San Antonio Current writer goes around the bend; publishes weird fanfic about Johnny.

[tonights]

We've been WTFing about this over on Twitter since I discovered it about a quarter hour ago. I subsequently was encouraged to bring it over here so other people could share in the bafflement.

There was no picture with this article, so I am helpfully providing you with the Soviet pear of confusion and bewilderment:

Comments

[kohikki]

The possibilities are endless.
....
Ascots? Yes!

Skinny jeans? No!

Really, just no skinny jeans.

BUT JOHNNY LOVES SKINNY JEANS.
HE LIKES HIS JEANS SO SKINNY THEY ARE PRACTICALLY TIGHTS.
I KNOW BECAUSE I HATE THEM.
I'M ALWAYS DOWN FOR A GOOD ASCOT THO.

As for the rest of the article, lolwhut is in order.

[steamxengenius]

All this time I thought the pear was a lima bean. My world is shattered beyond repair.

[crossthefingers]

OK, your Lima bean comment is a million times funnier than anything that columnist wrote. LOL WUT Lima bean, LMAO.

[kublaikatie]

YOU ARE NOT ALONE GURL

[stealenoughtime]

I thought it was a lima bean too.

This is so weird now that it's a pear!!!

[ispeakchavese]

[fenlings]

WTAF.

Her parenthetical comments are so annoying.

And I don't even know what to do with the "service entrance" one.

Is this an actualfax newspaper columnist?

[tonights]

I had blanked the "service entrance" comment out of my mind because it's just too fucking stupid to be real.

She's credited as an "editor and humorist."

[fenlings]

Hm, I also see "grad student." That makes more sense.

[jaimeuesuzu]