A Very Adama-Roslin Solstice, part 1
Title: A Very Adama-Roslin Solstice
Date posted: 12-06-09
Fandom: BSG
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these lovely characters.
Spoilers: None, really.
Notes: Okay, so. This is pure and utter crackfic. I'd say "I never write this!" but this is my second for the BSG fandom alone, so that's clearly a lie. I saw this pic, which led to my friend thepodsquad and I having this crazy discussion, which lead to this and then the encouragement to write the fic and the complete lack of ethics involved in the crackfic... well. It lead to this. It's full of holiday cheer and holiday miracles.
Dr Laura Roslin-Adama sighed as she finished addressing the two-hundredth Solstice card envelope. She was terribly late sending them out, but this was her first evening on vacation. Her job as the Secretary of Education gave her little time for frivolous things such as Solstice cards, but she loved this time of year, and went all out- as soon as she had the time. She had a two week vacation, and every minute was planned. Her husband, a Commander in the Colonial fleet, had returned from orbit last night, and their four children were coming over that evening for their traditional pre-Solstice gathering. It was a fun, festive affair, where she could have the kids sign the cards so she could get them out.
It was best if Laura didn't dwell on her children. She loved them all, in her own way, but dinners with everyone usually led to something getting broken, and it was usually her good china. Theirs was a blended family- the picture of modern Caprican life. Her current husband, Commander William Adama, had been married before, and had one son, Leland. His other son, Zak, had died a few years before in a tragic Viper accident before Laura had met him. Leland, called Lee, was a Viper pilot as well. He was slowly coming to terms with the idea of a stepmother. Someone he was having a harder time with was her own son, Gaius.
The summer Laura had turned twenty-one she'd gone to study in Aerilon for a semester, the idea of farming communes and peace and love just what she was interested in at the time. Instead of finding enlightenment she had gotten pregnant, and, in a pique of passion, married the father, a farmer named Julius. She'd lived in a rudimentary farm house, sharing everything grown with the community, living simply- which suited her fine, until her son was born. By the time Gaius was six months old, Laura had had enough of the fields and the lack of electricity and had returned to her life and her studies on Caprica, and found her true calling: teaching.
Gaius was now a brilliant scientist, and a doctor in his own right. He was very highly regarded throughout the Colonies, and had a job in the Ministry of Defense. He was never an easy child, and he was even more difficult as an adult, but she loved him. She was not too thrilled with his wife.
It wasn't that Laura hated the Cylons as a race. Ever since they had admitted that they were now able to mimic human form, and wanted nothing but to integrate into society, Laura had been cautiously optimistic. She had even been instrumental in the hiring of three Cylons into the Caprican school system. But Caprica- a ridiculous, pretentious name- was not at all what Gaius needed. Gaius needed someone to settle him and ground him. Though Caprica loved Gaius in her own particular way, at best she made Gaius's behavior even more erratic. Caprica has also seen fit to insist Gaius convert to the Cylon religion, which had been quite an ordeal three years ago, but now something Laura accepted. She put up the Solstice tree for Caprica right next to the Solstice menorah and let Caprica say her little prayers, because it was important to show her children acceptance and tolerance.
The only child that hadn't caused Laura any trouble was Sharon. After she had married Bill, it had seemed only right that they formally adopt the girl that Bill had taken under his wing after her own family had been killed in the devastating mining accident on Troy. She was training to be a pilot, just like the rest of the Adamas.
Rounding off her family was Bill. Sweet, caring Bill, who was shoving snow off the walk as she finished the cards, and who would stay up late helping her to wrap Solstice gifts once she purchased them. They had met at some stuffy military function she'd attended in the president's stead, and he had swiftly become the love of her life. By and large, Laura thought as she stacked the addressed envelopes on her dining room table, her life was perfect, and Solstice was just the time to celebrate that, no matter what the tenets of Caprica's religion said.
--
Though Gaius knew it happened every year, he was never happy about it. "You cannot be serious. She cannot seriously expect us to attend every mind-numbingly boring family dinner-- "
Caprica sighed. "Your mother expects us to be there, Gaius, and we will be there on time, so put away the yoga mat."
