Begin Again // Beginners!
So that scene where Teppei's got Hamano-kun by the collar and is all "Even though he pisses me off, he's my friend!" and Danji comes in right then and goes "Shimura"... THERE IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING MORE THERE OKAY. This is the more.
Begin Again
Tachibana Danji/Shimura Teppei
R, 2454 words, pwp but with ~feelings~
Takes place in the middle of Beginners episode 5 (during the night after Danji goes to speak with Yamane). Sequel to Beginners Luck!.
When Danji gets back to their room after running out earlier, Teppei can see a faint ring of red around his eyes that suggests he's been crying. Danji does his best to keep his head down and avoid looking at Teppei, though, so Teppei also looks away and tries to pretend he doesn't notice. It's easy enough to feign inattention while Danji finishes packing the rest of his stuff, but once he's done and double-checked everything the silence settles heavily over the both of them. Teppei, twiddling his thumbs on the top bunk, runs out of patience with this sort of thing quickly.
He rolls over, craning his neck over the low railing of his bed to frown at Danji. "So you're really just going to leave? Just like that?"
"I thought we'd already discussed this," says Danji, without emotion. He's lying straight and still on his cot, one arm flung over his face. The corners of his mouth, the only part of his face Teppei can see, are drawn tight and unhappy, but otherwise he might as well be resting after another regular day of school.
It's strange, Teppei reflects, how different two people can be even with similar pasts. They'd both been delinquents in their school days, and though Teppei had never had a taste for bullying and had never stolen 2,780 yen from anyone, he can understand that sometimes there are feelings that just need a good fight to tame. He understands, too, the frustration, the oppressive guilt, the all-consuming need to make reparations, that comes from seeing a good friend placed in danger because of his own actions.
But they're different, too. Nobody had gotten hurt when Teppei had left his biker gang. Yuichi is still his best friend, and even if they don't have a chance to talk much these days, Teppei never has to wonder if the person he considers his best friend is still his friend, or if Yuichi approves of what he's doing with his life now.
It must be so lonely... Suddenly, Teppei has a flash of empathy for Danji, so swift and sharp it takes his breath away. It must be so lonely to live with that sort of crushing guilt and uncertainty, he thinks. It must be so lonely for Danji, barring himself from making new friends because he still can’t forgive himself for what happened in the past.
The feeling is so oppressive that Teppei has to move, has to shake it off. He swings his feet over the side of the bed and hops down lightly.
"Tachibana," he says, approaching Danji's bed.
"Mmm?"
Though he responds quickly enough, Danji doesn't move a muscle, so Teppei shoves his legs aside to make room for himself to sit. Danji grumbles and finally takes his arm off his face to look questioningly at Teppei, squinting a little against the light.
Teppei was going to say something, he really was, but there's something so raw and unguarded in Danji's eyes in this split second before he can throw up his usual guard that the words all go out of his head. So instead he acts on instinct, leans down and fits his lips over Danji's. He kisses Danji slowly, tentatively, unsure of Danji's reaction and his own skill. It takes Danji a long moment before he kisses back-long enough that Teppei gets insecure and is about to pull away-but he does.
Danji kisses him back deeply and insistently, though there's none of the rough passion from the other time by the pool. Instead, his hands at Teppei's shoulders are clinging and needy, and his tongue explores Teppei's mouth with such sweet thoroughness that it makes Teppei's limbs feel all melted and boneless. The kiss lasts and lasts, and Teppei’s neck muscles start to get cramped before either of them make a move to pull away.
Danji moves first, scooting over to make room for Teppei to lie down too. There isn’t really enough room on the narrow cot for both of them, though, and Teppei ends up more on top of Danji than next to him. He's got one of Danji's thighs between his legs, and he can feel the muscles flex against his already half-hard cock as they shift to get more comfortable. It feels good so Teppei grinds his hips a little, then reaches down with one hand to see if Danji is getting hard too.
He is, more so than Teppei, even, and that sends a little frisson of pleasure through Teppei’s stomach. Happy, he grins at the thought of cool and aloof Tachibana Danji, with such exacting standards, wanting him.
