Torn. Part 4
Title: Torn (4/?)
Pairing: Iker Casillas/Cesc Fabregas
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters displayed. The following never happened.
Summary: Iker needs someone to save him.
Word Count: 1927
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
4
David goes up to Iker's room to find the goalkeeper laying on his bed, his eyes closed, and almost asleep. Almost, he knows, because Iker's fingers are drumming against his bare chest in a tune that David could probably recognize if he took the time to do it.
Instead, he kicks his shoes off and, trying to be as quiet as possible, crawls on top of the bed and on top of Iker. The goalkeeper feels the bed sinking and knows it's David, so he keeps his eyes closed, trying to hold back a smile.
David leans down and attaches his mouth to Iker's neck, but, instead of kissing or sucking there, he proceeds to blow a little puff of air. He does the same with both ears, his nose, and finally, his mouth.
Iker opens his eyes, confused. "What are you doing?"
"I'm blowing life into you." David says it like it's the most natural thing in the world, but Iker still looks at him like he's lost his mind, so David sighs. "You seemed a bit upset lately, and I was in a good mood, so I thought I'd blow little puffs of life and happiness into you," he explains with a grin. "Is it working?"
Iker smiles a little, then shakes his head. "No."
"Well, maybe I'm just blowing into the wrong places," David says, and moves down to unbutton Iker's pants.
Iker can't remember skipping dinner, he can't remember going back to his room, and he can't remember falling asleep. But when he wakes up, his face pressed against other man's chest (a man that certainly isn't David, as his tired mind tries to makes him believe), everything comes back to him like a movie, like he watched if happen instead of actually living it. The conversation, the breakdown, and then, all the crying in Cesc's arms.
Iker moves his head a little so he can look up at the midfielder, who's wide awake and staring out the open window. Cesc's hand is caught in Iker's locks, but it's stopped moving.
"What time is it?" Iker speaks up to call Cesc's attention. The other smiles tenderly at him.
"Late. Early, actually," he says, and then adds "Go back to sleep."
"M'not tired."
Cesc is about to object, when Iker moves to sit up and join him against the headboard. The room is dark, but once Iker's eyes adjust, he can see Cesc's profile, shining slightly with the moonlight that's coming through the open windows. As Iker stares at him, he notices there's something settled in his stomach that he can't make disappear, something he recognizes and isn't sure he wants gone in the first place.
"How long did I sleep?" Iker asks, trying to focus his mind somewhere else.
Cesc's lips twitch in a light smile, but he doesn't look at him. "A few hours."
Iker nods. The room falls silent again, and Iker's eyes threatened to fall closed. He feels like he's just gone to sleep, and maybe he has, he doesn't know what time is it, but he's guessing around 2 am. Just as he's thinking of settling back against Cesc's chest, the midfielder turns his head and looks at him.
"Can I ask you something?"
Iker nods again, without really thinking about it. He's sure that, at this point, there isn't anything he can't talk about with Cesc.
"Why did you and David break up?"
Except for that, maybe.
Iker sighs. "Honestly? I... don't know." Cesc looks at him intrigued, urging him to open up, and Iker wonders if making the midfielder happy is worth unburying all those bad memories he fought so hard to put behind. He starts answering without even doubting it. "I guess he just... I don't know, stopped loving me at one point."
"That actually happens?" Cesc asks, his eyes widening like the ones of a little kid who's being told a bedtime story. "I mean, I've never been in love before. Or I don't think I have, at least. But can you really do that? Stop loving someone all of a sudden?"
Iker chuckles a little, finding Cesc's questions and Cesc in general completely adorable. "It doesn't happen all of a sudden. Not if the love's strong enough, at least."
"But then--?"
"It takes time. Feelings start to fade, sometimes they don't last as much as we want them to. Daily escapades become 5 minutes' visits once a month, and you start feeling the emptiness and the loss, while the other person's got someone else to fill in that space. And then... you notice things are changing, and you can't stop them from doing so.•
"So he just kind of... left, one day?"
"No. We talked about it, sort of."
"Oh."
Cesc falls silent, and Iker knows he's keeping something back, something he doesn't dare to ask, and Iker can guess what it is.
"I still think about him, if that's what you're wondering." Cesc looks up at him surprised, and Iker confirms his suspicions. "Random memories keep popping up in my head, sometimes good ones, sometimes bad."
"So you still love him, then? You miss him?" There's an odd tone in Cesc's voice that Iker can't put his finger on.
He sighs, then shrugs. "I don't think so. I think it's more like... I miss having someone like that, you know? Someone important to me, and who cares, and who shows he he does."
Cesc simply nods his head, silently, and Iker's surprised he found it so easy to speak about David with Cesc. Everything feels different to him around Cesc, it feels like things go smoother, like he can be himself all the time, and Iker doesn't want any of this to go away.
