[FOR JULIELLA] (WOULD YOU WANT ME) IF I'M NOT MYSELF
RECIPIENT: juliella
TITLE: (Would you want me) If I'm not myself
LENGTH: 3491
WARNINGS: bodyswap
SUMMARY: He was Luhan last time he’d checked, but there is another Luhan in front of him.
FINAL NOTES: This was such a challenge. I'd never considered writing bodyswap before, so I thought I could give it a try. Thank you my dear recipient for your wonderful prompts. I hope you like this ♥
Waking up as someone else isn’t as terrifying as Luhan ever thought it would be - not that he had given it much thought. It’s just something no one actually expects. It’s Friday when he wakes up in Yixing’s bed; the room is just the same, but those stained sheets certainly are not his. He would never sleep on such disgusting bedclothes. Opening his eyes is harder than usual, and the lump in his throat doesn’t feel the same. He presses his eyes closed a few times; blinking to send the last bits of sleep away, but it’s really difficult to stay awake. Luhan should mind why he’s waking up in Yixing’s dirty bed, but he’s so tired and his waist hurts whenever he tries to shift in the bed. That’s when a shriek followed by a thump comes from the neighboring bed. His bed. He opens his eyes (it’s really hard to do so) rubbing his hands over his face to attempt easing the task of glancing to the side.
There’s something wrong. Of course there is something wrong, he’s just woken up in Yixing’s bed, but there’s something much more wrong when he spies his own face peeking from the floor, only his eyes visible from where he’s fallen. His mussed up hair, his tired face and his sparkly, confused eyes.
“Lu…han?” he asks himself. He was Luhan last time he’d checked, but… There is another Luhan in front of him.
Luhan widens his eyes, standing up from the floor and jumping across the bed to reach him. The throat, the mouth, arms. It’s all him. He’s looking at himself and maybe his brain has just broken down because Luhan is talking to him but he hears nothing. The only thing he registers is the movements of his own mouth because his eyes are still open.
Luhan grabs him by the shoulders and starts shaking him. Suddenly he can listen again. “LUHAN!”
“I… I’m Luhan,” he says, but the voice that comes out isn’t the voice he came to know as his. This voice belongs to someone else - someone he knows.
“OH MY GOD,” Luhan - the person in front of him that looks like himself - shrieks and hell, he looks horrid with his mouth that ajar and eyes pulled out. “YOU ARE ME!”
“I am… What?” he shakes his head, and it hurts. His whole body aches and he massages his back, circling his waist because that’s where it hurts the most. “I’m hurting.”
The Luhan in front of him inhales, as if he’s just remembered something really important. “Of course you are, I got hurt practicing last night. Don’t you remember?”
“What? Why do you look like me? Are you a clone?”
“For fuck’s sake, Luhan,” Luhan Two moves away, grabbing a cellphone - Real Luhan’s cellphone, his cellphone - from the bedside table and hands it over “You’re not who you think you are.”
Luhan frowns, holding the cellphone to his eye level. The black screen mirrors his own face, and the weird part is that that is not his face.
“OH MY GOD!” he shrieks, because Yixing’s reflex is staring right back at him from the cellphone screen. “WHY AM I YIXING?”
“I have no idea!” Luhan - the one in front of him - says. “Maybe we ate something…?”
Little by little, realization sinks in and he realizes he is Luhan. That one in front of him, the one that looks like him - that one is Yixing.
“YIXING?” he screams in Yixing’s voice, and it’s weird to hear it coming from his mouth.
“YES!”
They both stare at each other in complete horror for a second. Then they scream.
-
“What are we going to do?” Yixing asks him, and weirder than speaking in his roommate’s voice is to listen to him speak in his voice. It’s all so confusing that Luhan’s head hurts. Or maybe it’s because Yixing got hurt during practice and everything is painful.
They’re sitting on the floor of their shared room, bodies pressed together as if standing an inch away would make the walls explode.
“I don’t know?” he answers. “Maybe we should just pretend being each other until we swap back? It’s not like people would believe us if we told them.”
“I guess I can be you,” Yixing shrugs. “I’ll just be arrogant, isolate myself with Minseok hyung and ignore people for the whole day.”
Luhan looks indignant, “Excuse you? I am not arrogant.”
Yixing studies him intently, and Luhan had no idea his nose looks this funny when he squints. He makes a mental note to cut it out. “I guess it’s hard to be mean when you look like me. My dimple is really cute; no wonder people try to poke it all the time.”
Rolling his eyes, Luhan shoves Yixing back. “We’re not focusing on what’s really important. Why did this happen?”
“Maybe we should look this up.” Yixing makes a grab for Luhan’s cellphone on the bed and hands it over. “Search for bodyswapping or something.”
Luhan snorts, “It’s not a practice, we’re not gonna find it like that,” he keys in the password and completes with narrowed, inquisitive eyes. “We should try curses and witchcraft.”
