten back onto this old shit. Waving his hand indifferently, Draco rolled his shoulders and looked past Harry as he turned to glare at him.
“I fucking hate you, Draco Malfoy.” Harry screamed, tears rolling down his face.
“Well, that makes two of us.”
♥♥♥♥♥
“I’m so sorry,” Draco whispered as Harry burrowed deep into Draco’s nape. “Please forgive me, Harry. Please?”
Without answering, Draco turned in Harry’s arms, his eyes bright with unshed tears. They stood there in naked silence staring into each others eyes. There were no need for words, the walls had come down now, and everything they needed or wanted to say, they were saying with their eyes.
Neither knew who made the first move, maybe they both had, but their lips met in a blissful union. Lips dancing together like a finely tuned instrument before Draco slipped his tongue through compliant lips. They moved as one to the bed, joined at the mouth the whole time, as if breaking apart would break the moment. It was slow, painfully so, but they stayed locked together, feeding one another, feeding from one another as though there was no tomorrow.
Breaking the kiss as slowly as possible, Draco drew back to look at Harry. Not just to look at him, but to actually see him. Gulping audibly, he reached forward to pull the t-shirt off of Harry’s body. He wanted to see all of him. He wanted to see what it was that he had been missing. It took only a few moments for them to both shuck their clothing, both of them were kneeling in front of one another on the bed, watching, looking, truly observing one another through untainted eyes.
It was forever and it was in a second that they were together again. Their lips fusing in frenzied passion, hands moving over familiar, but forgotten scars and bumps. Lips left lips, and sought out other favoured places. Behind ears, the hollows of necks, shoulders, chins, eyelids. Lips trailed over every available surface.
It wasn’t until Harry lay Draco down, his hand smoothing over the taut abdominal muscles that they decided. It was a silent treaty, a pact whispered from one soul to another. Harry’s lips sought out more of Draco, nipples teased with finger and thumb, his stomach nipped and licked until his tongue was parched. Then, he sought out that wonderful mouth again.
Taking his fill for the moment, Harry slid down that wonderful body, his gaze wandering over every inch of luxurious skin. Nuzzling into Draco’s groin, Harry breathed deep, revelling in the heavenly scent. Harry’s tongue continued to explore, lapping at the head of Draco’s weeping cock before licking a wet strip down the underside.
Draco keened in response; thighs spreading, back arching, knees rising. “Harry, please…”
Harry chanced a glance up the length of Draco’s body. The usually pale skin now flushed and shimmering, white blond hair dampened and hanging over sharp features. Harry was riveted, it took all his self control not to come then and there.
“You’re so beautiful,” Harry murmured, pressing a soft kiss to the soft tendrils of hair below Draco’s navel.
Taking the incentive, Draco leant to his right, one hand snatching out to retrieve the tube of lubricant that was on Harry’s bedside table. Harry’s hand trailed lightly back and forth along Draco’s inner thigh, causing Draco to quiver and moan with anticipation as he pushed the tube into Harry’s free hand.
“Please,” Draco whispered.
Leaning up, Harry and Draco met in a sweet, lingering kiss. Draco’s hand trailing through Harry’s mused hair before landing on his shoulders, gently he pushed him back.
“Harry… need you… now, please.”
Draco’s lust filled voice swam through Harry’s senses, nodding he settled himself on his knees, squirting a plentiful quantity of the viscous liquid into his palm; finger’s wetted in the pooled lubricant before circling the puckered musk-coloured skin of Draco’s anus.
Preparation was quick; one finger, two fingers, three, both moaning with pure want. In one fluid movement, Harry removed his fingers, and, closing his eyes, slowly slid home. Draco’s passage was hot and tight, everything he remembered and wanted, it was enough just to be in there.
Bare chest rubbed against bare chest, delicious friction that drowned the senses, Harry slowly moving out of Draco only to drive back into the delicious warmth seconds later.
Reverent promises, whispered like prayers by both of men, atonements for their earlier indiscretions. Their physical bond heightened by their emotional coupling, wanton need, desire for untainted reassurance, and an insatiable desire to stay together no matter what, drawing the moment closer.
“Harry,” the name was drawn from deep within Draco, his arms linking behind Harry’s shoulders to pull him closer.
