ficlet: "Just Like Camping" [G] (VOY)
for k8_rab who wanted Voyager fic regarding the bathrooms. I've always loved the bathroom set up on Battlestar, so I've stolen that concept for this fic.
(Also, oddly enough, this is gen. I very rarely write gen, so hey! fun times!)
"The waste extraction systems of an Intrepid-class starship are meant to be maintained at a starbase every six months. We've been in space for three years, two months and eleven days, and to put it mildly, the system's had it. It's overwhelmed. Between sonic laundries, sonic showers, the hydraulic showers, the sinks, the toilets...all of it needs an overhaul."
B'Elanna sighs, keeping her eyes on the captain's. "The whole system runs on the same grid. It's a stupid idea. A major design flaw in the Intrepid-class. It's easy if you have a damn starbase to repair things at, but we don't. So we're fu--"
"Thank you, Lieutenant." Kathryn clutches her coffee a little closer and tries to wrap her mind around the idea of one hundred-forty-seven people going without a shower for more than a few days. Voyager's air purification systems will probably be the next thing to go.
There's no flaw in the report. Voyager was designed to dock, be overhauled by a starbase computer and sent back on her way. Since they are a hell of a long way from a starbase, they'll need another plan.
"I have to take the waste extraction systems off line. All of them, while I rebuild them from scratch to accept input from a decentralised computer system, that I'm going to have to design."
"Days? Weeks?" Kathryn's panic must have shown in her face.
B'Elanna's suddenly sympathetic. "We're going to have to share. I'd like to convert cargo bay three into our toilet, laundry and shower facility for the next two weeks. We'll have minimal laundry capacity. It'll have to be essentials only. On the third page of my report, you can see a diagram. It'll be male on one side, female on the other, we might need a schedule or a rotation to make sure everyone gets a turn."
Kathryn closes her eyes and drops the PADD on her desk. She can almost see Chakotay's shrug. He'll say something adaptable and smug.
"Chakotay's going to say it's like camping."
"I hate camping too."
Kathryn smiles gratefully at the young woman. "All right. I'll inform the crew."
ZZZZ
By lunch the next day, queueing up for the toilets is becoming routine. At first, she dreaded it. When she's had her third cup of coffee, all she wants to do is pee in peace. Except, there's something to this.
This morning she was next to Ensign Hickman, whom she never really has the time to speak with. This afternoon she was between Samantha Wildman and Beth Lang and they had a lively discussion about who was more attractive, Ensign Sciorra or Seven of Nine. If she didn't know better, she would have guessed that Beth had a crush on Seven.
These were the conversations she didn't have on the bridge and though she hated having to drag herself all the way down to deck six to use the toilet in the morning, there was something she liked about camping on her own ship. Even if Tom had seen her robe and she is never going to live down the fact that it is pink.
Neelix has made it a point to tell her she looks ravishing in pink. B'Elanna offered to dye all of Tom's pyjamas pink in the laundry and confided that he had ancient automobiles on them. Harry's been cheerful, and Kathryn's starting to wonder if anything but mortal peril phases him. Tuvok has been stoic, and Seven is efficient.
She can shower in less than four minutes, and put her hair up in another three. With her jumpsuit so simple to put on, Seven is in the shower side and out in ten minutes or less, usually at oh-two five hundred when it is less crowded.
Kathryn is less than efficient. She hates mornings, but usually finishes on the bridge so late that she has to dredge up the energy to head down there and stand under the water-only shower.
Sonic is so much faster. With water she had to wash her hair, and it is thick, takes time to dry, and makes her pillows wet if she is lazy. Having to shower with water takes so much more work and it has none of the relaxing elements of the bath.
With her towel over her shoulder, she creeps in one night with her coffee cup in her other hand. The women's side of the showers is empty. The sinks in the middle have a few crew members sleepily washing their faces and brushing their teeth. It usually is quiet after oh-two hundred, and she sets down her robe, slips out of her nightgown.
The shower starts off hot and that part at least is satisfying. Hot water runs over her head, down her back and stomach and she looses herself in the steam. It's warm and comfortable and she's just so tired. If it had been possible to stretch her hair one more day, she would have done it, but it was oily that morning, and trying to make one more day just wouldn't be captain-like.
Sometimes she hates being the captain.
She lathers and rinses her hair. The three shower stalls have three different shampoos and this one smells like lilac. She'd never choose lilac from the replicator, but now that this scent is familiar, she smells it everywhere.
B'Elanna had cinnamon yesterday, and Seven's olfactory senses are good enough that she always has jasmine, which is her favourite.
Who had lilac? Was it Harry? Has someone been putting the same shampoos on each side? Do the men have jasmine?
Alone in the shower, she giggles at the thought.
It was Chakotay who smelt of lilac. It's Tom who likes to sing Betazoid jazz with Ensign Jetal. Which means they have to start their showers at the same time. Tuvok shaves with Vulcan efficiency, and he's been tutoring Crewman Gerron in the use of a Vulcan straight razor. Harry's always organised enough to have an extra towel, because someone always forgets one. B'Elanna takes longer to brush her teeth than anyone else Kathryn knows. Neelix thinks his fur dries better if he rubs the towel the wrong way.
She shakes the last of the water from her hair and wraps herself in the towel as she steps out. No one's around and she doesn't even realise she's singing to herself as she dries her hair until someone joins in.
How they know "All Through the Night" is beyond her, but the voice, male and deep, is strong and true. She stays for awhile by the sink, brushing her teeth as the singer finishes the third verse without her. She sings the fourth with him, and wonders if she should stay, if she wants to know who it is.
The steam smells faintly of lilac, and she pulls her robe, bright pink as it is, tight around her damp skin.