“Who would curse us?” Yixing questions in disbelief, and the way he says it makes Luhan’s voice sound absurdly annoying. That’s why people scowl at him.
“I bet Yifan is involved,” he squints.
Fingers wrap tightly around his forearm and Luhan turns to face his own wide eyes. “We have schedules today. Damn, we have schedules. How are we supposed to make it through the day like this?”
“I guess just… Act naturally.”
-
The last thing Yixing does is act natural.
Luhan watches him - with great levels of suffering - startle through the day, gasping at every touch and whimpering at everyone that tries to make conversation. Minseok is trying to show him something on his phone (probably another of his free online courses on people interaction) and Yixing is leaning his head back, as if Minseok’s presence taints his air. Luhan steps a few inches closer and tries to eavesdrop. To be helpful, of course.
“It has fifty reviews, maybe I should sign up,” Minseok says as the hairstylist approaches him to prod his hair. Yixing just ogles and it makes Luhan’s chest ache, because he looks too creepy with his eyes that wide and Yixing should know that by now. This is not how you take care of someone else’s body. “Luhan?” Minseok squints at Yixing and oh god he’s going to ruin me.
“Y-yeah?” Yixing stammers, and there’s so much Luhan can take. He intervenes.
“Yo baby,” Luhan says naturally. Minseok frowns at him. The hairstylist stops the prodding and it feels like a hundred eyes are watching his misery. “I mean, Minseok-hyung. Gege.” He shakes his head. “Minseok-ge.” Luhan clears his throat.
“Yixing?” Minseok greets unsurely. Maybe Luhan should lose his own language and pick some of Yixing’s style. That would do.
“I was…” he clears his throat once more and approaches his friends with a little more confidence. “I couldn’t help but hear you. Are you talking about online free courses?”
“You interested in it?” Minseok inquires in disbelief, and Luhan nods as Yixing relaxes a bit next to him.
“Yeah, sure!” Luhan forces a laugh and waves a hand in the air. “Maybe we can bond over this later. Can I borrow Lu-ge for a second?”
Minseok pulls a face. Luhan knows that face, it’s the face he pulls whenever he knows something’s not right. His stomach flips as he waits for Minseok’s answer.
“Ok,” he says eyeing both of them suspiciously. “We’ll catch up later.”
Luhan smiles and hopes that Yixing’s dimple is visible. Everyone always fawns over the dimple. Then he drags Yixing away to a secure corner.
“Thanks for saving my ass,” he says.
Luhan sighs and holds his arms. “Man, you have to work with confidence. Like a true Luhan.”
Yixing looks to his left, to his right, and frowns. “Is Luhan a category of sorts?”
“Just don’t look so afraid. People will know something is not right.”
“Maybe you could stick to Minseok-ge?” Yixing whines. “If you talk stupid enough he won’t even know you’re not me. I mean, I’m not you. Or whatever.”
That’s not a bad proposition. He could stick to Minseok’s side, it would probably be better. Luhan could engage Minseok in subjects he knows the other wouldn’t be able to pass and it would give Yixing room to isolate himself and keep them both out of danger line.
“Ok, let’s try this.”
“And when I say I have lots of interest in pottery I really mean it and I sincerely think the online programs you follow are the best option for self-training,” Luhan blabbers away. They’re in the van heading to their next schedule and he’s putting all his effort into not letting Minseok ask questions. However, he’s pretty sure all Minseok sees is Yixing being weird. “I also believe this is a great opportunity for us to get closer gege. We should join the pottery course together!”
Minseok takes a while to answer. “I… Usually take the lessons I only have to watch videos. Pottery would require some… Legwork.”
“We can do that! Together!” Luhan yells. Zitao turns around to glare at him for being noisy.
Luhan thanks the heavens when they arrive at their destination; it gives Minseok no time to answer to his absurd questions as they unload the van.
He approaches Yixing as his group members walk past them and into the building.
“Jongdae kept making conversation, all I wanted was to listen to my music.” Luhan’s nose wrinkles and he decides Yixing’s got to stop with that.
“Ok, quit it,” Luhan rushes. “Stop making that face, I look horrid.”
Yixing rolls his eyes, and it’s something else that does not look good on Luhan. “How did it go with Minseok-ge?”
“Weird. I can’t talk to him like I usually do because he thinks I’m you. What do you talk about?”
“I don’t know,” Yixing tugs at his tangled earphone wires as he thinks. Luhan just can’t understand why is it so hard for Yixing to use earphone winders. “We talk about practice and sometimes about food. I usually just trash-talk you.”
“Gimme that.” He yanks the thing out of Yixing’s hands and disentangles it.
“Thanks,” Yixing mutters. “Won’t be weird that we’re using each other’s phones?”
