update! 01/10/10
Happy New Year! I'm a little excited about this one because as much as this fic has changed and expanded since I started it, this scene and its basic elements have always been a part of it, in my head. I did not, however, expect it to end up making up a quarter of the entire length of the fic so far, that was a surprise.
There's a lot of music described in this scene, and there are links at the end of the update to all the songs that are specifically referenced, in case anything piques your interest.
If you think you missed an update, or you'd just like to read this in context with the rest of the fic, that's over here.
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Taking his guitar to school almost seemed like just another part of the routine by Friday morning when Kris dragged it onto the bus with him for the last time. He and Megan were old friends with the song by now, so when they met after school they mostly worked on it in specific pieces as Megan added vocal flourishes and Kris messed around with the guitar part so it was less basic than what he'd started with. They were using one of the rehearsal rooms this time, and everything sounded different in a smaller space. It made Kris a little worried about how they'd sound in Pony Espresso, which would be bigger than the choir room, even, and probably full of sound-absorbing armchairs or something. Megan told him that's what microphones were for, and that Pony Espresso didn't have any armchairs.
"Don't worry," she said, patting Kris's shoulder. "The acoustics are so not your problem. Their sound setup is pretty good, all you have to do is sit down and play."
"I can handle that," he said.
"You can," Megan said. "Actually, they even have a house guitar you could play if you don't want to bring yours, but I figured you'd want your own..."
"Yeah, I do. I'm used to this one," Kris said, and glanced at his watch. They had a few minutes. "Should we do it one more time, all the way through?" There were some sections Kris knew he needed to work on when he got home, and he was still feeling wobbly about playing it in an armchair-free coffee house instead of ensconced safely in the music wing somewhere with Megan, but he thought they sounded pretty good, all things considered. "I don't have to dress up for this, do I?" he said as they walked to the buses.
"Nooo, not at all," Megan said. "Wait, Adam didn't tell you that did he?"
"No, I just---"
"Because sometimes he wears weird stuff, but that's just because he feels like it. You can just wear whatever."
"Okay, cool," Kris said, with every intention of just wearing the clothes he already had on.
He got sort of jittery after dinner though, waiting for Megan to come pick him up, so he pawed through his closet to kill some time. (Some small, easily drowned out part of his brain suggested that if he wanted to kill time he could practice his viola, which he'd been ignoring all week.) He decided on a dark green henley shirt that Katy always said looked nice on him, and was just tying his shoes and wondering what kind of "weird stuff" Adam wore to open mics when the doorbell rang. He grabbed his jacket his guitar case and got to the door in time to see his mom meeting Megan, who was standing on his front step with her hair still half in curlers.
"Hi, Kris's mom," she said brightly.
"This is Megan," he said, handing his mom his guitar case so he could put on his jacket.
"I figured," his mom said, "Hi, Megan." She handed Kris back his guitar and kissed him on the cheek. "Have fun, honey. Call if you won't be home by 11."
"We shouldn't be that late," Megan said, pulling one of the remaining curlers out of her hair.
"Bye, mom," Kris said, and followed Megan out to the driveway. Kris had assumed that the "we" in Megan's "we'll pick you up" was Adam, but it turned out to be Anoop, who Kris had heard about (Megan usually referred to him as "sort of her boyfriend"), but hadn't met yet. Anoop was playing Lauryn Hill on his car stereo, so Kris liked him immediately.
"I told Adam to sign us up for an early spot---not like, first, but early," Megan said, talking to Kris over her shoulder as she continued removing the curlers from her hair and dropping them into her lap.
"That way we can...well, not get it over with, but..." Kris said, drumming his fingers on his guitar case.
"Yeah, exactly," Megan said. "Then we can relax and watch everyone else."
"Are you singing, too?" Kris asked Anoop.
"He's too cool for open mics," Megan said.
"I don't think I'm 'too cool'," Anoop said, taking his right hand off the steering wheel to make air quotes.
"...And yet not too cool to have a huge collection of college a capella group music," Megan finished.
"College a capella groups are awesome," Anoop said. He looked at Kris in the rearview mirror. "They do all the instrumental parts with voices, and it's all these layers of sound and harmonies..."
"Nerd," Megan sang out, and flipped down the sun visor to fluff her newly curler-free hair in the mirror. "Long story short, Anoop has a gorgeous voice, but no, he isn't going to sing. Because he hates me, and wants me to be sad."
"Do you want the light on so you can see?" Anoop said.
"Yes, please," Megan said, sounding prim. Anoop reached up and turned the car's dome light on.
"Just because you brought it up..." he said, and switched the CD in the stereo. Megan, who was putting sparkly barrettes in her hair, groaned as the music started up.
"This song," she muttered, but didn't make a move to change the track. The lead vocal began, and Kris recognized it as the Goo Goo Dolls' "Iris," which Kris had gotten pretty sick of when it was super-popular a couple years ago, but the all-vocal arrangement made it seem new, brought back the soaring power the song had had before he'd heard it so many times it became nothing but whiny white noise. The voices swirled around each other almost dizzyingly, the volume and intensity swelled in all the right places, and the lyrics felt like words that meant something real again. For the first time, he was sad he was just playing guitar tonight.
"Okay, this is awesome," he said, during the bridge.
"Isn't it?" Anoop said. "This is Off the Beat, they're from UPenn." They spent the rest of the car ride skipping around to Anoop's favourite tracks on the CD and talking about how many people it took to get this kind of sound (not as many as Kris assumed) and whether they could organize a group like this at the high school (unlikely).
"There, you made an a capella convert, are you happy?" Megan said once they were standing in the parking lot of Pony Espresso.
"Yes," Anoop said, his hands hovering around her hair, which formed a sort of blonde halo-disc around her head like she was a saint in a stained glass window. "I know I was skeptical about the hair, but I like it."
"Good," she said. "My entire bag is full of curlers, but that makes it worth it."
"Aww," Anoop said, sounding sarcastic and pleased at the same time. He leaned forward to kiss the tip of her nose, and Kris felt a little lost for a moment, being here without Katy as they walked into the coffee shop. Kris guessed that what Adam meant by "half-assed western decor" was that aside from some weird Old West-ish stuff sporadically hung on the walls, Pony Espresso looked more or less like Kris's mental picture of a coffee shop. The lighting was dim, the walls were painted a deep red, and there were several large chalkboards with lists of various cappuccinos and lattes, whatever the difference between those two things was. Kris was never sure.
"Adam got us a booth!" Megan said, shaking Anoop's shoulder. Kris looked in the direction Megan was looking and waved to Adam, who was sitting at one of several small booths that were set partially into the wall near the windows. Megan wasn't the only one who had opted for a new hairstyle for the open mic; Adam was wearing his hair slicked back off his face, which made him look different, sort of sharper, older. "You can put your guitar over there." Megan gestured at a corner where there were some mics and chairs set up, as well as an upright piano against one wall. "What do you want to drink?"
"Hot chocolate, I guess," Kris said.
He wove through Pony Espresso's maze of tables, trying not to smack anyone in the head with his guitar case, left it in the corner with several other guitar cases and a small, square instrument case he couldn't identify, hung his jacket on the coat rack and went to go sit down. The booth Adam was sitting at had a smallish round table in the middle of a horseshoe shaped bench seat, rather than two separate benches across from each other. There was a metal cutout of a winged buffalo hanging on the wall above the table. Kris slid around the semi-circle of vinyl upholstery until he was sitting next to Adam.
"Megan is excited that you got this booth," he said.
"We're always trying to snag one of these," Adam said. "It's a whole thing. They always fill up before the regular tables."
Kris surveyed Adam's outfit, which didn't look particularly weird to him---he was wearing a black dress shirt and a shiny silver tie, and more makeup than he usually wore to school. His hair was the coolest part though, Kris thought. It was styled tall enough that Adam was probably about 6'3", and it looked sleek and ultra-black and made Kris want to pet Adam like a cat, one smooth stroke from his forehead around to the nape of his neck. Since that wasn't an option, he settled for saying "I like your hair."
"Thank you," Adam said, and as he moved his head the light caught on some silver glitter on the inner corners of his eyes. "Here, have some muffin." He nudged a giant muffin on a plate so it was sitting between them on the table.
"It's green," Kris said, eying the muffin suspiciously.
"It's pistachio."
Kris nodded. "Do you want to be in an a capella group?"
"Sure," Adam said, like this was a completely normal question he got asked all the time. "Although maybe we should aim for barbershop quartet, we'd already be most of the way there."
