i'm so conflicted on this. it had to end in pain for one party or another. but in the end i'm going to come down on the side of the adoptive family- the child has been with them since birth, and rupturing that family is one of the worst things that could happen. the adoption process is a rupture in itself and it takes time for a child to assimilate to/feel secure in a new family. An adoptive family losing their child (or, in the child's view, rejecting her or 'sending her back') is probably the single greatest cause of anxiety in adoptees.
yes, the agency and the parents should have followed ICWA guidelines to ensure that everything was above-board. (This didn't happen in my own adoption- i'm 1/4 Potowotami, but thankfully my own bio mother didn't get as far as the court system when she tried to get me back. I don't think she knew about the ICWA.) And i do think the adoptive family have a responsibility to the child in terms of raising her to know and understand her heritage.
From what i've read, the biological mother sought prospective parents for the child. There should have been a lawyer involved at some point, and the State would have been involved. It's their responsibility to ensure that all parties are aware of the ICWA and legal protocols. I don't think, from what i've read, that the ~adoptive~ parents deliberately bypassed protocol
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I don't believe for a second that these people didn't know; in fact, I have read that they DID very well know, but I can't find the source for that at the moment. Either way, ignorance is not an excuse to break the law and never has been. Additionally, the parents have started a "Save Veronica" campaign, meaning that they think they have to SAVE THIS CHILD from being raised by her Cherokee relatives or another American Indian adoptive family - the people who SHOULD have been first in line to adopt, had the law actually been followed. They are also taking lots of help from the Christian Alliance for Indian Child Welfare, which is a group that is SKEEVY AS FUCK and basically is a rehash of the same old white Christian child-stealing bullshit that's been going on in this country for well over a century. These are people who believe that the best place for a child is ANYWHERE BUT A RESERVATION and that children should be removed at all costs
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I do not at all trust the family who ignored the law and fought for custody of a kid who had a capable parent who wanted custody for so long to then turn around and involve that parent in her life.
"This is your biological father. He and your biological mother didn't feel like they could take care of a child, so they decided to find a family who could, and who wanted you very much.
So they should lie to her? Because that clearly is NOT what happened. What happened was her father wanted to raise her, was capable of doing so (I mean, he has been for the last couple years), but these people stole her from him anyways- because they put their own wants above her interests and the law. And if they do go with this lie, they are probably not going to be inclined to want him around her given the likelihood that she will find out that is a fucking lie if he is involved in her life.
The problem with the argument that right or wrong how they got custody, whoever has raised her long enough should just get custody is that it encourages people to ignore the laws, violate laws, and fight it out even if they are wrong, because if they can just drag it out long enough, suddenly they win just because they kept a kid they had no right to long enough. It is terrible for a kid in that situation- which is one of many reasons those who fight for custody of a kid they have no real legal right to should be fucking ashamed of themselves.
yes, the agency and the parents should have followed ICWA guidelines to ensure that everything was above-board. (This didn't happen in my own adoption- i'm 1/4 Potowotami, but thankfully my own bio mother didn't get as far as the court system when she tried to get me back. I don't think she knew about the ICWA.) And i do think the adoptive family have a responsibility to the child in terms of raising her to know and understand her heritage.
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"This is your biological father. He and your biological mother didn't feel like they could take care of a child, so they decided to find a family who could, and who wanted you very much.
So they should lie to her? Because that clearly is NOT what happened. What happened was her father wanted to raise her, was capable of doing so (I mean, he has been for the last couple years), but these people stole her from him anyways- because they put their own wants above her interests and the law.
And if they do go with this lie, they are probably not going to be inclined to want him around her given the likelihood that she will find out that is a fucking lie if he is involved in her life.
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That puts an entirely different perspective on this.
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It is terrible for a kid in that situation- which is one of many reasons those who fight for custody of a kid they have no real legal right to should be fucking ashamed of themselves.
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Seriously., how are people not seeing this?
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