“If we don’t walk around brandishing them no one will notice.”
They have a recording. Which is great. Except not really, Luhan is terrified. They have to perform as a full group and he knows Yixing’s dance steps, but he certainly cannot do it like Yixing. No one can, actually. And that’s where their whole plan will be ripped to shreds. The stylist already gave him Yixing’s clothes and Yixing’s hair is being styled the way the hairs of Yixings are supposed to look and Luhan is panicking.
“Are you ok?” Baekhyun dumps in the chair next to his, hair already ready and clothes unwrinkled.
“Yes, sure!” Luhan tries not to sound desperate. “I’m just anticipating this recording. I love performing here.”
Baekhyun frowns at him and lets out an awkward chuckle. “Did your Korean improve overnight? You’re speaking really fast.”
Luhan freezes. “Ah… I’m taking night lessons with Minseok...hyung. Minseok-ge.”
Baekhyun’s eyes wander to where Yixing and Minseok are having a quiet conversation. Minseok doesn’t look too spooked, so he figures Yixing’s handling it well.
“So, how is your Luhan problem coming along?” Baekhyun wiggles his eyebrows and Luhan frowns. “Did you talk to him about it last night?”
“My… Luhan problem?” he narrows his eyes and turns to look at Yixing and Minseok. Minseok is, again, trying to show something on his phone, but Yixing’s gawking at Luhan and Baekhyun. Like he’s afraid of that turn of events. Exactly like he’s afraid Luhan and Baekhyun could ever talk. “Is going… ok? I guess?”
Yixing fidgets between giving Minseok attention and inspecting Luhan and Baekhyun’s interaction.
“Did you tell him you like him?” Baekhyun asks and Luhan chokes on his own saliva. Yixing what?
“He what?”
“What?”
Suddenly everything is really confusing and Luhan feels kinda lost. Is Yixing into him? And now Baekhyun thinks he’s Yixing so he’s accidentally spilling the whole thing out and Yixing is making a pained face across the room while Minseok laughs about something on his phone. He probably knows what Baekhyun’s done by now.
“Hyung,” Baekhyun touches his neck to bring his attention back to their conversation and Luhan breaks eye contact with Yixing. “Are you ok? You seem a little out of it.”
“I’m just,” Luhan breathes. “I’m…”
A staff runs by screaming, “EXO WILL HIT THE STAGE IN TEN MINUTES.”
“We can talk about this later ok? We have to perform now,” Baekhyun says. “Are you sure you’re ok?”
“I’m…”
He only registers Baekhyun has dragged him backstage when darkness envelops him. Luhan looks around for his own form -- Yixing -- but can’t find himself anywhere.
“He shouldn’t have told you that,” his own voice says and he startles, looking at Yixing next to him.
“You like me?” Luhan questions in bewilderment. Yixing sighs and covers his face with his hands. Luhan holds his wrists and pulls them away. “Don’t use my hands to hide from me.”
“I can’t do this while you look like me, ge.”
“You think I like talking to myself? What other choice do we have? We have to talk about this, Yixing.”
Yifan is passing by, but stops in his track to stare at them in confusion. “Crazier with each passing day,” he mutters and walks away.
Luhan shakes his head and focuses on Yixing. “Since when do you like me?”
Yixing moans in desolation, “I don’t know when, but I like you ge. There, I said it!”
Silence falls upon them. “You’re right, it’s too weird to watch me confess to myself.” Yixing nods sadly. “Let’s just perform and we’ll deal with this later, ok?”
Luhan blinks at his own whiny face and decides he’ll have developed self-loathing by the end of the day.
The performance goes off horridly. It’s probably the first time EXO looked completely out of sync onstage. Luhan and Yixing are the only ones to blame. Thing is they’re used to their own parts, and in the heat of the moment it was really easy to drift off and be confused. They both get an earful from the manager and Joonmyun stops by because he could never miss a chance to glare at someone and look rightful.
Once they’re back at the dorm it’s hard to trap Yixing in for a conversation -- he seeks refuge near Minseok, Sehun and sometimes Zitao. The good part, perhaps, is that Baekhyun comes to talk to Luhan once more.
“So you talked to him,” he says matter-of-factly while clutching a little bag of candy. Luhan’s trying to organize his bed sheets because someone left a pair of dirty socks on it. “Why are you making his bed?”
“Wait,” Luhan blinks. “I did what?”
Baekhyun frowns, hand stopping midair from popping another candy in his mouth. “Something is off,” he says and Luhan freezes. “You two are acting really weird today.”
He forces his brain to come up with a plausible excuse, but the thing might as well be tossed away. It’s up to no good. So Luhan does the only thing he can think of.
“I told him,” he announces. Baekhyun’s whole face brightens and he sits on Luhan’s bed. “Get out of my--Luhan’s bed! You know how strict he is about it!”