"That glad to be rid of me?" Danji asks, pulling back a little. His expression looks closed off, but his voice is light and Teppei suspects he's just whistling in the dark.
It's on the tip of Teppei's tongue to say of course, that he'd love to have a room to himself instead of sharing one with a prig like Danji, but for once his brain works faster than his mouth and he refrains from speaking his thoughts out loud. Instead, he settles for palming Danji's cock through his pants and making a stupid comment about Danji being happy to see him. Danji makes a small sound of reluctant amusement through his nose, and then lays back to allow Teppei full reign.
Quickly, Teppei has Danji's pants off, impatient with the inefficiency of rubbing Danji through layers of rough cloth. Danji's cock feels much better in his hand, hard and hot and silky. He likes seeing the changes in Danji's expression too, as the tension slowly disappears and is replaced by a look of pleasure.
It gives Teppei pleasure, too, to see Danji's response to him. He's fully hard now, just from the knowledge that he can affect Danji this way. He's a little surprised, never having thought about it, at how arousing it is to know that he can have that sort of effect on someone else. It makes him curious to see what other responses he can elicit out of Danji so he wriggles downwards and takes the tip of Danji's cock into his mouth before he can think twice about what he's doing.
It's far too easy to get accustomed to the feel of Danji’s cock in his mouth. He likes it far too much. It doesn't take long to figure out just how to wrap his lips around Danji's length so he doesn't accidentally graze him with his teeth; doesn’t take long to maneuver his tongue to flick at that sensitive spot underneath the head as he bobs up and down; doesn’t take long to figure out just how much suction it takes to make Danji groan and jerk his hips forward.
"God, yes," Danji whispers. "Shimura, your mouth feels so good." He gently brushes Teppei's bangs aside and tucks a few of the longer strands of Teppei's hair behind his ear.
At the tenderness of the gesture, Teppei looks up, and when their eyes meet, he sees such naked longing in Danji's eyes that it makes his heart squeeze with the desire to fulfill it.
He can only do what he can to make Danji feel good in the moment, though. Teppei tries to take Danji in as far as possible, relaxing his throat muscles to prevent his gag reflex from kicking in the way he's read on the Internet. That's the only hard part of it all, but Teppei manages to get most of Danji in his mouth, little by little, until Danji jerks his hips forward again in impatience. Startled, Teppei pulls back, and then overbalances and tips over the edge of the bed onto the floor, arms thrown out behind to catch himself.
Danji sits up and laughs at him for this, which makes Teppei pout and point out that Danji should be apologizing, not laughing at him. Danji doesn't, though, just shakes his head and tells Teppei that he's got some vaseline in one of his recently packed boxes that they can use. Teppei happily riffles through Danji's stuff, making a mess of the well-organized packing, and Danji bitches about it from the bed but doesn't actually make a move to stop him.
Dropping the tub of vaseline onto Danji's stomach, Teppei steps out of his own shorts with a big sigh of satisfaction. He's been dying for some relief and Danji has yet to make a move to touch him at all. "Do some work here," he complains, leaning one knee on the bed.
"Wouldn't want you to feel 'surprise attacked' though," Danji murmurs, so smoothly that Teppei knows he's teasing for sure this time.
"Don't be an ass! That was just..."
"Your mouth running off as usual?" Danji smiles faintly. "I'll say it was. Come here, then."
He tugs at Teppei's thighs until he's got Teppei kneeling, straddled over his lap. He returns the favor from earlier, sucking Teppei's cock as he stretches Teppei with his vaseline covered fingers until Teppei's thighs are shaking with his effort to keep upright. Then Danji slathers his own cock with some more vaseline and guides Teppei down on top of him.
"L-like this?" Teppei wonders, looking down at himself sitting on Danji’s lap, breathy from being filled up by Danji.
"Feels different, right?" says Danji, hands at Teppei's hips to help get a good rhythm going. "I've heard it can be better this way." He thrusts up a little, hitting Teppei's prostate, and Teppei immediately finds himself moaning in agreement.