The knock on the door startles Iker, and makes him pause half-way through buttoning up his shirt. At first, he doesn't move, just stares at the door from his place next to his bed, his hands still freezed up in midair. But as another knock is heard, he finishes up his shirt and walks to the door.
Iker prays to whatever God there's up there, that the one knocking on their hotel room isn't Cesc. It's still fifteen minutes early for the dinner they're sharing, but he doesn't know if Cesc forgot something, or maybe he's one of those people who pick up their dates earlier than planned. It's not a date, Iker,, he reminds himself.
But as he opens the door, it's not Cesc who's standing there, but Sergio instead. The defender stares up at Iker with red eyes, his hair all messy and his shirt wrinkled, looking as though he's ready to fall down and apart in any minute.
"Ser? Sergio, you alright?"
"Fuck, Iker."
Sergio puts both his arms around Iker's middle and breaks down, sobbing into Iker's neck, and the goalkeeper freezes for a second or two before he embraces Sergio back, just in time to prevent him from falling as his legs begin to shake.
Iker's never been any good at comforting other people, but after his night with Cesc, he feels like he may have learned something from it. He kicks the door closed with his right foot, and he drags Sergio to his bed, helping him lay there and taking place beside him. Sergio attaches himself to Iker almost immediately, wrapping his arms tightly around the goalkeeper again.
"Shh, Ser, it's okay, I'm here," Iker says, only repeating the words he heard from Cesc.
"It's not.. okay," Sergio says between sobs, "He... he..."
"He, what? Who's he, Ser?"
Sergio wipes at his eyes and at his nose, and runs a hand through his hair, making it even messier than before. He looks up at Iker.
"Fernando, Iker, who else?"
"I don't...," Iker sighs and goes quiet for a few seconds, cursing his inability to read people, even when it's someone like best friend. "What happened with him?"
"He doesn't love me, Iker," Sergio says miserably, his eyes filling with tears again.
Iker frowns. "What? What are you talking about, Ser? Of course Fer loves you, how can you even think that?"
"Yes, he loves me, Iker, but he doesn't love me that way." Some more tears drop from Sergio's eyes, and he doesn't bother wiping them away. "Fuck, I was so stupid, Iker. I was so blind."
"No, no, you weren't stupid," Iker says, using such a soft voice that it even surprises himself. "I... I mean, I thought he wanted you too, he always was... I mean..."
"He doesn't love me," Sergio explains, shaking his head from side to side.
Iker feels something heavy drop on his stomach, and he knows this isn't his own pain, it's Sergio's, but he's feeling it like it was him who was just turned down by the person he loves. He looks down at Sergio and sees him so vulnerable, so weak, so broken, and he wonders if he looked that way when he was like this with Cesc. Cesc.
"Dammit," Iker exclaims, throwing a glance at his watch to confirm that he's already 10 minutes late.
"What?" Sergio mumbles.
"No. Nothing." Iker tightens his arms around Sergio, feeling guilty as hell for wishing that this could've happened some other time, other time when he didn't have to be downstairs having dinner with Cesc Fabregas.
"No, what?" Sergio insists, and then, a faint smile covers his lips. "Oh, right. Your date with Cesc."
Iker blushes hotly. "It's... it's not a date! And how do you know about it, anyway? I didn't tell you."
"You're not the only one who talks with Cesc, you know," Sergio points out. "He tells me and... well, he tells us everything that goes on between you two."
"He shouldn't." Iker says with a frown, feeling suddenly exposed in front of Sergio, even if he isn't the one who's crying over someone else.
"Iker, you should be flattered," Sergio says, and the goalkeeper knows that Sergio is just holding on to this subject so that he doesn't have to think in Nando. "The fact he talks about you all the time is because there's something there, right?"
"There's a reason I only tell him about certain things. He shouldn't be telling you."
"Well, that's hardly the point right now. You're late, so go."
Sergio pushes lightly on Iker's shoulder, but Iker doesn't move. "You sure? I can stay with you if you need me."
"I'm sure. Just go."
Sergio stays in their room as Iker leaves and goes down the elevator to meet Cesc. It's only now that he starts to feel a bit nervous about their dinner, even if it's not a date and they'll be surrounded by most of the other players.
Cesc's waiting for him at the entrance of the cafeteria, wearing a simple shirt and a pair of jeans, but he looks so good that Iker's suddenly aware that he didn't fix his hair before leaving his room, and that his shirt is wrinkled and has a damp spot from Sergio's tears and God knows what else. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm going to fuck this up.
"I thought you weren't coming," Cesc says as Iker reaches him.
"I'm sorry. It's just that, well, Sergio showed up and..." Iker stops talking as Cesc's eyebrows go up at the mention of Sergio, and he curses again, knowing there's no way he still can save the night. He sighs. "I'll explain it to you in a minute."