“Gee. Does falling in love turn you into a bitch?” the other scowls, but complies. “So, spill. How did it go?”
Luhan sighs. “Weird? I mean, he never thought I would think about him that way. He never thought about me that way either, so he’s still kind of… Processing it?”
Baekhyun lets out a sympathetical chuckle and reaches for Luhan’s -- Yixing’s -- neck, caressing it affectionately. “You’re very cute, Zhang.”
“Maybe it’s my dimple?” Luhan shrugs and lowers his head, allowing Baekhyun to wrap him in a hug. Yixing would have, so he doesn’t fight it.
“He’ll come around, you’ll see,” Baekhyun says as he gently taps Luhan’s back. Luhan can’t help but wonder if he’s right.
-
Waking up as himself shouldn’t be as weird as it feels. He’s in his own bed, in his own body, smelling like himself and with no back injuries. Luhan climbs off the bed and hurries to check himself in the mirror.
It’s him. In all his blonde-haired and sparkly-eyed glory. Luhan fights the urge to scream. Instead, he jumps onto Yixing’s bed and gets a laugh when the younger jerks awake, eyes wide and dried drool on the side of his mouth.
“We’re back!” Luhan announcers, hands in the air. “Raise da roof!”
Yixing is still half-asleep and looks like he wants to ask what the hell Luhan is trying to do. He’s probably missing the fact that someone other than him is in Luhan’s body flailing his arms around. His eyes widen when it sinks in.
“Luhan?” he checks, hands reaching to pat his face. Luhan nods and pokes Yixing’s dimple, watching his friend sigh in relief. “Thank god.”
“Hey!” Luhan stops, hands on his hips. “It’s not that bad being me.”
Only a day has passed, but Luhan feels like he’s lost a year of his life. It feels good to put on his clothes again, to use his own aftershave, to hook his arm around people’s necks and be flirty without them thinking he’s having a brain seizure. Being Luhan is great.
Later in the day, when they’re all scattered around the dorm having rushed breakfasts, Minseok approaches Luhan rather wary.
“Yo!” Luhan chirps. “Good morning baby.”
Minseok narrows his eyes at him, like he’s deciding if Luhan’s worthy of a proper greeting. “You seem in your normal self today. What happened yesterday? You were downright weird.”
“I think the food we ate gave me the trots you know,” he says nonchalantly as Minseok’s eyes flicker in disbelief, his cheeks colored a pale shade of pink. Luhan snorts. “Everything is copacetic now.”
“O...kay…” Minseok draws out the vowels as Luhan tries and kisses his cheek, laughing whole-heartedly when his grossed out friend wipes his cheek.
A few feet away, Yixing is sitting next to Zitao as they both eat from the same plate. His eyes are heavy on Luhan, and something unknown stirs down the pit of Luhan’s stomach. Yixing flashes him the tiniest of smiles, but it’s enough for the unknown feeling to enhance and have Luhan’s insides catching fire. That’s new. He blinks, returning the smile, and allows Minseok to drag him away.
The unknown feeling jiggles inside Luhan during the whole day; when he’s alone and thinks about the previous day, or whenever Yixing passes by. He figures Yixing is the key, so choosing the right moment for confrontation between their tight schedules, Luhan corners him in a secluded bit of one of the four waiting rooms they’ve been.
Yixing stares at him with wide eyes, mouth parted in a way that makes his lips look positively soft and plump. Luhan isn’t sure why he’s taking note of stuff like this. Maybe it’s the saliva coating Yixing’s lips. Yes, definitely.
He clears his throat. “Something is still wrong.”
“What?” Yixing leans his head sideways in confusion.
“I keep feeling these weird things fluttering in my stomach. It only happens whenever you’re around, so it’s got to be related to what happened yesterday,” he explains, hoping it would be enough for Yixing to understand. However, when Yixing blinks at him with an unreadable face, Luhan worries. “You don’t feel it?”
“Oh, I feel it,” Yixing assures. “But it’s not related to what happened yesterday, ge. I’ve been feeling it for quite some time.”
“What do you mea-” before he can work out the whole sentence, the tips of Yixing’s fingers are pressing on his cheeks and he’s being kissed.
Luhan squeaks in surprise, his stomach hitting the high of its fluttering and clenching agonizingly. It’s just a press of lips, but Yixing’s hand comes to gently touch Luhan’s neck before parting. The kiss is soft - Yixing’s lips are soft - and Luhan starts questioning why on earth he never thought about doing this before. It feels more natural than anything they’ve done previously.
“Wow,” Luhan breathes once they part, and Yixing’s whole face burns red in all his dimpleness. “That was great.”
“Do you understand the fluttering now?” the younger questions, a hint of mischief clear in his eyes.
Luhan nods, astonished. Perhaps now they can have that conversation. (Yixing balls his hands in Luhan’s hair and pulls him in for another kiss, fiercer.) Or maybe later.