"No. I won't do it. It's bad enough I have to endure them the entire day of the Solstice feast, but this extra 'come visit with Mum and drink some cider!' event she's fabricated two weeks beforehand is just cruel."
Caprica's hands were soothing on his shoulders. "It's not so bad. At least you have family."
Gaius snorted. He had been angry at his mother ever since she had married Commander Adama and brought his entire raucous and uncouth family with him. His mother had also started to insist on more and more family functions in an effort to integrate the two. Gaius had hardly been able to tolerate the celebrations with just his mother, adding the Adama clan just made the ordeal insufferable. "Yes. An extended family that includes Viper jocks and all kinds of military rabble--"
"It's not very kind of you to speak that way about the Adamas, Gaius." Her lips brushed his ear as she spoke, and her arms wrapped around his neck. He let the rolled-up yoga mat slip to the floor. "We have to do it. And then we'll come home tonight and..." her voice trailed off enticingly as put a hand just under his collar, one finger glancing against his skin.
"And?"
"And we can reenact one of those blasphemous solstice stories you love so much."
There wasn't much Gaius wouldn't do to get his wife to dress up as one of the Solstice maidens, so he nodded his assent. He could endure an evening.
--
If there was anything Lee hated, it was the holidays. His own mother, a raging alcoholic, had stopped celebrating all holidays with him once his brother had died, and moved in with her new boyfriend on Picon. Lee had never been able to find an excuse not to spend the Solstice with his father and his new family- new wife, new adopted daughter, stepson, and even a stepdaughter-in-law.
Yes, Caprica was a problem.
It wasn't that she was a Cylon- Lee didn't care one way or the other about that. It was that she always smelled like she'd stepped out of the jungles of Scorpia, exotic and sweet and spicy and forbidden. It was that she had worn the tight red dresses the past two years to their Solstice dinners, ones that left very little to the imagination. It was that she always hugged him very tightly, and smiled her cool, white smile and rounded the syllables of his name.
He also couldn't understand why Caprica was married to Gaius. The guy was a genius, sure-- he had won a few awards, and had one scientific principle named after him-- but Caprica was very possibly the most beautiful girl Lee had ever laid eyes on, in addition to being brilliant and witty. (Gaius was also a lying, cheating bastard, but Lee tried not to think that, especially around Laura. Laura had a way of looking at everyone like she could see exactly what they were thinking. It was always embarrassing to be around her when Dr and Mrs Roslin-Baltar were there.)
Lee stood outside his father and Laura's house. The lights were strung on the roof the same way they'd been on his childhood home. Judging by the cars in the drive, he was the last one to arrive, and Lee worried that his father would greet him with a rumble of disapproval and a scowl.
Instead, it appeared that luck was on his side, because Sharon opened the door. "Hi," she said, and Lee was pleased to see that some members of his family knew how to dress appropriately. He hugged her, careful to wipe his feet on the mat. Laura didn't seem to be the kind of woman who would allow a stained carpet in her home. Granted, he didn't know his stepmother very well, but from what he knew, she was fairly particular with her surroundings. It didn't take a trained eye to see how tastefully the house was decorated, and how fine all the details were.
"What's everyone doing?" Lee asked as he followed Sharon inside. Sharon seemed to get along with everyone in the family.
"Dad's in his study, Mom is fussing over the hot cider, and I don't know where Guy and Rica got to."
Lee winced. Sharon meant well, but she had the frustrating habit of giving people ridiculous nicknames. He was glad that his name had already been shortened.
"I guess I'll say hi to Laura, then."
The kitchen smelled delicious, with various foods simmering on the stove, lasagna bubbling in the oven. Laura, as always, seemed happy to see him, even though Lee was sure his father had told her plenty of stories of why he is the bad son. His father liked to tell that to anyone who would listen.
"Don't forget to sign the cards!" Laura sang as she released him from her embrace, a timer beeping shrilly. "They need to get out by tomorrow. Sharon has them." Lee promised that he would, and went to the dining room, where Sharon was dutifully signing away.
Lee picked up the card to examine it. Laura had insisted they take a family photo two months ago, and it had been a three hour long affair, ending with a truce of silence between Lee and Gaius, who had bickered for the first two hours. The set was very in vogue, industrial and nothing Solstice-like about it, and Lee felt that the template Laura had selected went a bit overboard to compensate. Of course, in the picture selected, everyone looked fine except for Lee, who looked peeved.
