Pro-Choice

[kiwiana]

Here are some reasons that a straight, married feminist/womanist woman might have taken her husband's name

Comments

[dieewigenacht]

Why not just "Because she wants to" really. I don't see why a woman that wants to take her husband's name needs to explain herself.

[avaunt]

this.

[misters]

I kept waiting for that.

[roseofjuly]

Same

[meran_flash]

Fabulous comment.

[azetburcaptain]

Love this comment. :)

[avaunt]

yeah I thought feminism was about having the freedom to choose, and it intensely bothers me when people slam down on feminist women who choose to do this.

this is a good post.

[avaunt]

or any women... would edit but too poor

[azetburcaptain]

Yep, which is why I don't identify myself as a feminist anymore. Women have criticized me for being fat, and ugly and all kinds of things. My whole life, I have never been good enough for these so-called "feminist" women, my politics don't fit with theirs (I want sex work legalized and sex workers protected, I want good porn for everyone, and so on) and I am not intelligent enough because I refuse to use big words on the internet.

Don't get me wrong: feminism is totally awesome. In fact, I joined this comm to learn more about the different movements and keep in touch with what's going on in the world/read people's analysis of sexism.

But people haven't figured out this: other adults are entitled to do whatever they want within the limits of the law, which includes taking the husband's last name. Now, do some laws need to be changed? YES, definitely. Labour protection, definition of sexual assault revised, DADT, so many things! But adults need to be able to make their own decisions and choices in life.

[avaunt]

I've been wondering about my use of the word "feminist" lately because of that, too--because I fundamentally do not agree with people who disagree with all of the things you said--adults should be free to make their own decisions and do what they want as long as it isn't something that damages other people, and getting hung up on things like OMG SHE'S TAKING HER HUSBAND'S NAME, LET'S ATTACK is just. Completely not what I've been looking for, at all. Or even critiquing sex workers, or women who want to be Muslim (I encounter this a lot), and porn and so on and on.

But at the same time I don't know if I should just treat the word "feminist" as I might treat the word "Catholic" and know that there are a lot of different types within this enormous group, or ditch the word entirely.

[clafount]

I remember getting into an argument with a friend of mine who told me that taking my husband's last name was "stupid." It bugged me specifically because he was male - I don't think he had any right to make that judgment of me, considering he would never undergo the same pressures that I did

[lts29]

To add to this, I personally chose to change my last name because I wanted to have the same last name as my imaginary future children. Call me paranoid, but I had visions of my children being in an accident and getting held up that I was trying to claim children with a completely different last name.

On a larger scale, I really agree with number six. My maiden name came from my father, not my mother. It's six of one, half dozen of the other. You're taking a man's name no matter what. At least you get to choose this person and their last name.

[penumbral2276]

Can children only have the last name of their father, if both parents have different last names?

[strega_mama]

you can actually pick the last name, i believe. we just chose dad's last name with our twins cause it looked nicer with the girls' first names than mine did. plus i wanted him to feel that much more connected with them.

[penumbral2276]

Ooh, okay. Just wondering, you made it sound like the events were disjoint.