"I don't want to have a mustache, though," Kris said, and Adam looked confused for a second, then laughed.
"I don't think they're required for barbershop quartets," he said. "Although the button-down shirts with those armband things might be."
"I could deal with those."
Adam looked at Kris over his tall glass mug of tea. "Was Anoop playing you a capella stuff in the car?"
"Yeah," Kris said, "It sounds so cool. It made me want to sing something, you know?"
"You could," Adam said. "You have your guitar, and there's probably still spots left, the sign-up sheet is over---"
"I'm not serious! I mean, I haven't practiced anything, I really can't..."
"Just a suggestion," Adam said, "But everyone loves Beatles songs, I'm just saying..." Kris realized Megan must have told Adam about their Beatles-song-break the other day, and he had a slightly uneasy but mostly curious feeling at the thought of the two of them having a conversation about him. He was thinking about playing dumb, asking Adam how he knew that Kris had a repertoire of Beatles songs, but Megan and Anoop arrived, carrying drinks and a pastry on a plate.
"One hot chocolate," Megan said, setting down a mug that was topped with a huge cloud of whipped cream. "And we got this pastry...thing."
"It's a bear claw," Anoop said.
"How much do I owe you?" Kris asked, leaning over so he could reach into his back pocket for his wallet.
"You don't," Megan said, pushing his hot chocolate toward him on the table and taking her own drink from Anoop. "Consider this your reward for carrying your guitar on the bus all week."
"Thanks," Kris said, and tried to take a sip of hot chocolate around all the whipped cream.
"You did the fro thing with your hair!" Adam said.
"I finished it like, five seconds ago," Megan said. "Look." She held up her open bag, which really was mostly full of curlers, although Kris could see her wallet floating around in there, too.
She handed her bag to Anoop, who put it on the seat next to him, then looked up at Adam. "Is Matt here yet?"
"Yeah, but he found some unattended girls from Saint Isidore's," Adam said, gesturing to his right. Matt was wearing a dark grey fedora and sitting at a non-booth with some girls in Catholic school uniforms.
"Wait, are they Sonic Pork Chop?" Kris asked.
"Oh my god," Anoop said. "If Sonic Pork Chop are here tonight, I swear I'm going to pelt them with silverware." He brandished a spoon for emphasis.
"They'd probably consider that good feedback," Adam said.
"Good point," Anoop said, using the spoon to stir his drink, viciously. "Maybe I'll tell them their music is just another cog in some kind of corporate machinery."
"That's the sprit," Adam said, raising his glass.
"Anoop hates Sonic Pork Chop," Megan said, her tone indicating that she thought this was adorable. "They're like his nemesis. I'm going to make him a mask and a cape so he can like, sit on rooftops in the moonlight and glare at them."
"But no," Adam said. "Those girls aren't Sonic Pork Chop. And you guys are playing...fourth, I think? You're right after sea shanty guy, and Allison is before him."
"Hey, is the mic working?" asked an amplified voice (clearly, the mic was working), and they all looked forward, toward the piano-and-chairs corner that passed for a stage. A girl wearing a red apron with a pony appliqued on it was sitting down at the piano. "I'm Stacy, I'm going to start us off tonight, so don't order any cappuccinos right now, because Max sucks at the cappuccino machine." Then, bafflingly, she grabbed a pair of pink bunny ears from the top of the piano and put them on. "'This is 'Let's Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits' from 69 Love Songs," she said, and someone yelled "hell yeah!" The song was bizarre and clever and a little dirty. It danced around the phrase "fuck like bunnies" without ever actually using those exact words, and she sang it sort of deadpan but with a grin, and something about it made Kris want to laugh and sigh simultaneously.
"I think I love Stacy," Adam said as she played the last few notes with a flourish.
"Me, too," Anoop said.
"She has ironic bunny ears." Adam looked seriously starry-eyed.
"No one told me I was supposed to bring a costume," Kris said, trying to sound sad.
"I have all these rubber animal snouts at home," Megan said. "I should have brought those. I would let you be the alligator, even."
"Thank you," Kris said, as solemnly as possible. "I appreciate that."
"Oh, here's Allison," Adam said, patting Kris's arm in a hey, pay attention kind of way. Kris looked up at the not-a-stage where Allison, who was cute, with big brown eyes and bright red streaks in her hair, was adjusting the height of the mic stand. "She's amazing, she's in like, eighth grade, but she sings like...well, you'll see."
"This song is off our first record," Allison said into the mic. "Most people don't own it." Adam laughed, and Kris wondered what the joke was. The guy playing guitar for her played the song's opening chords, and Kris realized he had an acoustic electric, which was going to sound way better than Kris's acoustic going through a mic set up at guitar height, and he panicked for a second, thought about seeing if he could borrow this guy's guitar or something, but Allison distracted him from this line of thought when she started singing. She had a total rock-star voice, all warm and low-pitched and with appealingly rough edges. She bounced around as she sang like the teenage girl she was, but her voice seemed to belong to someone else entirely. Kris didn't recognize the song, but he liked it.
After taking a big exaggerated bow while people applauded, Allison came over to see Adam, who swiveled around so she could sit on his lap. She high-fived Megan across the table, then snuggled in, one arm looped around Adam's neck. Adam hugged her, his arms wrapped around her at shoulder height, and both of them looked so comfortable that it made Kris just a little jealous.
"Early Nirvana, that's my girl," Adam said, his voice muffled in Allison's hair. "That song is perfect for you."
"That was a Nirvana song?" Kris said.
"Dude, you haven't heard Unplugged?" Allison said, peering at Kris over Adam's shoulder. She smacked Adam on the arm. "You need to loan him Unplugged."
"Probably," Adam said. "This is Kris, by the way."
"Is he your boyfriend?" Allison looked excited about this, and drew the word "boyfriend" out so it lasted forever.
"He's here to play guitar for Megan," Adam said, sounding dismayed.
"No, we're friends," Kris said, at the same time, their voices overlapping. "You were really good," he told Allison (who was looking sheepish), to try and prevent a giant awkward silence.
"Look, sea shanty guy," Megan said, apparently with the same agenda in mind, and they all looked to the front of the room, where a middle-aged guy wearing a kind of puffy off-white shirt was taking a concertina out of the mystery square instrument case Kris had noticed earlier.
"What's up with that guy and his accordion?" Allison said.
"It's a concertina," Adam and Kris said, almost in unison. Adam looked over his shoulder at Kris and smiled.
"I asked him once," Adam said. "I mean, in a nice way, I wasn't like 'what's up with the concertina?' Anyway, he told me that he thinks he used to work on a whaling ship in a past life, and he still feels really connected to these songs. I thought it was kind of nice, actually. Weird, but nice."
"At least he sings songs with a discernible melody," Anoop said.
"It's okay, honey, Sonic Pork Chop aren't here," Megan said, putting her arm around him consolingly. "Which is good, because you don't even have your grappling gun with you."
"Why am I Batman, all of a sudden?" Anoop said, and then sea shanty guy (who introduced himself as Lloyd) started playing. Kris had been expecting something laughable (honestly, he'd been expecting that song from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, it was the closest thing to a sea shanty he could think of), but the song was interesting, kind of...mournful. Kris could hear storms in it, and the ocean, and loneliness. He thought maybe he was just a really easy audience tonight and everything sounded good to him, but Adam and Allison seemed to be nonverbally agreeing. They were gently swaying back and forth along with the song, and Kris wanted to rest his hands on Adam's shoulders and sway with them. It was almost jarring when the music stopped and Kris remembered that he and Megan were playing like, right now. He looked over at Megan, who smiled at him, nervous but bright-eyed.
"Hey," Kris said, tapping Adam on the shoulder, "We're next---"
"Good timing, my legs are getting numb," Adam said, nudging Allison off his lap and standing up so Kris could get out of the booth. "Good luck," he said, squeezing Kris's shoulder.
"Thanks," Kris said, and followed Megan up to the mics.
His hands were shaking a little as he opened his guitar case and sat down in the chair with the guitar-height mic in front of it, he took a deep breath before he played a few chords, just to make sure he was still in tune. He was, and the sound of the chords echoing out of the speakers made his heart speed up impossibly.
"Is the volume on the guitar okay?" Megan said into the mic. She was fidgeting with the flowered skirt she was wearing over her jeans.
"It sounds good," someone---Adam, that was Adam---yelled back. Kris looked up, but he couldn't really see their booth through the sea of other tables.