Together, their hips moved as one, stomachs massaging Draco’s engorged cock that was trapped between them. The pleasantness of the stimulation of his cock and the fact that Harry was hitting his prostate repeatedly was drawing a more than pleasant feeling in the pit of Draco’s stomach.
“Draco…” Harry breathed. “Come.”
Draco looked up at Harry through half-lidded eyes, Harry’s eyes were closed and his face - his face was one of pure rapture. Draco bucked his hips against Harry, and Harry hit his sweet spot, making him see stars as he came hard on his and Harry’s stomaches. Draco clenched around Harry’s hard length and Harry moaned deep in his throat, his cock shooting his release deep into Draco.
Both sweat and semen covered, collapsed against each other - or rather Harry collapsed on top of Draco - struggling to regain their breaths and control over their muscles. This - no matter how it had come about - was perfection. It wasn’t ideal as the word would imply, but it was what they needed, how they conveyed everything they needed to say even when they couldn’t say it aloud. This was just one reason why they needed each other. Because no one could ever make either of them feel this strongly, this deeply… this much.
Sometime later, Harry finally rolled off of Draco, his now flaccid cock sliding out of Draco causing the blond to hiss through his teeth at the loss. Harry simply held onto Draco, spelling the now drying mess away with a few choice words - sans wand. Harry was staying. Draco needed him, and Harry was staying. Harry loved Draco, and Draco loved Harry, that was enough for both of them. Tomorrow they would deal with the events of that night, but now, now they were merely content with just holding each other, whispering words of comfort and love, hands moving soothingly over smooth skin.
Love isn’t easy, neither was their relationship, but they wouldn’t have it any other way.
♥♥♥♥♥
Draco looped his thumbs in the loops of Harry’s jeans, pulling Harry’s hips flush with his own. Smiling nervously he looked down to see Harry’s hands resting at his waist. Through a veil of fine blond hair, he surveyed his lover.
Chuckling heartily Harry moved his hand up to brush the hair off of Draco’s face before following suit with his own tresses.
“You have something to say?” Harry inquired, his voice laced with amusement.
“You better not be laughing at me, Scarhead.” Draco pouted, raising his chin defiantly.
Solemnly, Harry shook his head negative, offering Draco a sweet smile that just about melted his heart.
“I just wanted to ask you something -- well tell you something… I don’t know.”
Harry laughed again, shaking his head fondly. “Come on Malfoy, you’ve never been one to shy away when you have something to say.”
Draco mumbled something under his breath, lowering his head and shaking his hair to hide his rapidly flushing cheeks.
“What was that, I didn’t catch it.”
“Iloveyou.” Draco rushed out, biting his bottom lip.
Harry gently guided Draco’s chin up, locking eyes with him. Smiling serenely Harry’s eyes drifted skywards as if in deep thought.
“Ummmm.” Harry was obviously taking great pleasure in tormenting Draco when he’d lain his soul bare for all to see, but in the end it didn’t really matter. “Can I tell you a secret, Draco?” he whispered.
Draco nodded, his brows knotting, the muscles in his shoulders tensing to the point of pain.
“I’ve been in love with you for years, I’ve just never told anyone.” Harry stated simply, moving in swiftly to claim Draco’s lips with his own before he could say anything.
♥♥♥♥♥
Concrit feeds the soul
Author: original_lie
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: [D] Don't even think about reading it if your not of age
Word Count: 4000 and some change
Warning: A whole technicolour rainbow of emotions. (Angst, fluff, PWP, course language, ?)
Summary: Love isn’t easy, neither was their relationship, but they wouldn’t have it any other way.
A/N: Written for jamie2109 & nocturnali's AWDT prompt "... a failure to communicate.". Looked over and beta'd by my beautiful decadentdream because I'm so insecure and needed it.
Drowning
They had fought many times. Many had ended in similar cold, desolate, silent standoffs. But there was something different about this one, something unnerving.
♥♥♥♥♥
Half completed words, moans of pleasure, grunts of exertion and the slight slapping of skin were the only sounds that echoed eerily throughout the loft-like apartment. Though, it wasn’t long until the slow movements in the bed sped up momentarily before both occupants cried their release and stilled. The only sound now was harsh breathing and the sound of sheets rustling.