It's actually harder to hold out this time than it was before, the new position and Teppei's new-found sympathy for Danji making everything feel better and more intense. But he's also more determined to make it last. He likes the look of pleasure on Danji's face a lot more than the impotent despair that was there earlier, and suddenly he feels a driving need to make Danji come for him.
He thinks back to all the porn he's watched and makes use of everything he can remember - clenching around Danji's cock, and rolling his hips, and massaging that point under his own balls to loosen them when he gets too close to orgasm and they pull up too tight. Danji seems to be trying his best to hold back as well, though. He keeps clenching his teeth as he gets close, and grabbing Teppei's hips to keep him from moving. Teppei retaliates by clenching rhythmically and leaning down to lave one of Danji's nipples with his tongue, making Danji arch and shudder underneath him.
"Stop," Danji pleads, digging his fingers hard into Teppei's thighs, "Shimura, stop."
"But I want you to come for me," Teppei says.
Danji drags in a ragged breath at this, closing his eyes as he fights for control. His whole body is taut, Teppei can feel all the muscles hard and straining as he runs his hands down Danji's arms, across his chest, and to his abdomen.
"Let's just make it last a little longer," Danji says, finally. "I want to enjoy it... as long as I can."
He's not just talking about the sex, Teppei realizes. It's everything: the narrow, hard little bed, the harsh fluorescent light of the dorm room, the rigid rules of KPPS, the future and being a policeman. Danji really likes it here, enjoys the strict rules, the strenuous training and even the boring lectures that Teppei detests. Danji fits in here, looks good in uniform, is a pattern-card of what a good policeman should be. Teppei burns with injustice for his fellow student.
But he slows down and tries to make it last for the both of them. It doesn't take that much longer anyway, they're both so close, but he makes sure to milk as much pleasure out of it as possible for Danji, stroking and caressing wherever his hands can reach. He throws his head back and lets all the sounds spill from his throat, loving the way Danji's eyes flare with lust each time he moans.
Danji comes a lot harder this time than he did before, snapping his hips up uncontrollably into Teppei. His eyes are closed and he cries out Teppei’s name and the look on his face is such a tangle of emotion Teppei thinks that expression might be burned into his memory forever.
Focusing so hard on making it last for Danji helped Teppei hold out longer, but having waited so long it doesn't take much before he's rushing to the brink of orgasm now. He's helped along by long, tight strokes from Danji's hands, wrists twisting deftly on the upstrokes. Teppei falls forward to lean on his elbows, unable to sit up straight any longer, squirming because Danji's fingers feel too good on his over-sensitized cock. Still, when he comes, he remembers to point away from Danji so he doesn't get a mess all over Danji's stomach again. The result is a mess all over the straw matting of the bed instead-and even a little on the wall, but he's sure not going to mention it if Danji doesn't notice himself-which makes Danji's nose scrunch up in distaste.
"Don't even say it," Teppei warns, collapsing all over Danji.
Danji's low rumble of laughter feels good against his chest. "Well... I guess it doesn't matter any more, after tonight, right?"
"Don't say that, either," says Teppei. He lifts a hand and swats vaguely in the direction of Danji's shoulder. "You don't know what could happen tomorrow."
Danji doesn't say anything to that. He sighs, quiet and resigned, and Teppei's not sure if that means he's giving in to Teppei's optimism or if he's just tired of fighting the system.
It's pointless to argue about it though, and anyway Teppei is too tired. He's so tired that just the idea of having to climb up into his top bunk to sleep is daunting. After staring at his own bed for a moment between half-closed lids, he gives up on the thought and just rolls over (he doesn't mind taking the wet spot, even) and closes his eyes.
He expects Danji to kick him out and is surprised when Danji only snorts lightly and gets up to turn out the light. Danji doesn't come back, however, instead climbing up to sleep in Teppei's empty bunk. Teppei is conscious of a curious feeling of disappointment in his chest, which makes him determinedly squeeze his eyes shut tight. His breathing is already deep and even by the time Danji lifts a head to look at him across the room, and he doesn’t hear Danji say "thanks, Shimura," low and quiet into the darkness.