"Okay," Megan said into the mic, and then she turned away from it to talk to Kris. "Ready?"
"Ready," he said. He re-settled the guitar in his lap, gave himself a lame little one, two, one two three four count in his head, and started playing. He knew the intro before Megan came in was only fifteen seconds or so, but playing it now it felt longer or shorter or outside of normal time entirely, but he didn't mess it up and then there was Megan's voice, sounding different through the speakers, singing about paradise and parking lots and tree museums and it all started to feel almost familiar, even though his heart was still racing and he could hear people talking quietly and the cappuccino machine or whatever hissing, but that became white noise, just like everything at school had, just like everything else always did. He was aware that they had an audience, and his awareness made the experience shimmer with a nervewracking newness, but it was also still just him and Megan and his guitar, floating in music---his brain supplied a brief, crystal-clear image of them suspended in actual clouds of sharp black musical notes, like some acid trip cartoon---and he could hear Megan smiling as she sang, the way the shape of her mouth changed the sound of the words, all sunshine-joyful, so he looked up at her and smiled back, and mis-strummed just a little, but that was okay, because he caught back up. His hands knew what to do, and his mind was buzzing, a hive full of major-chord bees at the height of summer. He felt like he could do this forever.
But the song was only about two and a half minutes long, so well before forever arrived he was letting the notes of the last chord die out and looking up at Megan again. They beamed at each other, sky high and relieved, surrounded by the falling water sound of applause.
"Thank you," Megan said into the mic, "I'm Megan, and that's Kris on guitar." Kris raised his hand in a half-wave, and he got up to put his guitar back in its case, and he was pretty sure Megan kissed him on the cheek and they must have walked back across the room because suddenly he was sitting in their booth in front of his mostly-cold-by-now hot chocolate with no real memory of how he got there.
"Whoa," Kris said, shaking his head a little and looking around.
"Kind of a performance trance state, right?" Adam said, and he got it, Kris could see it in his eyes, this warm, amused understanding that made him feel oddly grateful. "Welcome back."
"Hi," Kris breathed out. He was still clutching his guitar pick in his right hand, and he put it down on the table next to his hot chocolate. "How did we sound?"
"Really good. And I...the way you play guitar, it's..." Adam trailed off, moving his hands like he was trying to find words he couldn't reach.
"Fabuliffic," Megan suggested, startling Kris a little. She was leaning her head on Anoop's shoulder, looking the way Kris felt, caught between wired and sleepy, but somehow content. "Seriously, thank you for doing this. I kind of do want you to follow me around like a wandering minstrel."
Anoop looked at her sideways and raised his eyebrows. "...Wandering minstrel?
"Yes. We need to get him a...thing. That minstrels play. It's like a guitar, but smaller..." She drew a rounded shape in the air with her hands.
"A lute," Anoop said.
"That's it," Megan said, and then a girl with a guitar was talking into the mic, so they turned to watch, shifting on the bench so that they were both facing forward and Megan was leaning against Anoop's chest. The girl was playing a song she'd written, and it sounded nice, but Kris was still sort of...whatever Adam had called it, trance state-y, so he was just along for the ride, sipping hot chocolate and nodding along with her chord changes without really absorbing the lyrics.
"You should sing next time," Adam said, leaning over to talk quietly, close to Kris's ear. Kris closed his eyes for a moment.
"Maybe," he said.
There was a guy with a ponytail reading poetry next, which made Adam roll his eyes. "There's a whole separate night just for poetry readings, couldn't he go to that?" he stage whispered, and Kris was still sort of loopy with adrenaline but this seemed like the funniest thing ever. He was slouched down in his seat so he could put his guitar pick in his pocket, so he leaned his face into Adam's shoulder to muffle his laughter. "Are you---oh, you're laughing. Okay," Adam said, and patted Kris's hair, two brief little all right, carry on pats that just made Kris laugh harder. Once he pulled himself together, he turned so he could look up at Adam, head still resting against his arm. He felt ridiculous, but not embarrassed, exactly.
"Sorry about that," he said, because it was the thing to say. He wasn't actually sorry, because Adam didn't seem the slightest bit upset or annoyed or like he wanted to ask what the hell were you even laughing about, crazy person?, which made Kris really happy.
"Not a problem," Adam said, and Kris reluctantly dragged himself back up to a normal sitting position and finally decided to sample the pistachio muffin, despite the fact that St. Patrick's Day was the only time food should be dyed green. Poetry-reading-guy had been replaced by a guy and a girl who were ironing out some guitar tuning issues before they launched into a duet. Kris didn't know the song, but he could tell Adam did, just by watching him listen.
Kris leaned in to ask Adam what the song was, and got about half a syllable in before Adam said, "This is a Led Zeppelin song. It's called 'Tangerine.'"
"I like it," Kris said, and he wanted to rest his chin on Adam's shoulder to keep listening, it was just...that kind of song, but he didn't.
Matt's Saint Isidore's girls were playing next, and he made begging faces at Megan until she and Anoop slid down so he could sit with them.
"You sounded good up there," he said, pulling one of Megan's curls straight and letting it bounce back into shape. He gave Kris a thumbs-up across the table. "Nice harpsichord, too."
"Oh, you're kidding," Megan said, looking up at the not-a-stage, where the girls from Saint Isidore's were doing a piano cover of that Savage Garden song "I Knew I Loved You" that Kris felt like he'd heard every time he walked into somewhere with a radio last year. "You just wasted like, an hour flirting with girls who are now singing Savage Garden."
"You're such a music snob," Matt said, feigning hurt. They all sat quietly through the song's first chorus. "Okay, no, this song is pretty bad."
"How can you love someone before you meet them? That doesn't even make sense!"
"Maybe it's about internet dating," Matt said, trying not to laugh.
"It is not," Anoop said. "It's just bad. Admit it."
"I already did," Matt said around a mouthful of Megan and Anoop's bear claw.
"This is what happens when you ignore your friends for random girls in plaid skirts," Megan said.
"They're nice," Matt insisted.
"Did they tell you they knew they loved you before they met you?" Anoop asked, and Matt flicked a sliced almond from the top of the bear claw at him.
"It's that guy Adam has a crush on," Megan said, nodding at the front of the room, where the Savage Garden girls were wrapping up and a guy with dark hair was sitting down with his guitar. He had sort of sharp features, and a goatee that Kris thought looked stupid.
"I don't have a crush on him," Adam said, stirring his tea and looking a little embarrassed.
"Whatever you say," Megan said, smacking Matt's hand away from the bear claw. The guy Adam did or didn't have a crush on introduced himself as Nick and said he was playing an original song, which Kris didn't feel like listening to after the first few lines, it was about snowstorms and broken hearts or something, whatever, it was boring, so he talked to Anoop---the booth was small enough that they were almost sitting next to each other now---about 90s R&B and why neither of them wanted to join the school choir. Adam was watching Nick, but he didn't look smitten (like he had with Stacy the bunny ears girl) or loose-limbed and contented (like he had during the Led Zeppelin song), so Kris figured maybe Megan was wrong about the crush thing.
"My turn," Matt said, taking a sip of Megan's drink and getting up before she could yell at him about it. He sat down at the piano, tipped his hat back on his head a little, and adjusted the mic. "How about some Creedence?" he said, and started playing. It was definitely the most up-tempo song anyone had done so far, something about being in a traveling band, and Kris was half expecting the piano to burst into flames at some point, because Matt was pretty amazing.
"I wish there was more room to dance," Megan said, tapping her fingers on the tabletop.
"We need to learn to swing dance," Adam said. He and Kris were both sort of sway-bopping along to the song, and occasionally their shoulders would bump together. "This song makes me want to swing dance."
"We can do the hand jive," Megan offered, and she and Adam did a series of weird hand motions at each other, more or less in sync with each other and the music.
"Not the same," Adam said, standing up and smoothing the front of his shirt as Matt finished the song. Kris thought he was going to go get another drink or something, but he was making his way over to the mics before Kris could wish him luck. Kris felt a little nervous by proxy as Adam adjusted the mic stand. Matt played a few chords. "No," Adam said, and Kris was momentarily confused. "I thought we said the Boston song."
"Nope," Matt said, airily. "You should do this one."
"That song is like a suicide note! I'm not singing---"
"You can sing whatever you want, but I'm playing 'Evaporated.'"
