WSJ piece "Why Chinese Mothers are Superior" and a rebuttal

[apis_cerana]

Cause ontd_political wouldn't let me post this

The original article:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html

A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids.

Comments

[delightedly]

my Chinese parents believe in tough love. They have been strict with me regarding extracurricular activities, friends, and relationships all my life. My dad made me cry on occasion when I struggled with math in high school. our relationship is still defined primarily by respect and not friendship. which is why I definitely agree with this sentence:

the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.

but pretty much everything else in this article rubs me the wrong way. I find myself agreeing with some of the stuff she says but it's all so abrasive and she continually perpetuates the stereotypes that we've been faced with for so long and I hate that.

[roseofjuly]

The thing is, though she acts like this

Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment.

and this

Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.

are mutually exclusive. They're not.

[apis_cerana]

They are completely different things talking about different elements in parenting.

[roseofjuly]

That's my point.

[aesthetically]

Gossssh, this article is a pissing off article.

[addienfaemne]

Anecdata, but my experience with the Korean parents of my students (I teach in Korea) reveals a level of strictness nowhere close to the strictness Chua describes. I think she is romanticizing East Asian stereotypes rather than painting a realistic picture of the strict, but still loving, average East Asian parent.

Are my kids often held to standards Western kids wouldn't get held to? Sure. Are some of them abused? Unfortunately, yes. However, from what I've observed the majority of the kids have some free time, can choose their own extracurrics, and can watch TV or visit friends. What she's describing isn't "Chinese" or "Asian" parenting. It's "Amy Chua parenting."

[roseofjuly]

Romanticizing and using them to justify her verbally abusive behavior towards her daughter.

[gunpwdr_n_sky]

Yeah, there's pride and then there's smugness. And her face in that picture with her kids is a smug LOOK WHAT I MADE THIS IS ALL ME. Children be their own people? What is that?

[fruhlings]

I agree with you wrt it being abuse. :/

[apis_cerana]

By embracing this model minority stereotype, chinese, shes also putting down other races and ethnicities.

Yeah, she's putting down other Asians by embracing a stereotype, contributing to the idea that we're all pretty much the same -- and putting down other minorities for not being good enough. It's gross -_-

[gunpwdr_n_sky]

She is excusing and legitimizing her emotionally abusive parenting by claiming its her culture. Which sure, fine, there is a foundation of aggressive and strict parenting in east asian cultures, laid there by past generations. But she is intentionally pitting west and east cultures against each other and stating that there is a definite "right" culture in regards to parenting. She's insulting asian parents and children who do not adhere to her model minority perfectionist stereotype, and encouraging exoticism "Oh, asians. They treat their kids so ~differently~."

I hope her book fails.