Begin Again
Tachibana Danji/Shimura Teppei
R, 2454 words, pwp but with ~feelings~
Takes place in the middle of Beginners episode 5 (during the night after Danji goes to speak with Yamane). Sequel to Beginners Luck!.
When Danji gets back to their room after running out earlier, Teppei can see a faint ring of red around his eyes that suggests he's been crying. Danji does his best to keep his head down and avoid looking at Teppei, though, so Teppei also looks away and tries to pretend he doesn't notice. It's easy enough to feign inattention while Danji finishes packing the rest of his stuff, but once he's done and double-checked everything the silence settles heavily over the both of them. Teppei, twiddling his thumbs on the top bunk, runs out of patience with this sort of thing quickly.
He rolls over, craning his neck over the low railing of his bed to frown at Danji. "So you're really just going to leave? Just like that?"
"I thought we'd already discussed this," says Danji, without emotion. He's lying straight and still on his cot, one arm flung over his face. The corners of his mouth, the only part of his face Teppei can see, are drawn tight and unhappy, but otherwise he might as well be resting after another regular day of school.
It's strange, Teppei reflects, how different two people can be even with similar pasts. They'd both been delinquents in their school days, and though Teppei had never had a taste for bullying and had never stolen 2,780 yen from anyone, he can understand that sometimes there are feelings that just need a good fight to tame. He understands, too, the frustration, the oppressive guilt, the all-consuming need to make reparations, that comes from seeing a good friend placed in danger because of his own actions.
But they're different, too. Nobody had gotten hurt when Teppei had left his biker gang. Yuichi is still his best friend, and even if they don't have a chance to talk much these days, Teppei never has to wonder if the person he considers his best friend is still his friend, or if Yuichi approves of what he's doing with his life now.
It must be so lonely... Suddenly, Teppei has a flash of empathy for Danji, so swift and sharp it takes his breath away. It must be so lonely to live with that sort of crushing guilt and uncertainty, he thinks. It must be so lonely for Danji, barring himself from making new friends because he still can’t forgive himself for what happened in the past.
The feeling is so oppressive that Teppei has to move, has to shake it off. He swings his feet over the side of the bed and hops down lightly.
"Tachibana," he says, approaching Danji's bed.
"Mmm?"
Though he responds quickly enough, Danji doesn't move a muscle, so Teppei shoves his legs aside to make room for himself to sit. Danji grumbles and finally takes his arm off his face to look questioningly at Teppei, squinting a little against the light.
Teppei was going to say something, he really was, but there's something so raw and unguarded in Danji's eyes in this split second before he can throw up his usual guard that the words all go out of his head. So instead he acts on instinct, leans down and fits his lips over Danji's. He kisses Danji slowly, tentatively, unsure of Danji's reaction and his own skill. It takes Danji a long moment before he kisses back-long enough that Teppei gets insecure and is about to pull away-but he does.
Danji kisses him back deeply and insistently, though there's none of the rough passion from the other time by the pool. Instead, his hands at Teppei's shoulders are clinging and needy, and his tongue explores Teppei's mouth with such sweet thoroughness that it makes Teppei's limbs feel all melted and boneless. The kiss lasts and lasts, and Teppei’s neck muscles start to get cramped before either of them make a move to pull away.
Danji moves first, scooting over to make room for Teppei to lie down too. There isn’t really enough room on the narrow cot for both of them, though, and Teppei ends up more on top of Danji than next to him. He's got one of Danji's thighs between his legs, and he can feel the muscles flex against his already half-hard cock as they shift to get more comfortable. It feels good so Teppei grinds his hips a little, then reaches down with one hand to see if Danji is getting hard too.
He is, more so than Teppei, even, and that sends a little frisson of pleasure through Teppei’s stomach. Happy, he grins at the thought of cool and aloof Tachibana Danji, with such exacting standards, wanting him.