"I hate you," Adam said, and then talked more directly into the mic. "If this makes you want to jump into oncoming traffic, blame Matt. You can also blame Ben Folds, he wrote the song," he said, his voice all unexpected and stage-banter smooth. It reminded Kris he hadn't actually known Adam for very long.
Then he started singing, and Kris's jaw actually dropped a little. He knew he'd heard Adam sing before, at the school concerts or in the musical, and he had a dim recollection of thinking in passing that Adam had a good voice, but right now he wanted to go back in time and kick himself for not paying closer attention, because he had no idea how he hadn't remembered Adam was this good, how it hadn't stood out in his mind more, how he hadn't noticed. His voice was strong and so clear it made Kris think of prisms, sharp triangular glass shapes throwing light everywhere. The song (Adam was right) was sad, in a good, satisfying-melancholy way, and he sang it with such openness that Kris's chest ached. He was completely intimidated, he couldn't believe he'd just been sitting next to this guy, eating off his plate, but at the same time he just wanted to wrap Adam up in his arms and fix whatever hurt was behind the way he sang this song. Kris had liked to sit under tables as a kid, it was one of those things his mom liked to drag out as a "wasn't Kris cute" story. He'd liked the small space and the different light and mostly the way it made him feel safe and secret and there was something about that he wanted. He wanted to duck under the table and sit and be wide-eyed and alone with Adam's voice, the sound and the song and the faint, beautiful pain of it, of Adam singing about being lost, about pouring his heart out.
He managed to stay sitting at table-level, though, and he tried to think of what he could say, how to tell Adam about any of this, because it seemed like something he should know, something he needed to know, but all Kris could come up with that wasn't completely crazy (Adam seemed okay with crazy, but your voice makes me think of prisms was maybe a little too crazy) was I didn't know you could sing like that, and that was possibly rude, and it wasn't even the important part.
"...You know you sound really good on that song, stop bitching," Matt was saying as he and Adam walked back to the booth.
"You're just trying to be the only person playing something danceable tonight," Adam said, sitting down next to Kris. "Don't think I don't know. I'm going to get Kris to play guitar for me next time, I bet he won't just spring some random depressing song on me and insist---"
"That wasn't depressing," Kris said, and suddenly everyone was looking at him. "It was---" it made me want to sit under the table, his mind supplied, and he almost laughed out loud. "Really good," he finished, hating himself.
"You do sound good on that song," Megan said, reaching across the table to grab Adam's hand.
"Nice high notes," Anoop added, and leaned over to poke Matt in the shoulder. "And I'm glad you didn't do the Jerry Lee Lewis thing."
"I don't know what you all have against Jerry Lee Lewis," Matt said. "He set pianos on fire."
"He married his thirteen year old cousin," Anoop said. "And 'Great Balls of Fire' is a total piano rock cliché. You're way better off doing something people don't halfway expect the second you sit down at a piano."
Matt said something back, but there was a girl with pigtails playing the ukulele and singing "Dream a Little Dream of Me," so Kris tuned them out and listened to that instead. It sounded pretty and almost lullabye-esque, and Adam seemed to think so, too, because he was slouched down a little so he could lean his head back on the seat. His eyes were closed and he was holding his mug of tea cradled against his chest, and Kris was struck again by how many things he seemed to be, how many things he was at the same time, that he'd just sung like his heart was broken and the world was ending and now he was here, next to Kris, almost napping, weirdly kitten-cute. Adam went to take a sip of tea, and frowned into his mug.
"I'm out of tea," he said.
"I think I want a ukulele," Kris replied. Adam looked up at him (and that was an angle Kris hadn't seen his face from before, he was usually the one looking up at Adam) and laughed.
"Let's trade. You get me more tea, and I'll go steal that girl's ukulele."
"Deal," Kris said, and he had this momentary flash of understanding that he probably could have told Adam his voice was like a prism, that Adam would have just laughed and been flattered, and just thinking about that made him smile. "...I really will go get you more tea if you want," he said, which wasn't quite the gesture he wanted to make, but it was a gesture.
"That's okay, I'm good," Adam said, putting down his empty mug and pulling the muffin plate (now mostly empty of muffin) toward him. "I'll get up in a minute."
"Hey, Alexis is here, I didn't see her before," Megan said, pointing up to the mics, and it was like things went on fast-forward from there. The actual open mic proceedings lost some momentum---after Alexis, who was small and blonde and adorable, there were a couple of women about Kris's mom's age doing something folk music-ish, a guy with glasses who sang a gospel song Kris half recognized, and a girl doing a shaky piano cover of a Britney Spears song, but once the performances slowed down, the energy and volume of conversations in the room went way up, and different people (Alexis, Kris's bake sale partner Becky, a guy who knew Adam from some community theater thing) kept dropping by. Megan introduced Kris to the ukulele girl, who let him play some chords while Megan tried to make Anoop hula dance with her; Matt went to flirt with bunny-ears Stacy and play the piano; Kris talked about the school's soccer team with Becky's boyfriend; and at some point, Adam actually did get up and get more tea; and then Stacy was flicking the mic back on with a quiet squeal of feedback to let everyone know they were shutting off the coffee machines for the night.
Matt was playing something soft and jazzy, very Last Song of the Night, and Megan yawned hugely and set off a yawning domino effect in the booth. Kris's right side was warm where he was almost pressed up against Adam (there'd been a lot of seat-rearranging and sliding further over so more people could sit down throughout the evening), and he felt completely at home.
"I guess we should get going," Anoop said, and Megan grabbed his wrist to look at his watch.
"Who's going to move so we can get out?" she said, looking between Adam and Becky, who were sitting on the outside edges of the booth.
Adam, in answer, sort of half-rolled himself out of his seat, stood up and stretched his arms over his head. Kris was tempted to just sprawl out into the space he'd left, but he slid out of the booth, followed by Anoop, Megan's bag of curlers, and Megan. Megan doled out goodnight hugs---to Adam, and then to Kris and Anoop even though they were all going home in the same car, so Kris figured what the hell, and gave Adam a goodnight hug of his own. Kris hugged people---he hugged his other guy friends---all the time, so he was used to hugging people who were taller than him, but this was different, somehow, he was really aware of Adam's shirt being soft, but not t-shirt soft, under his cheekbone where his face was tucked against Adam's shoulder, of the fact that Adam smelled kind of good, of how broad Adam's hands felt resting against his back. He smiled into Adam's shirt, let out a breath that was almost a sigh, and took a step back, keeping one hand on Adam's shoulder.
"This was fun," he said, and he barely even wanted to wince at how lame that sounded.
"Yeah," Adam said, and his tie was crooked, and Kris thought about fixing it for him, but then Megan was handing him his jacket, followed by his guitar case, and they were on their way.
After talking briefly to his parents when he got home (he assured his mom that yes, he'd had a good time and his dad that the song had gone fine, and Daniel stayed in his room and ignored Kris's arrival completely, which was fine), Kris put his guitar down, put his pajamas on, and curled up under his blankets. It was only about 10:30, but he could barely keep his eyes open. He thought about listening to a CD, but he had the weird feeling that listening to something recorded would somehow negate everything he'd heard tonight, make it less clear in his head. There'd been so much stuff going on, so many people talking, that while he'd still been at Pony Espresso the experience of playing his guitar for an actual audience had started to seem far away really quickly, but now that he was here by himself in a quiet room, it was all he could think about, the insane and wonderful way it had felt, like everything was bigger and brighter and humming with sound. His heart sped up a little just thinking about it. He thought about asking his parents for a ukulele for Christmas, or maybe an acoustic electric guitar. He thought about Adam, singing, his voice as big as the entire room, his eyes sad and darkly pretty. He fell asleep with his mental radio playing him a mashup of "Big Yellow Taxi," that stupid song about loving someone before you met them, and Adam's voice, singing I poured my heart out, over and over.
____________
Music Links!
First of all, Off the Beat's Iris. Off the Beat really are amazing, and please do enjoy the slideshow of high school kids from the Phillipines. (This was the only video on YouTube with this song.)
And the actual open mic selections:
The Magnetic Fields - Let's Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits
Nirvana - About a Girl (from MTV Unplugged---on the CD of this performance [although not in this vid], Kurt introduces this song with "This song is off our first record. Most people don't own it.")
Led Zeppelin - Tangerine
Savage Garden - I Knew I Loved You (for the sake of completeness, here...)
