Death of the Crazygirl

[maynardsong]

I think this is very much on point. Discuss.As a woman, there is nothing I resent more than being called “crazy.” The “slutty” card holds a close second due to obvious double standards, but to be deemed crazy connotes a sense of manic desperation that doesn’t look good on anyone and I HATE IT. The “He’s Just Not That Into You” era has set the

Comments

[cittenscollar]

Introversion and shyness are personality defects. Lovely.

[maynardsong]

That's not the author's attitude, that's the author summing up stuff like He's Just Not That Into You.

[mswyrr]

Yep. It's totally not okay to have preferences for those things! Normal = extrovert.

[edgyspice]

And while the chivalry behind his sermon is somewhat admirable

No it isn't. Chivalry is a load of sexist bullshit.

[maynardsong]

I'm not sure she actually means that, about the chivalry being admirable.

[maynardsong]

I think she was trying too hard to make concessions to the other side and look more middle of the road, trying to do the "I'm not feminist but..." thing.

[mswyrr]

The dude peddling this idea around says he wants to preserve the dignity of women. You deserve to be pursued in spectacular and romantic ways. And while the chivalry behind his sermon is somewhat admirable, I think he’s done serious damage to a whole generation of women who associate a simple gesture of reaching out to the male species as taboo and-you got it-crazy.

There's nothing admirable about it. Because it says that all women are allowed is to stand still and receive men's attention. Women who find that position uncomfortable and unsexy are portrayed as unnatural, ungrateful beasts. Women who prefer to pursue and romance rather than be romanced are crazies.

As a woman who prefers to pursue and is icked out by being pursued, I find this shit is fucking tiresome. WOMEN LIKE ME ARE DISGUSTING FREAKS, YAY.

[mswyrr]

It's another part of policing the idea that the mandatory D/s of het relationships--with men dominating and women submitting--is the only normal, just, healthy, sane, good way to go.

That stuff is sick for straight men and women and it's sick for LGBT people and it fucking kills, so yeah. Fuck that. If there are folks who want M/f, that's cool as an option. But the way it's widely considered the only worthy option is just... UGH.

[sisterjune]

seconding this so SO HARD

[pandaseal]

I find your comment really insightful, thank you.

[kaowolfie]

I am admittedly loopy from post-root canal drugs, but would it have killed her to look at the disablism involved in the 'Crazygirl' construct?

[misters]

exactly what i was thinking.

[kaowolfie]

"I’m not recommending you ladies blow up Johnny’s inbox with 34 texts tonight, because if that’s the case, there’s nothing I can do for you, and odds are you probably are somewhat disturbed."

I just read it again and I'm even more irritated. While yes, that behavior can be the result of mental illness, I don't like the flippancy.

[addictive_sugar]

my thoughts exactly. i had high hopes about this article from the title and first few lines alone, but was quickly let down. she doesn't seem to analyze the awful ableism/misogyny combo behind the "unstable psycho bitch" archetype at all (and just how far-reaching it is beyond the specific example she denounces) or try to deconstruct it, on the contrary, she actually seems to buy into it while conveniently redefining it not to include herself.

[elialshadowpine]

This isn't quite what I thought it was going to be about from the title. I'm not really familiar with the movies/tv that she's referencing (I don't care for romantic comedies and the like), so I might be missing something here

[addictive_sugar]

well obviously all lesbian relationships ever involve one femme partner and one butch partner, so naturally it'd be the latter who would do the chasing. i mean, duh.

[inkedfeathers]

Clearly!

And if the both of you are pretty femme, obviously, the pursuer is whichever of you has the shorter hair. Or which of you is taller. Yaoi height rule clearly applies, what are you talking about, real life homosexual relationships are totally the same as those depicted in your average yaoi and yuri anime! Or which of you happens to be wearing pants at the time.

If both are wearing pants, well, then.

... I hope nobody took a word I said seriously.

[ceasetoknow]

And how does this work for lesbian relationships?

Nothing ever happens. Exactly how they want it.