TITLE: (Would you want me) If I'm not myself
LENGTH: 3491
WARNINGS: bodyswap
SUMMARY: He was Luhan last time he’d checked, but there is another Luhan in front of him.
FINAL NOTES: This was such a challenge. I'd never considered writing bodyswap before, so I thought I could give it a try. Thank you my dear recipient for your wonderful prompts. I hope you like this ♥
Waking up as someone else isn’t as terrifying as Luhan ever thought it would be - not that he had given it much thought. It’s just something no one actually expects. It’s Friday when he wakes up in Yixing’s bed; the room is just the same, but those stained sheets certainly are not his. He would never sleep on such disgusting bedclothes. Opening his eyes is harder than usual, and the lump in his throat doesn’t feel the same. He presses his eyes closed a few times; blinking to send the last bits of sleep away, but it’s really difficult to stay awake. Luhan should mind why he’s waking up in Yixing’s dirty bed, but he’s so tired and his waist hurts whenever he tries to shift in the bed. That’s when a shriek followed by a thump comes from the neighboring bed. His bed. He opens his eyes (it’s really hard to do so) rubbing his hands over his face to attempt easing the task of glancing to the side.
There’s something wrong. Of course there is something wrong, he’s just woken up in Yixing’s bed, but there’s something much more wrong when he spies his own face peeking from the floor, only his eyes visible from where he’s fallen. His mussed up hair, his tired face and his sparkly, confused eyes.
“Lu…han?” he asks himself. He was Luhan last time he’d checked, but… There is another Luhan in front of him.
Luhan widens his eyes, standing up from the floor and jumping across the bed to reach him. The throat, the mouth, arms. It’s all him. He’s looking at himself and maybe his brain has just broken down because Luhan is talking to him but he hears nothing. The only thing he registers is the movements of his own mouth because his eyes are still open.
Luhan grabs him by the shoulders and starts shaking him. Suddenly he can listen again. “LUHAN!”
“I… I’m Luhan,” he says, but the voice that comes out isn’t the voice he came to know as his. This voice belongs to someone else - someone he knows.
“OH MY GOD,” Luhan - the person in front of him that looks like himself - shrieks and hell, he looks horrid with his mouth that ajar and eyes pulled out. “YOU ARE ME!”
“I am… What?” he shakes his head, and it hurts. His whole body aches and he massages his back, circling his waist because that’s where it hurts the most. “I’m hurting.”
The Luhan in front of him inhales, as if he’s just remembered something really important. “Of course you are, I got hurt practicing last night. Don’t you remember?”
“What? Why do you look like me? Are you a clone?”
“For fuck’s sake, Luhan,” Luhan Two moves away, grabbing a cellphone - Real Luhan’s cellphone, his cellphone - from the bedside table and hands it over “You’re not who you think you are.”
Luhan frowns, holding the cellphone to his eye level. The black screen mirrors his own face, and the weird part is that that is not his face.
“OH MY GOD!” he shrieks, because Yixing’s reflex is staring right back at him from the cellphone screen. “WHY AM I YIXING?”
“I have no idea!” Luhan - the one in front of him - says. “Maybe we ate something…?”
Little by little, realization sinks in and he realizes he is Luhan. That one in front of him, the one that looks like him - that one is Yixing.
“YIXING?” he screams in Yixing’s voice, and it’s weird to hear it coming from his mouth.
“YES!”
They both stare at each other in complete horror for a second. Then they scream.
-
“What are we going to do?” Yixing asks him, and weirder than speaking in his roommate’s voice is to listen to him speak in his voice. It’s all so confusing that Luhan’s head hurts. Or maybe it’s because Yixing got hurt during practice and everything is painful.
They’re sitting on the floor of their shared room, bodies pressed together as if standing an inch away would make the walls explode.
“I don’t know?” he answers. “Maybe we should just pretend being each other until we swap back? It’s not like people would believe us if we told them.”
“I guess I can be you,” Yixing shrugs. “I’ll just be arrogant, isolate myself with Minseok hyung and ignore people for the whole day.”
Luhan looks indignant, “Excuse you? I am not arrogant.”
Yixing studies him intently, and Luhan had no idea his nose looks this funny when he squints. He makes a mental note to cut it out. “I guess it’s hard to be mean when you look like me. My dimple is really cute; no wonder people try to poke it all the time.”
Rolling his eyes, Luhan shoves Yixing back. “We’re not focusing on what’s really important. Why did this happen?”
“Maybe we should look this up.” Yixing makes a grab for Luhan’s cellphone on the bed and hands it over. “Search for bodyswapping or something.”
Luhan snorts, “It’s not a practice, we’re not gonna find it like that,” he keys in the password and completes with narrowed, inquisitive eyes. “We should try curses and witchcraft.”