Creedence Clearwater Revival - Travelin' Band
Ben Folds Five - Evaporated
(and Adam's alternate song selection, Boston's Peace of Mind. I don't know if this would work as a piano cover, but I can hear his voice all over it.)
and, randomly, Zooey Deschanel doing Dream a Little Dream of Me.
next update >
There's a lot of music described in this scene, and there are links at the end of the update to all the songs that are specifically referenced, in case anything piques your interest.
If you think you missed an update, or you'd just like to read this in context with the rest of the fic, that's over here.
____________
Taking his guitar to school almost seemed like just another part of the routine by Friday morning when Kris dragged it onto the bus with him for the last time. He and Megan were old friends with the song by now, so when they met after school they mostly worked on it in specific pieces as Megan added vocal flourishes and Kris messed around with the guitar part so it was less basic than what he'd started with. They were using one of the rehearsal rooms this time, and everything sounded different in a smaller space. It made Kris a little worried about how they'd sound in Pony Espresso, which would be bigger than the choir room, even, and probably full of sound-absorbing armchairs or something. Megan told him that's what microphones were for, and that Pony Espresso didn't have any armchairs.
"Don't worry," she said, patting Kris's shoulder. "The acoustics are so not your problem. Their sound setup is pretty good, all you have to do is sit down and play."
"I can handle that," he said.
"You can," Megan said. "Actually, they even have a house guitar you could play if you don't want to bring yours, but I figured you'd want your own..."
"Yeah, I do. I'm used to this one," Kris said, and glanced at his watch. They had a few minutes. "Should we do it one more time, all the way through?" There were some sections Kris knew he needed to work on when he got home, and he was still feeling wobbly about playing it in an armchair-free coffee house instead of ensconced safely in the music wing somewhere with Megan, but he thought they sounded pretty good, all things considered. "I don't have to dress up for this, do I?" he said as they walked to the buses.
"Nooo, not at all," Megan said. "Wait, Adam didn't tell you that did he?"
"No, I just---"
"Because sometimes he wears weird stuff, but that's just because he feels like it. You can just wear whatever."
"Okay, cool," Kris said, with every intention of just wearing the clothes he already had on.
He got sort of jittery after dinner though, waiting for Megan to come pick him up, so he pawed through his closet to kill some time. (Some small, easily drowned out part of his brain suggested that if he wanted to kill time he could practice his viola, which he'd been ignoring all week.) He decided on a dark green henley shirt that Katy always said looked nice on him, and was just tying his shoes and wondering what kind of "weird stuff" Adam wore to open mics when the doorbell rang. He grabbed his jacket his guitar case and got to the door in time to see his mom meeting Megan, who was standing on his front step with her hair still half in curlers.
"Hi, Kris's mom," she said brightly.
"This is Megan," he said, handing his mom his guitar case so he could put on his jacket.
"I figured," his mom said, "Hi, Megan." She handed Kris back his guitar and kissed him on the cheek. "Have fun, honey. Call if you won't be home by 11."
"We shouldn't be that late," Megan said, pulling one of the remaining curlers out of her hair.
"Bye, mom," Kris said, and followed Megan out to the driveway. Kris had assumed that the "we" in Megan's "we'll pick you up" was Adam, but it turned out to be Anoop, who Kris had heard about (Megan usually referred to him as "sort of her boyfriend"), but hadn't met yet. Anoop was playing Lauryn Hill on his car stereo, so Kris liked him immediately.
"I told Adam to sign us up for an early spot---not like, first, but early," Megan said, talking to Kris over her shoulder as she continued removing the curlers from her hair and dropping them into her lap.
"That way we can...well, not get it over with, but..." Kris said, drumming his fingers on his guitar case.
"Yeah, exactly," Megan said. "Then we can relax and watch everyone else."
"Are you singing, too?" Kris asked Anoop.
"He's too cool for open mics," Megan said.
"I don't think I'm 'too cool'," Anoop said, taking his right hand off the steering wheel to make air quotes.
"...And yet not too cool to have a huge collection of college a capella group music," Megan finished.
"College a capella groups are awesome," Anoop said. He looked at Kris in the rearview mirror. "They do all the instrumental parts with voices, and it's all these layers of sound and harmonies..."
"Nerd," Megan sang out, and flipped down the sun visor to fluff her newly curler-free hair in the mirror. "Long story short, Anoop has a gorgeous voice, but no, he isn't going to sing. Because he hates me, and wants me to be sad."
"Do you want the light on so you can see?" Anoop said.
"Yes, please," Megan said, sounding prim. Anoop reached up and turned the car's dome light on.
"Just because you brought it up..." he said, and switched the CD in the stereo. Megan, who was putting sparkly barrettes in her hair, groaned as the music started up.
"This song," she muttered, but didn't make a move to change the track. The lead vocal began, and Kris recognized it as the Goo Goo Dolls' "Iris," which Kris had gotten pretty sick of when it was super-popular a couple years ago, but the all-vocal arrangement made it seem new, brought back the soaring power the song had had before he'd heard it so many times it became nothing but whiny white noise. The voices swirled around each other almost dizzyingly, the volume and intensity swelled in all the right places, and the lyrics felt like words that meant something real again. For the first time, he was sad he was just playing guitar tonight.
"Okay, this is awesome," he said, during the bridge.
"Isn't it?" Anoop said. "This is Off the Beat, they're from UPenn." They spent the rest of the car ride skipping around to Anoop's favourite tracks on the CD and talking about how many people it took to get this kind of sound (not as many as Kris assumed) and whether they could organize a group like this at the high school (unlikely).
"There, you made an a capella convert, are you happy?" Megan said once they were standing in the parking lot of Pony Espresso.
"Yes," Anoop said, his hands hovering around her hair, which formed a sort of blonde halo-disc around her head like she was a saint in a stained glass window. "I know I was skeptical about the hair, but I like it."
"Good," she said. "My entire bag is full of curlers, but that makes it worth it."
"Aww," Anoop said, sounding sarcastic and pleased at the same time. He leaned forward to kiss the tip of her nose, and Kris felt a little lost for a moment, being here without Katy as they walked into the coffee shop. Kris guessed that what Adam meant by "half-assed western decor" was that aside from some weird Old West-ish stuff sporadically hung on the walls, Pony Espresso looked more or less like Kris's mental picture of a coffee shop. The lighting was dim, the walls were painted a deep red, and there were several large chalkboards with lists of various cappuccinos and lattes, whatever the difference between those two things was. Kris was never sure.
"Adam got us a booth!" Megan said, shaking Anoop's shoulder. Kris looked in the direction Megan was looking and waved to Adam, who was sitting at one of several small booths that were set partially into the wall near the windows. Megan wasn't the only one who had opted for a new hairstyle for the open mic; Adam was wearing his hair slicked back off his face, which made him look different, sort of sharper, older. "You can put your guitar over there." Megan gestured at a corner where there were some mics and chairs set up, as well as an upright piano against one wall. "What do you want to drink?"
"Hot chocolate, I guess," Kris said.
He wove through Pony Espresso's maze of tables, trying not to smack anyone in the head with his guitar case, left it in the corner with several other guitar cases and a small, square instrument case he couldn't identify, hung his jacket on the coat rack and went to go sit down. The booth Adam was sitting at had a smallish round table in the middle of a horseshoe shaped bench seat, rather than two separate benches across from each other. There was a metal cutout of a winged buffalo hanging on the wall above the table. Kris slid around the semi-circle of vinyl upholstery until he was sitting next to Adam.
"Megan is excited that you got this booth," he said.
"We're always trying to snag one of these," Adam said. "It's a whole thing. They always fill up before the regular tables."
Kris surveyed Adam's outfit, which didn't look particularly weird to him---he was wearing a black dress shirt and a shiny silver tie, and more makeup than he usually wore to school. His hair was the coolest part though, Kris thought. It was styled tall enough that Adam was probably about 6'3", and it looked sleek and ultra-black and made Kris want to pet Adam like a cat, one smooth stroke from his forehead around to the nape of his neck. Since that wasn't an option, he settled for saying "I like your hair."
"Thank you," Adam said, and as he moved his head the light caught on some silver glitter on the inner corners of his eyes. "Here, have some muffin." He nudged a giant muffin on a plate so it was sitting between them on the table.
"It's green," Kris said, eying the muffin suspiciously.
"It's pistachio."
Kris nodded. "Do you want to be in an a capella group?"
"Sure," Adam said, like this was a completely normal question he got asked all the time. "Although maybe we should aim for barbershop quartet, we'd already be most of the way there."
"I don't want to have a mustache, though," Kris said, and Adam looked confused for a second, then laughed.