"I can't believe they chose this one out of the five thousand pictures they made us take," Lee said to Sharon, scowling at the card he held.
"You look fine, Lee," Sharon said automatically, flipping to the next card, but Lee shook his head.
"No, look at my hair. It just looks awful."
"I think it looks sexy," Caprica purred from behind him, causing Lee to jump. "Gaius, tell Leland his hair looks sexy."
"Oh, honestly now, Caprica, give it a rest," Gaius drawled. "How could it possibly be flirting if you were standing right there?" He was referring to the shopgirl in the store they stopped in on their way over to get a bottle of wine for dinner.
"It was flirting," Caprica said sharply as she fingered the hair on the back of Lee's neck. The dichotomy of her tone and actions made Lee shiver. "How are you, Leland?"
As always, her voice makes his name sound like something magical. "Fine. Thank you."
Caprica laughed. "You're so tense, Leland. You need to relax." She put her hands on either side of his neck and massaged it, her hands gentle, and Lee quickly remembered why mistletoe was now banned from Adama-Roslin Solstice events.
Gaius rolled his eyes. "You know, you lose all mystique when you do these things. How am I supposed to take you seriously--"
"How are you supposed to take me seriously? Don't start--" Caprica pulled her hands away from Lee, and stood with her hands on her hips.
"I'm not about to have you harp on me in front of the family."
"Don't you dare-- Gaius. Gaius. Don't you walk away from me--"
Sharon and Lee exchanged glances as Caprica stalked after Gaius, their voices floating back until a door slammed shut.
Lee studied the card he held. "They haven't signed yet. Laura's going to be ticked."
--
Laura's cooking was, as always, perfect. Unfortunately, try though she might, she couldn't please everyone.
"Caprica, you're not eating?" Laura tried extra hard to inject everything she said to her daughter-in-law with extra affection. Caprica seemed to love her, calling her 'Mom' and embracing her tightly, and Laura just wanted her out of the house. It was truly unfortunate, as Laura had never intended to become that mother-in-law.
"I'm having the salad," Caprica replied brightly, motioning to her plate.
"Do you feel okay?"
"Of course, Mom. I'm just--"
"You made lasagna, Mum, and you know she doesn't eat meat," Gaius interjected. "It's something you choose to ignore at every single event we go to, because you have no respect for her. Or me, for that matter."
"Gaius--" Caprica said warningly, and Gaius put his fork down in protest.
Sharon, knowing what was coming, started herding her peas into rows on her plate.
"No, it's true," Gaius said, flourishing his napkin onto the table beside his plate theatrically, "No one in this family has any respect for me, or for you, or our marriage--"
"Oh, here we go," muttered Lee into his wine.
Gaius whipped his head over to look at his stepbrother. "What's that, Leland? Is there anything you'd like to add to this farce? You just lead the cavalry in the charge against my marriage, don't you? Where's the mistletoe this year, slick?"
"That was one time, and it's tradition!"
"No! It's more than that, you think that because you have some absurd military title that you're somehow more impressive--"
Caprica put a firm hand on her husband's arm. "Gaius, no one thinks that. Mom, I'd love to try the lasagna--"
"Gods, everything is about you, isn't it? Everything's about how the worlds have wronged the great Doctor Roslin-Baltar. You're ridiculous, you know that?"
"Boys, can't we try to have a nice dinner?" Laura could not help but notice that it was her daughter-in-law at the root of their dispute, and it made her jaw tense up.
"Every time we come it's like this. I don't know why even bother. Writing those Solstice cards and pretending we're a family--"
"Gaius. Sweetheart. We are a family," Laura said in a placating tone.
"For once, Gaius is right. This isn't a family, this is a joke," Lee paused and added guiltily, "No offense, Laura."
"Oh, so you say something like that to her and expect her not to get offended? You're quite honestly unbelievable. Can you ever think about anything other than--"
Caprica was an astute girl, and knew that though the argument would have started some way or another, this particular version had started with her. She wanted desperately to make amends. "Gaius. Look. Dinner is delicious, let's just enjoy it--"
"I don't have to take this. Laura, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to go. Thanks for dinner," Lee started to stand up when from the end of the table, his father spoke, without looking up from his food.