"That glad to be rid of me?" Danji asks, pulling back a little. His expression looks closed off, but his voice is light and Teppei suspects he's just whistling in the dark.
It's on the tip of Teppei's tongue to say of course, that he'd love to have a room to himself instead of sharing one with a prig like Danji, but for once his brain works faster than his mouth and he refrains from speaking his thoughts out loud. Instead, he settles for palming Danji's cock through his pants and making a stupid comment about Danji being happy to see him. Danji makes a small sound of reluctant amusement through his nose, and then lays back to allow Teppei full reign.
Quickly, Teppei has Danji's pants off, impatient with the inefficiency of rubbing Danji through layers of rough cloth. Danji's cock feels much better in his hand, hard and hot and silky. He likes seeing the changes in Danji's expression too, as the tension slowly disappears and is replaced by a look of pleasure.
It gives Teppei pleasure, too, to see Danji's response to him. He's fully hard now, just from the knowledge that he can affect Danji this way. He's a little surprised, never having thought about it, at how arousing it is to know that he can have that sort of effect on someone else. It makes him curious to see what other responses he can elicit out of Danji so he wriggles downwards and takes the tip of Danji's cock into his mouth before he can think twice about what he's doing.
It's far too easy to get accustomed to the feel of Danji’s cock in his mouth. He likes it far too much. It doesn't take long to figure out just how to wrap his lips around Danji's length so he doesn't accidentally graze him with his teeth; doesn’t take long to maneuver his tongue to flick at that sensitive spot underneath the head as he bobs up and down; doesn’t take long to figure out just how much suction it takes to make Danji groan and jerk his hips forward.
"God, yes," Danji whispers. "Shimura, your mouth feels so good." He gently brushes Teppei's bangs aside and tucks a few of the longer strands of Teppei's hair behind his ear.
At the tenderness of the gesture, Teppei looks up, and when their eyes meet, he sees such naked longing in Danji's eyes that it makes his heart squeeze with the desire to fulfill it.
He can only do what he can to make Danji feel good in the moment, though. Teppei tries to take Danji in as far as possible, relaxing his throat muscles to prevent his gag reflex from kicking in the way he's read on the Internet. That's the only hard part of it all, but Teppei manages to get most of Danji in his mouth, little by little, until Danji jerks his hips forward again in impatience. Startled, Teppei pulls back, and then overbalances and tips over the edge of the bed onto the floor, arms thrown out behind to catch himself.
Danji sits up and laughs at him for this, which makes Teppei pout and point out that Danji should be apologizing, not laughing at him. Danji doesn't, though, just shakes his head and tells Teppei that he's got some vaseline in one of his recently packed boxes that they can use. Teppei happily riffles through Danji's stuff, making a mess of the well-organized packing, and Danji bitches about it from the bed but doesn't actually make a move to stop him.
Dropping the tub of vaseline onto Danji's stomach, Teppei steps out of his own shorts with a big sigh of satisfaction. He's been dying for some relief and Danji has yet to make a move to touch him at all. "Do some work here," he complains, leaning one knee on the bed.
"Wouldn't want you to feel 'surprise attacked' though," Danji murmurs, so smoothly that Teppei knows he's teasing for sure this time.
"Don't be an ass! That was just..."
"Your mouth running off as usual?" Danji smiles faintly. "I'll say it was. Come here, then."
He tugs at Teppei's thighs until he's got Teppei kneeling, straddled over his lap. He returns the favor from earlier, sucking Teppei's cock as he stretches Teppei with his vaseline covered fingers until Teppei's thighs are shaking with his effort to keep upright. Then Danji slathers his own cock with some more vaseline and guides Teppei down on top of him.
"L-like this?" Teppei wonders, looking down at himself sitting on Danji’s lap, breathy from being filled up by Danji.
"Feels different, right?" says Danji, hands at Teppei's hips to help get a good rhythm going. "I've heard it can be better this way." He thrusts up a little, hitting Teppei's prostate, and Teppei immediately finds himself moaning in agreement.