Tenderly, Draco intertwined his and Harry’s hands above Harry’s head before leaning in for a languid kiss; savouring the moment with abandon. Allowing Harry to pull away, Draco buried his head in Harry’s neck; kissing, sucking, nipping and lapping at the hollow and surrounding area.
“Draco,” Harry mumbled, incoherently. His hands moving in slow circles on Draco’s bare shoulders.
This was what they both relished. Moments where time stilled for them and them alone. Moments where they could take their time and bask in each other. This was heaven personified.
♥♥♥♥♥
“I fucking hate you, Draco Malfoy!” Harry screamed, turning on his heels to stare at the one he had, on more than one occasion, called love.
Draco ignored the tears steaming down Harry’s face and surveyed him with a look of pure disdain. His silvery brow arching imperiously while he schooled his features to employ the infamous Malfoy Mask.
“Well that makes two of us, Potter.” Draco spat back after a moment or two.
It wasn’t more then five seconds later that the bathroom door slammed, the sound reverberating around the garret, and through Draco.
Their fights had come thick and fast recently. One after the other, barely with a day of rest. Draco slowly eased himself down into one of the plush chairs, grimacing when he heard Harry throwing up from behind the door.
It was far too easy these days to pretend he didn’t care. Far too easy to employ those lessons his father had taught him when he was younger. Too easy to forget everything that Harry had taught him over the years.
♥♥♥♥♥
Harry curled his body around Draco’s, leaning into the strong, lithe body he had come so accustomed to. With a smile playing on his lips, he gently picked up Draco’s left hand. His fingertips dancing with Draco’s before he coyly interlaced their fingers, continuing the dance by quickly withdrawing them and pushing their palms together.
It didn’t matter that today had been horrible, right now he had all he needed. A quiet place to call home, and the man who he loved. That was enough.
♥♥♥♥♥
Harry sobbed over the porcelain bowl, his head resting tentatively on his arm. It hurt so much. Draco’s words hurt so much. Again, he heaved what little was in his system into the water below him. Ignoring the searing pain of the bile that was burning the back of his throat. Nothing hurt more than what had just happened.
Collapsing below the toilet, Harry curled into a small ball. His knees up to his chest, his hands locked between his thighs. Tears fell thick from behind closed eyes while Harry rocked himself ever-so-slightly.
While his sobs receded and he shook involuntarily, Harry listened to the sounds, or lack thereof, in the other room. The loft was as silent as a tomb, because that was what it had become in recent weeks.
♥♥♥♥♥
“Hey, Harry?” Draco said softly. Unsure whether or not the man in his arms was sleeping or not.
“Hmm?”
Draco smiled a small smile, his index finger continuing to trace patterns on Harry’s stomach while he watched, deciding how best to speak. Harry was beautiful, bathed in the moonlight filtering through the window behind the bed. His pink lips were parted, just, his eyes closed, thick, dark lashes fluttering gently. All in all, he was a picture of innocence and beauty, sprawled on dark purple Egyptian cotton sheets.
“Are you happy?” Draco asked quietly; willing his voice to remain steady.
Those beautiful dark lashes fluttered open to reveal bright, verdant eyes. An impish smile playing on Harry’s luscious lips.
“More than you know.” Harry murmured, turning in Draco’s arms and reaching over to brush a few strands of shimmering blond hair off of Draco’s face. His hand lingering at Draco’s chin for a moment longer. “Are you?”
“Yes.” Draco whispered, leaning over enough to press his lips to Harry’s forehead. His fingers trailing until they were tangled in long dark locks. “Very much so, Harry.”
♥♥♥♥♥
Draco stood outside the bathroom door, his knuckles raised and poised to rap on the wooden frame of the door. Inside he could hear Harry sniffling and despite his earlier anger he wanted to go in there and hold Harry close. Whisper sweet nothings in his ear and assure him, with or without words, that he would always love him, that he would always be there for him.
Sighing heavily, Draco raked his fingers through his hair, then leant on the doorframe, his head coming to rest on the warm wood. Tentatively, he raised his hand to the middle of the door. As if by touching the door, he could somehow touch his lover.
Softly, he knocked against the door. Holding his breath while he waited, hoping, vainly, that everything would be okay.
♥♥♥♥♥
“Gods… fucking hell… mmm… right there.” Harry cried, his hips rising just so to allow Draco better access.
Flushed and sweating, Draco lifted his head, grinning up at Harry who was whimpering at the loss of Draco’s ministrations.
