Tsubasa Reservoir Fic: Lost In Translation: Lesson III (High Society)
Lesson III: High Society (No. 3 of ? )
Pairing: KuroFai
Disclaimer: These two were hatched from the collective brain of CLAMP. Not mine.
Spoilers: I don't think so, but it is set during the Shurano arc. I intend to write a few short stories based on the adventures of Kurogane and Fai in Yasha territory, with a focus on the language barrier because I love teaching, languages, and cross-cultural confusion. Yummy.
Rating: PG-16, for all the stories as a whole (language, some violence... possible "adult situations." Oh ho ho.
Word Count: 1730 or so.
Kurogane cast a suspicious eye on Fai as they trudged through a meadow that ran alongside the stream. The wizard hadn't bothered to use his deceitfully earned vocabulary word since the night he had bandaged Kurogane's foot, so either Fai had 1.) realized that he had seriously irritated his teacher or 2.) he was simply waiting for a highly inappropriate time to ambush Kurogane with it. Kurogane highly suspected the latter since Fai possessed a superhuman ability to know exactly the most improper thing to say in a tense situation. This ability added to his complete lack of inhibition had probably made him a really charming dinner guest in Celes, especially if his host had made the mistake of offering him alcohol.
The ninja frowned sourly and wondered if it were possible that the “Ashura” Fai was running from was actually a really pissed-off hostess. It would certainly explain Fai's sheer terror at the thought of being captured: even Kurogane knew better than to cross a high-society lady.
Thinking of high society reminded Kurogane that Tomoyo had forced him to learn proper manners, protocol, and speech for receiving and hosting high-status visitors in her court. Not that Kurogane had ever met anyone worthy enough to bother trotting out his shiny special manners, but he could and that was what counted. His errant pupil, on the other hand, was not prepared to handle the intricacies of court culture with all its fine levels of rank and status-loaded gestures and tones. Kurogane made the generous assumption that the Space Time Bitch would keep her end of the deal, which meant they would land in his Japan sooner or later. As Fai's Japanese teacher, Kurogane would of course be responsible to insure that Fai at least knew the proper way to behave. Otherwise, the damn wizard would probably manage to mortally offend at least five powerful people before they even reached Tomoyo's court.
The mental image was enough to make even a battle-hardened ninja shudder.
“Is Kuro-puu cold?” Fai poked him in the arm, his expression mirthful.
“No!” barked Kurogane, jerking his arm back. “And you should be paying attention to our surroundings, not looking at me.” Earlier he'd pointed out a trail of hoof prints to Fai: although prints were grassy and probably several weeks old, it meant they were drawing quite close to civilization. The stream was thick enough now that trees grew alongside its banks, and the soil fertile enough for agriculture. It was only a matter of time before they ran across people, and Kurogane doubted that they would receive a warm reception due to their suspicious appearance. Fai's haori had one impractically long sleeve left and it was full of holes from getting snagged in brambles; the other had been torn off for the bandage. Its color was no longer obnoxiously white, having long resigned itself to a sad shade of gray, although Fai still insisted on washing it regularly. Naturally, Kurogane had chosen a more practical black set of clothes from their Sharano host, but thanks to the constant battles with his arch-enemies - the bunnies from hell - he looked like he'd tangled with an angry dragon and lost. Both of them also had a liberal smattering of scratches and insect bite marks, and the acrid smell of campfire clung stubbornly to their skin and clothes.
Still... Kurogane's hand slid to Souhi, which rested reassuringly on his left hip and he grinned in anticipation. It wouldn't be a complete loss if they didn't receive a warm reception.
“Kuro-pippi's thinking of something bad, isn't he? He looks happy.”
The ninja glared at the wizard, who cheerfully smiled at him as if earning a glare were the highlight of his day. “Yeah, I'm thinking about how I'm going to enjoy pounding some manners into you. First off, you have to learn the proper way to address people - which excludes your damn nicknames. I'm going to teach you Japanese honorifics, too.”
Fai raised his eyebrows. “Ho-no-riffi-hicks?”
Kurogane let out a hiss of air. This was not going to be easy.
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“Okay, I'm Princess Tomoyo now. How do you greet me?”
Fai bowed gracefully and deeply to “Princess Tomoyo,” his back inclined at the proper forty-five degree angle as per Kurogane's instructions. “I am pleased to meet you, Your Highness. Please regard me favorably.”
Kurogane bowed slightly. “We welcome you to our humble court as our honored guest.” Kurogane then tossed in a few other stock phrases Tomoyo usually used as he eyed Fai warily and resisted the urge to hide his hands behind his back, out of Fai's grasp. The first time Kurogane had practiced introductions with Fai, he'd learned far more than he wanted to about the perverted customs of Fai's country. Apparently in Celes, it was entirely appropriate for men to kiss the hands of women they'd just been introduced to, so Fai had decided it was fine for him to kiss Kurogane/Princess Tomoyo. Kurogane/Princess Tomoyo was displeased and had let loose a few choice words that were rather uncourtly.