"Lee. Sit down."
"Dad, I've had enough--"
"I said, sit down."
Lee sat back down, pointedly ignoring Gaius's smirk, and refraining from displaying one of his own when Caprica elbowed Gaius.
"The lasagna's really delicious, Mom," Sharon said after a few minutes of silence.
"Thank you, honey. Who'd like seconds?"
No one dared refuse.
--
Laura looped her son's scarf around his neck after dinner, happy that tempers had defused enough that everyone had remained at the table through dessert. "Now, you know what time to get here, don't you? We don't want to be late and have to sit scattered all over."
"Mum, we'll be here after you attend your service. You know we're not going to temple with you."
Tucking the ends of the scarf into his coat, Laura pointedly avoided her son's eyes. "Oh. Oh, that's right, you're observing Caprica's beliefs this year."
"No, Mum, we observe Caprica's beliefs every year, because they're mine as well," Gaius said gently. He didn't want to start a fight that would prolong the evening any more. "We'll meet you here afterwards. It'll be lovely."
Caprica finished buttoning her coat and smiled apologetically. "We'd go with you, Mom, it's just that the vigil is at the same time as your service..."
"It's fine, darling. We'll see you at eight, then, for dinner. And you'll call me, Gaius?"
"Yes, of course, Mum. It was a wonderful dinner, thanks ever so."
Caprica took Gaius's arm as they walked towards the new sports car Gaius had bought himself for Solstice. He violently pulled his scarf out. "That was the worst dinner I've ever endured," he muttered.
"Shh. It wasn't that bad," Caprica said, slipping into the passenger seat. Gaius slammed the driver's door harder than was strictly necessary.
"No, it was that bad. Lee is just insufferable, and you- you, darling, are completely out of line, acting that way towards him."
"Why? Did it make you jealous?"
"Of him? Why should it- well, yes. Yes, it did, Caprica, and, frankly, it hurt my feelings."
"Well, you just think on that then. And I can't believe you brought up eating meat to Mom."
"She knows better. She knows you don't eat meat. It's disrespectful."
"To me. Not to you. And if it happens on Solstice, you must promise to keep your temper. It's a holy day."
Gaius wasn't looking forward to Solstice for that very reason. Caprica believed in remaining pure for a full forty-eight hours surrounding the holiday, and spent those hours wearing glittering dresses that remained as tightly wrapped as a Solstice present, only twice as tempting. "I know. I will."
She put a hand on his knee as they pulled into the street. "Patience is a virtue, my love."
--
"I think we should stop serving wine at dinner," Bill said as they climbed into bed that evening.
Laura groaned. "You mean the one thing that makes it bearable? Please. They'll kill us."
"Makes them rowdy."
"I'll give you that. I'm not sure how much that would change. They're determined to make things as difficult as possible. I had hoped they'd be over it by now."
"It's getting better. You haven't had to order new china in six months."
"That's true. It's unacceptable that that's our criteria, but it's true." Laura reached over to turn off the light, and then returned to her place as the little spoon, Bill's arms warm around her.
"You could be a bit easier on Caprica," he rumbled against the crown of her head, and Laura stifled a second groan.
"I am easy on Caprica. She's converted my son to that... ridiculous monotheistic religion, and I wouldn't be surprised if she converted him to vegetarianism soon too."
"Neither is a crime. She's a nice girl."
Laura scoffed. "You just think she's a nice girl because she'll talk about Pyramid with you while Kara's not around."
Bill shook his head. "Hasn't been the same since Starbuck was assigned to another ship. She's even spending Solstice in orbit."
"Think of it this way, if we banned liquor from dinner, not only would Kara never come again, the Tighs wouldn't come for Solstice cocktails."
The Tighs never stayed for Solstice dinner, because every year they attended the Solstice Night Buffet at the Landing Strip, the premier strip club in Caprica City. Everyone except Sharon knew where the Tighs were really off to after they enjoyed a few glasses of ambrosia, but no one commented on it.
"Hm. I suppose we should keep the booze."
