GQMFing STAR TREK MERINGUES!
Okay, I've been putting off posting this forever now, I think because I'm intimidated by all the awesome coming out of this comm. But this must be shared!
You see, I can't eat wheat right now, and I have a really big sweet tooth, so I decided to make meringues. They're actually really easy to make and also DELICIOUS. And while I was spooning them in boring, ordinary blobs onto the cookie sheets, I thought, "What if...?"
And that was how I wound up making a piping bag out of a ziploc bag and making a GQMFing STARFLEET INSIGNIA meringue. And also, because how could I not, a LENSFLARE. Then, the next day, I made lemon curd using the yolks from the eggs so I could have lemon meringues (without the "pie" part) and also so I could make it look like the insignia was on Kirk's chest. :D
Here's what it looked like when I had finished piping it, before I baked it:
Complete with super-awesome command symbol in GQMFing 3D!!
After baking:
On science blue (WITH LENSFLARE):
Looking classy on AN ACTUAL RED SHIRT:
PLUS LENSFLARE (sorry the wide photo where you can see it's a shirt didn't turn out well):
ON DELICIOUS LEMONY GOODNESS/CAPTAIN KIRK (with towel underneath to try to get the right shade of yellow):
Ta-da! A Star Trek Lemon Meringue, Complete with JJ-Approved Delicious Lensflare!
And here is me trying to figure out how to eat it, and then doing so, and enjoying it very much! (I don't think my teeth will ever be the same. 99.9% sugar!)
ETA: People asked for the recipe, so I typed it out for you. (Normal and slightly-more-detailed version is below if you have trouble translating.) My lemon curd recipe I got from this fine site.
wings_on_water's EASY (LIKE YOU WOULD BE WITH CHRIS FINE) MERINGUES
3 EGG WHITES (ROOM TEMPERATURE)
1/2 TEASPOON CREAM OF TARTAR
1 CUP SUGAR
PINCH OF SALT
SOME GQMFing VANILLA
1. SEPARATE THE EGG WHITES FROM THE YOLKS. IF YOU CAN'T DO THAT, BITCH, GOOGLE IT, GODDAMN. PUT THE FUCKING EGG WHITES IN A BIGASS BOWL.
2. BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE GODDAMN EGG WHITES UNTIL THEY FORM SOFT PEAKS, THEN CONTINUE TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM WHILE YOU ADD THE MOTHERFUCKING CREAM OF TARTAR AND SALT (SLOWLY, GODDAMN). THEN KEEP BEATING THOSE EGG WHITES (YOU ARE KICKING THEIR FOAMY WHITE ASSES) UNTIL THEY ARE VERY STIFF.
THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID STIFF, STIFF STIFF STIFF, NOW STOP THINKING OF CAPTAIN FINE'S BULGE AND GET BACK TO THE FUCKING RECIPE.
3. MIX IN THE VANILLA GRADUALLY (USE HOWEVER FUCKING MUCH VANILLA YOU WANT, JUST VANILLA IT UP, BITCHES. MERINGUES ARE GQ LIKE THAT).
4. BEAT IN THE SUGAR (THAT'S RIGHT, YOU'RE STILL BEATING) A LITTLE AT A TIME. NOT TOO MUCH AT ONCE, SHIT SON, YOU WANT THESE MERINGUES ALL FLAT ON YOUR FUCKING COOKIE SHEETS? NO YOU FUCKING DO NOT. THEN KEEP BEATING UNTIL THAT MIXTURE SHINES LIKE A FUCKING LENSFLARE.
5. SPOON THE MERINGUE SHIT ONTO A FUCKING HIGH-TECH NON-STICK BAKING SHEET (IF YOUR BAKING SHEETS STICK, THEN GREASE THEM. LIGHTLY, GODDAMN). MAKE THOSE KICKASS MERINGUE BLOBS ONE AND A HALF INCHES WIDE AND LEAVE SOME SPACE, GQ MOTHERFUCKERS LIKE THEM NEED ROOM.
6. BAKE THAT SHIT AT 275 F FOR 20-25 MINUTES, TILL THE EDGES ARE OFF-WHITE AND THE AWESOME IS BLOWING YOUR MIND. THESE MERINGUES SHOULD BE CRISPY ON THE OUTSIDE AND CHEWY ON THE INSIDE, JUST LIKE SPOCK'S TORTURED HALF-HUMAN SOUL OR SOME SHIT.