Cesc smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Okay. Let's go."
Pairing: Iker Casillas/Cesc Fabregas
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters displayed. The following never happened.
Summary: Iker needs someone to save him.
Word Count: 1927
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
4
David goes up to Iker's room to find the goalkeeper laying on his bed, his eyes closed, and almost asleep. Almost, he knows, because Iker's fingers are drumming against his bare chest in a tune that David could probably recognize if he took the time to do it.
Instead, he kicks his shoes off and, trying to be as quiet as possible, crawls on top of the bed and on top of Iker. The goalkeeper feels the bed sinking and knows it's David, so he keeps his eyes closed, trying to hold back a smile.
David leans down and attaches his mouth to Iker's neck, but, instead of kissing or sucking there, he proceeds to blow a little puff of air. He does the same with both ears, his nose, and finally, his mouth.
Iker opens his eyes, confused. "What are you doing?"
"I'm blowing life into you." David says it like it's the most natural thing in the world, but Iker still looks at him like he's lost his mind, so David sighs. "You seemed a bit upset lately, and I was in a good mood, so I thought I'd blow little puffs of life and happiness into you," he explains with a grin. "Is it working?"
Iker smiles a little, then shakes his head. "No."
"Well, maybe I'm just blowing into the wrong places," David says, and moves down to unbutton Iker's pants.
Iker can't remember skipping dinner, he can't remember going back to his room, and he can't remember falling asleep. But when he wakes up, his face pressed against other man's chest (a man that certainly isn't David, as his tired mind tries to makes him believe), everything comes back to him like a movie, like he watched if happen instead of actually living it. The conversation, the breakdown, and then, all the crying in Cesc's arms.
Iker moves his head a little so he can look up at the midfielder, who's wide awake and staring out the open window. Cesc's hand is caught in Iker's locks, but it's stopped moving.
"What time is it?" Iker speaks up to call Cesc's attention. The other smiles tenderly at him.
"Late. Early, actually," he says, and then adds "Go back to sleep."
"M'not tired."
Cesc is about to object, when Iker moves to sit up and join him against the headboard. The room is dark, but once Iker's eyes adjust, he can see Cesc's profile, shining slightly with the moonlight that's coming through the open windows. As Iker stares at him, he notices there's something settled in his stomach that he can't make disappear, something he recognizes and isn't sure he wants gone in the first place.
"How long did I sleep?" Iker asks, trying to focus his mind somewhere else.
Cesc's lips twitch in a light smile, but he doesn't look at him. "A few hours."
Iker nods. The room falls silent again, and Iker's eyes threatened to fall closed. He feels like he's just gone to sleep, and maybe he has, he doesn't know what time is it, but he's guessing around 2 am. Just as he's thinking of settling back against Cesc's chest, the midfielder turns his head and looks at him.
"Can I ask you something?"
Iker nods again, without really thinking about it. He's sure that, at this point, there isn't anything he can't talk about with Cesc.
"Why did you and David break up?"
Except for that, maybe.
Iker sighs. "Honestly? I... don't know." Cesc looks at him intrigued, urging him to open up, and Iker wonders if making the midfielder happy is worth unburying all those bad memories he fought so hard to put behind. He starts answering without even doubting it. "I guess he just... I don't know, stopped loving me at one point."
"That actually happens?" Cesc asks, his eyes widening like the ones of a little kid who's being told a bedtime story. "I mean, I've never been in love before. Or I don't think I have, at least. But can you really do that? Stop loving someone all of a sudden?"
Iker chuckles a little, finding Cesc's questions and Cesc in general completely adorable. "It doesn't happen all of a sudden. Not if the love's strong enough, at least."
"But then--?"
"It takes time. Feelings start to fade, sometimes they don't last as much as we want them to. Daily escapades become 5 minutes' visits once a month, and you start feeling the emptiness and the loss, while the other person's got someone else to fill in that space. And then... you notice things are changing, and you can't stop them from doing so.•
"So he just kind of... left, one day?"
"No. We talked about it, sort of."
"Oh."
Cesc falls silent, and Iker knows he's keeping something back, something he doesn't dare to ask, and Iker can guess what it is.
"I still think about him, if that's what you're wondering." Cesc looks up at him surprised, and Iker confirms his suspicions. "Random memories keep popping up in my head, sometimes good ones, sometimes bad."
"So you still love him, then? You miss him?" There's an odd tone in Cesc's voice that Iker can't put his finger on.
He sighs, then shrugs. "I don't think so. I think it's more like... I miss having someone like that, you know? Someone important to me, and who cares, and who shows he he does."
Cesc simply nods his head, silently, and Iker's surprised he found it so easy to speak about David with Cesc. Everything feels different to him around Cesc, it feels like things go smoother, like he can be himself all the time, and Iker doesn't want any of this to go away.