It's actually harder to hold out this time than it was before, the new position and Teppei's new-found sympathy for Danji making everything feel better and more intense. But he's also more determined to make it last. He likes the look of pleasure on Danji's face a lot more than the impotent despair that was there earlier, and suddenly he feels a driving need to make Danji come for him.
He thinks back to all the porn he's watched and makes use of everything he can remember - clenching around Danji's cock, and rolling his hips, and massaging that point under his own balls to loosen them when he gets too close to orgasm and they pull up too tight. Danji seems to be trying his best to hold back as well, though. He keeps clenching his teeth as he gets close, and grabbing Teppei's hips to keep him from moving. Teppei retaliates by clenching rhythmically and leaning down to lave one of Danji's nipples with his tongue, making Danji arch and shudder underneath him.
"Stop," Danji pleads, digging his fingers hard into Teppei's thighs, "Shimura, stop."
"But I want you to come for me," Teppei says.
Danji drags in a ragged breath at this, closing his eyes as he fights for control. His whole body is taut, Teppei can feel all the muscles hard and straining as he runs his hands down Danji's arms, across his chest, and to his abdomen.
"Let's just make it last a little longer," Danji says, finally. "I want to enjoy it... as long as I can."
He's not just talking about the sex, Teppei realizes. It's everything: the narrow, hard little bed, the harsh fluorescent light of the dorm room, the rigid rules of KPPS, the future and being a policeman. Danji really likes it here, enjoys the strict rules, the strenuous training and even the boring lectures that Teppei detests. Danji fits in here, looks good in uniform, is a pattern-card of what a good policeman should be. Teppei burns with injustice for his fellow student.
But he slows down and tries to make it last for the both of them. It doesn't take that much longer anyway, they're both so close, but he makes sure to milk as much pleasure out of it as possible for Danji, stroking and caressing wherever his hands can reach. He throws his head back and lets all the sounds spill from his throat, loving the way Danji's eyes flare with lust each time he moans.
Danji comes a lot harder this time than he did before, snapping his hips up uncontrollably into Teppei. His eyes are closed and he cries out Teppei’s name and the look on his face is such a tangle of emotion Teppei thinks that expression might be burned into his memory forever.
Focusing so hard on making it last for Danji helped Teppei hold out longer, but having waited so long it doesn't take much before he's rushing to the brink of orgasm now. He's helped along by long, tight strokes from Danji's hands, wrists twisting deftly on the upstrokes. Teppei falls forward to lean on his elbows, unable to sit up straight any longer, squirming because Danji's fingers feel too good on his over-sensitized cock. Still, when he comes, he remembers to point away from Danji so he doesn't get a mess all over Danji's stomach again. The result is a mess all over the straw matting of the bed instead-and even a little on the wall, but he's sure not going to mention it if Danji doesn't notice himself-which makes Danji's nose scrunch up in distaste.
"Don't even say it," Teppei warns, collapsing all over Danji.
Danji's low rumble of laughter feels good against his chest. "Well... I guess it doesn't matter any more, after tonight, right?"
"Don't say that, either," says Teppei. He lifts a hand and swats vaguely in the direction of Danji's shoulder. "You don't know what could happen tomorrow."
Danji doesn't say anything to that. He sighs, quiet and resigned, and Teppei's not sure if that means he's giving in to Teppei's optimism or if he's just tired of fighting the system.
It's pointless to argue about it though, and anyway Teppei is too tired. He's so tired that just the idea of having to climb up into his top bunk to sleep is daunting. After staring at his own bed for a moment between half-closed lids, he gives up on the thought and just rolls over (he doesn't mind taking the wet spot, even) and closes his eyes.
He expects Danji to kick him out and is surprised when Danji only snorts lightly and gets up to turn out the light. Danji doesn't come back, however, instead climbing up to sleep in Teppei's empty bunk. Teppei is conscious of a curious feeling of disappointment in his chest, which makes him determinedly squeeze his eyes shut tight. His breathing is already deep and even by the time Danji lifts a head to look at him across the room, and he doesn’t hear Danji say "thanks, Shimura," low and quiet into the darkness.