Still, Fai had gotten off rather easily: in Japan, if anyone had ever dared to try to kiss the real Princess Tomoyo's hand, Kurogane would have chopped the offender's hand off for display on the castle gates.
The ninja straightened up. “It's okay for you to stand up after I do.” He pushed against Fai's shoulder lightly so that Fai would understand. Then Kurogane frowned as he tried to recall some standard Royal Court small talk to teach the wizard. Although he'd often stood close to Tomoyo while she entertained or negotiated with visitors, the ninja frequently tuned out the idle chatter in order to preserve his sanity. The antics of Daimyo Hachisuka's favorite dog or the accomplishments of Ambassador Pandari Bai's charming children were not nearly as amusing to him as glowering at their retinues and imagining what plots they might be hatching against Tomoyo.
“Your eyes are sunset,” Fai said, apparently deciding the pause was his cue to add a remark.
“Tomoyo's eyes aren't red, idiot,” Kurogane replied automatically before wondering if this were an example of Fai's language substitution. The wizard wasn't afraid to experiment or otherwise abuse the Japanese language, and sometimes he would substitute words to try to convey his meaning. The general consensus was that sunsets were “pretty;” perhaps Fai was trying to flatter “Princess Tomoyo” by complimenting her eyes.
Fai merely stared at Kurogane, an undecipherable expression on his face, and Kurogane suddenly got the impression that Fai wasn't talking about Tomoyo. Kurogane's real eyes were red, not black, so he supposed it wasn't a stretch to compare them to a sunset. Maybe Fai just wanted to let him know that he hadn't forgotten that they didn't really belong in this world where their eyes weren't even the right color, and they were still on a mission to track down Sakura's feathers, return home, or keep running away from home. “You're supposed to let Princess Tomoyo lead the conversation,” Kurogane muttered. “And no, I haven't forgotten that we don't belong here.” He gestured at his eyes and then Fai's to get his point across.
The wizard shook his head and stepped closer. “No, I mean...”
Kurogane felt his pulse suddenly quicken. On those rare occasions Fai's tone grew serious, he always said something important as opposed to his usual meaningless drivel. Secretly, Kurogane welcomed those moments as opportunities to add the scant intelligence he had on the wizard; it was hardly wise to know so little about one's ally. But now there was tension in the ninja's stomach, and a large part of him actually wished Fai would revert to his idiotic facade. That Fai was easier to brush off or ignore.
“...Kuro-sei, what's that?”
Kurogane swirled around and looked in the direction Fai was pointing. Small clouds of dust were floating near the edge of the horizon. If he squinted, he could perceive the shapes of a small party of men, probably six or seven judging from the amount of dust being kicked up. They had to be riding some sort of animals to be moving so fast. Kurogane swore quietly. There was nowhere for Fai and him to hide; the few trees near the stream were too scraggly to conceal them. The ninja knew he had far better eyesight than most, but it was only a matter of time before the party spotted them on the flat plain.
Kurogane was not worried about being able to deal with a small, armed party: he liked long swords partially because they came in handy for knocking people off horses, but the coordinated movements of the party as it rode across the plain suggested military. If that were the case, then it was almost certainly a scouting party. A scouting party meant an army not far behind, and Kurogane had never destroyed an entire army by himself even on his best day. Maybe with a little help it was feasible...
Kurogane glanced at Fai out of the corner of his eye, wondering if Fai would deign to break out some magical ass-kicking skills. Probably not, the man was damn stubborn. Still, it would be shameful for Fai to go down without some sort of struggle if it came to that. Fai was competent with a staff, but there weren't any sticks about. Perhaps he should hand the ex-wizard a handful of rocks so at least Fai could cause a disturbance in a fight: instead of Fai's “last stand,” it would be Fai's “last annoyance.” A day to be remembered in infamy, no doubt.
“Do you know what that is?” Kurogane said gruffly, jerking a thumb towards the clouds of dust.
Fai grinned wickedly and waved as if welcoming the party. “Yes, practice! Hello, please regard us favorably!”
Kurogane suppressed a sudden grin at Fai's twisted sense of humor. Stupid wizard. “How about 'hell no.' You shut up and let me do the talking.” Fai nodded, and they fell into silence as they waited for the party to reach them.
[Author's Notes: does anyone know the proper name for the clothing that Fai and Kurogane receive in Shara/Sharano Country? I did a bit of digging but didn't find information.
If Fai's vocabulary seems a little advanced... well, in this story, he and Kurogane have been wandering together for about two months. There's not much to do so Fai gets a lot of language lessons compared to the average language student. Plus Fai's pretty clever.
I had intended for this section to actually cover the meeting-of-Yasha's-army, but I ended up spending more time of Fai & Kurogane. I'm not sure where that little bit about Fai trying to tell Kuro-muu Something Important came from... does it work okay?
Darn, hadn't realized it's almost been a month since the last installment of this. o.O These are actually not so easy to write. Humor's tricky. I think I might try to finish the last chapter of Child of Celes before I write another installment. A little blood & gore to balance out the snark... oh wait, there's about to be some fighting in this too. Ehehehe.
Thanks for reading! Comments, criticism, praise, etc. are all welcome. ^^ ]