Fic: Not Groovy
Title: Not Groovy
Author: Joidianne4eva
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 688
Characters: Charles, Erik, the thing aka Queen Ramses the third
Summary: Every mutation was groovy, right?
Disclaimer: I own nothing! If only >_>
Author's Note:This is crack people! Crack and mpreg!! It had to be done! Also it is completely unbeta'd and was written in an hour
Charles Xavier was very used to other people’s thoughts flittering through his head when his shields slipped, he could usually quickly pinpoint the owner of said thoughts and close down the connection. What he was not used to was thoughts coming from within his own body.
“It is fairly boring in this place,” it murmured, tone faintly petulant
“Hello?” Charles intoned glancing about the room
“You can hear me?”
“Yes, but I cannot seem to find you,” he explained
“Well that’s fine then I thought I would die from boredom before you realized you were bloody pregnant!” it snapped
Charles froze fingers still pressed to his temples, one thought running through his mind. He was going to kill Erik!!!
After their primary introduction the thing never seemed to shut up. At first it was ramblings about how confining the space was, Charles didn’t believe that one for a second because counting from the last time he and Erik had been together the thing was merely in a blob in his, and here he shuddered, womb.
He had decided to call it the thing until it stopped addressing itself as Queen Ramses the third. There was absolutely no way it could be sure it was even a girl and though he had explained repeatedly that the name Ramses was male the thing had taken little notice. It seemed stubbornness was an inherited trait.
“When I am born I shall take over the world!” it informed him gleefully one morning as he was bent worshipping the porcelain God. “I shall implant thousands of clones of myself and make the masses violently ill.”
“Could you please be a good non-entity and allow Papa his moment of weakness without trying to take over the world?” Charles moaned
“Hmm.” It hummed “It is for the best. Clearly only you and father are equipped to appreciate a creature such as myself properly.”
Charles smiled because behind the harsh words he could feel a hum of worry and he quickly washed the things thoughts with reassurance, calling up page after page of information he had memorised to ensure it that morning sickness was a natural part of pregnancy regardless of how unnatural his pregnancy was.
Charles quickly learnt that the thing was not to be allowed near horror movies on pain of head splitting migraines.
“Am I going to rip you apart like that?” it queried, voice horrified after a marathon of Alien movies
“No you won’t. That was simply a fictional film.” Charles assured it
“I wish to speak with Father on this matter!” it informed him primly and for once Charles thought it was a good idea. It was high time Erik discovered what he had released unto the unsuspecting world and Charles’ psyche.
Charles stared at Erik as the metal manipulator gaped “Pregnant? Come now Charles that isn’t funny.”
“Let me talk to him!” the thing demanded
“And what exactly would you say that I haven’t already?” Charles asked ignoring Erik’s suspicious look
“Cease this interrogation I wish to speak with Father!” it shouted
Charles groaned and rubbed his temple “Inside voice please.”
Gesturing Erik forward he reached towards the other man’s temples. “It wishes to speak with you.”
Erik frowned but relaxed under the touch
“Hello Father, it is time we had a discussion but first clarify something for me,” Charles swore he could see an image of the thing seated on a small chair stroking cells but he shoved the thought aside as he felt Erik’s shock “Is the name Queen Ramses the third too pretentious?”
Erik jerked back eyes wide “What the hell was that?”
Charles grinned “That was your child,”
Erik slumped back into the chair eyes glazed and Charles sighed
“What a lightweight, I didn’t even tell him about the world domination plot!”
“Yes the horror.” He deadpanned settling in to wait for Erik to regain what sanity the thing’s presence had leeched from him. All in all it could be worse there could have been two of them
“I’m not too old to divide,” The thing informed him gleefully
Charles groaned, how was this his life?
Author: Joidianne4eva
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 688
Characters: Charles, Erik, the thing aka Queen Ramses the third
Summary: Every mutation was groovy, right?
Disclaimer: I own nothing! If only >_>
Author's Note:This is crack people! Crack and mpreg!! It had to be done! Also it is completely unbeta'd and was written in an hour
Charles Xavier was very used to other people’s thoughts flittering through his head when his shields slipped, he could usually quickly pinpoint the owner of said thoughts and close down the connection. What he was not used to was thoughts coming from within his own body.
“It is fairly boring in this place,” it murmured, tone faintly petulant
“Hello?” Charles intoned glancing about the room
“You can hear me?”
“Yes, but I cannot seem to find you,” he explained
“Well that’s fine then I thought I would die from boredom before you realized you were bloody pregnant!” it snapped
Charles froze fingers still pressed to his temples, one thought running through his mind. He was going to kill Erik!!!
After their primary introduction the thing never seemed to shut up. At first it was ramblings about how confining the space was, Charles didn’t believe that one for a second because counting from the last time he and Erik had been together the thing was merely in a blob in his, and here he shuddered, womb.
He had decided to call it the thing until it stopped addressing itself as Queen Ramses the third. There was absolutely no way it could be sure it was even a girl and though he had explained repeatedly that the name Ramses was male the thing had taken little notice. It seemed stubbornness was an inherited trait.
“When I am born I shall take over the world!” it informed him gleefully one morning as he was bent worshipping the porcelain God. “I shall implant thousands of clones of myself and make the masses violently ill.”
“Could you please be a good non-entity and allow Papa his moment of weakness without trying to take over the world?” Charles moaned
“Hmm.” It hummed “It is for the best. Clearly only you and father are equipped to appreciate a creature such as myself properly.”
Charles smiled because behind the harsh words he could feel a hum of worry and he quickly washed the things thoughts with reassurance, calling up page after page of information he had memorised to ensure it that morning sickness was a natural part of pregnancy regardless of how unnatural his pregnancy was.
Charles quickly learnt that the thing was not to be allowed near horror movies on pain of head splitting migraines.
“Am I going to rip you apart like that?” it queried, voice horrified after a marathon of Alien movies
“No you won’t. That was simply a fictional film.” Charles assured it
“I wish to speak with Father on this matter!” it informed him primly and for once Charles thought it was a good idea. It was high time Erik discovered what he had released unto the unsuspecting world and Charles’ psyche.
Charles stared at Erik as the metal manipulator gaped “Pregnant? Come now Charles that isn’t funny.”
“Let me talk to him!” the thing demanded
“And what exactly would you say that I haven’t already?” Charles asked ignoring Erik’s suspicious look
“Cease this interrogation I wish to speak with Father!” it shouted
Charles groaned and rubbed his temple “Inside voice please.”
Gesturing Erik forward he reached towards the other man’s temples. “It wishes to speak with you.”
Erik frowned but relaxed under the touch
“Hello Father, it is time we had a discussion but first clarify something for me,” Charles swore he could see an image of the thing seated on a small chair stroking cells but he shoved the thought aside as he felt Erik’s shock “Is the name Queen Ramses the third too pretentious?”
Erik jerked back eyes wide “What the hell was that?”
Charles grinned “That was your child,”
Erik slumped back into the chair eyes glazed and Charles sighed
“What a lightweight, I didn’t even tell him about the world domination plot!”
“Yes the horror.” He deadpanned settling in to wait for Erik to regain what sanity the thing’s presence had leeched from him. All in all it could be worse there could have been two of them
“I’m not too old to divide,” The thing informed him gleefully
Charles groaned, how was this his life?