"I don't think they're required for barbershop quartets," he said. "Although the button-down shirts with those armband things might be."
"I could deal with those."
Adam looked at Kris over his tall glass mug of tea. "Was Anoop playing you a capella stuff in the car?"
"Yeah," Kris said, "It sounds so cool. It made me want to sing something, you know?"
"You could," Adam said. "You have your guitar, and there's probably still spots left, the sign-up sheet is over---"
"I'm not serious! I mean, I haven't practiced anything, I really can't..."
"Just a suggestion," Adam said, "But everyone loves Beatles songs, I'm just saying..." Kris realized Megan must have told Adam about their Beatles-song-break the other day, and he had a slightly uneasy but mostly curious feeling at the thought of the two of them having a conversation about him. He was thinking about playing dumb, asking Adam how he knew that Kris had a repertoire of Beatles songs, but Megan and Anoop arrived, carrying drinks and a pastry on a plate.
"One hot chocolate," Megan said, setting down a mug that was topped with a huge cloud of whipped cream. "And we got this pastry...thing."
"It's a bear claw," Anoop said.
"How much do I owe you?" Kris asked, leaning over so he could reach into his back pocket for his wallet.
"You don't," Megan said, pushing his hot chocolate toward him on the table and taking her own drink from Anoop. "Consider this your reward for carrying your guitar on the bus all week."
"Thanks," Kris said, and tried to take a sip of hot chocolate around all the whipped cream.
"You did the fro thing with your hair!" Adam said.
"I finished it like, five seconds ago," Megan said. "Look." She held up her open bag, which really was mostly full of curlers, although Kris could see her wallet floating around in there, too.
She handed her bag to Anoop, who put it on the seat next to him, then looked up at Adam. "Is Matt here yet?"
"Yeah, but he found some unattended girls from Saint Isidore's," Adam said, gesturing to his right. Matt was wearing a dark grey fedora and sitting at a non-booth with some girls in Catholic school uniforms.
"Wait, are they Sonic Pork Chop?" Kris asked.
"Oh my god," Anoop said. "If Sonic Pork Chop are here tonight, I swear I'm going to pelt them with silverware." He brandished a spoon for emphasis.
"They'd probably consider that good feedback," Adam said.
"Good point," Anoop said, using the spoon to stir his drink, viciously. "Maybe I'll tell them their music is just another cog in some kind of corporate machinery."
"That's the sprit," Adam said, raising his glass.
"Anoop hates Sonic Pork Chop," Megan said, her tone indicating that she thought this was adorable. "They're like his nemesis. I'm going to make him a mask and a cape so he can like, sit on rooftops in the moonlight and glare at them."
"But no," Adam said. "Those girls aren't Sonic Pork Chop. And you guys are playing...fourth, I think? You're right after sea shanty guy, and Allison is before him."
"Hey, is the mic working?" asked an amplified voice (clearly, the mic was working), and they all looked forward, toward the piano-and-chairs corner that passed for a stage. A girl wearing a red apron with a pony appliqued on it was sitting down at the piano. "I'm Stacy, I'm going to start us off tonight, so don't order any cappuccinos right now, because Max sucks at the cappuccino machine." Then, bafflingly, she grabbed a pair of pink bunny ears from the top of the piano and put them on. "'This is 'Let's Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits' from 69 Love Songs," she said, and someone yelled "hell yeah!" The song was bizarre and clever and a little dirty. It danced around the phrase "fuck like bunnies" without ever actually using those exact words, and she sang it sort of deadpan but with a grin, and something about it made Kris want to laugh and sigh simultaneously.
"I think I love Stacy," Adam said as she played the last few notes with a flourish.
"Me, too," Anoop said.
"She has ironic bunny ears." Adam looked seriously starry-eyed.
"No one told me I was supposed to bring a costume," Kris said, trying to sound sad.
"I have all these rubber animal snouts at home," Megan said. "I should have brought those. I would let you be the alligator, even."
"Thank you," Kris said, as solemnly as possible. "I appreciate that."
"Oh, here's Allison," Adam said, patting Kris's arm in a hey, pay attention kind of way. Kris looked up at the not-a-stage where Allison, who was cute, with big brown eyes and bright red streaks in her hair, was adjusting the height of the mic stand. "She's amazing, she's in like, eighth grade, but she sings like...well, you'll see."
"This song is off our first record," Allison said into the mic. "Most people don't own it." Adam laughed, and Kris wondered what the joke was. The guy playing guitar for her played the song's opening chords, and Kris realized he had an acoustic electric, which was going to sound way better than Kris's acoustic going through a mic set up at guitar height, and he panicked for a second, thought about seeing if he could borrow this guy's guitar or something, but Allison distracted him from this line of thought when she started singing. She had a total rock-star voice, all warm and low-pitched and with appealingly rough edges. She bounced around as she sang like the teenage girl she was, but her voice seemed to belong to someone else entirely. Kris didn't recognize the song, but he liked it.
After taking a big exaggerated bow while people applauded, Allison came over to see Adam, who swiveled around so she could sit on his lap. She high-fived Megan across the table, then snuggled in, one arm looped around Adam's neck. Adam hugged her, his arms wrapped around her at shoulder height, and both of them looked so comfortable that it made Kris just a little jealous.
"Early Nirvana, that's my girl," Adam said, his voice muffled in Allison's hair. "That song is perfect for you."
"That was a Nirvana song?" Kris said.
"Dude, you haven't heard Unplugged?" Allison said, peering at Kris over Adam's shoulder. She smacked Adam on the arm. "You need to loan him Unplugged."
"Probably," Adam said. "This is Kris, by the way."
"Is he your boyfriend?" Allison looked excited about this, and drew the word "boyfriend" out so it lasted forever.
"He's here to play guitar for Megan," Adam said, sounding dismayed.
"No, we're friends," Kris said, at the same time, their voices overlapping. "You were really good," he told Allison (who was looking sheepish), to try and prevent a giant awkward silence.
"Look, sea shanty guy," Megan said, apparently with the same agenda in mind, and they all looked to the front of the room, where a middle-aged guy wearing a kind of puffy off-white shirt was taking a concertina out of the mystery square instrument case Kris had noticed earlier.
"What's up with that guy and his accordion?" Allison said.
"It's a concertina," Adam and Kris said, almost in unison. Adam looked over his shoulder at Kris and smiled.
"I asked him once," Adam said. "I mean, in a nice way, I wasn't like 'what's up with the concertina?' Anyway, he told me that he thinks he used to work on a whaling ship in a past life, and he still feels really connected to these songs. I thought it was kind of nice, actually. Weird, but nice."
"At least he sings songs with a discernible melody," Anoop said.
"It's okay, honey, Sonic Pork Chop aren't here," Megan said, putting her arm around him consolingly. "Which is good, because you don't even have your grappling gun with you."
"Why am I Batman, all of a sudden?" Anoop said, and then sea shanty guy (who introduced himself as Lloyd) started playing. Kris had been expecting something laughable (honestly, he'd been expecting that song from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, it was the closest thing to a sea shanty he could think of), but the song was interesting, kind of...mournful. Kris could hear storms in it, and the ocean, and loneliness. He thought maybe he was just a really easy audience tonight and everything sounded good to him, but Adam and Allison seemed to be nonverbally agreeing. They were gently swaying back and forth along with the song, and Kris wanted to rest his hands on Adam's shoulders and sway with them. It was almost jarring when the music stopped and Kris remembered that he and Megan were playing like, right now. He looked over at Megan, who smiled at him, nervous but bright-eyed.
"Hey," Kris said, tapping Adam on the shoulder, "We're next---"
"Good timing, my legs are getting numb," Adam said, nudging Allison off his lap and standing up so Kris could get out of the booth. "Good luck," he said, squeezing Kris's shoulder.
"Thanks," Kris said, and followed Megan up to the mics.
His hands were shaking a little as he opened his guitar case and sat down in the chair with the guitar-height mic in front of it, he took a deep breath before he played a few chords, just to make sure he was still in tune. He was, and the sound of the chords echoing out of the speakers made his heart speed up impossibly.
"Is the volume on the guitar okay?" Megan said into the mic. She was fidgeting with the flowered skirt she was wearing over her jeans.
"It sounds good," someone---Adam, that was Adam---yelled back. Kris looked up, but he couldn't really see their booth through the sea of other tables.
"Okay," Megan said into the mic, and then she turned away from it to talk to Kris. "Ready?"
