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[alwayssurgery]

Citizens of Onorata- I am pleased to announce one of my patients just successfully underwent an experimental surgery to free him of his cancer without a full removal of his stomach. Everything went swimmingly, and with new breakthroughs in rapid cell regeneration, he'll be back up and about in a matter of no time*! Please wish him well if you know

Comments

[suits_me]

...Experimental?

You'd better not be talking about who I think you're talking about.

On the other hand, the rest of that sounds pretty good...

[alwayssurgery]

Well, surgery only ever comes in two kinds, experimental or conventional. I assure you, it was perfectly safe and thoroughly tested, it just hasn't caught on yet.

Ah- but do keep an eye on him for me. You know, for anything that seems.... strange.

[suits_me]

....Strange? What kind of strange?

Wait, what was that other thing you said, about having spare parts after putting something back together? Oh my god, you didn't leave one of his kidneys out or something, did you?!

[alwayssurgery]

Ahaha- Of course not. I count everything when I start and everything when I'm done and I dont call it a day until the number turns out the same three consecutive times.

Well, if the swelling never goes down, or seems to get worse, call me immediately.

[toothsomehound]

....Are the two announcements related?

[alwayssurgery]

Ah- No. I figured out what the extra part went to with the first patient.

[toothsomehound]

How nice. And did you figure this out before or after you sewed him up?

[alwayssurgery]

I always double check before applying the sutures, good sir. Can't have any extra scarring of course.

[pirata_bello]

Then you're doing it wrong.

[alwayssurgery]

The parts thing?

Sir. I am a doctor, not a machinist. well... just as a hobby. If this wasn't so damn... complicated.

[pirata_bello]

The human body is far more complex than any machine, my friend.

[alwayssurgery]

I know that one at least.

Humans tend to come in the same basic configuration- every machine I've ever touched is unique. This one.... is a mess I'm afraid.

[a_jubatus_lycan]

Haha, that last part sounds about like my both my sisters. Can't tell you how many times they've done something like that.

[alwayssurgery]

Oh, and how did they manage?

[a_jubatus_lycan]

They usually figured it out after a while...with a few modifications. I'd suggest you ask one of them but they left Italy a few years ago.

[oh_immortal]

RAPID CELL REGENERATION?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?!?

[alwayssurgery]

Yes, to fill the gaping hole where the tumor was.

[oh_immortal]

Did you by any chance ever give a tumor-free person the ability to .. rapidly regenerate all of their cells? Or know of anything like this?

[alwayssurgery]

It was a localized application, under full consent and authorization.

The cells were restored to their natural metabolic rate to protect the healthy, normal cells and to avoid any mutation.