VARIATION: IF YOU WANT SPOCK EGGNOG-FLAVORED MERINGUES, BEAT IN SOME GQ CINNAMON AND NUTMEG AFTER YOU BEAT IN THE SUGAR. HOW MUCH? HOW SHOULD I KNOW, FUCKING TASTE IT YOURSELF. SALMONELLA IS FOR PUSSIES.
ENJOY, BBS!
Basic Meringues
3 egg whites (room temperature)
1/2 teaspoon cream of tartar
1 cup sugar
pinch of salt
some vanilla
1. Separate out the egg whites and put them in a large bowl (if you don't know how to separate eggs, look it up. It's not that bad). Keep the yolks for omelettes or lemon curd or something.
2. Beat the whites until soft peaks form*, then slowly beat in the cream of tartar and salt. Continue beating until very stiff.
3. Mix in the vanilla gradually (I have no idea how much I used - it depends on how much you like vanilla. One recipe I've seen says 1/2 teaspoon, but I think I did more than that. It gives the meringues their delicious flavour.)
4. Beat in the sugar, a little bit at a time. Once it's all in, keep beating until mixture is stiff and shiny.
5. Spoon into blobs on ungreased nonstick baking sheets (if they're older/not-nonstick, grease them lightly). The meringues will expand, so the blobs should be about an inch and a half across, with some space between.
6. Bake at 275 F for 20-25 minutes, until the edges are just starting to be off-white. Once they're cooled, they should be crispy on the outside and chewy on the inside. Om nom nom!
Variation: For eggnog-flavoured meringues, beat in cinnamon and nutmeg to taste after you beat in the sugar.
*Note: my friend who taught me the recipe beats until soft peaks form before putting in the cream of tartar because she says it makes more that way. Most recipes say just to beat the whites until foamy (not as much). I don't know if this gives a different end product.
I hope you enjoyed my adventure into GQMF baking! I had seen all the ST waffles and pancakes and cakes and cupcakes on this comm and was kind of envious... :P
PS: I heart you guys!! ♥♥♥
You see, I can't eat wheat right now, and I have a really big sweet tooth, so I decided to make meringues. They're actually really easy to make and also DELICIOUS. And while I was spooning them in boring, ordinary blobs onto the cookie sheets, I thought, "What if...?"
And that was how I wound up making a piping bag out of a ziploc bag and making a GQMFing STARFLEET INSIGNIA meringue. And also, because how could I not, a LENSFLARE. Then, the next day, I made lemon curd using the yolks from the eggs so I could have lemon meringues (without the "pie" part) and also so I could make it look like the insignia was on Kirk's chest. :D
Here's what it looked like when I had finished piping it, before I baked it:
Complete with super-awesome command symbol in GQMFing 3D!!
After baking:
On science blue (WITH LENSFLARE):
Looking classy on AN ACTUAL RED SHIRT:
PLUS LENSFLARE (sorry the wide photo where you can see it's a shirt didn't turn out well):
ON DELICIOUS LEMONY GOODNESS/CAPTAIN KIRK (with towel underneath to try to get the right shade of yellow):
Ta-da! A Star Trek Lemon Meringue, Complete with JJ-Approved Delicious Lensflare!
And here is me trying to figure out how to eat it, and then doing so, and enjoying it very much! (I don't think my teeth will ever be the same. 99.9% sugar!)
ETA: People asked for the recipe, so I typed it out for you. (Normal and slightly-more-detailed version is below if you have trouble translating.) My lemon curd recipe I got from this fine site.
wings_on_water's EASY (LIKE YOU WOULD BE WITH CHRIS FINE) MERINGUES
3 EGG WHITES (ROOM TEMPERATURE)
1/2 TEASPOON CREAM OF TARTAR
1 CUP SUGAR
PINCH OF SALT
SOME GQMFing VANILLA
1. SEPARATE THE EGG WHITES FROM THE YOLKS. IF YOU CAN'T DO THAT, BITCH, GOOGLE IT, GODDAMN. PUT THE FUCKING EGG WHITES IN A BIGASS BOWL.
2. BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE GODDAMN EGG WHITES UNTIL THEY FORM SOFT PEAKS, THEN CONTINUE TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM WHILE YOU ADD THE MOTHERFUCKING CREAM OF TARTAR AND SALT (SLOWLY, GODDAMN). THEN KEEP BEATING THOSE EGG WHITES (YOU ARE KICKING THEIR FOAMY WHITE ASSES) UNTIL THEY ARE VERY STIFF.
THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID STIFF, STIFF STIFF STIFF, NOW STOP THINKING OF CAPTAIN FINE'S BULGE AND GET BACK TO THE FUCKING RECIPE.
3. MIX IN THE VANILLA GRADUALLY (USE HOWEVER FUCKING MUCH VANILLA YOU WANT, JUST VANILLA IT UP, BITCHES. MERINGUES ARE GQ LIKE THAT).
4. BEAT IN THE SUGAR (THAT'S RIGHT, YOU'RE STILL BEATING) A LITTLE AT A TIME. NOT TOO MUCH AT ONCE, SHIT SON, YOU WANT THESE MERINGUES ALL FLAT ON YOUR FUCKING COOKIE SHEETS? NO YOU FUCKING DO NOT. THEN KEEP BEATING UNTIL THAT MIXTURE SHINES LIKE A FUCKING LENSFLARE.
5. SPOON THE MERINGUE SHIT ONTO A FUCKING HIGH-TECH NON-STICK BAKING SHEET (IF YOUR BAKING SHEETS STICK, THEN GREASE THEM. LIGHTLY, GODDAMN). MAKE THOSE KICKASS MERINGUE BLOBS ONE AND A HALF INCHES WIDE AND LEAVE SOME SPACE, GQ MOTHERFUCKERS LIKE THEM NEED ROOM.
6. BAKE THAT SHIT AT 275 F FOR 20-25 MINUTES, TILL THE EDGES ARE OFF-WHITE AND THE AWESOME IS BLOWING YOUR MIND. THESE MERINGUES SHOULD BE CRISPY ON THE OUTSIDE AND CHEWY ON THE INSIDE, JUST LIKE SPOCK'S TORTURED HALF-HUMAN SOUL OR SOME SHIT.
VARIATION: IF YOU WANT SPOCK EGGNOG-FLAVORED MERINGUES, BEAT IN SOME GQ CINNAMON AND NUTMEG AFTER YOU BEAT IN THE SUGAR. HOW MUCH? HOW SHOULD I KNOW, FUCKING TASTE IT YOURSELF. SALMONELLA IS FOR PUSSIES.
ENJOY, BBS!
Basic Meringues
3 egg whites (room temperature)
1/2 teaspoon cream of tartar
1 cup sugar
pinch of salt
some vanilla
1. Separate out the egg whites and put them in a large bowl (if you don't know how to separate eggs, look it up. It's not that bad). Keep the yolks for omelettes or lemon curd or something.
2. Beat the whites until soft peaks form*, then slowly beat in the cream of tartar and salt. Continue beating until very stiff.
3. Mix in the vanilla gradually (I have no idea how much I used - it depends on how much you like vanilla. One recipe I've seen says 1/2 teaspoon, but I think I did more than that. It gives the meringues their delicious flavour.)
4. Beat in the sugar, a little bit at a time. Once it's all in, keep beating until mixture is stiff and shiny.
5. Spoon into blobs on ungreased nonstick baking sheets (if they're older/not-nonstick, grease them lightly). The meringues will expand, so the blobs should be about an inch and a half across, with some space between.
6. Bake at 275 F for 20-25 minutes, until the edges are just starting to be off-white. Once they're cooled, they should be crispy on the outside and chewy on the inside. Om nom nom!
Variation: For eggnog-flavoured meringues, beat in cinnamon and nutmeg to taste after you beat in the sugar.
*Note: my friend who taught me the recipe beats until soft peaks form before putting in the cream of tartar because she says it makes more that way. Most recipes say just to beat the whites until foamy (not as much). I don't know if this gives a different end product.
I hope you enjoyed my adventure into GQMF baking! I had seen all the ST waffles and pancakes and cakes and cupcakes on this comm and was kind of envious... :P
PS: I heart you guys!! ♥♥♥