"Ready," he said. He re-settled the guitar in his lap, gave himself a lame little one, two, one two three four count in his head, and started playing. He knew the intro before Megan came in was only fifteen seconds or so, but playing it now it felt longer or shorter or outside of normal time entirely, but he didn't mess it up and then there was Megan's voice, sounding different through the speakers, singing about paradise and parking lots and tree museums and it all started to feel almost familiar, even though his heart was still racing and he could hear people talking quietly and the cappuccino machine or whatever hissing, but that became white noise, just like everything at school had, just like everything else always did. He was aware that they had an audience, and his awareness made the experience shimmer with a nervewracking newness, but it was also still just him and Megan and his guitar, floating in music---his brain supplied a brief, crystal-clear image of them suspended in actual clouds of sharp black musical notes, like some acid trip cartoon---and he could hear Megan smiling as she sang, the way the shape of her mouth changed the sound of the words, all sunshine-joyful, so he looked up at her and smiled back, and mis-strummed just a little, but that was okay, because he caught back up. His hands knew what to do, and his mind was buzzing, a hive full of major-chord bees at the height of summer. He felt like he could do this forever.
But the song was only about two and a half minutes long, so well before forever arrived he was letting the notes of the last chord die out and looking up at Megan again. They beamed at each other, sky high and relieved, surrounded by the falling water sound of applause.
"Thank you," Megan said into the mic, "I'm Megan, and that's Kris on guitar." Kris raised his hand in a half-wave, and he got up to put his guitar back in its case, and he was pretty sure Megan kissed him on the cheek and they must have walked back across the room because suddenly he was sitting in their booth in front of his mostly-cold-by-now hot chocolate with no real memory of how he got there.
"Whoa," Kris said, shaking his head a little and looking around.
"Kind of a performance trance state, right?" Adam said, and he got it, Kris could see it in his eyes, this warm, amused understanding that made him feel oddly grateful. "Welcome back."
"Hi," Kris breathed out. He was still clutching his guitar pick in his right hand, and he put it down on the table next to his hot chocolate. "How did we sound?"
"Really good. And I...the way you play guitar, it's..." Adam trailed off, moving his hands like he was trying to find words he couldn't reach.
"Fabuliffic," Megan suggested, startling Kris a little. She was leaning her head on Anoop's shoulder, looking the way Kris felt, caught between wired and sleepy, but somehow content. "Seriously, thank you for doing this. I kind of do want you to follow me around like a wandering minstrel."
Anoop looked at her sideways and raised his eyebrows. "...Wandering minstrel?
"Yes. We need to get him a...thing. That minstrels play. It's like a guitar, but smaller..." She drew a rounded shape in the air with her hands.
"A lute," Anoop said.
"That's it," Megan said, and then a girl with a guitar was talking into the mic, so they turned to watch, shifting on the bench so that they were both facing forward and Megan was leaning against Anoop's chest. The girl was playing a song she'd written, and it sounded nice, but Kris was still sort of...whatever Adam had called it, trance state-y, so he was just along for the ride, sipping hot chocolate and nodding along with her chord changes without really absorbing the lyrics.
"You should sing next time," Adam said, leaning over to talk quietly, close to Kris's ear. Kris closed his eyes for a moment.
"Maybe," he said.
There was a guy with a ponytail reading poetry next, which made Adam roll his eyes. "There's a whole separate night just for poetry readings, couldn't he go to that?" he stage whispered, and Kris was still sort of loopy with adrenaline but this seemed like the funniest thing ever. He was slouched down in his seat so he could put his guitar pick in his pocket, so he leaned his face into Adam's shoulder to muffle his laughter. "Are you---oh, you're laughing. Okay," Adam said, and patted Kris's hair, two brief little all right, carry on pats that just made Kris laugh harder. Once he pulled himself together, he turned so he could look up at Adam, head still resting against his arm. He felt ridiculous, but not embarrassed, exactly.
"Sorry about that," he said, because it was the thing to say. He wasn't actually sorry, because Adam didn't seem the slightest bit upset or annoyed or like he wanted to ask what the hell were you even laughing about, crazy person?, which made Kris really happy.
"Not a problem," Adam said, and Kris reluctantly dragged himself back up to a normal sitting position and finally decided to sample the pistachio muffin, despite the fact that St. Patrick's Day was the only time food should be dyed green. Poetry-reading-guy had been replaced by a guy and a girl who were ironing out some guitar tuning issues before they launched into a duet. Kris didn't know the song, but he could tell Adam did, just by watching him listen.
Kris leaned in to ask Adam what the song was, and got about half a syllable in before Adam said, "This is a Led Zeppelin song. It's called 'Tangerine.'"
"I like it," Kris said, and he wanted to rest his chin on Adam's shoulder to keep listening, it was just...that kind of song, but he didn't.
Matt's Saint Isidore's girls were playing next, and he made begging faces at Megan until she and Anoop slid down so he could sit with them.
"You sounded good up there," he said, pulling one of Megan's curls straight and letting it bounce back into shape. He gave Kris a thumbs-up across the table. "Nice harpsichord, too."
"Oh, you're kidding," Megan said, looking up at the not-a-stage, where the girls from Saint Isidore's were doing a piano cover of that Savage Garden song "I Knew I Loved You" that Kris felt like he'd heard every time he walked into somewhere with a radio last year. "You just wasted like, an hour flirting with girls who are now singing Savage Garden."
"You're such a music snob," Matt said, feigning hurt. They all sat quietly through the song's first chorus. "Okay, no, this song is pretty bad."
"How can you love someone before you meet them? That doesn't even make sense!"
"Maybe it's about internet dating," Matt said, trying not to laugh.
"It is not," Anoop said. "It's just bad. Admit it."
"I already did," Matt said around a mouthful of Megan and Anoop's bear claw.
"This is what happens when you ignore your friends for random girls in plaid skirts," Megan said.
"They're nice," Matt insisted.
"Did they tell you they knew they loved you before they met you?" Anoop asked, and Matt flicked a sliced almond from the top of the bear claw at him.
"It's that guy Adam has a crush on," Megan said, nodding at the front of the room, where the Savage Garden girls were wrapping up and a guy with dark hair was sitting down with his guitar. He had sort of sharp features, and a goatee that Kris thought looked stupid.
"I don't have a crush on him," Adam said, stirring his tea and looking a little embarrassed.
"Whatever you say," Megan said, smacking Matt's hand away from the bear claw. The guy Adam did or didn't have a crush on introduced himself as Nick and said he was playing an original song, which Kris didn't feel like listening to after the first few lines, it was about snowstorms and broken hearts or something, whatever, it was boring, so he talked to Anoop---the booth was small enough that they were almost sitting next to each other now---about 90s R&B and why neither of them wanted to join the school choir. Adam was watching Nick, but he didn't look smitten (like he had with Stacy the bunny ears girl) or loose-limbed and contented (like he had during the Led Zeppelin song), so Kris figured maybe Megan was wrong about the crush thing.
"My turn," Matt said, taking a sip of Megan's drink and getting up before she could yell at him about it. He sat down at the piano, tipped his hat back on his head a little, and adjusted the mic. "How about some Creedence?" he said, and started playing. It was definitely the most up-tempo song anyone had done so far, something about being in a traveling band, and Kris was half expecting the piano to burst into flames at some point, because Matt was pretty amazing.
"I wish there was more room to dance," Megan said, tapping her fingers on the tabletop.
"We need to learn to swing dance," Adam said. He and Kris were both sort of sway-bopping along to the song, and occasionally their shoulders would bump together. "This song makes me want to swing dance."
"We can do the hand jive," Megan offered, and she and Adam did a series of weird hand motions at each other, more or less in sync with each other and the music.
"Not the same," Adam said, standing up and smoothing the front of his shirt as Matt finished the song. Kris thought he was going to go get another drink or something, but he was making his way over to the mics before Kris could wish him luck. Kris felt a little nervous by proxy as Adam adjusted the mic stand. Matt played a few chords. "No," Adam said, and Kris was momentarily confused. "I thought we said the Boston song."
"Nope," Matt said, airily. "You should do this one."
"That song is like a suicide note! I'm not singing---"
"You can sing whatever you want, but I'm playing 'Evaporated.'"
"I hate you," Adam said, and then talked more directly into the mic. "If this makes you want to jump into oncoming traffic, blame Matt. You can also blame Ben Folds, he wrote the song," he said, his voice all unexpected and stage-banter smooth. It reminded Kris he hadn't actually known Adam for very long.