"That might be best."
Part Two
Date posted: 12-06-09
Fandom: BSG
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these lovely characters.
Spoilers: None, really.
Notes: Okay, so. This is pure and utter crackfic. I'd say "I never write this!" but this is my second for the BSG fandom alone, so that's clearly a lie. I saw this pic, which led to my friend thepodsquad and I having this crazy discussion, which lead to this and then the encouragement to write the fic and the complete lack of ethics involved in the crackfic... well. It lead to this. It's full of holiday cheer and holiday miracles.
Dr Laura Roslin-Adama sighed as she finished addressing the two-hundredth Solstice card envelope. She was terribly late sending them out, but this was her first evening on vacation. Her job as the Secretary of Education gave her little time for frivolous things such as Solstice cards, but she loved this time of year, and went all out- as soon as she had the time. She had a two week vacation, and every minute was planned. Her husband, a Commander in the Colonial fleet, had returned from orbit last night, and their four children were coming over that evening for their traditional pre-Solstice gathering. It was a fun, festive affair, where she could have the kids sign the cards so she could get them out.
It was best if Laura didn't dwell on her children. She loved them all, in her own way, but dinners with everyone usually led to something getting broken, and it was usually her good china. Theirs was a blended family- the picture of modern Caprican life. Her current husband, Commander William Adama, had been married before, and had one son, Leland. His other son, Zak, had died a few years before in a tragic Viper accident before Laura had met him. Leland, called Lee, was a Viper pilot as well. He was slowly coming to terms with the idea of a stepmother. Someone he was having a harder time with was her own son, Gaius.
The summer Laura had turned twenty-one she'd gone to study in Aerilon for a semester, the idea of farming communes and peace and love just what she was interested in at the time. Instead of finding enlightenment she had gotten pregnant, and, in a pique of passion, married the father, a farmer named Julius. She'd lived in a rudimentary farm house, sharing everything grown with the community, living simply- which suited her fine, until her son was born. By the time Gaius was six months old, Laura had had enough of the fields and the lack of electricity and had returned to her life and her studies on Caprica, and found her true calling: teaching.
Gaius was now a brilliant scientist, and a doctor in his own right. He was very highly regarded throughout the Colonies, and had a job in the Ministry of Defense. He was never an easy child, and he was even more difficult as an adult, but she loved him. She was not too thrilled with his wife.
It wasn't that Laura hated the Cylons as a race. Ever since they had admitted that they were now able to mimic human form, and wanted nothing but to integrate into society, Laura had been cautiously optimistic. She had even been instrumental in the hiring of three Cylons into the Caprican school system. But Caprica- a ridiculous, pretentious name- was not at all what Gaius needed. Gaius needed someone to settle him and ground him. Though Caprica loved Gaius in her own particular way, at best she made Gaius's behavior even more erratic. Caprica has also seen fit to insist Gaius convert to the Cylon religion, which had been quite an ordeal three years ago, but now something Laura accepted. She put up the Solstice tree for Caprica right next to the Solstice menorah and let Caprica say her little prayers, because it was important to show her children acceptance and tolerance.
The only child that hadn't caused Laura any trouble was Sharon. After she had married Bill, it had seemed only right that they formally adopt the girl that Bill had taken under his wing after her own family had been killed in the devastating mining accident on Troy. She was training to be a pilot, just like the rest of the Adamas.
Rounding off her family was Bill. Sweet, caring Bill, who was shoving snow off the walk as she finished the cards, and who would stay up late helping her to wrap Solstice gifts once she purchased them. They had met at some stuffy military function she'd attended in the president's stead, and he had swiftly become the love of her life. By and large, Laura thought as she stacked the addressed envelopes on her dining room table, her life was perfect, and Solstice was just the time to celebrate that, no matter what the tenets of Caprica's religion said.
--
Though Gaius knew it happened every year, he was never happy about it. "You cannot be serious. She cannot seriously expect us to attend every mind-numbingly boring family dinner-- "
Caprica sighed. "Your mother expects us to be there, Gaius, and we will be there on time, so put away the yoga mat."
