Is there only One Direction for G-A-Y?

[burningmarl]

Apologies that all the UK content seems to come from the Guardian, haha. Also, One Direction are a UK pop-act formed through The X Factor and GAY is a big London gay club.

Is there only One Direction for G-A-Y?Visitors to London's gay district, Soho, may have been surprised on Saturday to see the streets thronging with hordes of young teenage

Comments

[elvistears]

I think femme lesbians often get viewed as straight girls in gay clubs. Back when I was a sorta girly looking lesbian, my uber-femme girlfriend and I were dancing together at a gay bar and this guy actually came up to us and said, "you girls don't make convincing lesbians, you know".

Anyway, sassed him good. I think a lot of standard issue gay guys in these bar have a pretty limited idea of what a lesbian looks like.

[burningmarl]

Saaaaaaaaame. That happened to me with a really camp, presumed gay guy at our student nightclub. He said something about 'I Kissed A Girl' and it was ridic.

And last week we went out as lesbian stooges with a single gay male friend and I got IDed and searched and generally hassled by every bouncer while my gf who was less girly got passed through each time.

whoops i posted this in the wrong place

[elvistears]

Puke. Also the second I cut my hair short I got hit on A LOT more and it actually pissed me off.

I'm actually transitioning now and last year I had a Lady Gaga drag queen inform me that he had been completely convinced I was a guy until he saw me dancing and tried to give me passing advice. A Lady Gaga drag queen. COME ON!

Re: whoops i posted this in the wrong place

[burningmarl]

Ohhh dear! I hate unsolicited advice, sorry that happened.

[fabnana]

I have a lot of thoughts on this, I'm not sure whether I'm articulate enough to express them but one of my biggest peeves which leaves me feeling extremely conflicted is when straight-appearing couples don't hold back on the PDA when they're attending gay clubs ALTHOUGH I realise that not all queer couples appear as such e.g. bi people in relationship with opposite sex. But I don't knpw how to really come to terms with this peeve

Also, I really miss G-A-Y on Tottenham Court Road :'(

[burningmarl]

Awh I've never been! I'd like to at some point and have been in gay places in South Wales and also Bristol, Brum, Manchester and Liverpool but never London.

That really annoys me as well, but yeah - it's really hard to judge because a couple may very well be LGBT but...argh. I have been spoken to by creepy couples looking for someone for a threesome before as well.

[fabnana]

ew ew EW. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

[mapmakerscolors]

Can I just say that I hate how saying something/someone is beloved by "teenage girls" is virtually always an insult, or at least carries that connotation? The second it becomes identified with a female, teenage fanbase (or, hell, a female fanbase of any age) it's automatically presumed not to be very good? ARRRGH /endrant

Anyway, this is indeed a thorny issue. I guess what I don't understand is the reasoning behind scheduling an act with broad appeal outside of your target demographic and yet expecting/hoping that only your target customers will show up. This just doesn't make any sense to me.

[burningmarl]

YES! Definitely.

No, nor me, your first point is the only way it makes sense. In that, he feels that way and so.... At least it wasn't an official policy!

[mapmakerscolors]

btw I love your icon <3

[angel_of_beth]

I def agree with your first point. It's so infuriating!

[ravewalker]

I've heard a couple of girls got turned away from G-A-Y in the past, ostensibly because they didn't look "lesbian" enough, whatever that means, but I and my girlfriend have never had any trouble getting into G-A-Y before, even with a large lot of us. I have to say, I don't understand why straight couples would go to a gay bar (single girls I kinda understand because I can almost see why they'd feel safer there? almost)...but still, I don't get it. There are probably hundreds of nightclubs and bars that they'd feel welcome and safe in, whereas my girlfriend and I would get negative attention and not really feel safe(in the form of guys checking us out and thinking we're only dancing together for the attention and that it's totally fine to pull my gf away and attempt to grind against her /pent up rage). And in all the LGBT venues I've been to (that aren't say, lesbian-only), it's been pretty male-dominated. But meh. Incoherent comment is incoherent.

[burningmarl]

I agree with straight girls, definitely. Except that gay guys sometimes get too touchy (like grabbing you and being like "OMG I LOVE BOOBS" Gok Wan style) and not understanding. But much less chance of lechery/violence which I have experienced in straight bars.

Maybe it's just an urban legend, but I wouldn't be totally surprised. Sorry about those guys, sound like arseholes :/. Idk, some of my straight friends say they go with a friend, or for the music or because it's "more interesting", whatever that means.

Same with male dominated. I used to go to a club which had two rooms with a corridor and the corridor led to the quieter room with the ladies loo and there was a drag queen on a booth in the corridor who would comment on the clothes/appearance/behaviour of the women going to the loo and it put me off going there.

[ravewalker]

Ugh, the last time I went to G-A-Y, I was wearing an underbust over a tshirt, not really that revealing at all, tbh, but apparently my boobs were big enough on my small frame that a couple of gay guys (and apparently straight girls) were so smitten with them they asked whether they could have a photo with my boobs me. I was incredibly confused. But yeah, I definitely agree with the smaller chance of lechery in straight bars.
Eh, it happens, I've mostly got used to it whenever we go out together, but it's still freaking irritating. More "interesting"? Er...no, I have no idea what that means either.
That would put anyone off, I think :/ Because drag queens totally have the right to stand there and comment on what other people are wearing. /badstereotyping.

[mapmakerscolors]

Yeah, as a straight girl I would say that there's real appeal in a bar/club where the risk of being creeped on by men is minimized, seeing as how every straight dude seems to think women only go out to look for men. Also, according to one of my friends, more/better dancing, but I guess that's a matter of opinion/kind of a stereotype. And there's definitely that undercurrent of "omggggg I want a fabulous gay best friend tooooooooo!!!1!!!11!"

[apricotflower]

I hate clubbing in straight bars with a queer partner. The "extra attention" is gross. But so is identity-policing via looks - I haven't been actively denied entrance, but I once had to spend 10 minutes to convince someone I was queer when I was about to volunteer at a queer dance! Not all of us cut our hair off.

I have a lot of conflicting feelings about queer space being for queer people and maybe allies, and about straight people appropriating it for their own comfort or entertainment, but at the same time, it's not like there's a 'gay test' and sexuality and gender is fluid so how would you even begin to enforce that. See above. Idk.

oh, and the misogyny of saying that as soon as teenage girls like something it's not 'cool enough' anymore - can just fuck right off.

[ravewalker]

I hate the extra attention too, but sometimes I just need places a little less flamboyant than some of the gay bars near me, so just have to deal sometimes, as much as I hate doing it. :/

[apricotflower]

yeah :/ that's the other side of it. not everything about queer spaces appeals to me, all the time. Plus, clubbing in general isn't for everyone, all the time, straight or queer.

[angel_of_beth]

I agree that it would be impossible to police fairly but I've really resented the amount of straight people in gay bars the last few times I've been out. I'm in Cardiff and the bars here are pretty small but still... Last time I was out I felt uncomfortable kissing my girlfriend because a guy kept coming onto her because she didn't look like a lesbian and there was a massive office party that were clearly there to "see the gays in action." Idk, clearly no easy answer.