Then he started singing, and Kris's jaw actually dropped a little. He knew he'd heard Adam sing before, at the school concerts or in the musical, and he had a dim recollection of thinking in passing that Adam had a good voice, but right now he wanted to go back in time and kick himself for not paying closer attention, because he had no idea how he hadn't remembered Adam was this good, how it hadn't stood out in his mind more, how he hadn't noticed. His voice was strong and so clear it made Kris think of prisms, sharp triangular glass shapes throwing light everywhere. The song (Adam was right) was sad, in a good, satisfying-melancholy way, and he sang it with such openness that Kris's chest ached. He was completely intimidated, he couldn't believe he'd just been sitting next to this guy, eating off his plate, but at the same time he just wanted to wrap Adam up in his arms and fix whatever hurt was behind the way he sang this song. Kris had liked to sit under tables as a kid, it was one of those things his mom liked to drag out as a "wasn't Kris cute" story. He'd liked the small space and the different light and mostly the way it made him feel safe and secret and there was something about that he wanted. He wanted to duck under the table and sit and be wide-eyed and alone with Adam's voice, the sound and the song and the faint, beautiful pain of it, of Adam singing about being lost, about pouring his heart out.
He managed to stay sitting at table-level, though, and he tried to think of what he could say, how to tell Adam about any of this, because it seemed like something he should know, something he needed to know, but all Kris could come up with that wasn't completely crazy (Adam seemed okay with crazy, but your voice makes me think of prisms was maybe a little too crazy) was I didn't know you could sing like that, and that was possibly rude, and it wasn't even the important part.
"...You know you sound really good on that song, stop bitching," Matt was saying as he and Adam walked back to the booth.
"You're just trying to be the only person playing something danceable tonight," Adam said, sitting down next to Kris. "Don't think I don't know. I'm going to get Kris to play guitar for me next time, I bet he won't just spring some random depressing song on me and insist---"
"That wasn't depressing," Kris said, and suddenly everyone was looking at him. "It was---" it made me want to sit under the table, his mind supplied, and he almost laughed out loud. "Really good," he finished, hating himself.
"You do sound good on that song," Megan said, reaching across the table to grab Adam's hand.
"Nice high notes," Anoop added, and leaned over to poke Matt in the shoulder. "And I'm glad you didn't do the Jerry Lee Lewis thing."
"I don't know what you all have against Jerry Lee Lewis," Matt said. "He set pianos on fire."
"He married his thirteen year old cousin," Anoop said. "And 'Great Balls of Fire' is a total piano rock cliché. You're way better off doing something people don't halfway expect the second you sit down at a piano."
Matt said something back, but there was a girl with pigtails playing the ukulele and singing "Dream a Little Dream of Me," so Kris tuned them out and listened to that instead. It sounded pretty and almost lullabye-esque, and Adam seemed to think so, too, because he was slouched down a little so he could lean his head back on the seat. His eyes were closed and he was holding his mug of tea cradled against his chest, and Kris was struck again by how many things he seemed to be, how many things he was at the same time, that he'd just sung like his heart was broken and the world was ending and now he was here, next to Kris, almost napping, weirdly kitten-cute. Adam went to take a sip of tea, and frowned into his mug.
"I'm out of tea," he said.
"I think I want a ukulele," Kris replied. Adam looked up at him (and that was an angle Kris hadn't seen his face from before, he was usually the one looking up at Adam) and laughed.
"Let's trade. You get me more tea, and I'll go steal that girl's ukulele."
"Deal," Kris said, and he had this momentary flash of understanding that he probably could have told Adam his voice was like a prism, that Adam would have just laughed and been flattered, and just thinking about that made him smile. "...I really will go get you more tea if you want," he said, which wasn't quite the gesture he wanted to make, but it was a gesture.
"That's okay, I'm good," Adam said, putting down his empty mug and pulling the muffin plate (now mostly empty of muffin) toward him. "I'll get up in a minute."
"Hey, Alexis is here, I didn't see her before," Megan said, pointing up to the mics, and it was like things went on fast-forward from there. The actual open mic proceedings lost some momentum---after Alexis, who was small and blonde and adorable, there were a couple of women about Kris's mom's age doing something folk music-ish, a guy with glasses who sang a gospel song Kris half recognized, and a girl doing a shaky piano cover of a Britney Spears song, but once the performances slowed down, the energy and volume of conversations in the room went way up, and different people (Alexis, Kris's bake sale partner Becky, a guy who knew Adam from some community theater thing) kept dropping by. Megan introduced Kris to the ukulele girl, who let him play some chords while Megan tried to make Anoop hula dance with her; Matt went to flirt with bunny-ears Stacy and play the piano; Kris talked about the school's soccer team with Becky's boyfriend; and at some point, Adam actually did get up and get more tea; and then Stacy was flicking the mic back on with a quiet squeal of feedback to let everyone know they were shutting off the coffee machines for the night.
Matt was playing something soft and jazzy, very Last Song of the Night, and Megan yawned hugely and set off a yawning domino effect in the booth. Kris's right side was warm where he was almost pressed up against Adam (there'd been a lot of seat-rearranging and sliding further over so more people could sit down throughout the evening), and he felt completely at home.
"I guess we should get going," Anoop said, and Megan grabbed his wrist to look at his watch.
"Who's going to move so we can get out?" she said, looking between Adam and Becky, who were sitting on the outside edges of the booth.
Adam, in answer, sort of half-rolled himself out of his seat, stood up and stretched his arms over his head. Kris was tempted to just sprawl out into the space he'd left, but he slid out of the booth, followed by Anoop, Megan's bag of curlers, and Megan. Megan doled out goodnight hugs---to Adam, and then to Kris and Anoop even though they were all going home in the same car, so Kris figured what the hell, and gave Adam a goodnight hug of his own. Kris hugged people---he hugged his other guy friends---all the time, so he was used to hugging people who were taller than him, but this was different, somehow, he was really aware of Adam's shirt being soft, but not t-shirt soft, under his cheekbone where his face was tucked against Adam's shoulder, of the fact that Adam smelled kind of good, of how broad Adam's hands felt resting against his back. He smiled into Adam's shirt, let out a breath that was almost a sigh, and took a step back, keeping one hand on Adam's shoulder.
"This was fun," he said, and he barely even wanted to wince at how lame that sounded.
"Yeah," Adam said, and his tie was crooked, and Kris thought about fixing it for him, but then Megan was handing him his jacket, followed by his guitar case, and they were on their way.
After talking briefly to his parents when he got home (he assured his mom that yes, he'd had a good time and his dad that the song had gone fine, and Daniel stayed in his room and ignored Kris's arrival completely, which was fine), Kris put his guitar down, put his pajamas on, and curled up under his blankets. It was only about 10:30, but he could barely keep his eyes open. He thought about listening to a CD, but he had the weird feeling that listening to something recorded would somehow negate everything he'd heard tonight, make it less clear in his head. There'd been so much stuff going on, so many people talking, that while he'd still been at Pony Espresso the experience of playing his guitar for an actual audience had started to seem far away really quickly, but now that he was here by himself in a quiet room, it was all he could think about, the insane and wonderful way it had felt, like everything was bigger and brighter and humming with sound. His heart sped up a little just thinking about it. He thought about asking his parents for a ukulele for Christmas, or maybe an acoustic electric guitar. He thought about Adam, singing, his voice as big as the entire room, his eyes sad and darkly pretty. He fell asleep with his mental radio playing him a mashup of "Big Yellow Taxi," that stupid song about loving someone before you met them, and Adam's voice, singing I poured my heart out, over and over.
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Music Links!
First of all, Off the Beat's Iris. Off the Beat really are amazing, and please do enjoy the slideshow of high school kids from the Phillipines. (This was the only video on YouTube with this song.)
And the actual open mic selections:
The Magnetic Fields - Let's Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits
Nirvana - About a Girl (from MTV Unplugged---on the CD of this performance [although not in this vid], Kurt introduces this song with "This song is off our first record. Most people don't own it.")
Led Zeppelin - Tangerine
Savage Garden - I Knew I Loved You (for the sake of completeness, here...)
Creedence Clearwater Revival - Travelin' Band
Ben Folds Five - Evaporated
(and Adam's alternate song selection, Boston's Peace of Mind. I don't know if this would work as a piano cover, but I can hear his voice all over it.)
and, randomly, Zooey Deschanel doing Dream a Little Dream of Me.
next update >