“Do you have any idea how fucking hot you sound?” Draco asked, an impressed smirk ghosting the corners of his lips.
“Draco,” Harry whined. “Why’d you have to stop, I was so close.”
Draco waved his hand dismissively, slithering up Harry’s body to lick and suck at the juncture of Harry’s neck and shoulder.
“Fuck.” Harry moaned. “Draco, I need you inside me. Now!”
Draco pulled back, sniffing indignantly before grinning widely and crawling back down to Harry’s groin.
“Lift up.” Draco commanded, aligning a pillow beneath Harry’s hips, before settling down on his own stomach, swiping his tongue along the crack of Harry’s arse, before circling the anus.
Harry groaned, his hands clenching in the sheets.
♥♥♥♥♥
Harry stared at Draco, the door open just a crack. Both men stood there in an uneasy standoff. The air between them thick with fear and resentment. Harry’s eyes were red and puffy; his face blotchy. Draco’s stomach swam uneasily as he took in the face before him.
“What? You want me out right now?” Harry asked, his voice harsh and hard.
Draco merely shook his head, lowering his eyes lest they show any emotion right now. Harry growled, deep in the back of his throat, pushing Draco out of the way before opening the door fully.
“What else is new. Draco Malfoy has no fucking idea what he wants. Is that right?” Harry sneered.
Again, Draco shook his head, his eyes still downcast, his head and body following the direction of Harry’s voice. Rolling his eyes, Harry made his way to the bedroom area, reaching into the robe, he pulled out his old duffle bag, opening it before reefing his clothes off of the hangers and stuffing them into the bag.
“Going somewhere?” Draco asked quietly, finally looking up to watch Harry as he emptied the contents of a drawer into the bag.
“I thought that was fucking obvious.” Harry spat.
♥♥♥♥♥
Draco arched into Harry’s touch. It was soft, cautious; loving. Eyes closed, he tried to remember the last time they’d been this slow, this gentle. Too long. Harry was making short work of his neck, his tongue sliding down the smooth white skin to the edge of the Oxford shirt Draco was wearing. Timidly, Harry’s eyes fluttered up to look at Draco, lust having almost vanished the vivid green that was usually so prominent. Claiming Draco’s lips in an almost painfully slow kiss, Harry’s shaking hands made light work of the buttons, and tenderly, his Quidditch worn hands trailed along Draco’s shoulders, the stiff material sliding from broad shoulders with a practiced ease.
There was no need to hurry, there rarely was these days; neither was going anywhere. Both were relishing the so oft neglected yearning of taking things slowly.
♥♥♥♥♥
“I don’t want you to go, Harry.” Draco all but whispered, his eyes finding the floor once again.
Harry turned, incredulousness taking over him. Shaking his head, he let out a low, hysterical laugh.
“The fuck you don’t,” He hissed. “Or have you forgotten what the fuck you said?”
“Where in all that did I say I wanted you to go?” Draco demanded, his voice quivering, his gaze firmly landing on Harry as he stood there, not five feet from him.
“You didn’t in so many words. But, unfortunately, I know you too well, Malfoy. With everything you said and did you told me. You didn’t have to scream it at me. Your eyes said it all. You don’t need me. You don’t even want me. I don’t know if you ever did…” Harry trailed off, his grasp on the duffle slackening as his face fell once more.
“I never said, nor implied that. You saw what it was you wanted.”
Harry scoffed, flinging the bag over his shoulder. “But you haven’t said that I was wrong.”
♥♥♥♥♥
Draco’s hand ran the length of Harry’s side, Harry giggling like a school-girl at the light touch. Both men smiled sincere smiles that lit up the room before Draco ducked his head, his tongue running the grooves of Harry’s six pack. Lovingly, he rubbed his nose in Harry’s bellybutton, pressing a light kiss to the opening before swirling his tongue around it. Harry ceased giggling at that point and moaned deep in his throat. A moan that went straight to Draco’s groin. Closing his eyes, he continued to kiss and lave at the flexing muscles.
“Draco…”
Grinning against Harry’s flesh, Draco wriggled down, the tip of his tongue following the curling trail of hair from Harry’s navel. Nuzzling into Harry’s groin, he deeply inhaled the heady musky scent that was so succinctly Harry.