"No. I won't do it. It's bad enough I have to endure them the entire day of the Solstice feast, but this extra 'come visit with Mum and drink some cider!' event she's fabricated two weeks beforehand is just cruel."
Caprica's hands were soothing on his shoulders. "It's not so bad. At least you have family."
Gaius snorted. He had been angry at his mother ever since she had married Commander Adama and brought his entire raucous and uncouth family with him. His mother had also started to insist on more and more family functions in an effort to integrate the two. Gaius had hardly been able to tolerate the celebrations with just his mother, adding the Adama clan just made the ordeal insufferable. "Yes. An extended family that includes Viper jocks and all kinds of military rabble--"
"It's not very kind of you to speak that way about the Adamas, Gaius." Her lips brushed his ear as she spoke, and her arms wrapped around his neck. He let the rolled-up yoga mat slip to the floor. "We have to do it. And then we'll come home tonight and..." her voice trailed off enticingly as put a hand just under his collar, one finger glancing against his skin.
"And?"
"And we can reenact one of those blasphemous solstice stories you love so much."
There wasn't much Gaius wouldn't do to get his wife to dress up as one of the Solstice maidens, so he nodded his assent. He could endure an evening.
--
If there was anything Lee hated, it was the holidays. His own mother, a raging alcoholic, had stopped celebrating all holidays with him once his brother had died, and moved in with her new boyfriend on Picon. Lee had never been able to find an excuse not to spend the Solstice with his father and his new family- new wife, new adopted daughter, stepson, and even a stepdaughter-in-law.
Yes, Caprica was a problem.
It wasn't that she was a Cylon- Lee didn't care one way or the other about that. It was that she always smelled like she'd stepped out of the jungles of Scorpia, exotic and sweet and spicy and forbidden. It was that she had worn the tight red dresses the past two years to their Solstice dinners, ones that left very little to the imagination. It was that she always hugged him very tightly, and smiled her cool, white smile and rounded the syllables of his name.
He also couldn't understand why Caprica was married to Gaius. The guy was a genius, sure-- he had won a few awards, and had one scientific principle named after him-- but Caprica was very possibly the most beautiful girl Lee had ever laid eyes on, in addition to being brilliant and witty. (Gaius was also a lying, cheating bastard, but Lee tried not to think that, especially around Laura. Laura had a way of looking at everyone like she could see exactly what they were thinking. It was always embarrassing to be around her when Dr and Mrs Roslin-Baltar were there.)
Lee stood outside his father and Laura's house. The lights were strung on the roof the same way they'd been on his childhood home. Judging by the cars in the drive, he was the last one to arrive, and Lee worried that his father would greet him with a rumble of disapproval and a scowl.
Instead, it appeared that luck was on his side, because Sharon opened the door. "Hi," she said, and Lee was pleased to see that some members of his family knew how to dress appropriately. He hugged her, careful to wipe his feet on the mat. Laura didn't seem to be the kind of woman who would allow a stained carpet in her home. Granted, he didn't know his stepmother very well, but from what he knew, she was fairly particular with her surroundings. It didn't take a trained eye to see how tastefully the house was decorated, and how fine all the details were.
"What's everyone doing?" Lee asked as he followed Sharon inside. Sharon seemed to get along with everyone in the family.
"Dad's in his study, Mom is fussing over the hot cider, and I don't know where Guy and Rica got to."
Lee winced. Sharon meant well, but she had the frustrating habit of giving people ridiculous nicknames. He was glad that his name had already been shortened.
"I guess I'll say hi to Laura, then."
The kitchen smelled delicious, with various foods simmering on the stove, lasagna bubbling in the oven. Laura, as always, seemed happy to see him, even though Lee was sure his father had told her plenty of stories of why he is the bad son. His father liked to tell that to anyone who would listen.
"Don't forget to sign the cards!" Laura sang as she released him from her embrace, a timer beeping shrilly. "They need to get out by tomorrow. Sharon has them." Lee promised that he would, and went to the dining room, where Sharon was dutifully signing away.
Lee picked up the card to examine it. Laura had insisted they take a family photo two months ago, and it had been a three hour long affair, ending with a truce of silence between Lee and Gaius, who had bickered for the first two hours. The set was very in vogue, industrial and nothing Solstice-like about it, and Lee felt that the template Laura had selected went a bit overboard to compensate. Of course, in the picture selected, everyone looked fine except for Lee, who looked peeved.