“Who would curse us?” Yixing questions in disbelief, and the way he says it makes Luhan’s voice sound absurdly annoying. That’s why people scowl at him.
“I bet Yifan is involved,” he squints.
Fingers wrap tightly around his forearm and Luhan turns to face his own wide eyes. “We have schedules today. Damn, we have schedules. How are we supposed to make it through the day like this?”
“I guess just… Act naturally.”
-
The last thing Yixing does is act natural.
Luhan watches him - with great levels of suffering - startle through the day, gasping at every touch and whimpering at everyone that tries to make conversation. Minseok is trying to show him something on his phone (probably another of his free online courses on people interaction) and Yixing is leaning his head back, as if Minseok’s presence taints his air. Luhan steps a few inches closer and tries to eavesdrop. To be helpful, of course.
“It has fifty reviews, maybe I should sign up,” Minseok says as the hairstylist approaches him to prod his hair. Yixing just ogles and it makes Luhan’s chest ache, because he looks too creepy with his eyes that wide and Yixing should know that by now. This is not how you take care of someone else’s body. “Luhan?” Minseok squints at Yixing and oh god he’s going to ruin me.
“Y-yeah?” Yixing stammers, and there’s so much Luhan can take. He intervenes.
“Yo baby,” Luhan says naturally. Minseok frowns at him. The hairstylist stops the prodding and it feels like a hundred eyes are watching his misery. “I mean, Minseok-hyung. Gege.” He shakes his head. “Minseok-ge.” Luhan clears his throat.
“Yixing?” Minseok greets unsurely. Maybe Luhan should lose his own language and pick some of Yixing’s style. That would do.
“I was…” he clears his throat once more and approaches his friends with a little more confidence. “I couldn’t help but hear you. Are you talking about online free courses?”
“You interested in it?” Minseok inquires in disbelief, and Luhan nods as Yixing relaxes a bit next to him.
“Yeah, sure!” Luhan forces a laugh and waves a hand in the air. “Maybe we can bond over this later. Can I borrow Lu-ge for a second?”
Minseok pulls a face. Luhan knows that face, it’s the face he pulls whenever he knows something’s not right. His stomach flips as he waits for Minseok’s answer.
“Ok,” he says eyeing both of them suspiciously. “We’ll catch up later.”
Luhan smiles and hopes that Yixing’s dimple is visible. Everyone always fawns over the dimple. Then he drags Yixing away to a secure corner.
“Thanks for saving my ass,” he says.
Luhan sighs and holds his arms. “Man, you have to work with confidence. Like a true Luhan.”
Yixing looks to his left, to his right, and frowns. “Is Luhan a category of sorts?”
“Just don’t look so afraid. People will know something is not right.”
“Maybe you could stick to Minseok-ge?” Yixing whines. “If you talk stupid enough he won’t even know you’re not me. I mean, I’m not you. Or whatever.”
That’s not a bad proposition. He could stick to Minseok’s side, it would probably be better. Luhan could engage Minseok in subjects he knows the other wouldn’t be able to pass and it would give Yixing room to isolate himself and keep them both out of danger line.
“Ok, let’s try this.”
“And when I say I have lots of interest in pottery I really mean it and I sincerely think the online programs you follow are the best option for self-training,” Luhan blabbers away. They’re in the van heading to their next schedule and he’s putting all his effort into not letting Minseok ask questions. However, he’s pretty sure all Minseok sees is Yixing being weird. “I also believe this is a great opportunity for us to get closer gege. We should join the pottery course together!”
Minseok takes a while to answer. “I… Usually take the lessons I only have to watch videos. Pottery would require some… Legwork.”
“We can do that! Together!” Luhan yells. Zitao turns around to glare at him for being noisy.
Luhan thanks the heavens when they arrive at their destination; it gives Minseok no time to answer to his absurd questions as they unload the van.
He approaches Yixing as his group members walk past them and into the building.
“Jongdae kept making conversation, all I wanted was to listen to my music.” Luhan’s nose wrinkles and he decides Yixing’s got to stop with that.
“Ok, quit it,” Luhan rushes. “Stop making that face, I look horrid.”
Yixing rolls his eyes, and it’s something else that does not look good on Luhan. “How did it go with Minseok-ge?”
“Weird. I can’t talk to him like I usually do because he thinks I’m you. What do you talk about?”
“I don’t know,” Yixing tugs at his tangled earphone wires as he thinks. Luhan just can’t understand why is it so hard for Yixing to use earphone winders. “We talk about practice and sometimes about food. I usually just trash-talk you.”
“Gimme that.” He yanks the thing out of Yixing’s hands and disentangles it.
“Thanks,” Yixing mutters. “Won’t be weird that we’re using each other’s phones?”
“If we don’t walk around brandishing them no one will notice.”
