TW DV, RAPE: Domestic violence, rape an issue for gays: Study

[yeats]

Gay people in the United States are just as likely as heterosexuals to experience domestic violence, sexual violence or stalking, and bisexual women are more likely than other women to be abused, federal health experts said on Friday.Until now, little had been known about how often violence occurred among gays and bisexuals in the United States,

Comments

[ebay313]

I'm curious what might cause the differences seen in the study.

I wonder too if they looked at all if people were "out" when the abuse occurred? Which I just think being a bisexual women, and a lot of that applies to me as a survivor and one who was raped when I was 16. But that was all before I was "out", and it doesn't really seem at all related to my sexuality to me (except in the way that my history of abuse made it harder to accept being bisexual, but not really relevant to this.)

[kyra_neko_rei]

I'm wondering that too.

Four potential thoughts I've had:

1) Men who think lesbians "just need a good dick" targeting lesbians or perceived lesbians (including bisexual women) for sexual violence.

2) Men who expect bisexual women to be willing to put out for anyone with a pulse taking it as a personal insult when a bisexual woman isn't into them ("she's into men and women --> she's into everyone --> where the hell does she get off refusing me?" --> retaliatory rape, stalking, coercion, etc

[redstar826]

although with point number 4, some women do date men before they come out/before the come to terms with the fact that they are a lesbian. I wouldn't say that we are immune to being manipulated by men, especially since reading this it sounds like a number of victims were raped when they were still in their teens.

[kyra_neko_rei]

No, I suppose they wouldn't be. I was talking about out and/or identity-knowing lesbians at that point, and didn't think past that.

It now occurs to me that lesbians who haven't come to terms with their orientation might be even more at risk for that kind of rape, if they're dating men whom they don't desire because they think it's what they're supposed to do, or figuring they're just slow to feel desire or don't feel much desire or it will happen eventually.

Fuck it, I've been that girl, putting up with dates and kisses and touches from guys I was uninterested in on the basis of believing the attraction and enjoyment were supposed to start anytime now. I should've caught that; thanks for bringing it up.

[yeats]

it's in the report, but not in the article... here are the relevant stats:

The lifetime prevalence of rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner was:
For women:
- Lesbian - 43.8%
- Bisexual - 61.1%
- Heterosexual - 35.0%

For men:
- Gay - 26.0%
- Bisexual - 37.3%
- Heterosexual - 29.0%

[endlos_schleife]

It's kind of sad that none of this really surprises me right?

[redstar826]

the CDC found the majority of women who experienced violence, regardless of their sexual orientation, faced male perpetrators.

I've become very wary of coming out to men unless I already know them quite well. I've never faced violence because I'm a lesbian, but the creepy shit I've heard from dudes is enough to make me feel pretty uneasy.

[pamuya]

Same. I think the only men in my life that know I'm bisexual are my brother, father, and cousin.

Which also makes it hard to date men, period.

[etherealtsuki]

I'm a closeted bisexual and I often thought if I could marry a guy and tell him that I'm bi AND not having used against me, especially I have to stay closeted with my family. It's a pretty frightening possibility to think about.