Syrian men promise to marry women who were raped

[newest_gloss]

By Gul Tuysuz

KHIRBET AL-JOUS, Syria - A group of men have committed themselves to an unlikely way of challenging the violence that has swept Syria in recent months, pledging to marry women they have never met.

Comments

[keeni84]

SO FUCKED UP OH MY GOD

[keeni84]

JIC people get it twisted--I'm protesting the fact that women are killed by their own family members or considered un-marriageable/tainted for being raped by a man. I don't understand arranged marriages and it's not a part of my culture, so I can't speak on that.

[bohhead]

i....
i don't even know. how about having a loving relationship with them first?!

[liret]

That is not considered a necessary - or even desirable - prerequisite for marriage by everyone. I mean, there's definitely potential problems with the situation described in the article because we don't know how the women feel about it, but expecting them to be dating or whatever you'd consider a loving relationship before they decide to marry seems like you're applying a culturally-specific idea of how their relationship should go.

[angel_of_beth]

Yeah I agree with this, there doesn't seem to be much point trying to apply social norms from other cultures to this situation, it's already complicated enough.

[roseofjuly]

This. Not to mention that in many cultures, marriage means protection. It is often the only means a woman has of having all of the necessities in her life, and if she's raped, those opportunities are taken away from her.

[chase_glasslace]

Kayyis and Mourey said they look forward to their marriages ... Kayyis said he hopes to return to being a baker, preferably dividing his time between Lebanon and Syria. He and his future wife will live in his house in Jisr al-Shugour, he said, with “no more than two kids.”

Um, that's nice? It sounds like he's got the whole thing planned out. Hope his future wife doesn't do anything to fuck it up, like, you know, objecting to marrying this stranger with an entitlement complex.

[phoenix_anca]

Yeeah, I caught on that too.

[chase_glasslace]

The original comment I made was pretty flippant, so to clarify my position a bit for the posters below who wrote that they didn't understand the negative reactions

[roseofjuly]

When Kayyis referenced the no more than 2 children, I thought of that as a protective gesture too - as in, it's often expected that women have many many children and that his idea of limiting them is actually seen by him (and others within his culture) as a compassionate move thinking about the women instead of a demanding sense of entitlement

[iolarah]

On the one hand, my eyebrow went up because I'm not sure these women have much of a say in what happens to them. On the other, I think it's actually very sweet that these men want to help these women. It's not my culture, so I can't really say. But I hope if the women do marry these men, they're happy.

[proofrawk]

IAWTC

[inkedfeathers]

I found that somewhat worrying too, but considering the possible alternatives... I already think well of these men for wanting to marry women who are considered, at the very least, "damaged goods" in their culture as well- they already sound like good people to me, so I hope they'll be kind to them.

I hope they all find happiness as well.

[iolarah]

*nods* Considering we usually see articles in this comm about women facing corporal punishment or worse for being raped, that these men don't see them as damaged goods sounds like progress to me.

[hr0nk]

To reclaim their “honor,” families in Syria have been known to kill raped female members. Even if families allow such women to live, they are not eligible to marry.

IDK if people missed this or what. I think what these guys are doing is an ENORMOUS step in help these women and turning this around. Arranged marriages still happen, even in America, so while on one hand it's complete BS that they are forcing marriage upon them, is it better to be married to someone who is willing to go against all of your cultural social norms (or political norms, or whatever the fuck they are over there) and do something people have probably -- to rarely -- ever done before?

Personally I would rather marry a stranger than be damned from my family or fucking killed by them for being raped. IDK, this is not as easy as saying "Oh, she can escape from Syria and live a normal life."

[hr0nk]

This whole thread is just sort of making me go *facepalmfacepalmfacepalm*

That's fucking intense to think about.

[elialshadowpine]

Yeah this. It may be horrifying to think about based on our culture, but that's not really fair. Western culture is not universal. Considering the culture that they live in... I think these guys are doing something pretty amazing since these women would be considered pariahs or killed. Is it an option that would be palatable to Westerners? Never. But that's not what people should be judging by here.