They have a recording. Which is great. Except not really, Luhan is terrified. They have to perform as a full group and he knows Yixing’s dance steps, but he certainly cannot do it like Yixing. No one can, actually. And that’s where their whole plan will be ripped to shreds. The stylist already gave him Yixing’s clothes and Yixing’s hair is being styled the way the hairs of Yixings are supposed to look and Luhan is panicking.
“Are you ok?” Baekhyun dumps in the chair next to his, hair already ready and clothes unwrinkled.
“Yes, sure!” Luhan tries not to sound desperate. “I’m just anticipating this recording. I love performing here.”
Baekhyun frowns at him and lets out an awkward chuckle. “Did your Korean improve overnight? You’re speaking really fast.”
Luhan freezes. “Ah… I’m taking night lessons with Minseok...hyung. Minseok-ge.”
Baekhyun’s eyes wander to where Yixing and Minseok are having a quiet conversation. Minseok doesn’t look too spooked, so he figures Yixing’s handling it well.
“So, how is your Luhan problem coming along?” Baekhyun wiggles his eyebrows and Luhan frowns. “Did you talk to him about it last night?”
“My… Luhan problem?” he narrows his eyes and turns to look at Yixing and Minseok. Minseok is, again, trying to show something on his phone, but Yixing’s gawking at Luhan and Baekhyun. Like he’s afraid of that turn of events. Exactly like he’s afraid Luhan and Baekhyun could ever talk. “Is going… ok? I guess?”
Yixing fidgets between giving Minseok attention and inspecting Luhan and Baekhyun’s interaction.
“Did you tell him you like him?” Baekhyun asks and Luhan chokes on his own saliva. Yixing what?
“He what?”
“What?”
Suddenly everything is really confusing and Luhan feels kinda lost. Is Yixing into him? And now Baekhyun thinks he’s Yixing so he’s accidentally spilling the whole thing out and Yixing is making a pained face across the room while Minseok laughs about something on his phone. He probably knows what Baekhyun’s done by now.
“Hyung,” Baekhyun touches his neck to bring his attention back to their conversation and Luhan breaks eye contact with Yixing. “Are you ok? You seem a little out of it.”
“I’m just,” Luhan breathes. “I’m…”
A staff runs by screaming, “EXO WILL HIT THE STAGE IN TEN MINUTES.”
“We can talk about this later ok? We have to perform now,” Baekhyun says. “Are you sure you’re ok?”
“I’m…”
He only registers Baekhyun has dragged him backstage when darkness envelops him. Luhan looks around for his own form -- Yixing -- but can’t find himself anywhere.
“He shouldn’t have told you that,” his own voice says and he startles, looking at Yixing next to him.
“You like me?” Luhan questions in bewilderment. Yixing sighs and covers his face with his hands. Luhan holds his wrists and pulls them away. “Don’t use my hands to hide from me.”
“I can’t do this while you look like me, ge.”
“You think I like talking to myself? What other choice do we have? We have to talk about this, Yixing.”
Yifan is passing by, but stops in his track to stare at them in confusion. “Crazier with each passing day,” he mutters and walks away.
Luhan shakes his head and focuses on Yixing. “Since when do you like me?”
Yixing moans in desolation, “I don’t know when, but I like you ge. There, I said it!”
Silence falls upon them. “You’re right, it’s too weird to watch me confess to myself.” Yixing nods sadly. “Let’s just perform and we’ll deal with this later, ok?”
Luhan blinks at his own whiny face and decides he’ll have developed self-loathing by the end of the day.
The performance goes off horridly. It’s probably the first time EXO looked completely out of sync onstage. Luhan and Yixing are the only ones to blame. Thing is they’re used to their own parts, and in the heat of the moment it was really easy to drift off and be confused. They both get an earful from the manager and Joonmyun stops by because he could never miss a chance to glare at someone and look rightful.
Once they’re back at the dorm it’s hard to trap Yixing in for a conversation -- he seeks refuge near Minseok, Sehun and sometimes Zitao. The good part, perhaps, is that Baekhyun comes to talk to Luhan once more.
“So you talked to him,” he says matter-of-factly while clutching a little bag of candy. Luhan’s trying to organize his bed sheets because someone left a pair of dirty socks on it. “Why are you making his bed?”
“Wait,” Luhan blinks. “I did what?”
Baekhyun frowns, hand stopping midair from popping another candy in his mouth. “Something is off,” he says and Luhan freezes. “You two are acting really weird today.”
He forces his brain to come up with a plausible excuse, but the thing might as well be tossed away. It’s up to no good. So Luhan does the only thing he can think of.
“I told him,” he announces. Baekhyun’s whole face brightens and he sits on Luhan’s bed. “Get out of my--Luhan’s bed! You know how strict he is about it!”
“Gee. Does falling in love turn you into a bitch?” the other scowls, but complies. “So, spill. How did it go?”