“Gods, Harry. I love you.” He whispered before nipping at the tender skin.
♥♥♥♥♥
“Then what we have here, Potter, is a failure to communicate. How can you think that I don’t want or need you for fucks sake?” Draco asked, the anger from earlier stirring in his belly. “Everything that I have done in the last four years has been for you- because I need you, because I want you. Fucking hell, you infuriate the hell out of me, but you can only get under my skin and push all my buttons because I fucking love you. So go on, go, leave me if you will, but don’t you dare throw it back and say it’s because I don’t want you here. I would never, ever say that.”
Draco was shaking now. He couldn’t remember for the life of him what their earlier fight had been about it, but it wouldn’t have surprised him if it had all started because he wanted to read and Harry wanted to watch BSkyB or BBC or whatever it was he watched, on the television. That’s all they had fought about recently. Stupid insignificant little things that, in the grander scope of things, didn’t matter one way or another.
Turning, Draco lifted one hand to his mouth. If Harry was going to walk out that door, there was no way on Earth he was going to watch.
♥♥♥♥♥
“Draco?” Harry whispered in the half light.
Draco was intent on sleeping, his leg’s wrapped in Harry’s, one arm thrown possessively over his lover’s glistening torso. But Harry, Harry had other ideas it seemed.
“Yes, Harry?” he mumbled, ignoring the laugh from Harry when he rubbed his tired face into the soft pillow.
“I just wanted to know if you were sleeping.”
“Ugh, Harry! That’s just cruel.” Draco whimpered, curling on his side - away from Harry’s delicious warmth.
“Aw, now don’t be like that,” Harry purred, the bed moving and dipping again as Harry moved behind Draco, spooning him from behind. “You know you love me.”
Draco smiled a half smile, leaning back a little into Harry who tightened the embrace.
“Yeah, I know you do”
“What?”
“Goodnight, Harry.”
“Draco!”
“What?”
“I do love you, you know.”
“Well duh, otherwise I wouldn’t have said you do. Now go to sleep.”
“Goodnight, lover.” Harry purred, licking the back of Draco’s ear.
“Oh my Gods! Harry, you didn’t.” Draco laughed, gently pushing back against Harry. Harry laughed back, rolling Draco onto his back before plunging deep into his mouth. Silently, Draco thanked his lucky stars, not minding one bit that they weren’t going to sleep anytime soon.
♥♥♥♥♥
Harry looked at Draco with furrowed brows, he was sure that after all the fighting, after tonight’s fight, that Draco didn’t want him around anymore. That these fights were because they were both too scared to do the right thing and end it. But, maybe they weren’t. Harry groaned lightly, dropping the duffle at his feet and rubbed his face tiredly with both hands. Was it possible that maybe, just maybe all these fights had occurred because they had simply grown lazy with one another. Sure, the passion was still there, but it waned in the daylight hours. Rarely, did they just sit there holding each other while Draco read aloud. There were no more walks in the parks. No more dancing on the roof in the rain. They had grown content merely being in each other’s company that they neglected all those fun things that they had done in the beginning. The spontaneity had gone and been replaced with ritual. Neither of them had wanted that in the first place. They had wanted to taste and explore all that they had been denied in the beginning.
Fearfully, Harry crossed the floor. His hands slipping between Draco’s to hold him from behind. He didn’t want to loose Draco over something stupid. He didn’t want to lose Draco full stop.
♥♥♥♥♥
“Potter, what the hell are you doing?”
“Watching the news what does it look like?” Harry snapped, irritably.
“I wanted to read!”
Harry looked over at Draco, surveying him for a moment before rolling his eyes and turning back to the television.
“You can do that with the TV on, Dray-co.”
“Fuck you, Potter.”
Draco pushed himself off of the lounge, throwing the book at Harry which missed him by less than an inch. He was going to sulk in the bedroom if Harry was going to be a prat.
“What the hell are you doing?” Harry growled. “Trying to kill me with a fucking book?”
Draco laughed, low and dangerously, his stormy eyes snapping. “If I’d wanted to kill you, I could have done it before.”
Harry smirked maliciously in response. “No doubt you would have. One problem though, Malfoy - You’ve never had the guts to kill anything or anyone you know personally.”
Draco’s jaw was set, his lips forming a straight line. This was going to get them nowhere. Rehashing their earlier years during fights always brought pain.