The knock on the door startles Iker, and makes him pause half-way through buttoning up his shirt. At first, he doesn't move, just stares at the door from his place next to his bed, his hands still freezed up in midair. But as another knock is heard, he finishes up his shirt and walks to the door.
Iker prays to whatever God there's up there, that the one knocking on their hotel room isn't Cesc. It's still fifteen minutes early for the dinner they're sharing, but he doesn't know if Cesc forgot something, or maybe he's one of those people who pick up their dates earlier than planned. It's not a date, Iker,, he reminds himself.
But as he opens the door, it's not Cesc who's standing there, but Sergio instead. The defender stares up at Iker with red eyes, his hair all messy and his shirt wrinkled, looking as though he's ready to fall down and apart in any minute.
"Ser? Sergio, you alright?"
"Fuck, Iker."
Sergio puts both his arms around Iker's middle and breaks down, sobbing into Iker's neck, and the goalkeeper freezes for a second or two before he embraces Sergio back, just in time to prevent him from falling as his legs begin to shake.
Iker's never been any good at comforting other people, but after his night with Cesc, he feels like he may have learned something from it. He kicks the door closed with his right foot, and he drags Sergio to his bed, helping him lay there and taking place beside him. Sergio attaches himself to Iker almost immediately, wrapping his arms tightly around the goalkeeper again.
"Shh, Ser, it's okay, I'm here," Iker says, only repeating the words he heard from Cesc.
"It's not.. okay," Sergio says between sobs, "He... he..."
"He, what? Who's he, Ser?"
Sergio wipes at his eyes and at his nose, and runs a hand through his hair, making it even messier than before. He looks up at Iker.
"Fernando, Iker, who else?"
"I don't...," Iker sighs and goes quiet for a few seconds, cursing his inability to read people, even when it's someone like best friend. "What happened with him?"
"He doesn't love me, Iker," Sergio says miserably, his eyes filling with tears again.
Iker frowns. "What? What are you talking about, Ser? Of course Fer loves you, how can you even think that?"
"Yes, he loves me, Iker, but he doesn't love me that way." Some more tears drop from Sergio's eyes, and he doesn't bother wiping them away. "Fuck, I was so stupid, Iker. I was so blind."
"No, no, you weren't stupid," Iker says, using such a soft voice that it even surprises himself. "I... I mean, I thought he wanted you too, he always was... I mean..."
"He doesn't love me," Sergio explains, shaking his head from side to side.
Iker feels something heavy drop on his stomach, and he knows this isn't his own pain, it's Sergio's, but he's feeling it like it was him who was just turned down by the person he loves. He looks down at Sergio and sees him so vulnerable, so weak, so broken, and he wonders if he looked that way when he was like this with Cesc. Cesc.
"Dammit," Iker exclaims, throwing a glance at his watch to confirm that he's already 10 minutes late.
"What?" Sergio mumbles.
"No. Nothing." Iker tightens his arms around Sergio, feeling guilty as hell for wishing that this could've happened some other time, other time when he didn't have to be downstairs having dinner with Cesc Fabregas.
"No, what?" Sergio insists, and then, a faint smile covers his lips. "Oh, right. Your date with Cesc."
Iker blushes hotly. "It's... it's not a date! And how do you know about it, anyway? I didn't tell you."
"You're not the only one who talks with Cesc, you know," Sergio points out. "He tells me and... well, he tells us everything that goes on between you two."
"He shouldn't." Iker says with a frown, feeling suddenly exposed in front of Sergio, even if he isn't the one who's crying over someone else.
"Iker, you should be flattered," Sergio says, and the goalkeeper knows that Sergio is just holding on to this subject so that he doesn't have to think in Nando. "The fact he talks about you all the time is because there's something there, right?"
"There's a reason I only tell him about certain things. He shouldn't be telling you."
"Well, that's hardly the point right now. You're late, so go."
Sergio pushes lightly on Iker's shoulder, but Iker doesn't move. "You sure? I can stay with you if you need me."
"I'm sure. Just go."
Sergio stays in their room as Iker leaves and goes down the elevator to meet Cesc. It's only now that he starts to feel a bit nervous about their dinner, even if it's not a date and they'll be surrounded by most of the other players.
Cesc's waiting for him at the entrance of the cafeteria, wearing a simple shirt and a pair of jeans, but he looks so good that Iker's suddenly aware that he didn't fix his hair before leaving his room, and that his shirt is wrinkled and has a damp spot from Sergio's tears and God knows what else. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm going to fuck this up.
"I thought you weren't coming," Cesc says as Iker reaches him.
"I'm sorry. It's just that, well, Sergio showed up and..." Iker stops talking as Cesc's eyebrows go up at the mention of Sergio, and he curses again, knowing there's no way he still can save the night. He sighs. "I'll explain it to you in a minute."
Cesc smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Okay. Let's go."