Luhan sighs. “Weird? I mean, he never thought I would think about him that way. He never thought about me that way either, so he’s still kind of… Processing it?”
Baekhyun lets out a sympathetical chuckle and reaches for Luhan’s -- Yixing’s -- neck, caressing it affectionately. “You’re very cute, Zhang.”
“Maybe it’s my dimple?” Luhan shrugs and lowers his head, allowing Baekhyun to wrap him in a hug. Yixing would have, so he doesn’t fight it.
“He’ll come around, you’ll see,” Baekhyun says as he gently taps Luhan’s back. Luhan can’t help but wonder if he’s right.
-
Waking up as himself shouldn’t be as weird as it feels. He’s in his own bed, in his own body, smelling like himself and with no back injuries. Luhan climbs off the bed and hurries to check himself in the mirror.
It’s him. In all his blonde-haired and sparkly-eyed glory. Luhan fights the urge to scream. Instead, he jumps onto Yixing’s bed and gets a laugh when the younger jerks awake, eyes wide and dried drool on the side of his mouth.
“We’re back!” Luhan announcers, hands in the air. “Raise da roof!”
Yixing is still half-asleep and looks like he wants to ask what the hell Luhan is trying to do. He’s probably missing the fact that someone other than him is in Luhan’s body flailing his arms around. His eyes widen when it sinks in.
“Luhan?” he checks, hands reaching to pat his face. Luhan nods and pokes Yixing’s dimple, watching his friend sigh in relief. “Thank god.”
“Hey!” Luhan stops, hands on his hips. “It’s not that bad being me.”
Only a day has passed, but Luhan feels like he’s lost a year of his life. It feels good to put on his clothes again, to use his own aftershave, to hook his arm around people’s necks and be flirty without them thinking he’s having a brain seizure. Being Luhan is great.
Later in the day, when they’re all scattered around the dorm having rushed breakfasts, Minseok approaches Luhan rather wary.
“Yo!” Luhan chirps. “Good morning baby.”
Minseok narrows his eyes at him, like he’s deciding if Luhan’s worthy of a proper greeting. “You seem in your normal self today. What happened yesterday? You were downright weird.”
“I think the food we ate gave me the trots you know,” he says nonchalantly as Minseok’s eyes flicker in disbelief, his cheeks colored a pale shade of pink. Luhan snorts. “Everything is copacetic now.”
“O...kay…” Minseok draws out the vowels as Luhan tries and kisses his cheek, laughing whole-heartedly when his grossed out friend wipes his cheek.
A few feet away, Yixing is sitting next to Zitao as they both eat from the same plate. His eyes are heavy on Luhan, and something unknown stirs down the pit of Luhan’s stomach. Yixing flashes him the tiniest of smiles, but it’s enough for the unknown feeling to enhance and have Luhan’s insides catching fire. That’s new. He blinks, returning the smile, and allows Minseok to drag him away.
The unknown feeling jiggles inside Luhan during the whole day; when he’s alone and thinks about the previous day, or whenever Yixing passes by. He figures Yixing is the key, so choosing the right moment for confrontation between their tight schedules, Luhan corners him in a secluded bit of one of the four waiting rooms they’ve been.
Yixing stares at him with wide eyes, mouth parted in a way that makes his lips look positively soft and plump. Luhan isn’t sure why he’s taking note of stuff like this. Maybe it’s the saliva coating Yixing’s lips. Yes, definitely.
He clears his throat. “Something is still wrong.”
“What?” Yixing leans his head sideways in confusion.
“I keep feeling these weird things fluttering in my stomach. It only happens whenever you’re around, so it’s got to be related to what happened yesterday,” he explains, hoping it would be enough for Yixing to understand. However, when Yixing blinks at him with an unreadable face, Luhan worries. “You don’t feel it?”
“Oh, I feel it,” Yixing assures. “But it’s not related to what happened yesterday, ge. I’ve been feeling it for quite some time.”
“What do you mea-” before he can work out the whole sentence, the tips of Yixing’s fingers are pressing on his cheeks and he’s being kissed.
Luhan squeaks in surprise, his stomach hitting the high of its fluttering and clenching agonizingly. It’s just a press of lips, but Yixing’s hand comes to gently touch Luhan’s neck before parting. The kiss is soft - Yixing’s lips are soft - and Luhan starts questioning why on earth he never thought about doing this before. It feels more natural than anything they’ve done previously.
“Wow,” Luhan breathes once they part, and Yixing’s whole face burns red in all his dimpleness. “That was great.”
“Do you understand the fluttering now?” the younger questions, a hint of mischief clear in his eyes.
Luhan nods, astonished. Perhaps now they can have that conversation. (Yixing balls his hands in Luhan’s hair and pulls him in for another kiss, fiercer.) Or maybe later.