I wonder if I was Ouspensky in another life, and maybe I'm still lost, and maybe I still don't have enough time left to learn the Teaching, and carry on...
I play in frivolity and distraction, and hide in intellectuality, and still really do not engage with fully -being.
I have some of the books, but not all of them. But the teaching takes years, and I hardly ever persevere very deeply or long with anything... how can I expect to teach myself? ...And there is so much to learn, can I afford to focus on just this? What other things should I be doing with my life?
I feel like not going into the game development program may be for the best... but it still rang of a way to fulfill some needs, to move towards... some kind of destiny... I wonder what... I'm replacing it with... if I merely abandon it... with wishful thinking and wasted time? How do I keep it from becoming that, and make sure that the time I'm stealing back by not engaging in this schooling at Algonquin, is something useful, and necessary, and part of my real path,
( ... )
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I play in frivolity and distraction, and hide in intellectuality, and still really do not engage with fully -being.
I have some of the books, but not all of them. But the teaching takes years, and I hardly ever persevere very deeply or long with anything... how can I expect to teach myself? ...And there is so much to learn, can I afford to focus on just this? What other things should I be doing with my life?
I feel like not going into the game development program may be for the best... but it still rang of a way to fulfill some needs, to move towards... some kind of destiny... I wonder what... I'm replacing it with... if I merely abandon it... with wishful thinking and wasted time? How do I keep it from becoming that, and make sure that the time I'm stealing back by not engaging in this schooling at Algonquin, is something useful, and necessary, and part of my real path, ( ... )
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