"I can't believe they chose this one out of the five thousand pictures they made us take," Lee said to Sharon, scowling at the card he held.
"You look fine, Lee," Sharon said automatically, flipping to the next card, but Lee shook his head.
"No, look at my hair. It just looks awful."
"I think it looks sexy," Caprica purred from behind him, causing Lee to jump. "Gaius, tell Leland his hair looks sexy."
"Oh, honestly now, Caprica, give it a rest," Gaius drawled. "How could it possibly be flirting if you were standing right there?" He was referring to the shopgirl in the store they stopped in on their way over to get a bottle of wine for dinner.
"It was flirting," Caprica said sharply as she fingered the hair on the back of Lee's neck. The dichotomy of her tone and actions made Lee shiver. "How are you, Leland?"
As always, her voice makes his name sound like something magical. "Fine. Thank you."
Caprica laughed. "You're so tense, Leland. You need to relax." She put her hands on either side of his neck and massaged it, her hands gentle, and Lee quickly remembered why mistletoe was now banned from Adama-Roslin Solstice events.
Gaius rolled his eyes. "You know, you lose all mystique when you do these things. How am I supposed to take you seriously--"
"How are you supposed to take me seriously? Don't start--" Caprica pulled her hands away from Lee, and stood with her hands on her hips.
"I'm not about to have you harp on me in front of the family."
"Don't you dare-- Gaius. Gaius. Don't you walk away from me--"
Sharon and Lee exchanged glances as Caprica stalked after Gaius, their voices floating back until a door slammed shut.
Lee studied the card he held. "They haven't signed yet. Laura's going to be ticked."
--
Laura's cooking was, as always, perfect. Unfortunately, try though she might, she couldn't please everyone.
"Caprica, you're not eating?" Laura tried extra hard to inject everything she said to her daughter-in-law with extra affection. Caprica seemed to love her, calling her 'Mom' and embracing her tightly, and Laura just wanted her out of the house. It was truly unfortunate, as Laura had never intended to become that mother-in-law.
"I'm having the salad," Caprica replied brightly, motioning to her plate.
"Do you feel okay?"
"Of course, Mom. I'm just--"
"You made lasagna, Mum, and you know she doesn't eat meat," Gaius interjected. "It's something you choose to ignore at every single event we go to, because you have no respect for her. Or me, for that matter."
"Gaius--" Caprica said warningly, and Gaius put his fork down in protest.
Sharon, knowing what was coming, started herding her peas into rows on her plate.
"No, it's true," Gaius said, flourishing his napkin onto the table beside his plate theatrically, "No one in this family has any respect for me, or for you, or our marriage--"
"Oh, here we go," muttered Lee into his wine.
Gaius whipped his head over to look at his stepbrother. "What's that, Leland? Is there anything you'd like to add to this farce? You just lead the cavalry in the charge against my marriage, don't you? Where's the mistletoe this year, slick?"
"That was one time, and it's tradition!"
"No! It's more than that, you think that because you have some absurd military title that you're somehow more impressive--"
Caprica put a firm hand on her husband's arm. "Gaius, no one thinks that. Mom, I'd love to try the lasagna--"
"Gods, everything is about you, isn't it? Everything's about how the worlds have wronged the great Doctor Roslin-Baltar. You're ridiculous, you know that?"
"Boys, can't we try to have a nice dinner?" Laura could not help but notice that it was her daughter-in-law at the root of their dispute, and it made her jaw tense up.
"Every time we come it's like this. I don't know why even bother. Writing those Solstice cards and pretending we're a family--"
"Gaius. Sweetheart. We are a family," Laura said in a placating tone.
"For once, Gaius is right. This isn't a family, this is a joke," Lee paused and added guiltily, "No offense, Laura."
"Oh, so you say something like that to her and expect her not to get offended? You're quite honestly unbelievable. Can you ever think about anything other than--"
Caprica was an astute girl, and knew that though the argument would have started some way or another, this particular version had started with her. She wanted desperately to make amends. "Gaius. Look. Dinner is delicious, let's just enjoy it--"
"I don't have to take this. Laura, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to go. Thanks for dinner," Lee started to stand up when from the end of the table, his father spoke, without looking up from his food.