Maybe she doesn't really hate camping. At least, not this part of it.
(Also, oddly enough, this is gen. I very rarely write gen, so hey! fun times!)
"The waste extraction systems of an Intrepid-class starship are meant to be maintained at a starbase every six months. We've been in space for three years, two months and eleven days, and to put it mildly, the system's had it. It's overwhelmed. Between sonic laundries, sonic showers, the hydraulic showers, the sinks, the toilets...all of it needs an overhaul."
B'Elanna sighs, keeping her eyes on the captain's. "The whole system runs on the same grid. It's a stupid idea. A major design flaw in the Intrepid-class. It's easy if you have a damn starbase to repair things at, but we don't. So we're fu--"
"Thank you, Lieutenant." Kathryn clutches her coffee a little closer and tries to wrap her mind around the idea of one hundred-forty-seven people going without a shower for more than a few days. Voyager's air purification systems will probably be the next thing to go.
There's no flaw in the report. Voyager was designed to dock, be overhauled by a starbase computer and sent back on her way. Since they are a hell of a long way from a starbase, they'll need another plan.
"I have to take the waste extraction systems off line. All of them, while I rebuild them from scratch to accept input from a decentralised computer system, that I'm going to have to design."
"Days? Weeks?" Kathryn's panic must have shown in her face.
B'Elanna's suddenly sympathetic. "We're going to have to share. I'd like to convert cargo bay three into our toilet, laundry and shower facility for the next two weeks. We'll have minimal laundry capacity. It'll have to be essentials only. On the third page of my report, you can see a diagram. It'll be male on one side, female on the other, we might need a schedule or a rotation to make sure everyone gets a turn."
Kathryn closes her eyes and drops the PADD on her desk. She can almost see Chakotay's shrug. He'll say something adaptable and smug.
"Chakotay's going to say it's like camping."
"I hate camping too."
Kathryn smiles gratefully at the young woman. "All right. I'll inform the crew."
ZZZZ
By lunch the next day, queueing up for the toilets is becoming routine. At first, she dreaded it. When she's had her third cup of coffee, all she wants to do is pee in peace. Except, there's something to this.
This morning she was next to Ensign Hickman, whom she never really has the time to speak with. This afternoon she was between Samantha Wildman and Beth Lang and they had a lively discussion about who was more attractive, Ensign Sciorra or Seven of Nine. If she didn't know better, she would have guessed that Beth had a crush on Seven.
These were the conversations she didn't have on the bridge and though she hated having to drag herself all the way down to deck six to use the toilet in the morning, there was something she liked about camping on her own ship. Even if Tom had seen her robe and she is never going to live down the fact that it is pink.
Neelix has made it a point to tell her she looks ravishing in pink. B'Elanna offered to dye all of Tom's pyjamas pink in the laundry and confided that he had ancient automobiles on them. Harry's been cheerful, and Kathryn's starting to wonder if anything but mortal peril phases him. Tuvok has been stoic, and Seven is efficient.
She can shower in less than four minutes, and put her hair up in another three. With her jumpsuit so simple to put on, Seven is in the shower side and out in ten minutes or less, usually at oh-two five hundred when it is less crowded.
Kathryn is less than efficient. She hates mornings, but usually finishes on the bridge so late that she has to dredge up the energy to head down there and stand under the water-only shower.
Sonic is so much faster. With water she had to wash her hair, and it is thick, takes time to dry, and makes her pillows wet if she is lazy. Having to shower with water takes so much more work and it has none of the relaxing elements of the bath.
With her towel over her shoulder, she creeps in one night with her coffee cup in her other hand. The women's side of the showers is empty. The sinks in the middle have a few crew members sleepily washing their faces and brushing their teeth. It usually is quiet after oh-two hundred, and she sets down her robe, slips out of her nightgown.
The shower starts off hot and that part at least is satisfying. Hot water runs over her head, down her back and stomach and she looses herself in the steam. It's warm and comfortable and she's just so tired. If it had been possible to stretch her hair one more day, she would have done it, but it was oily that morning, and trying to make one more day just wouldn't be captain-like.
Sometimes she hates being the captain.
She lathers and rinses her hair. The three shower stalls have three different shampoos and this one smells like lilac. She'd never choose lilac from the replicator, but now that this scent is familiar, she smells it everywhere.
B'Elanna had cinnamon yesterday, and Seven's olfactory senses are good enough that she always has jasmine, which is her favourite.
Who had lilac? Was it Harry? Has someone been putting the same shampoos on each side? Do the men have jasmine?
Alone in the shower, she giggles at the thought.
It was Chakotay who smelt of lilac. It's Tom who likes to sing Betazoid jazz with Ensign Jetal. Which means they have to start their showers at the same time. Tuvok shaves with Vulcan efficiency, and he's been tutoring Crewman Gerron in the use of a Vulcan straight razor. Harry's always organised enough to have an extra towel, because someone always forgets one. B'Elanna takes longer to brush her teeth than anyone else Kathryn knows. Neelix thinks his fur dries better if he rubs the towel the wrong way.
She shakes the last of the water from her hair and wraps herself in the towel as she steps out. No one's around and she doesn't even realise she's singing to herself as she dries her hair until someone joins in.
How they know "All Through the Night" is beyond her, but the voice, male and deep, is strong and true. She stays for awhile by the sink, brushing her teeth as the singer finishes the third verse without her. She sings the fourth with him, and wonders if she should stay, if she wants to know who it is.
The steam smells faintly of lilac, and she pulls her robe, bright pink as it is, tight around her damp skin.
Maybe she doesn't really hate camping. At least, not this part of it.