“Maybe so, but at least I never let anyone kill those close to me.” Draco was treading dangerous water here. No good could come of this, but he was far from caring at this point. “You let the Dark Lord kill Cedric. You stood by and watched while Bellatrix murdered your dog- sorry, your Godfather. You didn’t do a thing when I tried to kill Dumbledore- OR when Snape actually did. And when your best friends were in danger, all you did was look away. Don’t fucking deny it Har-ry, I was fucking there. Huh? The only time you even came close to doing what you should have all those times was pull me out of the way before the Killing Curse could hit me. Fat fucking lot of good that did me.”
“Fuck you!” Harry screamed. He wasn’t sitting anymore, he was standing, wand in hand, glaring balefully at Draco before turning his back to him. “You’re no more than a God damn coward. You can’t even fight like a man, you have to bring up all this shit that I thought we were over. But I guess nothings ever over when it comes to you.”
Draco clacked his tongue as though he was going to reprimand Harry, but in truth, he wasn’t sure what to say now. How the hell had they gotten back onto this old shit. Waving his hand indifferently, Draco rolled his shoulders and looked past Harry as he turned to glare at him.
“I fucking hate you, Draco Malfoy.” Harry screamed, tears rolling down his face.
“Well, that makes two of us.”
♥♥♥♥♥
“I’m so sorry,” Draco whispered as Harry burrowed deep into Draco’s nape. “Please forgive me, Harry. Please?”
Without answering, Draco turned in Harry’s arms, his eyes bright with unshed tears. They stood there in naked silence staring into each others eyes. There were no need for words, the walls had come down now, and everything they needed or wanted to say, they were saying with their eyes.
Neither knew who made the first move, maybe they both had, but their lips met in a blissful union. Lips dancing together like a finely tuned instrument before Draco slipped his tongue through compliant lips. They moved as one to the bed, joined at the mouth the whole time, as if breaking apart would break the moment. It was slow, painfully so, but they stayed locked together, feeding one another, feeding from one another as though there was no tomorrow.
Breaking the kiss as slowly as possible, Draco drew back to look at Harry. Not just to look at him, but to actually see him. Gulping audibly, he reached forward to pull the t-shirt off of Harry’s body. He wanted to see all of him. He wanted to see what it was that he had been missing. It took only a few moments for them to both shuck their clothing, both of them were kneeling in front of one another on the bed, watching, looking, truly observing one another through untainted eyes.
It was forever and it was in a second that they were together again. Their lips fusing in frenzied passion, hands moving over familiar, but forgotten scars and bumps. Lips left lips, and sought out other favoured places. Behind ears, the hollows of necks, shoulders, chins, eyelids. Lips trailed over every available surface.
It wasn’t until Harry lay Draco down, his hand smoothing over the taut abdominal muscles that they decided. It was a silent treaty, a pact whispered from one soul to another. Harry’s lips sought out more of Draco, nipples teased with finger and thumb, his stomach nipped and licked until his tongue was parched. Then, he sought out that wonderful mouth again.
Taking his fill for the moment, Harry slid down that wonderful body, his gaze wandering over every inch of luxurious skin. Nuzzling into Draco’s groin, Harry breathed deep, revelling in the heavenly scent. Harry’s tongue continued to explore, lapping at the head of Draco’s weeping cock before licking a wet strip down the underside.
Draco keened in response; thighs spreading, back arching, knees rising. “Harry, please…”
Harry chanced a glance up the length of Draco’s body. The usually pale skin now flushed and shimmering, white blond hair dampened and hanging over sharp features. Harry was riveted, it took all his self control not to come then and there.
“You’re so beautiful,” Harry murmured, pressing a soft kiss to the soft tendrils of hair below Draco’s navel.
Taking the incentive, Draco leant to his right, one hand snatching out to retrieve the tube of lubricant that was on Harry’s bedside table. Harry’s hand trailed lightly back and forth along Draco’s inner thigh, causing Draco to quiver and moan with anticipation as he pushed the tube into Harry’s free hand.
“Please,” Draco whispered.
Leaning up, Harry and Draco met in a sweet, lingering kiss. Draco’s hand trailing through Harry’s mused hair before landing on his shoulders, gently he pushed him back.
“Harry… need you… now, please.”