"Lee. Sit down."
"Dad, I've had enough--"
"I said, sit down."
Lee sat back down, pointedly ignoring Gaius's smirk, and refraining from displaying one of his own when Caprica elbowed Gaius.
"The lasagna's really delicious, Mom," Sharon said after a few minutes of silence.
"Thank you, honey. Who'd like seconds?"
No one dared refuse.
--
Laura looped her son's scarf around his neck after dinner, happy that tempers had defused enough that everyone had remained at the table through dessert. "Now, you know what time to get here, don't you? We don't want to be late and have to sit scattered all over."
"Mum, we'll be here after you attend your service. You know we're not going to temple with you."
Tucking the ends of the scarf into his coat, Laura pointedly avoided her son's eyes. "Oh. Oh, that's right, you're observing Caprica's beliefs this year."
"No, Mum, we observe Caprica's beliefs every year, because they're mine as well," Gaius said gently. He didn't want to start a fight that would prolong the evening any more. "We'll meet you here afterwards. It'll be lovely."
Caprica finished buttoning her coat and smiled apologetically. "We'd go with you, Mom, it's just that the vigil is at the same time as your service..."
"It's fine, darling. We'll see you at eight, then, for dinner. And you'll call me, Gaius?"
"Yes, of course, Mum. It was a wonderful dinner, thanks ever so."
Caprica took Gaius's arm as they walked towards the new sports car Gaius had bought himself for Solstice. He violently pulled his scarf out. "That was the worst dinner I've ever endured," he muttered.
"Shh. It wasn't that bad," Caprica said, slipping into the passenger seat. Gaius slammed the driver's door harder than was strictly necessary.
"No, it was that bad. Lee is just insufferable, and you- you, darling, are completely out of line, acting that way towards him."
"Why? Did it make you jealous?"
"Of him? Why should it- well, yes. Yes, it did, Caprica, and, frankly, it hurt my feelings."
"Well, you just think on that then. And I can't believe you brought up eating meat to Mom."
"She knows better. She knows you don't eat meat. It's disrespectful."
"To me. Not to you. And if it happens on Solstice, you must promise to keep your temper. It's a holy day."
Gaius wasn't looking forward to Solstice for that very reason. Caprica believed in remaining pure for a full forty-eight hours surrounding the holiday, and spent those hours wearing glittering dresses that remained as tightly wrapped as a Solstice present, only twice as tempting. "I know. I will."
She put a hand on his knee as they pulled into the street. "Patience is a virtue, my love."
--
"I think we should stop serving wine at dinner," Bill said as they climbed into bed that evening.
Laura groaned. "You mean the one thing that makes it bearable? Please. They'll kill us."
"Makes them rowdy."
"I'll give you that. I'm not sure how much that would change. They're determined to make things as difficult as possible. I had hoped they'd be over it by now."
"It's getting better. You haven't had to order new china in six months."
"That's true. It's unacceptable that that's our criteria, but it's true." Laura reached over to turn off the light, and then returned to her place as the little spoon, Bill's arms warm around her.
"You could be a bit easier on Caprica," he rumbled against the crown of her head, and Laura stifled a second groan.
"I am easy on Caprica. She's converted my son to that... ridiculous monotheistic religion, and I wouldn't be surprised if she converted him to vegetarianism soon too."
"Neither is a crime. She's a nice girl."
Laura scoffed. "You just think she's a nice girl because she'll talk about Pyramid with you while Kara's not around."
Bill shook his head. "Hasn't been the same since Starbuck was assigned to another ship. She's even spending Solstice in orbit."
"Think of it this way, if we banned liquor from dinner, not only would Kara never come again, the Tighs wouldn't come for Solstice cocktails."
The Tighs never stayed for Solstice dinner, because every year they attended the Solstice Night Buffet at the Landing Strip, the premier strip club in Caprica City. Everyone except Sharon knew where the Tighs were really off to after they enjoyed a few glasses of ambrosia, but no one commented on it.
"Hm. I suppose we should keep the booze."
"That might be best."
Part Two