Draco’s lust filled voice swam through Harry’s senses, nodding he settled himself on his knees, squirting a plentiful quantity of the viscous liquid into his palm; finger’s wetted in the pooled lubricant before circling the puckered musk-coloured skin of Draco’s anus.
Preparation was quick; one finger, two fingers, three, both moaning with pure want. In one fluid movement, Harry removed his fingers, and, closing his eyes, slowly slid home. Draco’s passage was hot and tight, everything he remembered and wanted, it was enough just to be in there.
Bare chest rubbed against bare chest, delicious friction that drowned the senses, Harry slowly moving out of Draco only to drive back into the delicious warmth seconds later.
Reverent promises, whispered like prayers by both of men, atonements for their earlier indiscretions. Their physical bond heightened by their emotional coupling, wanton need, desire for untainted reassurance, and an insatiable desire to stay together no matter what, drawing the moment closer.
“Harry,” the name was drawn from deep within Draco, his arms linking behind Harry’s shoulders to pull him closer.
Together, their hips moved as one, stomachs massaging Draco’s engorged cock that was trapped between them. The pleasantness of the stimulation of his cock and the fact that Harry was hitting his prostate repeatedly was drawing a more than pleasant feeling in the pit of Draco’s stomach.
“Draco…” Harry breathed. “Come.”
Draco looked up at Harry through half-lidded eyes, Harry’s eyes were closed and his face - his face was one of pure rapture. Draco bucked his hips against Harry, and Harry hit his sweet spot, making him see stars as he came hard on his and Harry’s stomaches. Draco clenched around Harry’s hard length and Harry moaned deep in his throat, his cock shooting his release deep into Draco.
Both sweat and semen covered, collapsed against each other - or rather Harry collapsed on top of Draco - struggling to regain their breaths and control over their muscles. This - no matter how it had come about - was perfection. It wasn’t ideal as the word would imply, but it was what they needed, how they conveyed everything they needed to say even when they couldn’t say it aloud. This was just one reason why they needed each other. Because no one could ever make either of them feel this strongly, this deeply… this much.
Sometime later, Harry finally rolled off of Draco, his now flaccid cock sliding out of Draco causing the blond to hiss through his teeth at the loss. Harry simply held onto Draco, spelling the now drying mess away with a few choice words - sans wand. Harry was staying. Draco needed him, and Harry was staying. Harry loved Draco, and Draco loved Harry, that was enough for both of them. Tomorrow they would deal with the events of that night, but now, now they were merely content with just holding each other, whispering words of comfort and love, hands moving soothingly over smooth skin.
Love isn’t easy, neither was their relationship, but they wouldn’t have it any other way.
♥♥♥♥♥
Draco looped his thumbs in the loops of Harry’s jeans, pulling Harry’s hips flush with his own. Smiling nervously he looked down to see Harry’s hands resting at his waist. Through a veil of fine blond hair, he surveyed his lover.
Chuckling heartily Harry moved his hand up to brush the hair off of Draco’s face before following suit with his own tresses.
“You have something to say?” Harry inquired, his voice laced with amusement.
“You better not be laughing at me, Scarhead.” Draco pouted, raising his chin defiantly.
Solemnly, Harry shook his head negative, offering Draco a sweet smile that just about melted his heart.
“I just wanted to ask you something -- well tell you something… I don’t know.”
Harry laughed again, shaking his head fondly. “Come on Malfoy, you’ve never been one to shy away when you have something to say.”
Draco mumbled something under his breath, lowering his head and shaking his hair to hide his rapidly flushing cheeks.
“What was that, I didn’t catch it.”
“Iloveyou.” Draco rushed out, biting his bottom lip.
Harry gently guided Draco’s chin up, locking eyes with him. Smiling serenely Harry’s eyes drifted skywards as if in deep thought.
“Ummmm.” Harry was obviously taking great pleasure in tormenting Draco when he’d lain his soul bare for all to see, but in the end it didn’t really matter. “Can I tell you a secret, Draco?” he whispered.
Draco nodded, his brows knotting, the muscles in his shoulders tensing to the point of pain.
“I’ve been in love with you for years, I’ve just never told anyone.” Harry stated simply, moving in swiftly to claim Draco’s lips with his own before he could say anything.
♥♥♥♥♥
Concrit feeds the soul